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第20章

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you know; but any gent would draw the line at shimmering poplars。〃

〃Well; hang it all;〃 said Moon; in an injured manner; 〃if Dr。 Pym
may have an old friend with ferrets; why mayn't I have an old
aunt with poplars?〃

〃I am sure;〃 said Mrs。 Duke; bridling; with something almost
like a shaky authority; 〃Mr。 Moon may have what aunts he likes。〃

〃Why; as to liking her;〃 began Moon; 〃Ibut perhaps;
as you say; she is scarcely the core of the question。
I repeat that I do not mean to follow the abstract speculation。
For; indeed; my answer to Dr。 Pym is simple and severely concrete。
Dr。 Pym has only treated one side of the psychology of murder。
If it is true that there is a kind of man who has a natural
tendency to murder; is it not equally true〃here he lowered
his voice and spoke with a crushing quietude and earnestness〃is
it not equally true that there is a kind of man who has
a natural tendency to get murdered?  Is it not at least
a hypothesis holding the field that Dr。 Warner is such a man?
I do not speak without the book; any more than my learned friend。
The whole matter is expounded in Dr。 Moonenschein's monumental work;
‘The Destructible Doctor;' with diagrams; showing the various ways
in which such a person as Dr。 Warner may be resolved into his elements。
In the light of these facts〃

〃Hi; stop the 'bus! stop the 'bus!〃 cried Moses; jumping up and down and
gesticulating in great excitement。  〃My principal's got something to say!
My principal wants to do a bit of talkin'。〃

Dr。 Pym was indeed on his feet; looking pallid and rather vicious。
〃I have strictly CON…fined myself;〃 he said nasally;
〃to books to which immediate reference can be made。
I have Sonnenschein's ‘Destructive Type' here on the table;
if the defence wish to see it。  Where is this wonderful work
on Destructability Mr。 Moon is talking about?  Does it exist?
Can he produce it?〃

〃Produce it!〃 cried the Irishman with a rich scorn。
〃I'll produce it in a week if you'll pay for the ink and paper。〃

〃Would it have much authority?〃 asked Pym; sitting down。

〃Oh; authority!〃 said Moon lightly; 〃that depends on a fellow's religion。〃

Dr。 Pym jumped up again。  〃Our authority is based on masses
of accurate detail;〃 he said。  〃It deals with a region in which
things can be handled and tested。  My opponent will at least
admit that death is a fact of experience。〃

〃Not of mine;〃 said Moon mournfully; shaking his head。
〃I've never experienced such a thing in all my life。〃

〃Well; really;〃 said Dr。 Pym; and sat down sharply amid a crackle of papers。

〃So we see;〃 resumed Moon; in the same melancholy voice; 〃that a
man like Dr。 Warner is; in the mysterious workings of evolution;
doomed to such attacks。  My client's onslaught; even if it occurred;
was not unique。  I have in my hand letters from more than one acquaintance
of Dr。 Warner whom that remarkable man has affected in the same way。
Following the example of my learned friends I will read only two of them。
The first is from an honest and laborious matron living off the Harrow Road。


〃Mr。 Moon; Sir;Yes; I did throw a sorsepan at him。  Wot then?
It was all I had to throw; all the soft things being porned;
and if your Docter Warner doesn't like having sorsepans thrown at him;
don't let him wear his hat in a respectable woman's parler; and tell
him to leave orf smiling or tell us the joke。Yours respectfully;
                                               Hannah Miles。


〃The other letter is from a physician of some note in Dublin;
with whom Dr。 Warner was once engaged in consultation。
He writes as follows:


〃Dear Sir;The incident to which you refer is one which I regret;
and which; moreover; I have never been able to explain。
My own branch of medicine is not mental; and I should be glad to have
the view of a mental specialist on my singular momentary and indeed
almost automatic action。  To say that I ‘pulled Dr。 Warner's nose;'
is; however; inaccurate in a respect that strikes me as important。
That I punched his nose I must cheerfully admit (I need not say with
what regret); but pulling seems to me to imply a precision of objective
with which I cannot reproach myself。  In comparison with this; the act
of punching was an outward; instantaneous; and even natural gesture。
Believe me; yours faithfully; Burton Lestrange。


