the dust-第62章

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And　indeed　to　a　casual　glance　she　looked　the　happy　bride　tryingnot　very　successfullyto　seem　used　to　her　husband　and　her　new　status。

〃Hold　it！〃　he　urged　gayly。　　〃I've　no　fancy　for　leading　round　a　lovely　martyr　in　chains。　　Especially　as　you're　about　as　healthy　and　well　placed　a　person　as　I　know。　　And　you'll　feel　as　well　as　you　look　when　you've　had　something　to　eat。〃

Whether　it　was　obedience　or　the　result　of　a　decision　to　drop　an　unprofitable　pose　he　could　not　tell；　but　as　soon　as　they　were　seated　and　she　had　a　bill　of　fare　before　her　and　was　reading　it；　her　expression　of　happiness　lost　its　last　suggestion　of　being　forced。　　〃Crab　meat！〃　she　said。　　〃I　love　it！〃

〃Two　portions　of　crab　meat；〃　he　said　to　the　waiter　with　pad　and　pencil　at　attention。

〃Oh；　I　don't　want　that　much；〃　she　protested。

〃You　forget　that　I　am　hungry；〃　rejoined　he。　〃And　when　I　am　hungry；　the　price　of　food　begins　to　go　up。〃　　He　addressed　himself　to　the　waiter：　　〃After　that　a　broiled　grousewith　plenty　of　hominyand　grilled　sweet　potatoesand　a　salad　of　endive　and　hot…　house　tomatoesand　I　know　the　difference　between　hot…　house　tomatoes　and　the　other　kinds。　　Nextsome　cheeseCoullomieresyes；　you　have　itI　got　the　steward　to　get　itand　toasted　crackersthe　round　kind；　not　the　squareand　not　the　hard　ones　that　unsettle　the　teethandwhat　kind　of　ice；　my　dear？or　would　you　prefer　a　fresh　peach　flambee？〃

〃YesI　think　so；〃　said　Dorothy。

〃You　hear；　waiter？and　a　bottle　ofthere's　the　head　waiterask　himhe　knows　the　champagne　I　like。〃

As　Norman　had　talked；　in　the　pleasant；　insistent　voice；　the　waiter　had　roused　from　the　air　of　mindless；　mechanical　sloth　characteristic　of　the　New　York　waiterunless　and　until　a　fee　below　his　high　expectation　is　offered。　　When　he　said　the　final　〃very　good；　sir；〃　it　was　with　the　accent　of　real　intelligence。

Dorothy　was　smiling；　with　the　amusement　of　youth　and　inexperience。　　〃What　a　lot　of　trouble　you　took　about　it；〃　said　she。

He　shrugged　his　shoulders。　　〃Anything　worth　doing　at　all　is　worth　taking　trouble　about。　　You　will　see。　We　shall　get　results。　　The　supper　will　be　the　best　this　house　can　put　together。〃

〃You　can　have　anything　you　want　in　this　world；　if　you　only　can　pay　for　it；〃　said　she。

〃That's　what　most　people　think；〃　replied　he。　〃But　the　truth　is；　the　paying　is　only　a　small　part　of　the　art　of　getting　what　one　wants。〃

She　glanced　nervously　at　him。　　〃I'm　beginning　to　realize　that　I'm　dreadfully　inexperienced；〃　said　she。

〃There's　nothing　discouraging　in　that；〃　said　he。　〃Lack　of　experience　can　be　remedied。　　But　not　lack　of　judgment。　　It　takes　the　great　gift　of　judgment　to　enable　one　to　profit　by　mistakes；　to　decide　what　is　the　real　lesson　of　an　experience。〃

〃I'm　afraid　I　haven't　any　judgment；　either；〃　confessed　she。

〃That　remains　to　be　seen。〃

She　hesitatedventured：　　〃What　do　you　think　is　my　worst　fault？〃

He　shook　his　head　laughingly。　　〃We　are　going　to　have　a　happy　supper。〃

〃Do　you　think　I　am　very　vain？〃　persisted　she。

〃Who's　been　telling　you　so？〃

〃Mr。　Tetlow。　　He　gave　me　an　awful　talking　to；　just　before　I〃　　She　paused　at　the　edge　of　the　forbidden　ground。　　〃He　didn't　spare　me；〃　she　went　on。　〃He　said　I　was　a　vain；　self…centered　little　fool。〃

〃And　what　did　you　say？〃

〃I　was　very　angry。　　I　told　him　he　had　no　right　to　accuse　me　of　that。　　I　reminded　him　that　he　had　never　heard　me　say　a　word　about　myself。〃

〃And　did　he　say　that　the　vainest　people　were　just　that　waynever　speaking　of　themselves；　never　thinking　of　anything　else？〃

〃Oh；　he　told　you　what　he　said；〃　cried　she。

〃No；〃　laughed　he。

She　reddened。　　〃YOU　think　I'm　vain？〃

He　made　a　good…humoredly　satirical　little　bow。　　〃I　think　you　are　charming；〃　said　he。　　〃It　would　be　a　waste　of　time　to　look　at　or　to　think　of　anyone　else　when　oneself　is　the　most　charming　and　interesting　person　in　the　world。　　Still〃　　He　put　into　his　face　and　voice　a　suggestion　of　gravity　that　caught　her　utmost　attention　〃if　one　is　to　get　anywhere；　is　to　win　consideration　from　othersand　happiness　for　oneselfone　sim…　ply　must　do　a　little　thinking　about　othersoccasionally。〃

