the dust-第50章
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t be hers by inheritance and by trainingshe； the daughter of a great and simple and noble man
〃You'll come again？〃 she said； and there was the note in her voice that made his nerves grow tense and vibrate。
But he seemed not to have heard her question。 Still at the unopened door； he folded his arms upon his chest and said； speaking rapidly yet with the deliberation of one who has thought out his words in advance：
〃I don't know what kind of girl you are。 I never have known。 I've never wanted to know。 If you told me you werewhat is called good； I'd doubt it。 If you told me you weren't； I'd want to kill you and myself。 They say there's a fatal woman for every man and a fatal man for every woman。 I always laughed at the ideauntil you。 I don't know what to make of myself。〃
She suddenly laid her finger on her lips。 It irritated him； to discover that； as he talked； speaking the things that came from the very depths of his soul； she had been giving him only part of her attention； had been listening for a step on the stairs。 He was hearing the ascending step now。 He frowned。 〃Can't you send him away？〃 he asked。
〃I must；〃 said she in a low tone。 〃It wouldn't do for him to know you were here。 He has strict ideas and is terribly jealous。〃
A few seconds of silence； then a knock on the other side of the door。
〃Who's there？〃 she called。
〃I'm a little early；〃 came in an agreeable； young man's voice。 〃Aren't you ready？〃
〃Not nearly；〃 replied she； in a laughing； innocent voice。 〃You'll have to go away for half an hour。〃
〃I'll wait out here on the steps。〃
Her eyes were sparkling。 A delicate color had mounted to her skin。 Norman； watching her jealously； clinched his strong jaws。 She said： 〃Noyou must go clear away。 I don't want to feel that I'm being hurried。 Don't come back until a quarter past four。〃
〃All right。 I'm crazy to see you。〃 This in the voice of a lover。 She smiled radiantly at Norman； as if she thought he would share in her happiness at these evidences of her being well loved。 The unseen young man said： 〃Exactly a quarter past。 What time does your clock say it is now？〃
〃A quarter to；〃 replied she。
〃That's what my watch says。 So there'll be no mistake。 For half an hourgood…by！〃
〃Half an hour！〃 she called。
She and Norman stood in silence until the footsteps died away。 Then she said crossly to Norman： 〃You ought to have gone before。 I don't like to do these things。〃
〃You do them well；〃 said he； with a savage gleam。
She was prompt and sure with his punishment。 She said； simply and sweetly： 〃I'd do anything to keep HIS good opinion of me。〃
Norman felt and looked cowed。 〃You don't know how it makes me suffer to see you fond of another man；〃 he cried。
She seemed not in the least interested； went to the mirror of the bureau and began to inspect her hair with a view to doing it up。 〃You can go in five minutes；〃 said she。 〃By that time he'll be well out of the way。 Anyhow； if he saw you leaving the house he'd not know but what you had been to see some one else。 He knows you by reputation but not by sight。〃
Norman went to her； took her by the shoulders gently but strongly。 〃Look at me；〃 he said。
She looked at him with an expression； or perhaps absence of expression； that was simple listening。
〃If you meant awhile ago some such thing as I hintedI will have nothing to do with it。 You must marry meor it's nothing at all。〃
Her gaze did not wander； but before his wondering eyes she seemed to fade； fade toward colorlessness insig… nificance。 The light died from her eyes； the flush of health from her white skin； the freshness from her lips； the sparkle and vitality from her hair。 A slow； gradual transformation； which he watched with a frightened tightening at the heart。
She said slowly： 〃YouwantmetoMARRY you？〃
〃I've always wanted it； though I didn't realize；〃 replied he。 〃How else could I be sure of you？ Besides〃 He flushed； added hurriedly； almost in an undertone 〃I owe it to you。〃
She seated herself deliberately。
After he had waited in vain for her to speak； he went on： 〃If you married me； I know you'd play square。 I could trust you absolutely。 I don't knowcan't find out much about youbut at least I know that。〃
〃But I don't love you；〃 said she。
〃You needn't remind me of it；〃 rejoined he curtly。
〃I don't think soso poorly of you as I used to；〃 she went on。 〃I understand a lot of things better than I did。 But I don't love you； and I feel that I never could。〃
〃I'll risk that；〃 said Norman。 Through his clinched teeth； 〃I've got to risk it。〃
〃I'd be marrying you because I don't feel able to to make my own way。〃
〃That's the reason most girls have for marrying；〃 said he。 〃Love comes afterwardif it comes。 And it's the more likely to come for the girl not having faked the man and herself beforehand。〃
She glanced at the clock。 He frowned。 She started up。 〃You MUST go；〃 she said。
〃What is your answer？〃
〃Oh； I couldn't decide so quickly。 I must think。〃
〃You mean you must see your young man again see whether there isn't some way of working it out with him。〃
〃That； too；〃 replied she simply。 〃Butit's nearly four o'clock〃
〃I'll come back at seven for my answer。〃
〃No； I'll write you to…night。〃
〃I must know at once。 This suspense has got to end。 It unfits me for everything。〃
〃I'llI'll decideto…night；〃 she said； with a queer catch in her voice。 〃You'll get the letter in the morning mail。〃
〃Very well。〃 And he gave her his club address。
She opened the door in her impatience to be rid of him。 He went with a hasty 〃Good…by〃 which she echoed as she closed the door。
When he left the house he saw standing on the curb before it a tall； good…looking young manwith a frank amiable face。 He hesitated； glowering at the young man's profile。 Then he went his way； suffocating with jealous anger； depressed； despondent； fit for nothing but to drink and to brood in fatuous futility。
XVI
UNTIL very recently indeed psychology was not an ology at all but an indefinite something or other 〃up in the air；〃 the sport of the winds and fogs of transcendental tommy rot。 Now； however； science has drawn it down； has fitted it in its proper place as a branch of physiology。 And we are beginning to have a clearer understanding of the thoughts and the thought…producing actions of ourselves and our fellow beings。 Soon it will be no longer possible for the historian and the novelist； the dramatist； the poet； the painter or sculptor to present in all seriousness as instances of sane human conduct； the aberrations resulting from various forms of disease ranging from indigestion in its mild； temper… breeding forms to acute homicidal or suicidal mania。 In that day of greater enlightenment a large body of now much esteemed art will become ridiculous。 Practically all the literature of strenuous passion will go by the board or will be relegated to the medical library where it belongs； and it； and the annals of violence found in the daily newspapers of our remote time will be cited as documentary proof of the low economic and hygienic conditions prevailing in that almost barbarous period。 For certain it is that the human animal when healthy and well fed is invariably peaceable and kindly and tolerantup to the limits of selfishness； and even encroaching upon those limits。
Of writing rubbish about love and passion there is no endand will be no end until the venerable traditional nonsense about those interesting emotions shares the fate that should overtake all the cobwebs of ignorance thickly clogging the windows and walls of the human mind。 Of all the fiddle…faddle concerning passion probably none is more shudderingly admired than the notion that one possessed of an overwhelming desire for another longs to destroy that other。 It is true there is a form of murderous mania that involves practically all the emotions； including of course the passionswhich are as readily subject to derangement as any other part of the human organism。 But passion in itselfeven when it is so powerful that it dominates the whole life； as in the case of Frederick Normanpassion in itself is not a form of mental derangement in t
