the dust-第44章

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〃You　must　be　crazy；〃　replied　she；　calm　again。　〃I've　no　complaint　to　make　of　the　way　I'm　being　treated。　　I　never　was　so　well　off　in　my　life。　　And　Mr。　Culver　is　very　kind　and　polite。〃

〃You　know　what　that　means；〃　said　Norman　harshly。

〃Everyone　isn't　like　you；〃　retorted　she。

He　was　examining　her　from　head　to　foot；　as　if　to　make　sure　that　it　was　she　with　no　charm　missing。　　He　noted　that　she　was　much　less　poorly　dressed　than　when　she　worked　for　his　firm。　　In　those　days　she　often　looked　dowdy；　showed　plainly　the　girl　who　has　to　make　a　hasty　toilet　in　a　small　bedroom；　with　tiny　wash…stand　and　looking…glass；　in　the　early；　coldest　hours　of　a　cold　morning。　Now　she　looked　well　taken　care　of　physically；　not　so　well；　not　anything　like　so　well　as　the　women　uptown　the　ladies　with　nothing　to　do　but　make　toilettes；　still；　unusually　well　looked　after　for　a　working　girl。　　At　first　glance　after　those　famished　and　ravening　days　of　longing　for　her　and　seeking　her；　she　before　him　in　rather　dim　reality　of　the　obvious　office…girl；　seemed　disappointing。　It　could　not　be　that　this　insignificance　was　the　cause　of　all　his　fever　and　turmoil。　　He　began　to　hope　that　he　was　recovering；　that　the　cloud　of　insane　desire　was　clearing　from　his　sky。　　But　a　second　glance　killed　that　hope。　　For；　once　more　he　saw　her　mystery；　her　beauties　that　revealed　their　perfection　and　splendor　only　to　the　observant。

While　he　looked　she　was　regaining　her　balance；　as　the　fading　color　in　her　white　skin　and　the　subsidence　of　the　excitement　in　her　eyes　evidenced。　　〃Let　me　pass；　please；〃　she　said　coldlyfor；　she　was　against　the　wall　with　him　standing　before　her　in　such　a　way　that　she　could　not　go　until　he　moved　aside。

〃We'll　lunch　together；〃　he　said。　　〃I　want　to　talk　with　you。　　Did　that　well…meaning　assTetlowtell　you？〃

〃There　is　nothing　you　can　say　that　I　wish　to　hear；〃　was　her　quiet　reply。

〃Your　eyesthe　edges　of　the　lids　are　red。　　You　have　been　crying？〃

She　lifted　her　glance　to　his　and　he　had　the　sense　of　a　veil　drawing　aside　to　reveal　a　desolation。　　〃For　my　father；〃　she　said。

His　face　flushed。　　He　looked　steadily　at　her。　　〃Now　that　he　is　gone；　you　have　no　one　to　protect　you。　　I　am〃

〃I　need　no　one；〃　said　she　with　a　faintly　contemptuous　smile。

〃You　do　need　some　oneand　I　am　going　to　undertake　it。〃

Her　face　lighted　up。　　He　thought　it　was　because　of　what　he　had　said。　　But　she　immediately　undeceived　him。　She　said　in　a　tone　of　delighted　relief；　〃Here　comes　Mr。　Tetlow。　　You　must　excuse　me。〃

〃Dorothylisten！〃　he　cried。　　〃We　are　going　to　be　married　at　once。〃

The　words　exploded　dizzily　in　his　ears。　　He　assumed　they　would　have　a　far　more　powerful　effect　upon　her。　But　her　expression　did　not　change。　　〃No；〃　she　said　hastily。　　〃I　must　go　with　Mr。　Tetlow。〃　　Tetlow　was　now　at　hand；　his　heavy　face　almost　formidable　in　its　dark　ferocity。　　She　said　to　him：　　〃I　was　waiting　for　you。　Come　on〃

Norman　turned　eagerly　to　his　former　friend。　　He　said：　　〃Tetlow；　I　have　just　asked　Miss　Hallowell　to　be　my　wife。〃

Tetlow　stared。　　Then　pain　and　despair　seemed　to　flood　and　ravage　his　whole　body。

〃I　told　you　the　other　day；〃　Norman　went　on；　〃that　I　was　ready　to　do　the　fair　thing。　　I　have　just　been　saying　to　Miss　Hallowell　that　she　must　have　some　one　to　protect　her。　　You　agree　with　me；　don't　you？〃

Tetlow；　fumbling　vaguely　with　his　watch　chain；　gazed　straight　ahead。　　〃Yes；〃　he　said　with　an　effort。　〃Yes；　you　are　right；　Norman。　　An　office　is　no　place　for　an　attractive　girl　as　young　as　she　is。〃

〃Has　Culver　been　annoying　her？〃　inquired　Norman。

Tetlow　started。　　〃Ahshe's　told　youhas　she？　　I　rather　hoped　she　hadn't　noticed　or　understood。〃

Both　men　now　looked　at　the　girl。　　She　had　shrunk　into　herself　until　she　was　almost　as　dim　and　unimpressive；　as　cipher…like　as　when　Norman　first　beheld　her。　　Also　she　seemed　at　least　five　years　less　than　her　twenty。　〃Dorothy；〃　said　Norman；　〃you　will　let　me　take　care　of　youwon't　you？〃

〃No；〃　she　saidand　the　word　carried　all　the　quiet　force　she　was　somehow　able　to　put　into　her　short；　direct　answers。