Her　eyes　lowered。　　A　faint　color　tinged　her　cheeks。

〃The　reason　most　of　us　are　so　uncomfortable　downright　unhappy　most　of　the　timeis　that　we　never　really　take　our　thoughts　off　our　precious　fascinating　selves。　　The　result　is　that　some　day　we　find　that　the　likingand　friendshipand　loveof　those　around　us　has　limitsand　we　are　left　severely　alone。　　Of　course；　if　one　has　a　great　deal　of　money；　one　can　buy　excellent　imitations　of　liking　and　friendship　and　even　loveI　ought　to　say；　especially　love〃

The　color　flamed　in　her　face。

〃But；〃　he　went　on；　〃if　one　is　in　modest　circumstances　or　poor；　one　has　to　take　care。〃

〃Or　dependent；〃　she　said；　with　one　of　those　unexpected　flashes　of　subtle　intelligence　that　so　complicated　the　study　of　her　character。　　He　had　been　talking　to　amuse　himself　rather　than　with　any　idea　of　her　understanding。　　Her　sudden　bright　color　and　her　two　words〃or　dependent〃roused　him　to　see　that　she　thought　he　was　deliberately　giving　her　a　savage　lecture　from　the　cover　of　general　remarks。　　〃With　the　vanity　of　the　typical　woman；〃　he　said　to　himself；　〃she　always　imagines　SHE　is　the　subject　of　everyone's　thought　and　talk。〃

〃Or　dependent；〃　said　he　to　her；　easily。　　〃I　wasn't　thinking　of　you；　but　yours　IS　a　case　in　point。　　Come；　nownothing　to　look　blue　about！　　Here's　something　to　eat。　　No；　it's　for　the　next　table。〃

〃You　won't　let　me　explain；〃　she　protested；　between　the　prudence　of　reproach　and　the　candor　of　anger。

〃There's　nothing　to　explain；〃　replied　he。　　〃Don't　bother　about　the　mistakes　of　yesterday。　　Remember　themyes。　　If　one　has　a　good　memory；　to　forget　is　impossiblenot　to　say　unwise。　　But　there　ought　to　be　no　more　heat　or　sting　in　the　memory　of　past　mistakes　than　in　the　memory　of　last　year's　mosquito　bites。〃

The　first　course　of　the　supper　arrived。　　Her　nervousness　vanished；　and　he　got　far　away　from　the　neighborhood　of　the　subjects　that；　even　in　remotest　hint；　could　not　but　agitate　her。　　And　as　the　food　and　the　wine　asserted　their　pacific　and　beatific　sway；　she　and　he　steadily　moved　into　better　and　better　humor　with　each　other。　　Her　beauty　grew　until　it　had　him　thinking　that　never；　not　in　the　most　spiritual　feminine　conceptions　of　the　classic　painters；　had　he　seen　a　loveliness　more　ethereal。　　Her　skin　was　so　exquisite；　the　coloring　of　her　hair　and　eyes　and　of　her　lips　was　so　delicately　fine　that　it　gave　her　the　fragility　of　things　bordering　upon　the　supernalof　rare　exotics；　of　sunset　and　moonbeam　effects。　　No；　he　had　been　under　no　spell　of　illusion　as　to　her　beauty。　　It　was　a　realitythe　more　fascinating　because　it　waxed　and　waned　not　with　regularity　of　period　but　capriciously。

He　began　to　look　round　furtively；　to　see　what　effect　this　wife　of　his　was　producing　on　others。　　These　last　few　months；　through　prudence　as　much　as　through　pride；　he　had　been　cultivating　the　habit　of　ignoring　his　surroundings；　he　would　not　invite　cold　salutations　or　obvious　avoidance　of　speaking。　　He　now　discovered　many　of　his　former　associatesand　his　vanity　dilated　as　he　noted　how　intensely　they　were　interested　in　his　wife。

Some　men　of　ability　have　that　purest　form　of　egotism　which　makes　one　profoundly　content　with　himself；　genuinely　indifferent　to　the　approval　or　the　disapproval　of　others。　　Norman's　vanity　had　a　certain　amount　of　alloy。　　He　genuinely　disdained　his　fellow…mentheir　timidity；　their　hypocrisy；　their　servility；　their　limited　range　of　ideas。　　He　was　indifferent　to　the　verge　of　insensibility　as　to　their　adverse　criticism。　　But　at　the　same　time　it　was　necessary　to　his　happiness　that　he　get　from　them　evidences　of　their　admiration　and　envy。　With　that　amusing　hypocrisy　which　tinges　all　human　nature；　he　concealed　from　himself　the　satisfaction；　the　joy　even；　he　got　out　of　the　showy　side　of　his　position。　And　no　feature　of　his　infatuation　for　Dorothy　surprised　him　so　much　as　the　way　it　rode　rough　shod　and　reckless　over　his　snobbishness。

With　the　fading　of　infatuation　had　come　many　reflections　upon　the　practical　aspects　of　what　he　had　done。　　It　pleased　him　with　himself　to　find　that；　in　this　first　test；　he　had　not　the　least　regret；　but　on　the　con…　trary　a　genuine　pride　in　the　courageous　independence