all roads lead to calvary-第23章

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　　She　could　always　be　gracious　and　kind　to　him。　　It　was　not　as　if　she　had　tricked　him。　　He　had　always　loved　her。　　Kneeling　before　her；　serving　her：　　it　was　evident　it　made　him　supremely　happy。　　It　would　be　cruel　of　her　to　end　it。

The　landlady　entered　unexpectedly　with　the　tea；　but　he　did　not　rise　till　Joan　turned　away；　nor　did　he　seem　disconcerted。　　Neither　did　the　landlady。　　She　was　an　elderly；　quiet…eyed　woman；　and　had　served　more　than　one　generation　of　young　people　with　their　teas。

They　returned　home　by　train。　　Joan　insisted　on　travelling　third　class；　and　selected　a　compartment　containing　a　stout　woman　and　two　children。　　Arthur　had　to　be　at　the　works。　　An　important　contract　had　got　behindhand　and　they　were　working　overtime。　　She　and　her　father　dined　alone。　　He　made　her　fulfil　her　promise　to　talk　about　herself；　and　she　told　him　all　she　thought　would　interest　him。　　She　passed　lightly　over　her　acquaintanceship　with　Phillips。　　He　would　regard　it　as　highly　undesirable；　she　told　herself；　and　it　would　trouble　him。　　He　was　reading　her　articles　in　the　Sunday　Post；　as　also　her　Letters　from　Clorinda：　　and　of　the　two　preferred　the　latter　as　being　less　subversive　of　law　and　order。　　Also　he　did　not　like　seeing　her　photograph　each　week；　displayed　across　two　columns　with　her　name　beneath　in　one　inch　type。　　He　supposed　he　was　old…　fashioned。　　She　was　getting　rather　tired　of　it　herself。

〃The　Editor　insisted　upon　it；〃　she　explained。　　〃It　was　worth　it　for　the　opportunity　it　gives　me。　　I　preach　every　Sunday　to　a　congregation　of　over　a　million　souls。　　It's　better　than　being　a　Bishop。　　Besides；〃　she　added；　〃the　men　are　just　as　bad。　　You　see　their　silly　faces　everywhere。〃

〃That's　like　you　women；〃　he　answered　with　a　smile。　　〃You　pretend　to　be　superior；　and　then　you　copy　us。〃

She　laughed。　　But　the　next　moment　she　was　serious。

〃No；　we　don't；〃　she　said；　〃not　those　of　us　who　think。　　We　know　we　shall　never　oust　man　from　his　place。　　He　will　always　be　the　greater。　　We　want　to　help　him；　that's　all。〃

〃But　wasn't　that　the　Lord's　idea；〃　he　said；　〃when　He　gave　Eve　to　Adam　to　be　his　helpmeet？〃

〃Yes；　that　was　all　right；〃　she　answered。　　〃He　fashioned　Eve　for　Adam　and　saw　that　Adam　got　her。　　The　ideal　marriage　might　have　been　the　ideal　solution。　　If　the　Lord　had　intended　that；　he　should　have　kept　the　match…making　in　His　own　hands：　　not　have　left　it　to　man。　Somewhere　in　Athens　there　must　have　been　the　helpmeet　God　had　made　for　Socrates。　　When　they　met；　it　was　Xanthippe　that　she　kissed。〃

A　servant　brought　the　coffee　and　went　out　again。　　Her　father　lighted　a　cigar　and　handed　her　the　cigarettes。

〃Will　it　shock　you；　Dad？〃　she　asked。

〃Rather　late　in　the　day　for　you　to　worry　yourself　about　that；　isn't　it？〃　he　answered　with　a　smile。

He　struck　a　match　and　held　it　for　her。　　Joan　sat　with　her　elbows　on　the　table　and　smoked　in　silence。　　She　was　thinking。

Why　had　he　never　〃brought　her　up；〃　never　exacted　obedience　from　her；　never　even　tried　to　influence　her？　　It　could　not　have　been　mere　weakness。　　She　stole　a　sidelong　glance　at　the　tired；　lined　face　with　its　steel…blue　eyes。　　She　had　never　seen　them　other　than　calm；　but　they　must　have　been　able　to　flash。　　Why　had　he　always　been　so　just　and　kind　and　patient　with　her？　　Why　had　he　never　scolded　her　and　bullied　her　and　teased　her？　　Why　had　he　let　her　go　away；　leaving　him　lonely　in　his　empty；　voiceless　house？　　Why　had　he　never　made　any　claim　upon　her？　　The　idea　came　to　her　as　an　inspiration。　　At　least；　it　would　ease　her　conscience。　　〃Why　don't　you　let　Arthur　live　here；〃　she　said；　〃instead　of　going　back　to　his　lodgings？　　It　would　be　company　for　you。〃

He　did　not　answer　for　some　time。　　She　had　begun　to　wonder　if　he　had　heard。

〃What　do　you　think　of　him？〃　he　said；　without　looking　at　her。

〃Oh；　he's　quite　a　nice　lad；〃　she　answered。

It　was　some　while　again　before　he　spoke。　　〃He　will　be　the　last　of　the　Allways；〃　he　said。　　〃I　should　like　to　think　of　the　name　being　continued；　and　he's　a　good　business　man；　in　spite　of　his　dreaminess。　　Perhaps　he　would　get　on　better　with　the　men。〃

