the dust-第20章

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　what　they　must　be　revealing。

She　rose。　　He　made　a　gesture　of　protest。　　〃Won't　you　sing　another？〃　he　asked。

〃Not　after　that；〃　she　said。　　〃It's　the　best　I　know。　It　has　put　me　out　of　the　mood　for　the　ordinary　songs。〃

〃You　are　a　dreameraren't　you？〃

〃That's　my　real　life；〃　replied　she。　　〃I　go　through　the　other　part　just　to　get　to　the　dreams。〃

〃What　do　you　dream？〃

She　laughed　carelessly。　　〃Oh；　you'd　not　be　interested。　　It　would　seem　foolish　to　you。〃

〃You're　mistaken　there；〃　cried　he。　　〃The　only　thing　that　ever　has　interested　me　in　life　is　dreams　and　making　them　come　true。〃

〃But　not　MY　kind　of　dreams。　　The　only　kind　I　like　are　the　ones　that　couldn't　possibly　come　true。〃

〃There　isn't　any　dream　that　can't　be　made　to　come　true。〃

She　looked　at　him　eagerly。　　〃You　think　so？〃

〃The　wildest　ones　are　often　the　easiest。〃　　He　had　a　moving　voice　himself；　and　it　had　been　known　to　affect　listening　ears　hypnotically　when　he　was　deeply　in　earnest；　was　possessed　by　one　of　those　desires　that　conquer　men　of　will　and　then　make　them　irresistible　instruments。　〃What　is　your　dream？happiness？　。　。　。　love？〃

She　gazed　past　him　with　swimming　eyes；　with　a　glance　that　seemed　like　a　brave　bright　bird　exploring　infinity。　　〃Yes；〃　she　said　under　her　breath。　　〃But　it　could　nevernever　come　true。　　It's　too　perfect。〃

〃Don't　doubt；〃　he　said；　in　a　tone　that　fitted　her　mood　as　the　rhythm　of　the　cradle　fits　the　gentle　breathing　of　the　sleeping　child。　　〃Don't　ever　doubt。　　And　the　dream　will　come　true。〃

〃You　have　been　in　love？〃　she　said；　under　the　spell　of　his　look　and　tone。

He　nodded　slowly。　　〃I　am；〃　he　replied；　and　he　was　under　the　spell　of　her　beauty。

〃Is　itwonderful？〃

〃Like　nothing　else　on　earth。　　Everything　else　seems　poor　and　cheapbeside　it。〃

He　drew　a　step　nearer。　　〃But　you　couldn't　love　not　yet；〃　he　said。　　〃You　haven't　had　the　experience。　You　will　have　to　learn。〃

〃You　don't　know　me；〃　she　cried。　　〃I　have　been　teaching　myself　ever　since　I　was　a　little　girl。　　I've　thought　of　nothing　else　most　of　the　time。　　Oh〃　she　clasped　her　white　hands　against　her　small　bosom〃if　I　ever　have　the　chance；　how　much　I　shall　give！〃

〃I　know　it！　　I　know　it！〃　he　replied。　　〃You　will　make　some　man　happier　than　ever　man　was　before。〃　His　infatuation　did　not　blind　him　to　the　fact　that　she　cared　nothing　about　him；　looked　on　him　in　the　most　unpersonal　way。　　But　that　knowledge　seemed　only　to　inflame　him　the　more；　to　lash　him　on　to　the　folly　of　an　ill…timed　declaration。　　〃I　have　felt　how　much　you　will　givehow　much　you　will　loveI've　felt　it　from　the　second　time　I　saw　youperhaps　from　the　first。　　I've　never　seen　any　woman　who　interested　me　as　you　do　who　drew　me　as　you　doagainst　my　ambitionagainst　my　will。　　II〃

He　had　been　fighting　against　the　words　that　would　come　in　spite　of　him。　　He　halted　now　because　the　food　of　emotion　suffocated　speech。　　He　stood　before　her；　ghastly　pale　and　trembling。　　She　did　not　draw　back。　She　seemed　compelled　by　his　will；　by　the　force　of　his　passion；　to　stay　where　she　was。　　But　in　her　eyes　was　a　fascinated　terrora　fear　of　himof　the　passion　that　dominated　him；　a　passion　like　the　devils　that　made　men　gash　themselves　and　leap　from　precipices　into　the　sea。　To　unaccustomed　eyes　the　first　sight　of　passion　is　always　terrifying　and　is　usually　repellent。　　One　must　learn　to　adventure　the　big　wave；　the　great　hissing；　towering　billow　that　conceals　behind　its　menace　the　wild　rapture　of　infinite　longing　realized。

〃I　have　frightened　you？〃　he　said。

〃Yes；〃　was　her　whispered　reply。

〃But　it　is　your　dream　come　true。〃

She　shrank　backnot　in　aversion；　but　gently。　　〃No　it　isn't　my　dream；〃　she　replied。

