the dust-第47章

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〃You　will　send　me　that　address？〃

〃In　the　letter　with　the　check。〃

〃Will　she　see　me；　do　you　think？〃

〃I　haven't　an　idea；〃　replied　Tetlow。

〃What's　the　mystery？〃　asked　Norman。　　〃Why　do　you　speak　of　her　so　indifferently？〃

〃It's　the　way　I　feel。〃　　Then；　in　answer　to　the　unspoken　suspicion　once　more　appearing　in　Norman's　eyes；　he　added：　　〃She's　a　very　nice；　sweet　girl；　Norman　so　far　as　I　know　or　believe。　　Beyond　that　　Go　to　see　her。〃

It　had　been　many　a　week　since　Norman　had　heard　a　friendly　voice。　　The　very　sound　of　the　human　voice　had　become　hateful　to　him；　because　he　was　constantly　detecting　the　note　of　nervousness；　the　scarcely　concealed　fear　of　being　entangled　in　his　misfortunes。　　As　Tetlow　rose　to　go；　Norman　tried　to　detain　him。　　The　sound　of　an　unconstrained　voice；　the　sight　of　a　believing　face　that　did　not　express　one　or　more　of　the　shadings　of　contempt　between　pity　and　aversionthe　sight　and　sound　of　this　friend　Tetlow　was　acting　upon　him　like　one　of　those　secret；　unexpected；　powerful　tonics　which　nature　at　times　suddenly　injects　into　a　dying　man　to　confound　the　doctors　and　cheat　death。

〃Tetlow；〃　said　he；　〃I'm　downprobably　down　for　good。　　But　if　I　ever　get　up　again；　I'll　not　make　one　mistakethe　one　that　cost　me　this　fall。　　Do　you　know　what　that　mistake　was？〃

〃I　suppose　you　mean　Miss　Hallowell？〃

〃No；〃　said　Norman；　to　his　surprise。　　〃I　mean　my　lack　of　money；　of　capital；　of　a　large　and　secure　income。　I　used　to　imagine　that　brains　were　the　best；　the　only　sure　asset。　　I　was　guilty　of　the　stupidity　of　overvaluing　my　own　possessions。〃

〃Brains　are　a　mighty　good　asset；　Fred。〃

〃Yesand　necessary。　　But　a　man　of　action　must　have　under　his　brains　another　assetMUST　have　it；　Billy。　　The　one　secure　asset　is　a　big　capital。　　Money　rules　this　world。　　Some　men　have　been　lucky　enough　to　rise　and　stay　risen；　without　money。　　But　not　a　man　of　all　the　men　who　have　been　knocked　out　could　have　been　dislodged　if　he　had　been　armed　and　armored　with　money。　　My　prodigality　was　my　fatal　mistake。　　I　shan't　make　it　againif　I　get　the　chance。　　You　don't　know；　Tetlow；　how　hard　it　is　to　get　money　when　you　are　tumbling　and　must　have　it。　　I　never　dreamed　what　a　factor　it　is　in　calamities　of　EVERY　sort。　　It's　THE　factor。〃

〃I　don't　like　to　hear　you　talk　that　way；　Norman；〃　said　Tetlow　earnestly。　　〃I've　always　most　admired　in　you　the　fact　that　you　weren't　mercenary。〃

〃And　I　never　shall　be；〃　said　Norman；　with　the　patient　smile　of　a　swift；　keen　mind　at　one　that　is　slow　and　hard　to　make　understand。　　〃It　isn't　my　nature。　But；　if　I'm　resurrected；　I'll　seem　to　be　mercenary　until　I　get　a　full　suit　of　the　only　armor　that's　invulnerable　in　this　world。　　Why；　I　built　my　fort　like　a　fool。　　It　was　impregnable　except　for　one　thingone　obvious　thing。　It　hadn't　a　supply　of　water。　　If　I　build　again　it'll　be　round　a　springan　income　big　enough　for　my　needs　and　beyond　anybody's　power　to　cut　off。〃

Tetlow　showed　that　he　was　much　cheered　by　Norman's　revived　interest　in　life。　　But　he　went　away　uneasy；　for　the　last　thing　Norman　said　to　him　was：

〃Don't　forget　that　address！〃



XV


BUT　it　chanced　that　Norman　met　her　in　the　street　about　an　hour　after　Tetlow's　call。

