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第18章

the purcell papers-2-第18章

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the lady's grief was so violent; that without

great effort she could not bring herself

to speak calmly at all。 As if to beguile

the time; the good dame went on in a

highly communicative strain to tell me;

amongst much that could not interest me;

a little of what I had desired to hear。 I

discovered that the grief of her whom I

had come to visit was excited by the

sudden death of a little boy; her only

child; who was then lying dead in his

mother's chamber。



'And the mother's name?' said I; inquiringly。



The woman looked at me for a moment;

smiled; and shook her head with the air of

mingled mystery and importance which

seems to say; 'I am unfathomable。' I

did not care to press the question; though

I suspected that much of her apparent

reluctance was affected; knowing that my

doubts respecting the identity of the person

whom I had come to visit must soon

be set at rest; and after a little pause the

worthy Abigail went on as fluently as

ever。 She told me that her young

mistress had been; for the time she had

been with herthat was; for about a year

and a halfin declining health and spirits;

and that she had loved her little child to a

degree beyond expressionso devotedly

that she could not; in all probability;

survive it long。



While she was running on in this way

the bell rang; and signing me to follow;

she opened the room door; but stopped in

the hall; and taking me a little aside; and

speaking in a whisper; she told me; as I

valued the life of the poor lady; not to say

one word of the death of young O'Mara。

I nodded acquiescence; and ascending a

narrow and ill…constructed staircase; she

stopped at a chamber door and knocked。



'Come in;' said a gentle voice from

within; and; preceded by my conductress;

I entered a moderately…sized; but rather

gloomy chamber。



There was but one living form within it

it was the light and graceful figure of a

young woman。 She had risen as I

entered the room; but owing to the

obscurity of the apartment; and to the

circumstance that her face; as she looked

towards the door; was turned away from

the light; which found its way in dimly

through the narrow windows; I could not

instantly recognise the features。



'You do not remember me; sir?' said the

same low; mournful voice。 'I amI WAS

Ellen Heathcote。'



'I do remember you; my poor child;'

said I; taking her hand; 'I do remember

you very well。 Speak to me frankly

speak to me as a friend。 Whatever I can

do or say for you; is yours already; only

speak。'



'You were always very kind; sir; to

thoseto those that WANTED kindness。'



The tears were almost overflowing; but

she checked them; and as if an accession

of fortitude had followed the momentary

weakness; she continued; in a subdued but

firm tone; to tell me briefly the

circumstances of her marriage with O'Mara。

When she had concluded the recital;

she paused for a moment; and I asked

again:



'Can I aid you in any wayby advice

or otherwise?'



'I wish; sir; to tell you all I have been

thinking about;' she continued。 'I am

sure; sir; that Master Richard loved me

onceI am sure he did not think to

deceive me; but there were bad; hard…

hearted people about him; and his family

were all rich and high; and I am sure he

wishes NOW that he had never; never seen

me。 Well; sir; it is not in my heart to blame

him。 What was _I_ that I should look at

him?an ignorant; poor; country girl

and he so high and great; and so beautiful。

The blame was all mineit was all my

fault; I could not think or hope he would

care for me more than a little time。 Well;

sir; I thought over and over again that

since his love was gone from me for ever;

I should not stand in his way; and hinder

whatever great thing his family wished for

him。 So I thought often and often to write

him a letter to get the marriage broken;

and to send me home; but for one reason;

I would have done it long ago: there was

a little child; his and minethe dearest;

the loveliest。' She could not go on for a

minute or two。 'The little child that is

lying there; on that bed; but it is dead

and gone; and there is no reason NOW why

I should delay any more about it。'



She put her hand into her breast; and

took out a letter; which she opened。 She

put it into my hands。 It ran thus:



     'DEAR MASTER RICHARD;

   'My little child is dead; and your

happiness is all I care about now。 Your

marriage with me is displeasing to your

family; and I would be a burden to you;

and in your way in the fine places; and

among the great friends where you must

be。 You ought; therefore; to break the

marriage; and I will sign whatever YOU

wish; or your family。 I will never try

to blame you; Master Richarddo not

think itfor I never deserved your

love; and must not complain now that

I have lost it; but I will always pray

for you; and be thinking of you while

I live。'



While I read this letter; I was satisfied

that so far from adding to the poor

girl's grief; a full disclosure of what had

happened would; on the contrary; mitigate

her sorrow; and deprive it of its sharpest

sting。



'Ellen;' said I solemnly; 'Richard

O'Mara was never unfaithful to you; he

is now where human reproach can reach

him no more。'



As I said this; the hectic flush upon her

cheek gave place to a paleness so deadly;

that I almost thought she would drop lifeless

upon the spot。



'Is heis he dead; then?' said she;

wildly。



I took her hand in mine; and told her

the sad story as best I could。 She listened

with a calmness which appeared almost

unnatural; until I had finished the mournful

narration。 She then arose; and going to

the bedside; she drew the curtain and gazed

silently and fixedly on the quiet face of the

child: but the feelings which swelled at

her heart could not be suppressed; the

tears gushed forth; and sobbing as if her

heart would break; she leant over the bed

and took the dead child in her arms。



She wept and kissed it; and kissed it and

wept again; in grief so passionate; so

heartrending; as to draw bitter tears from

my eyes。 I said what little I could to

calm herto have sought to do more

would have been a mockery; and observing

that the darkness had closed in; I

took my leave and departed; being

favoured with the services of my former

guide。



I expected to have been soon called

upon again to visit the poor girl; but

the Lodge lay beyond the boundary of my

parish; and I felt a reluctance to trespass

upon the precincts of my brother minister;

and a certain degree of hesitation in intruding

upon one whose situation was so

very peculiar; and who would; I had no

doubt; feel no scruple in requesting my

attendance if she desired it。



A month; however; passed away; and I

did not hear anything of Ellen。 I called

at the Lodge; and to my inquiries they

answered that she was very much worse

in health; and that since the death of the

child she had been sinking fast; and so

weak that she had been chiefly confined

to her bed。 I sent frequently to inquire;

and often called myself; and all that I

heard convinced me that she was rapidly

sinking into the grave。



Late one night I was summoned from

my rest; by a visit from the person who

had upon the former occasion acted as

my guide; he had come to summon me to

the death…bed of her whom I had then

attended。 With all celerity I made my

preparations; and; not without considerable

difficulty and some danger; we made a

rapid night…ride to the Lodge; a distance

of five miles at least。 We arrived safely;

and in a very short timebut too late。



I stood by the bed upon which lay the

once beautiful form of Ellen Heathcote。

The brief but sorrowful trial was past

the desolate mourner was gone to that

land where the pangs of grief; the tumults

of pass

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