the dust-第17章
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erent match in mind。〃
〃What's the matter with you; Billy?〃 inquired Norman; inspecting him with smiling; cruelly unfriendly eyes。
〃I'm damned if I know; Norman;〃 said the head clerk; assuming that his friend was sympathetic and dropping into the informality of the old days when they were clerks together in a small firm。 〃I'd have proposed to her last night if I hadn't been afraid I'd lose her by being in such a hurry。 。 。 。 You're in love yourself。〃
Norman startled violently。
〃You're going to get married。 Probably you can sympathize。 You know how it is to meet the woman you want and must have。〃
Norman turned away。
〃I've hador thought I hadrather advanced ideas on the subject of women。 I've always had a horror of being married for a living or for a home or as an experiment or a springboard。 My notion's been that I wouldn't trust a woman who wasn't independent。 And theoretically I still think that's sound。 But it doesn't work out in practice。 A man has to have been in love to be able to speak the last word on the sex question。〃
Norman dropped heavily into his desk chair and rumpled his hair into disorder。 He muttered something the head clerk thought it was an oath。
〃I'd marry her;〃 Tetlow went on; 〃if I knew she was simply using me in the coldest; most calculating way。 My only fear is that I shan't be able to get her that she won't marry me。〃
Norman sneered。 〃That's not likely;〃 he said。
〃No; it isn't;〃 admitted Tetlow。 〃Theythe Hallowellsare nice peopleof as good family as there is。 But they're poorvery poor。 There's only her father and herself。 The old man is a scientistspends most of his time at things that won't pay a centutterly impractical。 A gentlemanan able man; if a little crackedat least he seemed so to me who don't know much about scientific matters。 But getting poorer steadily。 So I think she will accept me。〃
A gloomy; angry frown; like a black shadow; passed across Norman's face and disappeared。 〃You'd marry heron those terms?〃 he sneered。
〃Of course I HOPE for better terms〃
Norman sprang up; strode to the window and turned his back。
〃But I'm prepared for the worst。 The fact is; she treats me as if she didn't care a rap for the honor of my showing her attention。〃
〃A trick; Billy。 An old trick。〃
〃Maybe so。 But I really believe she doesn't realize。 She's queerhas been queerly brought up。 Yes; I think she doesn't appreciate。 Then; too; she's young and lightalmost childish in some ways。 。 。 。 I don't blame you for being disgusted with me; Fred。 But damn it; what's a man to do?〃
〃Cure himself!〃 exploded Norman; wheeling violently on his friend。 〃You must act like a man。 Billy; such a marriage is ruin for you。 How can we take you into partnership next year? When you marry; you must marry in the class you're moving toward; not in any of those you're leaving behind。〃
〃Do you suppose I haven't thought of all that?〃 rejoined Tetlow bitterly。 〃But I can't help myself。 It's useless for me to say I'll try。 I shan't try。〃
〃Don't you want to get over this?〃 demanded Norman fiercely。
〃Of course NoI don't。 Fred; you'd think better of me if you knew her。 You've never especially noticed her。 She's beautiful。〃
Norman dropped to his chair again。
〃Reallybeautiful;〃 protested Tetlow; assuming that the gesture was one of disgusted denial。 〃Take a good look at her; Norman; before you condemn her。 I never was so astonished as when I discovered how good…looking she is。 I don't quite know how it is; but I suppose nobody ever happened to see howhow lovely she is until I just chanced to see it。〃 At a rudely abrupt gesture from Norman he hurried on; eagerly apologetic; 〃And if you talk with her She's very reserved。 But she's the lady through and through and has a good mind。 。 。 。 At least; I think she has。 I'll admit a man in love is a poor judge of a woman's mind。 But; anyhow; I KNOW she's lovely to look at。 You'll see it yourself; now that I've called your attention to it。 You can't fail to see it。〃