〃You　don't　realize　it　yet；　but　you　will。〃

She　shook　her　head　positively。　　〃I　couldn't　ever　think　of　you　in　that　way。〃

He　did　not　need　to　ask　why。　　She　had　already　explained　when　they　were　talking　of　Tetlow。　　There　was　a　finality　in　her　tone　that　filled　him　with　despair。　　It　was　his　turn　to　look　at　her　in　terror。　　What　power　this　slim　delicate　girl　had　over　him！　　What　a　price　she　could　exact　if　she　but　knew！　　Knew？　　Why；　he　had　told　herwas　telling　her　in　look　and　tone　and　gesture　was　giving　himself　frankly　into　captivitywas　prostrate；　inviting　her　to　trample。　　His　only　hope　of　escape　lay　in　her　inexperiencethat　she　would　not　realize。　　In　the　insanities　of　passion；　as　in　some　other　forms　of　dementia；　there　is　always　left　a　streak　of　reasonof　that　craft　which　leads　us　to　try　to　get　what　we　want　as　cheaply　as　possible。　　Men；　all　but　beside　themselves　with　love；　will　bargain　over　the　terms；　if　they　be　of　the　bargaining　kind　by　nature。　　Norman　was　not　a　haggler。　But　common　prudence　was　telling　him　how　unwise　his　conduct　was；　how　he　was　inviting　the　defeat　of　his　own　purposes。

He　waved　his　hand　impatiently。　　〃We'll　see；　my　dear；〃　he　said　with　a　light　good…humored　laugh。　　〃I　mustn't　forget　that　I　came　to　see　your　father。〃

She　looked　at　him　doubtfully。　　She　did　not　understand　did　not　quite　likethis　abrupt　change　of　mood。　It　suggested　to　her　simplicity　a　lack　of　seriousness；　of　sincerity。　　〃Do　you　really　wish　to　see　my　father？〃　she　inquired。

〃Why　else　should　I　come　away　over　to　Jersey　City？　　Couldn't　I　have　talked　with　you　at　the　office？〃

This　seemed　convincing。　　She　continued　to　study　his　face　for　light　upon　the　real　character　of　this　strange　new　sort　of　man。　　He　regarded　her　with　a　friendly　humorous　twinkle　in　his　eyes。　　〃Then　I'll　take　you　to　him；〃　she　said　at　length。　　She　was　by　no　means　satisfied；　but　she　could　not　discover　why　she　was　dissatisfied。

〃I　can't　possibly　do　you　any　harm；〃　he　urged；　with　raillery。

〃No；　I　think　not；〃　replied　she　gravely。　　〃But　you　mustn't　say　those　things！〃

〃Why　not？〃　　Into　his　eyes　came　their　strongest；　most　penetrating　look。　　〃I　want　you。　　And　I　don't　intend　to　give　you　up。　　It　isn't　my　habit　to　give　up。　So；　sooner　or　later　I　get　what　I　go　after。〃

〃You　make　meafraid；〃　she　said　nervously。

〃Of　what？〃　laughed　he。　　〃Not　of　me；　certainly。　Then　it　must　be　of　yourself。　　You　are　afraid　you　will　end　by　wanting　me　to　want　you。〃

〃Nonot　that；〃　declared　she；　confused　by　his　quick　cleverness　of　speech。　　〃I　don't　know　what　I'm　afraid　of。〃

〃Then　let's　go　to　your　father。　。　。　。　　You'll　not　tell　Tetlow　what　I've　said？〃

〃No。〃　　And　once　more　her　simple　negation　gave　him　a　sense　of　her　absolute　truthfulness。

〃Or　that　I've　been　here？〃

She　looked　astonished。　　〃Why　not？〃

〃Ohoffice　reasons。　　It　wouldn't　do　for　the　others　to　know。〃

She　reflected　on　this。　　〃I　don't　understand；〃　was　the　result　of　her　thinking。　　〃But　I'll　do　as　you　ask。　Only；　you　must　not　come　again。〃

〃Why　not？　　If　they　knew　at　the　office；　they'd　simply　talkunpleasantly。〃

〃Yes；〃　she　admitted　hesitatingly　after　reflecting。　〃So　you　mustn't　come　again。　　I　don't　like　some　kinds　of　secrets。〃

〃But　your　father　will　know；〃　he　urged。　　〃Isn't　that　enough　forfor　propriety？〃

〃I　can't　explain。　　I　don't　understand；　myself。　　I　do　a　lot　of　things　by　instinct。〃　　She；　standing　with　her　hands　behind　her　back　and　with　clear；　childlike　eyes　gravely　upon　him；　looked　puzzled　but　resolved。　　〃And　my　instinct　tells　me　not　to　do　anything　secret　about　you。〃

This　answer　made　him　wonder　whether　after　all　he　might　not　be　too　positive　in　his　derisive　disbelief　in　women's　instincts。　　He　laughed。　　〃Wellnow　for　your　father。〃

The　workshop　proved　to　be　an　annex　to　the　rear；　reached　by　a　passage　leading　past　a　cosy　little　dining　room　and　a　kitchen　where　the　order　and　the　shine　of　cleanness　were　notable　even　to　masculine　eyes。　　〃You　are　well　taken　care　of；〃　he　said　to　hershe　was　preceding　him　to　show　the　way。

〃We　take　care　of　ourselves；〃　replied　she。　　〃I　get　breakfast　before　I　leave　and　supper　after　I　come　home。　Father　has　a　cold　lunch　in　the　middle　of　the　day；　when　he　eats　at　allwhich　isn't　often。　　And　on　Saturday　afternoons　and　Sundays　I　do　the　heavy　work。〃

〃You　ARE　a　busy　lady！〃

〃Oh；　not　so　very　busy。　　Father　is　a　crank　about　system　and　order。　　He　has　taught　me　to　plan　everything　and　work　by　the　plans。〃

For　the　first　time　Norman　had　a　glimmer　of　real　interest　in　meeting　her　father。　　For　in　those　remarks　of　hers　he　recognized　at　once　the　rare　superior　man　the　man　who　works　by　plan；　where　the　masses　of　mankind　either　drift　helplessly