the dust-第29章

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〃I　saw　her　last　night；〃　replied　the　chief　clerk；　dropping　an　effort　at　concealing　his　dejection。　　〃She　she　turned　me　down。〃

〃Really？　　You？〃　Norman's　tone　of　sympathetic　surprise　would　not　have　deceived　half　attentive　ears。　But　Tetlow　was　securely　absorbed。　　〃Why；　Billy；　she　can't　hope　to　make　as　good　a　match。〃

〃That's　what　I　told　herwhen　I　saw　the　game　was　going　against　me。　　But　it　was　no　use。〃

Norman　trifled　nervously　with　the　papers　before　him。　　Presently　he　said；　〃Is　it　some　one　else？〃

Tetlow　shook　his　head。

〃How　do　you　know？〃

〃Because　she　said　so；〃　replied　the　head　clerk。

〃Ohif　she　said　so；　that　settles　it；〃　said　Norman　with　raillery。

〃She's　given　up　workthank　God；〃　pursued　Tetlow。　〃She's　getting　more　beautiful　all　the　time　Norman；　if　you　had　seen　her　last　night；　you'd　understand　why　I'm　stark　mad　about　her。〃

Norman's　eyes　were　down。　　His　hands；　the　muscles　of　his　jaw　were　clinched。

〃But；　I　mustn't　think　of　that；〃　Tetlow　went　on。　〃As　I　was　about　to　say；　if　she　were　to　stay　on　in　the　offices　some　onesome　attractive　man　like　you；　only　with　the　heart　of　a　scoundrel〃

Norman　laughed　cynically。

〃Yes；　a　scoundrel！〃　reiterated　the　fat　head…clerk。　〃Some　scoundrel　would　tempt　her　beyond　her　power　to　resist。　　Money　and　clothes　and　luxury　will　do　anything。　We　all　get　to　be　harlots　here　in　New　York。　　Some　of　us　know　it；　and　some　don't。　　But　we　all　look　it　and　act　it。　　And　she'd　go　the　way　of　the　restwith　or　without　marriage。　　It's　just　as　well　she　didn't　marry　me。　　I　know　what'd　have　become　of　her。〃

Norman　nodded。

Tetlow　gave　a　weary　sigh。　　〃Anyhow；　she's　safe　at　home　with　her　father。　　He's　found　a　backer　for　his　experiments。〃

〃That's　good；〃　said　Norman。

〃You　can　spare　me　for　ten　days；〃　Tetlow　went　on。　　〃I'd　be　of　no　use　if　I　stayed。〃

There　was　a　depth　of　misery　in　his　kind　gray　eyes　that　moved　Norman　to　get　up　and　lay　a　friendly　hand　on　his　shoulder。　　〃It's　the　best　thing；　old　man。　　She　wasn't　for　you。〃

Tetlow　dropped　into　a　chair　and　sobbed。　　〃It　has　killed　me；〃　he　groaned。　　〃I　don't　mean　I'll　commit　suicide　or　die。　　I　mean　I'm　dead　insidedead。〃

〃Oh；　come；　Billywhere's　your　good　sense？〃

〃I　know　what　I'm　talking　about；〃　said　he。　〃Norman；　God　help　the　man　who　meets　the　woman　he　really　wantsGod　help　him　if　she　doesn't　want　him。　　You　don't　understand。　　You'll　never　have　the　experience。　Any　woman　you　wanted　would　be　sure　to　want　you。〃

Norman；　his　hand　still　on　Tetlow's　shoulder；　was　staring　ahead　with　a　terrible　expression　upon　his　strong　features。

〃If　she　could　see　the　inside　of　methe　part　that's　the　real　meI　think　she　would　love　meor　learn　to　love　me。　　But　she　can　only　see　the　outsidethis　homely　face　and　body　of　mine。　　It's　horrible；　Fredto　have　a　mind　and　a　heart　fit　for　love　and　for　being　loved；　and　an　outside　that　repels　it。　　And　how　many　of　us　poor　devils　of　that　sort　there　aremen　and　women　both！〃

Norman　was　at　the　window　now；　his　back　to　the　room；　to　his　friend。　　After　a　while　Tetlow　rose　and　made　a　feeble　effort　to　straighten　himself。　　〃Is　it　all　right　about　the　vacation？〃　he　asked。

〃Certainly；〃　said　Norman；　without　turning。

〃Thank　you；　Fred。　　You're　a　good　friend。〃

〃I'll　see　you　before　you　go；〃　said　Norman；　still　facing　the　window。　　〃You'll　come　back　all　right。〃

Tetlow　did　not　answer。　　When　Norman　turned　he　was　alone。



IX


IN　no　way　was　Norman's　luck　superior　to　most　men's　more　splendidly　than　in　that　his　inborn　tendency　to　arrogant　and　extravagant　desires　was　matched　by　an　inborn　capacity　to　get　the　necessary　money。　　His　luxurious　tastes　were　certainly　not　moderated　by　his　associationsenormously　rich　people　who；　while　they　could　be　stingy　enough　in　some　respects；　at　the　same　time　could　and　did　fling　away　fortunes　in　gratifying　selfish　whimsfor　silly　showy　houses；　for　retinues　of　wasteful　servants；　for　gewgaws　that　accentuated　the　homeliness　of　their　homely　women　and　coarsened　and　vulgarized　their　pretty　womenor　perhaps　for　a　night's　gambling　or　entertaining；　or　for　the　forced　smiles　and　contemptuous　caresses　of　some　belle　of　the　other　world。　　Norman　fortunately　cared　not　at　all　for　the　hugely　expensive　pomp　of　the　life　of　the　rich；　if　he　had；　he　would　have　hopelessly　involved　himself；　as　after　all　he　was　not　a　money…grubber　but　a　lawyer。　　But　when　there　appeared　anything　for　which　he　did　care；　he　was　ready　to　bid　for　it　like　the　richest　of　the　rich。

