the dust-第36章
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She blushed。 〃I'll admit I don't like it。 I'm not jealousbut I wish you weren't doing it。〃
〃So do I！〃 he exclaimed； with sudden energy that astonished and disquieted her。 〃So do I！ But since it can't be helped I shall go on。〃
Never had she respected him so profoundly。 For the first time she had measured strength with him and had been beaten and routed。 She fancied herself enormously proud； for she labored under the common delusion which mistakes for pride the silly vanity of class； or birth； or wealth； or position。 She had imagined she would never lower that cherished pride of hers to any man。 And she had lowered it into the dust。 No wonder women had loved him； she said to herself； couldn't he do with them； even the haughtiest of them； precisely as he pleased？ He had not tried to calm； much less to end her jealousy； on the contrary； he had let it flame as high as it would； had urged it higher。 And she did not dare ask him； even as a loving concession to her weakness； to give up an affair upon which everybody was putting the natural worst possible construction！ On the contrary； she had given him leave to go on because she fearedyes； knewthat if she tried to interfere he would take it as evidence that they could not get on together。 What a man！
But there was more to come that day。 As he was finishing dressing for dinner his sister Ursula knocked。 〃May I come； Frederick？〃 she said。
〃Sure；〃 he cried。 〃I'm fixing my tie。〃
Ursula； in a gown that displayed the last possible many of the homelier women said impossibleinch of her beautiful shoulders； came strolling sinuously in and seated herself on the arm of the divan。 She watched him； in his evening shirt； as he with much struggling did his tie。 〃How young you do look； Fred！〃 said she。 〃Especially in just that much clothes。 Not a day over thirty。〃
〃I'm not exactly a nonogenarian；〃 retorted he。
〃But usually your facein spite of its smoothness and no wrinkleshas a kind of an old youngor do I mean young old？look。 You've led such a serious life。〃
〃Um。 That's the devil of it。〃
〃You're looking particularly young to…night。〃
〃Same to you； Urse。〃
〃No； I'm not bad for thirty…four。 People half believe me when I say I'm twenty…nine。〃 She glanced complacently down at her softly glistening shoulders。 〃I've still got my skin。〃
〃And a mighty good one it is。 Best I ever saw except one。〃
She reflected a moment； then smiled。 〃I know it isn't Josephine's。 Hers is good but not notable。 Eyes and teeth are her strongholds。 I suppose it'sthe other lady's。〃
〃Exactly。〃
〃I mean the one in Jersey City。〃
He went on brushing his hair with not a glance at the bomb she had exploded under his very nose。
〃You're a cool one；〃 she said admiringly。
〃Cool？〃
〃I thought you'd jump。 I'm sure you never dreamed I knew。〃
He slid into his white waistcoat and began to button it。
〃Though you might know I'd find out；〃 she went on； 〃when everyone's talking。〃
〃Everyone's always talking；〃 said he indifferently。
〃And they rattle on to beat the band when they get a chance at a man like you。 Do you know what they're saying？〃
〃Certainly。 Loosen these straps in the back of my waistcoatthe upper ones； won't you？〃
As she fussed with the buckles she said： 〃But you don't know that they say you're going to pieces neglecting your caseskeeping away from your office wasting about half of your day with your lady love。 They say that you have gone stark madthat you are rushing to ruin。〃
〃A little looser。 That's better。 Thanks。〃
〃And everyone's wondering when Josephine will hear and go on the rampage。 She's so proud and so stuck on herself that they're betting she'll give you the bounce。〃
〃Well〃 getting into his coat〃you'd delight in that。 For you don't like her。〃
