lay morals-第24章
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courage；' says he； 'to look for the last time on our beloved little devil and his inestimable proof…sheet？ How shall we be able to pass No。 14 Infirmary Street and feel that all its attractions are over？ How shall we bid farewell for ever to that excellent man； with the long greatcoat； wooden leg and wooden board； who acts as our representative at the gate of ALMA MATER？' But alas！ he had no choice： MR。 TATLER； whose career； he says himself； had been successful； passed peacefully away； and has ever since dumbly implored 'the bringing home of bell and burial。'
ALTER ET IDEM。 A very different affair was the LAPSUS LINGUAE from the EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY MAGAZINE。 The two prospectuses alone； laid side by side； would indicate the march of luxury and the repeal of the paper duty。 The penny bi…weekly broadside of session 1828…4 was almost wholly dedicated to Momus。 Epigrams； pointless letters； amorous verses； and University grievances are the continual burthen of the song。 But MR。 TATLER was not without a vein of hearty humour； and his pages afford what is much better： to wit； a good picture of student life as it then was。 The students of those polite days insisted on retaining their hats in the class…room。 There was a cab…stance in front of the College； and 'Carriage Entrance' was posted above the main arch； on what the writer pleases to call 'coarse； unclassic boards。' The benches of the 'Speculative' then； as now； were red； but all other Societies （the 'Dialectic' is the only survivor） met downstairs； in some rooms of which it is pointedly said that 'nothing else could conveniently be made of them。' However horrible these dungeons may have been； it is certain that they were paid for； and that far too heavily for the taste of session 1823…4； which found enough calls upon its purse for porter and toasted cheese at Ambrose's； or cranberry tarts and ginger…wine at Doull's。 Duelling was still a possibility； so much so that when two medicals fell to fisticuffs in Adam Square； it was seriously hinted that single combat would be the result。 Last and most wonderful of all； Gall and Spurzheim were in every one's mouth； and the Law student； after having exhausted Byron's poetry and Scott's novels； informed the ladies of his belief in phrenology。 In the present day he would dilate on 'Red as a rose is she；' and then mention that he attends Old Greyfriars'； as a tacit claim to intellectual superiority。 I do not know that the advance is much。
But MR。 TATLER'S best performances were three short papers in which he hit off pretty smartly the idiosyncrasies of the 'DIVINITY；' the 'MEDICAL；' and the 'LAW' of session 1823…4。 The fact that there was no notice of the 'ARTS' seems to suggest that they stood in the same intermediate position as they do now … the epitome of student…kind。 MR。 TATLER'S satire is； on the whole； good…humoured； and has not grown superannuated in ALL its limbs。 His descriptions may limp at some points； but there are certain broad traits that apply equally well to session 1870…1。 He shows us the DIVINITY of the period … tall； pale； and slender … his collar greasy； and his coat bare about the seams … 'his white neckcloth serving four days； and regularly turned the third' … 'the rim of his hat deficient in wool' … and 'a weighty volume of theology under his arm。' He was the man to buy cheap 'a snuff…box； or a dozen of pencils； or a six…bladed knife； or a quarter of a hundred quills；' at any of the public sale…rooms。 He was noted for cheap purchases； and for exceeding the legal tender in halfpence。 He haunted 'the darkest and remotest corner of the Theatre Gallery。' He was to be seen issuing from 'aerial lodging…houses。' Withal； says mine author； 'there were many good points about him： he paid his landlady's bill； read his Bible； went twice to church on Sunday； seldom swore； was not often tipsy； and bought the LAPSUS LINGUAE。'
The MEDICAL； again； 'wore a white greatcoat； and consequently talked loud' … （there is something very delicious in that CONSEQUENTLY）。 He wore his hat on one side。 He was active； volatile； and went to the top of Arthur's Seat on the Sunday forenoon。 He was as quiet in a debating society as he was loud in the streets。 He was reckless and imprudent： yesterday he insisted on your sharing a bottle of claret with him （and claret was claret then； before the cheap…and…nasty treaty）； and to…morrow he asks you for the loan of a penny to buy the last number of the LAPSUS。
The student of LAW； again； was a learned man。 'He had turned over the leaves of Justinian's INSTITUTES； and knew that they were written in Latin。 He was well acquainted with the title…page of Blackstone's COMMENTARIES； and ARGAL （as the gravedigger in HAMLET says） he was not a person to be laughed at。' He attended the Parliament House in the character of a critic； and could give you stale sneers at all the celebrated speakers。 He was the terror of essayists at the Speculative or the Forensic。 In social qualities he seems to have stood unrivalled。 Even in the police…office we find him shining with undiminished lustre。 'If a CHARLIE should find him rather noisy at an untimely hour； and venture to take him into custody； he appears next morning like a Daniel come to judgment。 He opens his mouth to speak； and the divine precepts of unchanging justice and Scots law flow from his tongue。 The magistrate listens in amazement； and fines him only a couple of guineas。'
Such then were our predecessors and their College Magazine。 Barclay； Ambrose； Young Amos； and Fergusson were to them what the Cafe； the Rainbow； and Rutherford's are to us。 An hour's reading in these old pages absolutely confuses us； there is so much that is similar and so much that is different； the follies and amusements are so like our own； and the manner of frolicking and enjoying are so changed； that one pauses and looks about him in philosophic judgment。 The muddy quadrangle is thick with living students； but in our eyes it swarms also with the phantasmal white greatcoats and tilted hats of 1824。 Two races meet： races alike and diverse。 Two performances are played before our eyes； but the change seems merely of impersonators； of scenery； of costume。 Plot and passion are the same。 It is the fall of the spun shilling whether seventy…one or twenty…four has the best of it。
In a future number we hope to give a glance at the individualities of the present； and see whether the cast shall be head or tail … whether we or the readers of the LAPSUS stand higher in the balance。
COLLEGE PAPERS CHAPTER II … THE MODERN STUDENT CONSIDERED GENERALLY
WE have now reached the difficult portion of our task。 MR。 TATLER； for all that we care； may have been as virulent as he liked about the students of a former； but for the iron to touch our sacred selves； for a brother of the Guild to betray its most privy infirmities； let such a Judas look to himself as he passes on his way to the Scots Law or the Diagnostic； below the solitary lamp at the corner of the dark quadrangle。 We confess that this idea alarms us。 We enter a protest。 We bind ourselves over verbally to keep the peace。 We hope； moreover； that having thus made you secret to our misgivings； you will excuse us if we be dull； and set that down to caution which you might before have charged to the account of stupidity。
The natural tendency of civilisation is to obliterate those distinctions which are the best salt of life。 All the fine old professional flavour in language has evaporated。 Your very gravedigger has forgotten his avocation in his electorship； and would quibble on the Franchise over Ophelia's grave； instead of more appropriately discussing the duration of bodies under ground。 From this tendency； from this gradual attrition of life； in which everything pointed and characteristic is being rubbed down； till the whole world begins to slip between our fingers in smooth undistinguishable sands； from this； we say； it follows that we must not attempt to join MR。 TALLER in his simple division of students into LAW； DIVINITY； and MEDICAL。 Nowadays the F