Tetlow's　pasty　sallowness　took　on　a　dark　red　tinge。　He　looked　at　her　in　surprise。　　〃You　don't　understand；　Miss　Dorothy；〃　he　said。　　〃He　wants　to　marry　you。〃

〃I　understand　perfectly；〃　replied　she；　with　the　far…　away　look　in　her　blue　eyes。　　〃But　I'll　not　marry　him。　I　despise　him。　　He　frightens　me。　　He　sickens　me。〃

Norman　clinched　his　hands　and　the　muscles　of　his　jaw　in　the　effort　to　control　himself。　　〃Dorothy；〃　he　said；　〃I've　not　acted　as　I　should。　　Tetlow　will　tell　you　that　there　is　good　excuse　for　me。　　I　know　you　don't　understand　about　those　thingsabout　the　ways　of　the　world〃

〃I　understand　perfectly；〃　she　interrupted。　　〃It's　you　that　don't　understand。　　I　never　saw　anyone　so　conceited。　　Haven't　I　told　you　I　don't　love　you；　and　don't　want　anything　to　do　with　you？〃

Tetlow；　lover　though　he　wasor　perhaps　because　he　was　lover；　of　the　hopeless　kind　that　loves　generously　could　not　refrain　from　protest。　　The　girl　was　flinging　away　a　dazzling　future。　　It　wasn't　fair　to　her　to　let　her　do　it　when　if　she　appreciated　she　would　be　overwhelmed　with　joy　and　gratitude。　　〃I　believe　you　ought　to　listen　to　Norman；　Miss　Dorothy；〃　he　said　pleadingly。　　〃At　any　rate；　think　it　overdon't　answer　right　away。　　He　is　making　you　an　honorable　proposalone　that's　advantageous　in　every　way〃

Dorothy　regarded　him　with　innocent　eyes；　wide　and　wondering。　　〃I　didn't　think　you　could　talk　like　that；　Mr。　Tetlow！〃　she　exclaimed。　　〃You　heard　what　I　said　to　himabout　the　way　I　felt。　　How　could　I　be　his　wife？　He　tried　everything　elseand；　now；　though　he's　ashamed　of　it；　he's　trying　to　get　me　by　marriage。　　Oh；　I　understand。　I　wish　I　didn't。　　I'd　not　feel　so　low。〃　　She　looked　at　Norman。　　〃Can't　you　realize　EVER　that　I　don't　want　any　of　the　grand　things　you're　so　crazy　aboutthat　I　want　something　very　differentsomething　you　could　never　give　meor　get　for　me？〃

〃Isn't　there　anything　I　can　do；　Dorothy；　to　make　you　forget　and　forgive？〃　he　cried；　like　a　boy；　an　infatuated　boy。　　〃For　God's　sake；　Tetlow；　help　me！　　Tell　her　I'm　not　so　rotten　as　she　thinks。　　I'll　be　anything　you　like；　my　darlingANYTHINGif　only　you'll　take　me。　For　I　must　have　you。　　You're　the　only　thing　in　the　world　I　care　forand；　without　you；　I've　no　interest　in　lifenonenone！〃

He　was　so　impassioned　that　passersby　began　to　observe　them　curiously。　　Tetlow　became　uneasy。　　But　Norman　and　Dorothy　were　unconscious　of　what　was　going　on　around　them。　　The　energy　of　his　passion　compelled　her；　though　the　passion　itself　was　unwelcome。　〃I'm　sorry；〃　she　said　gently。　　〃Though　you　would　have　hurt　me；　if　you　could；　I　don't　want　to　hurt　you。　。　。　。　I'm　sorry。　　I　can't　love　you。　。　。　。　　I'm　sorry。　　Come　on；　Mr。　Tetlow。〃

Norman　stood　aside。　　She　and　Tetlow　went　on　out　of　the　building。　　He　remained　in　the　same　place；　oblivious　of　the　crowd　streaming　by；　each　man　or　woman　with　a　glance　at　his　vacant　stare。



XIV


THAN　Fred　Norman　no　man　ever　had　better　reason　to　feel　securely　entrenched　upon　the　heights　of　success。　It　was　no　silly　vaunt　of　optimism　for　him　to　tell　Lockyer　that　only　loss　of　life　or　loss　of　mind　could　dislodge　him。　　And　a　few　days　after　Dorothy　had　extinguished　the　last　spark　of　hope　he　got　ready　to　pull　himself　together　and　show　the　world　that　it　was　indulging　too　soon　in　its　hypocritical　headshakings　over　his　ruin。

〃I　am　going　to　open　an　office　of　my　own　at　once；〃　he　said　to　his　sister。

She　did　not　wish　to　discourage　him；　but　she　could　not　altogether　keep　her　thoughts　from　her　face。　　She　had；　in　a　general　way；　a　clear　idea　of　the　complete　system　of　tollgates；　duly　equipped　with　strong　barriers；　which　the　mighty　few　have　established　across　practically　all　the　highroads　to　material　success。　　Also；　she　felt　in　her　brother's　manner　and　tone　a　certain　profound　discouragement；　a　lack　of　the　unconquerable　spirit　which　had　carried　him　so　far　so　speedily。　　It　is　not　a　baseless　notion　that　the　man　who　has　never　been　beaten　is　often　destroyed　by　his　first　reverse。　　Ursula　feared　the　spell　of　success　had　been　broken　for　him。

〃You　mean；〃　she　suggested；　with　apparent　carelessness；　〃that　you　will　give　up　your　forty　thousand　a　year？〃

He　made　a　disdainful　gesture。　　〃I　can　make　more　than　that；〃　said　he。　　〃It's　a　second　rate