〃I have numberless other letters;〃 continued Moon; 〃all bearing witness
to this widespread feeling about my eminent friend; and I therefore think
that Dr。 Pym should have admitted this side of the question in his survey。
We are in the presence; as Dr。 Pym so truly says; of a natural force。
As soon stay the cataract of the London water…works as stay
the great tendency of Dr。 Warner to be assassinated by somebody。
Place that man in a Quakers' meeting; among the most peaceful of Christians;
and he will immediately be beaten to death with sticks of chocolate。
Place him among the angels of the New Jerusalem; and he will be stoned
to death with precious stones。  Circumstances may be beautiful and wonderful;
the average may be heart…upholding; the harvester may be golden…bearded;
the doctor may be secret…guessing; the cataract may be iris…leapt;
the Anglo…Saxon infant may be brave…browed; but against and above
all these prodigies the grand simple tendency of Dr。 Warner to get
murdered will still pursue its way until it happily and triumphantly
succeeds at last。〃

He pronounced this peroration with an appearance of strong emotion。
But even stronger emotions were manifesting themselves on the other
side of the table。  Dr。 Warner had leaned his large body quite across
the little figure of Moses Gould and was talking in excited whispers
to Dr。 Pym。  That expert nodded a great many times and finally started
to his feet with a sincere expression of sternness。

〃Ladies and gentlemen;〃 he cried indignantly; 〃as my colleague has said;
we should be delighted to give any latitude to the defenceif there
were a defence。  But Mr。 Moon seems to think he is there to make jokes
very good jokes I dare say; but not at all adapted to assist his client。
He picks holes in science。  He picks holes in my client's social popularity。
He picks holes in my literary style; which doesn't seem to suit his high…toned
European taste。  But how does this picking of holes affect the issue?
This Smith has picked two holes in my client's hat; and with an inch better
aim would have picked two holes in his head。  All the jokes in the world
won't unpick those holes or be any use for the defence。〃

Inglewood looked down in some embarrassment; as if shaken by the evident
fairness of this; but Moon still gazed at his opponent in a dreamy way。
〃The defence?〃 he said vaguely〃oh; I haven't begun that yet。〃

〃You certainly have not;〃 said Pym warmly; amid a murmur of applause
from his side; which the other side found it impossible to answer。
〃Perhaps; if you have any defence; which has been doubtful from
the very beginning〃

〃While you're standing up;〃 said Moon; in the same almost sleepy style;
〃perhaps I might ask you a question。〃

〃A question?  Certainly;〃 said Pym stiffly。  〃It was distinctly
arranged between us that as we could not cross…examine
the witnesses; we might vicariously cross…examine each other。
We are in a position to invite all such inquiry。〃

〃I think you said;〃 observed Moon absently; 〃that none of the prisoner's
shots really hit the doctor。〃

〃For the cause of science;〃 cried the complacent Pym; 〃fortunately not。〃

〃Yet they were fired from a few feet away。〃

〃Yes; about four feet。〃

〃And no shots hit the Warden; though they were fired quite close
to him too?〃 asked Moon。

〃That is so;〃 said the witness gravely。

〃I think;〃 said Moon; suppressing a slight yawn; 〃that your Sub…Warden
mentioned that Smith was one of the University's record men for shooting。〃

〃Why; as to that〃 began Pym; after an instant of stillness。

〃A second question;〃 continued Moon; comparatively curtly。
〃You said there were other cases of the accused trying to kill people。
Why have you not got evidence of them?〃

The American planted the points of his fingers on the table again。
〃In those cases;〃 he said precisely; 〃there 

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