She　seized　at　the　chance　of　changing　the　subject。

〃It　was　a　foolish　notion；〃　she　said；　〃that　of　the　Manchester　school：　　that　men　and　women　could　be　treated　as　mere　figures　in　a　sum。〃

To　her　surprise；　he　agreed　with　her。　　〃The　feudal　system　had　a　fine　idea　in　it；〃　he　said；　〃if　it　had　been　honestly　carried　out。　　A　master　should　be　the　friend；　the　helper　of　his　men。　　They　should　be　one　family。〃

She　looked　at　him　a　little　incredulously；　remembering　the　bitter　periods　of　strikes　and　lock…outs。

〃Did　you　ever　try；　Dad？〃　she　asked。

〃Oh；　yes；〃　he　answered。　　〃But　I　tried　the　wrong　way。〃　　〃The　right　way　might　be　found；〃　he　added；　〃by　the　right　man；　and　woman。〃

She　felt　that　he　was　watching　her　through　his　half…closed　eyes。　〃There　are　those　cottages；〃　he　continued；　〃just　before　you　come　to　the　bridge。　　They　might　be　repaired　and　a　club　house　added。　　The　idea　is　catching　on；　they　tell　me。　　Garden　villages；　they　call　them　now。　　It　gets　the　men　and　women　away　from　the　dirty　streets；　and　gives　the　children　a　chance。〃

She　knew　the　place。　　A　sad　group　of　dilapidated　little　houses　forming　three　sides　of　a　paved　quadrangle；　with　a　shattered　fountain　and　withered　trees　in　the　centre。　　Ever　since　she　could　remember；　they　had　stood　there　empty；　ghostly；　with　creaking　doors　and　broken　windows；　their　gardens　overgrown　with　weeds。

〃Are　they　yours？〃　she　asked。　　She　had　never　connected　them　with　the　works；　some　half　a　mile　away。　　Though　had　she　been　curious；　she　might　have　learnt　that　they　were　known　as　〃Allway's　Folly。〃

〃Your　mother's；〃　he　answered。　　〃I　built　them　the　year　I　came　back　from　America　and　gave　them　to　her。　　I　thought　it　would　interest　her。　　Perhaps　it　would；　if　I　had　left　her　to　her　own　ways。〃

〃Why　didn't　they　want　them？〃　she　asked。

〃They　did；　at　first；〃　he　answered。　　〃The　time…servers　and　the　hypocrites　among　them。　　I　made　it　a　condition　that　they　should　be　teetotallers；　and　chapel　goers；　and　everything　else　that　I　thought　good　for　them。　　I　thought　that　I　could　save　their　souls　by　bribing　them　with　cheap　rents　and　share　of　profits。　　And　then　the　Union　came；　and　that　of　course　finished　it。〃

So　he；　too；　had　thought　to　build　Jerusalem。

〃Yes；〃　he　said。　　〃I'll　sound　him　about　giving　up　his　lodgings。〃

Joan　lay　awake　for　a　long　while　that　night。　　The　moon　looked　in　at　the　window。　　It　seemed　to　have　got　itself　entangled　in　the　tops　of　the　tall　pines。　　Would　it　not　be　her　duty　to　come　backmake　her　father　happy；　to　say　nothing　of　the　other。　　He　was　a　dear；　sweet；　lovable　lad。　　Together；　they　might　realize　her　father's　dream：　repair　the　blunders；　plant　gardens　where　the　weeds　now　grew；　drive　out　the　old　sad　ghosts　with　living　voices。　　It　had　been　a　fine　thought；　a　〃King's　thought。〃　　Others　had　followed；　profiting　by　his　mistakes。　　But　might　it　not　be　carried　further　than　even　they　had　gone；　shaped　into　some　noble　venture　that　should　serve　the　future。

Was　not　her　America　here？　　Why　seek　it　further？　　What　was　this　unknown　Force；　that；　against　all　sense　and　reason；　seemed　driving　her　out　into　the　wilderness　to　preach。　　Might　it　not　be　mere　vanity；　mere　egoism。　　Almost　she　had　convinced　herself。

And　then　there　flashed　remembrance　of　her　mother。　　She；　too；　had　laid　aside　herself；　had　thought　that　love　and　duty　could　teach　one　to　be　other　than　one　was。　　The　Ego　was　the　all　important　thing；　entrusted　to　us　as　the　talents　of　silver　to　the　faithful　servant：　to　be　developed；　not　for　our　own　purposes；　but　for　the　service　of　the　Master。

One　did　no　good　by　suppressing　one's　nature。　　In　the　end　it　proved　too　strong。　　Marriage　with　Arthur　would　be　only　repeating　the　mistake。　　To　be　worshipped；　to　be　served。　　It　would　be　very　pleasant；　when　one　was　in　the　mood。　　But　it　would　not　satisfy　her。　There　was　something　strong　and　fierce　and　primitive　in　her　nature　something　that　had　come　down　to　her　through　the　generations　from　some　harness…girded　ancestresssomething　impelling　her　instinctively　to　choose　the　fighter；　to　share　with　him　the　joy　of　battle；　healing　his　wounds；　giving　him　of　her　courage；　exulting　with　him　in　the　victory。

The　moon　had　risen　clear　of　the　entangling　pines。　　It　rode　serene　and　free。

Her　fat