the dust-第6章
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It seemed an insult to this helpless little creature； the more rather than the less cowardly for being unspoken； for； no doubt her ideas of propriety were firmly conventional。
〃About done？〃 he asked impatiently。
She glanced up。 〃In a moment。 I'm sorry to be so slow。〃
〃You're not；〃 he assured her truthfully。 〃It's my impatience。 Let me see the pages you've finished。〃
With them he was able to concentrate his mind。 When she laid the last page beside his arm he was absorbed； did not look at her； did not think of her。 〃Take the machine away；〃 said he abruptly。
He was leaving for the day when he remembered her again。 He sent for her。 〃I forgot to thank you。 It was good work。 You will do well。 All you need is practiceand confidence。 Especially confidence。〃 He looked at her。 She seemed frailtouchingly frail。 〃You are not strong？〃
She smiled； and in an instant the frailty seemed to have been mere delicacy of buildthe delicacy that goes with the strength of steel wires； or rather of the spider's weaving thread which sustains weights and shocks out of all proportion to its appearance。 〃I've never been ill in my life；〃 said she。 〃Not a day。〃
Again； because she was standing before him in full view； he noted the peculiar construction of her frame the beautiful lines of length so dextrously combined that her figure as a whole was not tall。 He said； 〃A working womanor manneeds health above all。 Thank you again。〃 And he nodded a somewhat curt dismissal。 When she glided away and he was alone behind the closed door； he reflected for a moment upon the extraordinary amount of thinkingand the extraordinary kind of thinkinginto which this poor little typewriter girl had beguiled him。 He soon found the explanation for this vagary into a realm so foreign to a man of his high tastes and ambitions。 〃It's because I'm so in love with Josephine；〃 he decided。 〃I've fallen into the sentimental state of all lovers。 The whole sex becomes novel and interesting and worth while。〃
As he left the office； unusually late； he saw her still at workno doubt doing over again some bungled piece of copying。 She had her normal and natural look and airthe atomic little typewriter； unattractive and uninteresting。 With another smile for his romantic imaginings； he forgot her。 But when he reached the street he remembered her again。 The threatened blizzard had changed into a heavy rain。 The swift and sudden currents of air； that have made of New York a cave of the winds since the coming of the skyscrapers； were darting round corners； turning umbrellas inside out； tossing women's skirts about their heads； reducing all who were abroad to the same level of drenched and sullen wretched… ness。 Norman's limousine was waiting at the curb。 He； pausing in the doorway； glanced up and down the street； had an impulse to return and take the girl home。 Then he smiled satirically at himself。 Her lot condemned her to be out in all weathers。 It would not be a kindness but an exhibition of smug vanity to shelter her this one night； also； there was the question of her reputationand the possibility of turning her head； perhaps just enough to cause her ruin。 He sprang across the wind…swept； rain…swept sidewalk and into the limousine whose door was being held open by an obsequious attendant。 〃Home；〃 he said； and the door slammed。
Usually these journeys between office and home or club in the evening gave Norman a chance for ten or fifteen minutes of sleep。 He had discovered that this brief dropping of the thread of consciousness gave him a wonderful fresh grip upon the day； enabled him to work or play until late into the night without fatigue。 But that evening his mind was wide awake。 Nor could he fix it upon business。 It would interest itself only in the hurrying throngs of foot passengers and the ideas they suggested： Here am Iso ran his thoughtshere am I； tucked away comfortably while all those poor creatures have to plod along in the storm。 I could afford to be sick。 They can't。 And what have I done to deserve this good fortune？ Nothing。 Worse than nothing。 If I had made my career along the lines of what is honest and right and beneficial to my fellow men； I'd probably be plugging home under an umbrella and to a pretty poor excuse for a home。 But I was too wise to do that。 I've spent this day； as I spend all my days； in helping the powerful rich to add to their wealth and power； to add to the burdens those poor devils out there in the rain must bear。 And I'm rewarded with a limousine； and all the rest of it。
These thoughts neither came from nor produced a mood of penitence； or of regret even。 Norman was simply indulging in his favorite pastimefollowing without prejudice the leading of a chain of pure logic。 He despised self…deceivers。 He always kept himself free from prejudice and all its wiles。 He took life as he found it； but he did not excuse it and himself with the familiar hypocrisies that make the comfortable classes preen themselves on being the guardians and saviours of the ignorant； incapable masses。 When old Lockyer said one day that this was the function of the 〃upper classes；〃 Norman retorted： 〃Perhaps。 But； if so； how do they perform it？ Like the brutal old…fashioned farm family that takes care of its insane member by keeping him chained in filth in the cellar。〃 And once at the Federal Club By the way； Norman had joined it； had compelled it to receive him just to show his associates how a strong man could break even such a firmly established tradition as that no one who amounted to anything could be elected to a fashionable club in New York。 Once at the Federal Club old Galloway quoted with approval some essayist's remark that every clever human being was looking after and holding above the waves at least fifteen of his weaker fellows。 Norman smiled satirically round at the complacently nodding circle of gray heads and white heads。 〃My observation has been；〃 said he； 〃that every clever chap is shrewd enough to compel at least fifteen of his fellows to wait on him； to take care of himdo his choresand his dirty work。〃 The nodding stopped。 Scowls appeared； except on the face of old Galloway。 He grinned。 He was one of the few examples of a very rich man with a sense of humor。 Norman always thought it was this slight incident that led to his getting the extremely profitableand shadyGalloway business。
No； Norman's mood； as he watched the miserable crowds afoot and reflected upon them； was neither remorseful nor triumphant。 He simply noted an interesting facta commonplace factof the methods of that sardonic practical joker； Life。 Because the scheme of things was unjust and stupid； because others； most others； were uncomfortable or worsewhy should he make himself uncomfortable？ It would be an absurdity to get out of his limousine and trudge along in the wet and the wind。 It would be equally absurd to sit in his limousine and be unhappy about the misery of the world。 〃I didn't create it； and I can't recreate it。 And if I'm helping to make it worse； I'm also hastening the time when it'll be better。 The Great Ass must have brains and spirit kicked and cudgeled into it。〃
At his house in Madison Avenue； just at the crest of Murray Hill； there was an awning from front door to curb and a carpet beneath it。 He passed； dry and comfortable； up the steps。 A footman in quiet rich livery was waiting to receive him。 From rising until bedtime； up town and down town； wherever he went and whatever he was about； every possible menial detail of his life was done for him。 He had nothing to do but think about his own work and keep himself in health。 Rarely did he have even to open or to close a door。 He used a pen only in signing his name or marking a passage in a law book for some secretary to make a typewritten copy。
Upon most human beings this sort of luxury； carried beyond the ordinary and familiar uses of menial service； has a speedily enervating effect。 Thinking being the most onerous of all； they have it done； also。 They sink into silliness and moral and mental sloth。 They pass the time at foolish purposeless games indoors and out； or they wander aimlessly about the earth chattering with similar mental d