〃Ohsoso；〃 replied Ursula。 〃She's all right； as women go。 You know we women don't ever think any too well of each other。 We're ‘on。' Now； I'm frank to admit I'm not worth the powder to blow me up。 I can't do anything worth doing。 I don't know anything worth knowingexcept how to dress and make a fool of an occasional man。 I'm not a good house… keeper； nor a good wifeand I'd as lief go to jail for two years as have a baby。 But I admit I'm n。 g。 Most women are as poor excuses as I am； yet they think they're GRAND！〃
Norman； standing before his sister and smiling mysteriously； said： 〃My dear Urse； let me give you a great truth in a sentence。 The value of anything is not its value to itself or in itself； but its value to some one else。 A womaneven as incompetent a person as you〃
〃Or Josephine。〃
〃or Josephinemay seem to some man to be pricelessly valuable。 And if she happens to seem so to him； why； she IS so。〃
〃MeaningJersey City？〃
His eyes glittered curiously。 〃Meaning Jersey City；〃 he said。
A long silence。 Then Ursula： 〃But suppose Josephine hears？〃
He stood beside the doorway； waiting for her to pass out。 His face expressed nothing。 〃Let's go down。 I'm hungry。 We were talking about it this afternoon。〃
〃You and Jo！〃
〃Josephine and I。〃
〃And it's all right？〃
〃Why not？〃
〃You fooled her？〃
〃I don't stoop to that sort of thing。〃
〃No； indeed；〃 she laughed。 〃You rise to heights of deception that would make anyone else giddy。 Oh； I'd give anything to have heard。〃
〃There's nothing to deceive about；〃 said he。
She shook her head。 〃You can't put it over me； Fred。 You've never before made a fool of yourself about a woman。 I'd like to see her。 I suppose I'd be amazed。 I've observed that the women who do the most extraordinary things with men are the most ordinary sort of women。〃
〃Not to the men；〃 said he bitterly。 〃Not while they're doing it。〃
〃Does SHE seem extraordinary to YOU still？〃
He thrust his hands deep in his pockets。 〃What you heard is true。 I'm letting everything slidework careereverything。 I think of nothing else。 Ursula； I'm mad about hermad！〃
She threw back her head； looked at him admiringly。 Never had she so utterly worshiped this wonderful； powerful brother of hers。 He was in lovereally madly in loveat last。 So he was perfect！ 〃How long do you think it will hold； Fred？〃 she said； all sympathy。
〃God knows！〃
〃Yetcaring for her you can go on and marry another woman！〃
He looked at his sister cynically。 〃You wouldn't have me marry HER； would you？〃
〃Of course not；〃 protested she hastily。 Her passion for romance did not carry her to that idiocy。 〃You couldn't。 She's a sort of working girlisn't she？anyhow； that class。 No； you couldn't marry her。 But how can you marry another woman？〃
〃How could I give up Josephine？and give her up probably to Bob Culver？〃
Ursula nodded understandingly。 〃Butwhat are you going to do？〃
〃How should I know？ Perhaps break it off when I marryif you can call it breaking off； when there's nothing to break butme。〃
〃You don't mean〃 she cried； stopping when her tone had carried her meaning。
He laughed。 〃Yesthat's the kind of damn fool I've been。〃
〃You must have let her see how crazy you were about her。〃
〃Was anyone ever able to hide that sort of insanity？〃
Ursula gazed wonderingly at him； drew a long breath。 〃You！〃 she exclaimed。 〃Of all menyou！〃
〃Let's go down。〃
〃She must be a deep onedangerous；〃 said Ursula； furious against the woman who was daring to resist her matchless brother。 〃Fred； I'm wild to see her。 Maybe I'd see something that'd help cure you。〃
〃You keep out of it；〃 he replied； curtly but not with ill humor。
〃It can't last long。〃
〃It'd do for me； if it did。〃
〃The marriage will settle everything；〃 said Ursula with confidence。
〃It's got to；〃 said he grimly。
XI
THE next day or the next but one Dorothy telephoned him。 He often called her up on one pretext or another； or frankly for no reason at all beyond the overwhelming desire to hear her voice。 But she had never before 〃disturbed〃 him。 He had again and again assured her that he would not regard himself as 〃disturbed；〃 no matter what he might be doing。 She would not have it so。 As he was always watching for some faint sign that she was really interested in him； this call gave him a thrill of hopea specimen of the minor absurdities o