He　was　on　the　way　to　lunch　at　the　Lawyer's　Club　one　of　those　apparent　luxuries　that　are　the　dire　and　pitiful　necessities　of　men　in　New　York　fighting　to　maintain　the　semblance　and　the　reputation　of　prosperity。　It　must　not　be　imagined　by　those　who　are　here　let　into　Norman's　inmost　secrets　that　his　appearance　betrayed　the　depth　to　which　he　had　fallen。　　At　least　to　the　casual　eye　he　seemed　the　same　rich　and　powerful　personage。　An　expert　might　have　got　at　a　good　part　of　the　truth　from　his　somber　eyes　and　haggard　face；　from　the　subtle　transformation　of　the　former　look　of　serene　pride　into　the　bravado　of　pretense。　　And　as；　in　a　general　way；　the　facts　of　his　fall　were　known　far　and　wide；　all　his　acquaintances　understood　that　his　seeming　of　undiminished　success　was　simply　the　familiar　〃bluff。〃　　Its　advantage　to　him　with　them　lay　in　its　raising　a　doubt　as　to　just　what　degree　of　disaster　it　hidno　small　advantage。　Nor　was　this　〃bluff〃　altogether　for　the　benefit　of　the　outside　world。　　It　made　his　fall　less　hideously　intolerable　to　himself。　　In　the　bottom　of　his　heart　he　knew　that　when　drink　and　no　money　should　finally　force　him　to　release　his　relaxing　hold　upon　his　fashionable　clubs；　upon　luxurious　attire　and　habits；　he　would　suddenly　and　with　accelerated　speed　drop　into　the　abyss　We　have　all　caught　glimpses　of　that　abyssfrayed　fine　linen　cheaply　laundered；　a　tie　of　one　time　smartness　showing　signs　of　too　long　wear；　a　suit　from　the　best　kind　of　tailor　with　shiny　spot　glistening　here；　patch　peeping　there；　a　queer　unkemptness　about　the　hair　and　skinthese　the　beginnings　of　a　road　that　leads　straight　and　short　to　the　barrel…house；　the　park　bench；　and　the　police　station。　　Because；　when　a　man　strikes　into　that　stretch　of　the　road　to　perdition；　he　ceases　to　be　one　of　our　friends；　passes　from　view　entirely；　we　have　the　habit　of　SAYING　that　such　things　rarely　if　ever　happen。　　But　we　KNOW　better。　　Many's　the　man　now　high　who　has　had　the　sort　of　drop　Norman　was　taking。　　We　remember　when　he　was　making　a　bluff　such　as　Norman　was　making　in　those　days；　but　we　think　now　that　we　were　mistaken　in　having　suspected　it　of　being　bluff。

Norman；　dressed　with　more　than　ordinary　care　how　sensitive　a　man　becomes　about　those　things　when　there　is　neither　rustle　nor　jingle　in　his　pockets；　and　his　smallest　check　would　be　returned　with　the　big　black　stamp　〃No　Funds〃　　Norman；　groomed　to　the　last　button；　was　in　Broadway　near　Rector　Street。　　Ahead　of　him　he　saw　the　figure　of　a　girla　trim；　attractive　figure；　slim　and　charmingly　long　of　line。　　A　second　glance；　and　he　recognized　her。　　What　was　the　change　that　had　prevented　his　recognizing　her　at　once？　　He　had　not　seen　that　particular　lightish…blue　dress　before　nor　the　coquettish　harmonizing　hat。　　But　that　was　not　the　reason。　　No；　it　was　the　coquetry　in　her　toilet　the　effort　of　the　girl　to　draw　attention　to　her　charms　by　such　small　devices　as　are　within　the　reach　of　extremely　modest　means。　　He　did　not　like　this　change。　It　offended　his　taste；　it　alarmed　his　jealousy。

He　quickened　his　step；　and　when　almost　at　her　side　spoke　her　name〃Miss　Hallowell。〃

She　stopped；　turned。　　As　soon　as　she　recognized　him　there　came　into　her　quiet；　lovely　face　a　delightful　smile。　　He　could　not　conceal　his　amazement。　　She　was　glad　to　see　him！　　Instantly；　following　the　invariable　habit　of　an　experienced　analytical　mind；　he　wondered　for　what　unflattering　reason　this　young　woman　who　did　not　like　him　was　no　longer　showing　it；　was　seeming　more　than　a　little　pleased　to　see　him。　　〃Why；　how　d'ye　do；　Mr。　Norman？〃　said　she。　　And　her　friendliness　and　assurance　of　manner　jarred　upon　him。　　There　was　not　a　suggestion　of　forwardness；　but　he；　used　to　her　old…　time　extreme　reserve；　felt　precisely　as　if　she　were　bold　and　gaudy；　after　the　fashion　of　so　many　of　the　working　girls　who　were　popular　with　the　men。

This　unfavorable　impression　disappearedor；　rather；　retired　to　the　backgroundeven　as　it　became　definite。　　And　once　more　he　was　seeing　the　charms　of　physical　loveliness；　of　physicaland　moral；　and　mental　mystery　that　had　a　weird　power　over　him。　　As　they　shook　hands；　a　quiver　shot　through　him　as　at　the　shock　of　a　terrific　stimulant；　and　he　stood　there　longing　to　take　her　in　his　arms；　to　feel　the　delicate　yet　perfect　and　vividly　vital　life　of　that　fascinating　form　longing　to　kiss　that　sensitive；　slightly　pouted　rosy　mouth；　to　try　to　make　those　clear　eyes　grow　soft　and　dreamy

She　was　saying：　　〃I've　been　wondering　what　had　become　of　you。〃

〃I　saw　Tetlow；〃　he　said。　　〃He　promised　to　send　me　your　address。〃

At　Tetlow's　name　she　frowned　slightly；　then　a　gleam　of　ridicule　flitted　into　her　eyes。　　〃Oh；　that　silly；　squeamish　old　maid！　　How　sick　I　got　of　him！〃

Norman　winced；　and　his　jealousy　stirred。　　〃Why？〃　he　asked。

〃Always　warning　me　against　everybody。　　Always　giving　me　advice。　　It　was　too　tiresome。　　And　at　last　he　began　to　criticize　methe　way　I　dressedthe　way　I　talkedsaid　I　was　getting　too　free　in　my　manner。　The　impudence　of　him！〃

Norman　tried　to　smile。

〃He'd　have　liked　me　to　stay　a　silly　little　mouse　forever。〃