Therefore　the　investment　of　a　few　thousand　dollars　seemed　a　small　matter　to　him。　　He　had　many　a　time　tossed　away　far　more　for　far　less。　　He　did　not　dole　out　the　sum　he　had　agreed　to　provide。　　He　paid　it　into　the　Jersey　City　bank　to　the　credit　of　the　Chemical　Research　Company　and　informed　its　secretary　and　treasurer　that　she　could　draw　freely　against　it。　　〃If　you　will　read　the　by…laws　of　the　company；〃　said　he；　〃you　will　see　that　you've　the　right　to　spend　exactly　as　you　see　fit。　　When　the　money　runs　low；　let　me　know。〃

〃I'll　be　very　careful；〃　said　Dorothea　Hallowell；　secretary　and　treasurer。

〃That's　precisely　what　we　don't　want；〃　replied　he。　He　glanced　round　the　tiny　parlor　of　the　cottage。　　〃We　want　everything　to　be　run　in　first…class　shape。　　That's　the　only　way　to　get　results。　　First　of　all；　you　must　take　a　proper　housea　good…sized　one；　with　large　groundsroom　for　building　your　father　a　proper　laboratory。〃

Her　dazed　and　dazzled　expression　delighted　him。

〃And　you　must　live　better。　　You　must　keep　at　least　two　servants。〃

〃But　we　can't　afford　it。〃

〃Your　father　has　five　thousand　a　year。　　You　have　fifteen　hundred。　　That　makes　sixty…five　hundred。　　The　rent　of　the　house　and　the　wages　and　keep　of　the　servants　are　a　charge　against　the　corporation。　　So；　you　can　well　afford　to　make　yourselves　comfortable。〃

〃I　haven't　got　used　to　the　idea　as　yet；〃　said　Dorothea。　　〃Yeswe　ARE　better　off　than　we　were。〃

〃And　you　must　live　better。　　I　want　you　to　get　some　clothesand　things　of　that　sort。〃

She　shrank　within　herself　and　sat　quiet；　her　gaze　fixed　upon　her　hands　lying　limp　in　her　lap。

〃There　is　no　reason　why　your　father　shouldn't　be　made　absolutely　comfortable　and　happy。　　That's　the　way　to　get　the　best　results　from　a　man　of　his　sort。〃

She　faded　on　toward　the　self…effacing　blank　he　had　first　known。

〃Think　it　out；　Dorothy；〃　he　said　in　his　frankest；　kindliest　way。　　〃You'll　see　I'm　right。〃

〃No；〃　she　said。

〃No？　　What　does　that　mean？〃

〃I've　an　instinct　against　it；〃　replied　she。　　〃I'd　rather　father　and　I　kept　on　as　we　are。〃

〃But　that's　impossible。　　You've　no　right　to　live　in　this　small；　cramping　way。　　You　must　broaden　out　and　give　HIM　room　to　grow。　。　。　。　　Isn't　that　sensible？　〃

〃It　sounds　so；〃　she　admitted。　　〃But〃　　She　gazed　round　helplessly〃I'm　afraid！〃

〃Afraid　of　what？〃

〃I　don't　know。〃

〃Then　don't　bother　about　it。〃

〃I'll　have　to　be　verycareful；〃　she　said　thoughtfully。

〃As　you　please；〃　replied　he。　　〃Only；　don't　live　and　think　on　a　ten…dollar…a…week　basis。　　That　isn't　the　way　to　get　on。〃

He　never　again　brought　up　the　matter　in　direct　form。　　But　most　of　his　conversation　was　indirect　and　more　or　less　subtle　suggestions　as　to　ways　of　branching　out。　　She　moved　cautiously　for　a　few　days；　then　timidly　began　to　spend　money。

There　is　a　notion　widely　spread　abroad　that　people　who　have　little　money　know　more　about　the　art　of　spending　money　and　the　science　of　economizing　than　those　who　have　much。　　It　would　be　about　as　sensible　to　say　that　the　best　swimmers　are　those　who　have　never　been　near　the　water；　or　no　nearer　than　a　bath　tub。　　Anyone　wishing　to　be　convinced　need　only　make　an　excursion　into　the　poor　tenement　district　and　observe　the　garbage　barrels　overflowing　with　spoiled　foodor　the　trashy　goods　exposed　for　sale　in　the　shops　and　the　markets。　Those　who　have　had　money　and　have　lost　it　are　probably；　as　a　rule；　the　wisest　in　thrift。　　Those　who　have　never　had　money　are　almost　invariably　prodigal　because　they　are　ignorant。　　When　Dorothea　Hallowell　was　a　baby　the　family　had　had　money。　　But　never　since　she　could　remember　had　they　been　anything　but　poor。

She　did　not　know　how　to　spend　money。　　She　did　not　know　prices　or　valuesbeing　in　that　respect　precisely　like　the　mass　of　mankindand　womankindwho　imagine　they　are　economical　because　they　hunt　so…called　bargains　and　haggle　w