father goriot(高老头)-第30章
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amuse themselves by winnowing the chaff of language to find its grammatical roots。 We FEEL that we are loved。 Our sentiments make themselves felt in everything； even at a great distance。 A letter is a living soul； and so faithful an echo of the voice that speaks in it； that finer natures look upon a letter as one of love's most precious treasures。 Father Goriot's affection was of the instinctive order； a canine affection raised to a sublime pitch； he had scented compassion in the air； and the kindly respect and youthful sympathy in the student's heart。 This friendship had； however； scarcely reached the stage at which confidences are made。 Though Eugene had spoken of his wish to meet Mme。 de Nucingen； it was not because he counted on the old man to introduce him to her house； for he hoped that his own audacity might stand him in good stead。 All that Father Goriot had said as yet about his daughters had referred to the remarks that the student had made so freely in public on that day of the two visits。
〃How could you think that Mme。 de Restaud bore you a grudge for mentioning my name？〃 he had said on the day following that scene at dinner。 〃My daughters are very fond of me； I am a happy father； but my sons…in…law have behaved badly to me； and rather than make trouble between my darlings and their husbands； I choose to see my daughters secretly。 Fathers who can see their daughters at any time have no idea of all the pleasure that all this mystery gives me； I cannot always see mine when I wish； do you understand？ So when it is fine I walk out in the Champs… Elysees； after finding out from their waiting…maids whether my daughters mean to go out。 I wait near the entrance； my heart beats fast when the carriages begin to come； I admire them in their dresses； and as they pass they give me a little smile； and it seems as if everything was lighted up for me by a ray of bright sunlight。 I wait； for they always go back the same way； and then I see them again； the fresh air has done them good and brought color into their cheeks； all about me people say； 'What a beautiful woman that is！' and it does my heart good to hear them。
〃Are they not my own flesh and blood？ I love the very horses that draw them； I envy the little lap…dog on their knees。 Their happiness is my life。 Every one loves after his own fashion； and mine does no one any harm； why should people trouble their heads about me？ I am happy in my own way。 Is there any law against going to see my girls in the evening when they are going out to a ball？ And what a disappointment it is when I get there too late； and am told that 'Madame has gone out！' Once I waited till three o'clock in the morning for Nasie； I had not seen her for two whole days。 I was so pleased； that it was almost too much for me！ Please do not speak of me unless it is to say how good my daughters are to me。 They are always wanting to heap presents upon me； but I will not have it。 'Just keep your money；' I tell them。 'What should I do with it？ I want nothing。' And what am I； sir； after all？ An old carcase； whose soul is always where my daughters are。 When you have seen Mme。 de Nucingen； tell me which you like the most；〃 said the old man after a moment's pause； while Eugene put the last touches to his toilette。 The student was about to go out to walk in the Garden of the Tuileries until the hour when he could venture to appear in Mme。 de Beauseant's drawing…room。
That walk was a turning…point in Eugene's career。 Several women noticed him； he looked so handsome； so young； and so well dressed。 This almost admiring attention gave a new turn to his thoughts。 He forgot his sisters and the aunt who had robbed herself for him； he no longer remembered his own virtuous scruples。 He had seen hovering above his head the fiend so easy to mistake for an angel； the Devil with rainbow wings； who scatters rubies； and aims his golden shafts at palace fronts； who invests women with purple； and thrones with a glory that dazzles the eyes of fools till they forget the simple origins of royal dominion； he had heard the rustle of that Vanity whose tinsel seems to us to be the symbol of power。 However cynical Vautrin's words had been； they had made an impression on his mind； as the sordid features of the old crone who whispers； 〃A lover； and gold in torrents；〃 remain engraven on a young girl's memory。
Eugene lounged about the walks till it was nearly five o'clock； then he went to Mme。 de Beauseant； and received one of the terrible blows against which young hearts are defenceless。 Hitherto the Vicomtesse had received him with the kindly urbanity； the bland grace of manner that is the result of fine breeding； but is only complete when it comes from the heart。
Today Mme。 de Beauseant bowed constrainedly； and spoke curtly：
〃M。 de Rastignac； I cannot possibly see you； at least not at this moment。 I am engaged 。 。 。〃
An observer； and Rastignac instantly became an observer； could read the whole history； the character and customs of caste； in the phrase； in the tones of her voice； in her glance and bearing。 He caught a glimpse of the iron hand beneath the velvet glove the personality； the egoism beneath the manner； the wood beneath the varnish。 In short； he heard that unmistakable I THE KING that issues from the plumed canopy of the throne； and finds its last echo under the crest of the simplest gentleman。
Eugene had trusted too implicitly to the generosity of a woman； he could not believe in her haughtiness。 Like all the unfortunate； he had subscribed； in all good faith； the generous compact which should bind the benefactor to the recipient； and the first article in that bond； between two large…hearted natures； is a perfect equality。 The kindness which knits two souls together is as rare； as divine； and as little understood as the passion of love； for both love and kindness are the lavish generosity of noble natures。 Rastignac was set upon going to the Duchesse de Carigliano's ball； so he swallowed down this rebuff。
〃Madame；〃 he faltered out； 〃I would not have come to trouble you about a trifling matter； be so kind as to permit me to see you later； I can wait。〃
〃Very well； come and dine with me；〃 she said； a little confused by the harsh way in which she had spoken； for this lady was as genuinely kind…hearted as she was high…born。
Eugene was touched by this sudden relenting； but none the less he said to himself as he went away； 〃Crawl in the dust； put up with every kind of treatment。 What must the rest of the world be like when one of the kindest of women forgets all her promises of befriending me in a moment； and tosses me aside like an old shoe？ So it is every one for himself？ It is true that her house is not a shop； and I have put myself in the wrong by needing her help。 You should cut your way through the world like a cannon ball； as Vautrin said。〃
But the student's bitter thoughts were soon dissipated by the pleasure which he promised himself in this dinner with the Vicomtesse。 Fate seemed to determine that the smallest accidents in his life should combine to urge him into a career； which the terrible sphinx of the Maison Vauquer had described as a field of battle where you must either slay or be slain； and cheat to avoid being cheated。 You leave your conscience and your heart at the barriers； and wear a mask on entering into this game of grim earnest； where； as in ancient Sparta； you must snatch your prize without being detected if you would deserve the crown。
On his return he found the Vicomtesse gracious and kindly； as she had always been to him。 They went together to the dining…room； where the Vicomte was waiting for his wife。 In the time of the Restoration the luxury of the table was carried； as is well known； to the highest degree； and M。 de Beauseant； like many jaded men of the world； had few pleasures left but those of good cheer； in this matter； in fact； he was a gourmand of the schools of Louis XVIII。 and of the Duc d'Escars； and luxury was supplemented by splendor。 Eugene； dining for the first time in a house where the traditions of grandeur had descended through many generations； had never seen any spectacle like this that now met his eyes。 In the time of the Empire； balls had always ended with a supper；
