the dust-第35章
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〃Her and her father。〃
She shrank; startled。 Then her lips smiled bravely; and she said; 〃He didn't say anything about her father。〃
〃No。 That was my own correction of his story。〃
She looked at him with wonder and doubt。 〃You aren'tDOING it; Fred!〃 she exclaimed。
He nodded。 〃Yes; indeed。〃 He looked at her placidly。 〃Why not?〃
〃You are SUPPORTING her?〃
〃If you wish to put it that way;〃 said he carelessly。 〃My money pays the billsall the bills。〃
〃Fred!〃
〃Yes? What is it? Why are you so agitated?〃 He studied her face; then rose; took a final pull at the cigarette; tossed it in the fire。 〃I must be going;〃 he said; in a cool; even voice。
She started up in a panic。 〃Fred! What do you mean? Are you angry with me?〃
His calm regard met hers。 〃I do not likethis sort of thing;〃 he said。
〃But surely you'll explain。 Surely I'm entitled to an explanation。〃
〃Why should I explain? You have evidently found an explanation that satisfies you。〃 He drew himself up in a quiet gesture of haughtiness。 〃Besides; it has never been my habit to allow myself to be questioned or to explain myself。〃
Her eyes widened with terror。 〃Fred!〃 she gasped。 〃What DO you mean?〃
〃Precisely what I say;〃 said he; in the same cool; inevitable way。 〃A man came to you with a story about me。 You listened。 A sufficient answer to the story was that I am marrying you。 That answer apparently does not content you。 Very well。 I shall make no other。〃
She gazed at him uncertainly。 She felt him going and going finally。 She seized him with desperate fingers; cried: 〃I AM content。 Oh; Freddon't frighten me this way!〃
He smiled satirically。 〃Are you afraid of the scandalbecause everything for the wedding has gone so far?〃
〃How can you think that!〃 cried sheperhaps too vigorously; a woman would have thought。
〃What else is there for me to think? You certainly haven't shown any consideration for me。〃
〃But you told me yourself that you were false to me。〃
〃Really? When?〃
She forgot her fear in a gush of rage rising from sudden realization of what she was doingof how leniently and weakly and without pride she was dealing with this man。 〃Didn't you admit〃
〃Pardon me;〃 said he; and his manner might well have calmed the wildest tempest of anger。 〃I did not admit。 I never admit。 I leave that to people of the sort who explain and excuse and apologize。 I simply told you I was paying the expenses of a family named Hallowell。〃
〃But WHY should you do it; Fred?〃
His smile was gently satirical。 〃I thought Tetlow told you why。〃
〃I don't believe him!〃
〃Then why this excitement?〃
One could understand how the opposition witnesses dreaded facing him。 〃I don't know just why;〃 she stammered。 〃It seemed to me you were admitting I mean; you were confirming what that man accused you of。〃
〃And of what did he accuse me? I might say; of what do YOU accuse me?〃 When she remained silent he went on: 〃I am trying to be reasonable; Josephine。 I am trying to keep my temper。〃
The look in her eyesthe fear; the timiditywas a startling revelation of characterof the cowardice with which love undermines the strongest nature。 〃I know I've been foolish and incoherent; Fred;〃 she pleaded。 〃ButI love you! And you remember how I always was afraid of that girl。〃
〃Just what do you wish to know?〃
〃Nothing; dearnothing。 I am not sillily jealous。 I ought to be admiring you for your generosityyour charity。〃
〃It's neither the one nor the other;〃 said he with exasperating deliberateness。
She quivered。 〃Then WHAT is it?〃 she cried。 〃You are driving me crazy with your evasions。〃 Pleadingly; 〃You must admit they ARE evasions。〃
He buttoned his coat in tranquil preparation to depart。 She instantly took alarm。 〃I don't mean that。 It's my fault; not asking you straight out。 Fred; tell mewon't you? But if you are too cross with me; thendon't tell me。〃 She laughed nervously; hiding her submission beneath a seeming of mocking exaggeration of humility。 〃I'll be good。 I'll behave。〃