Norman threw himself back in his chair and clasped his hands behind his head。 〃WHY do you want to marry her?〃 he inquired; in a tone his sensitive ear approved as judicial。
〃How can I tell?〃 replied the head clerk irritably。 〃Does a man ever know?〃
〃Alwayswhen he's sensibly in love。〃
〃But when he's just in love? That's what ails me;〃 retorted Tetlow; with a sheepish look and laugh。
〃Billy; you've got to get over this。 I can't let you make a fool of yourself。〃
Tetlow's fat; smooth; pasty face of the overfed; underexercised professional man became a curious exhibit of alarm and obstinacy。
〃You've got to promise me you'll keep away from herexcept at the officefor say; a week。 Then we'll see。〃
Tetlow debated。
〃It's highly improbable that anyone else will discover these irresistible charms。 There's no one else hanging round?〃
〃No one; as I told you the other day; when you questioned me about her。〃
Norman shifted; looked embarrassed。
〃I hope I didn't give you the impression I was ashamed of loving her or would ever be ashamed of her anywhere?〃 continued Tetlow; a very loverlike light in his usually unromantic eyes。 〃If I did; it wasn't what I meantfar from it。 You'll see; when I marry her; Norman。 You'll be congratulating me。〃
Norman sprang up again。 〃This is plain lunacy; Tetlow。 I am amazed at youamazed!〃
〃Get acquainted with her; Mr。 Norman;〃 pleaded the subordinate。 〃Do it; to oblige me。 Don't condemn us〃
〃I wish to hear nothing more!〃 cried Norman violently。 〃Another thing。 You must find her a place in some other officeat once。〃
〃You're right; sir;〃 assented Tetlow。 〃I can readily do that。〃
Norman scowled at him; made an imperious gesture of dismissal。 Tetlow; chopfallen but obdurate; got himself speedily out of sight。
Norman; with hands deep in his pockets; stared out among the skyscrapers and gave way to a fit of remorse。 It was foreign to his nature to do petty underhanded tricks。 Grand strategyyes。 At that he was an adept; and not the shiftiest; craftiest schemes he had ever devised had given him a moment's uneasiness。 But to be driving a ten…dollar…a…week typewriter out of her job to be maneuvering to deprive her of a for her brilliant marriageto be lying to an old and loyal retainer who had helped Norman full as much and as often as Norman had helped himthese sneaking bits of skullduggery made him feel that he had sunk indeed。 But he ground his teeth together and his eyes gleamed wickedly。 〃He shan't have her; damn him!〃 he muttered。 〃She's not for him。〃
He summoned Tetlow; who was obviously low in mind as the result of revolving the things that had been said to him。 〃Billy;〃 he began in a tone so amiable that he was ashamed for himself; 〃you'll not forget I have your promise?〃
〃What did I promise?〃 cried Tetlow; his voice shrill with alarm。
〃Not to see her; except at the office; for a week。〃
〃But I've promised her father I'd call this evening。 He's going to show me some experiments。〃
〃You can easily make an excusebusiness。〃
〃But I don't want to;〃 protested the head clerk。 〃What's the use? I've got my mind made up。 Norman; I'd hang on after her if you fired me out of this office for it。 And I can't restI'm fit for nothing until this matter's settled。 I came very near taking her aside and proposing to her; just after I went out of here a while ago。〃
〃You DAMN fool!〃 cried Norman; losing all control of himself。 〃Take the afternoon express for Albany instead of Harcott and attend to those registrations and arrange for those hearings。 I'll do my best to save you。 I'll bring the girl in here and keep her at work until you get out of the way。〃
Tetlow glanced at his friend; then the tears came into his eyes。 〃You're a hell of a friend!〃 he ejaculated。 〃And I thought you'd sympathize because you were in love。〃
〃I do sympathize; Billy;〃 Norman replied with an abrupt change to shamefaced apology。 〃I sympathize more than you know。 I feel like a dog; doing this。 But it can't result in any harm; and I want you to get a little fresh air in that hot brain of yours before you commit yourself。 Be reasonable; old man。 Suppose you rushed ahead and