A man who admired her as a figure; a man who liked her; a man who had no feeling for her beyond the general human feeling of wishing well pretty nearly everybodyin brief; any man but one who had loved her and had gotten over it would have deeply pitied and sympathized with her。 Fred Norman said; his look and his tone coolly calm:
〃I am backing Mr。 Hallowell in a company for which he is doing chemical research work。 We are hatching eggs; out of the shell; so to speak。 Also we are aging and rejuvenating arthropods and the like。 So far we have declared no dividends。 But we have hopes。〃
She gave a hysterical sob of relief。 〃Then it's only businessnot the girl at all!〃
〃Oh; yes; it's the girl; too;〃 replied he。 〃She's an officer of the company。 In fact; it was to make a place for her that I went into the enterprise originally。〃 With an engaging air of frankness he inquired; 〃Anything more?〃
She was gazing soberly; almost somberly; into the fire。 〃You'll not be offended if I ask you one question?〃
〃Certainly not。〃
〃Is there anything between you andher?〃
〃You mean; am I having an affair with her?〃
She hung her head; but managed to make a slight nod of assent。
He laughed。 〃No。〃 He laughed again。 〃No not thus far; my dear。〃 He laughed a third time; with still stronger and stranger mockery。 〃She congratulated me on my engagement with a sincerity that would have piqued a man who was interested in her。〃
〃Will you forgive me?〃 Josephine said。 〃What I've just been feeling and saying and putting you throughit's beneath both of us。 I suppose a woman no womancan help being nasty where another woman is concerned。〃
With his satirical good…humored smile; 〃I don't in the least blame you。〃
〃And you'll not think less of me for giving way to a thing so vulgar?〃
He kissed her with a carelessness that made her wince But she felt that she deserved itand was grateful。 He said: 〃Why don't you go over and see for yourself? No doubt Tetlow gave you the address and no doubt you have remembered it。〃
She colored and hastily turned her head。 〃Don't punish me;〃 she pleaded。
〃Punish you? What nonsense! 。 。 。 Do you want me to take you over? The laboratory would interest youand Miss Hallowell is lovelier than ever。 She has an easier life now。 Office work wears on women terribly。〃
Josephine looked at him with a beautiful smile of love and trust。 〃You wish to be sure I'm cured。 Well; can't you see that I am?〃
〃I don't see why you should be。 I've said nothing one way or the other。〃
She laughed gayly。 〃You can't tempt me。 I'm really cured。 I think the only reason I had the attack was because Mr。 Tetlow so evidently believed he was speaking the truth。〃
〃No doubt he did think he was。 I'm sure; in the same circumstances; I'd think of anyone else just what he thinks of me。〃
〃Then why do you do it; Fred?〃 urged she with ill…concealed eagerness。 〃It isn't fair to the girl; is it?〃
〃No one but you and Tetlow knows I'm doing it。〃
〃You're mistaken there; dear。 Tetlow says a great many people down town are talking about itthat they say you go almost every day to Jersey City to see her。 He accuses you of having ruined her reputation。 He says she is quite innocent。 He blames the whole thing upon you。〃
Norman; standing with arms folded upon his broad chest; was gazing thoughtfully into the fire。
〃You don't mind my telling you these things?〃 she said anxiously。 〃Of course; I know they are lies〃
〃So everyone is talking about it;〃 interrupted he; so absorbed that he had not heard her。
〃You don't realize how conspicuous you are。〃
He shrugged his shoulders。 〃Well; it can't be helped。〃
〃You can't afford to be mixed up in a scandal;〃 she ventured; 〃or to injure a poor little creature I'm afraid you'll have toto stop it。〃
〃Stop it。〃 His eyes gleamed with mirth and something else。 〃It isn't my habit to heed gossip。〃
〃But think of HER; Fred!〃
He smiled ironically。 〃What a generous; thoughtful dear you are!〃 said he。
She blushed。 〃I'll admit I don't like it。 I'm not jealousbut I wish you weren't doing it。〃
〃So do I!〃 he exclaimed; with sudden ener