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him from his path; remembering also that genius is often but the 

〃capacity for taking infinite pains。〃



There are people so constituted that they cheerfully give the 

efforts of a lifetime to the attainment of a brilliant social 

position。  No fatigue is too great; and no snubs too bitter to be 

willingly undergone in pursuit of the cherished object。  You will 

never find such an individual; for instance; wandering in the 

flowery byways that lead to art or letters; for that would waste 

his time。  If his family are too hard to raise; he will abandon the 

attempt and rise without them; for he cannot help himself。  He is 

but an atom working as blindly upward as the plant that pushes its 

mysterious way towards the sun。  Brains are not necessary。  Good 

looks are but a trump the more in the 〃hand。〃  Manners may help; 

but are not essential。  The object can be and is attained daily 

without all three。  Wealth is but the oil that makes the machinery 

run more smoothly。  The all…important factor is the desire to 

succeed; so strong that it makes any price seem cheap; and that can 

pay itself by a step gained; for mortification and weariness and 

heart…burnings。



There; my dear; is the secret of success!  I stop because I feel 

myself becoming bitter; and that is a frame of mind to be carefully 

avoided; because it interferes with the digestion and upsets one's 

gentle calm!  I have tried to answer your question。  The answer 

resolves itself into these two things; that it is necessary to be 

born with qualities which you may not possess; and calls for 

sacrifices you would doubtless be unwilling to make。  It remains 

with you to decide if the little game is worth the candle。  The 

delightful common sense I feel quite sure you possess reassures me 

as to your answer。



Take gayly such good things as may float your way; and profit by 

them while they last。  Wander off into all the cross…roads that 

tempt you。  Stop often to lend a helping hand to a less fortunate 

traveller。  Rest in the heat of the day; as your spirit prompts 

you。  Sit down before the sunset and revel in its beauty and you 

will find your voyage through life much more satisfactory to look 

back to and full of far sweeter memories than if by sacrificing any 

of these pleasures you had attained the greatest of 〃positions。〃









CHAPTER 35 … Living on your Friends





THACKERAY devoted a chapter in 〃Vanity Fair〃 to the problem 〃How to 

Live Well on Nothing a Year。〃  It was neither a very new nor a very 

ingenious expedient that 〃Becky〃 resorted to when she discounted 

her husband's position and connection to fleece the tradespeople 

and cheat an old family servant out of a year's rent。  The author 

might more justly have used his clever phrase in describing 〃Major 

Pendennis's〃 agreeable existence。  We have made great progress in 

this; as in almost every other mode of living; in the latter half 

of the Victorian era; intelligent individuals of either sex; who 

know the ropes; can now as easily lead the existence of a multi…

millionaire (with as much satisfaction to themselves and their 

friends) as though the bank account; with all its attendant 

worries; stood in their own names。  This subject is so vast; its 

ramifications so far…reaching and complicated; that one hesitates 

before launching into an analysis of it。  It will be better simply 

to give a few interesting examples; and a general rule or two; for 

the enlightenment and guidance of ingenious souls。



Human nature changes little; all that our educational and social 

training has accomplished is a smoothing of the surface。  One of 

the most striking proofs of this is; that here in our primitive 

country; as soon as accumulation of capital allowed certain 

families to live in great luxury; they returned to the ways of 

older aristocracies; and; with other wants; felt the necessity of a 

court about them; ladies and gentlemen in waiting; pages and 

jesters。  Nature abhors a vacuum; so a class of people immediately 

felt an irresistible impulse to rush in and fill the void。  Our 

aristocrats were not even obliged to send abroad to fill these 

vacancies; as they were for their footmen and butlers; the native 

article was quite ready and willing and; considering the little 

practice it could have had; proved wonderfully adapted to the work。



When the mania for building immense country houses and yachts (the 

owning of opera boxes goes a little further back) first attacked 

this country; the builders imagined that; once completed; it would 

be the easiest; as well as the most delightful task to fill them 

with the pick of their friends; that they could get all the 

talented and agreeable people they wanted by simply making a sign。  

To their astonishment; they discovered that what appeared so simple 

was a difficult; as well as a thankless labor。  I remember asking a 

lady who had owned a 〃proscenium〃 at the old Academy; why she had 

decided not to take a box in the (then) new opera…house。



〃Because; having passed thirty years of my life inviting people to 

sit in my box; I intend now to rest。〃  It is very much the same 

thing with yachts。  A couple who had determined to go around the 

world; in their lately finished boat; were dumbfounded to find 

their invitations were not eagerly accepted。  After exhausting the 

small list of people they really wanted; they began with others 

indifferent to them; and even then filled out their number with 

difficulty。  A hostess who counts on a series of house parties 

through the autumn months; must begin early in the summer if she is 

to have the guests she desires。



It is just here that the 〃professional;〃 if I may be allowed to use 

such an expression; comes to the front。  He is always available。  

It is indifferent to him if he starts on a tour around the world or 

for a winter spree to Montreal。  He is always amusing; good…

humored; and can be counted on at the last moment to fill any 

vacant place; without being the least offended at the tardy 

invitation; for he belongs to the class who have discovered 〃how to 

live well on nothing a year。〃  Luxury is as the breath of his 

nostrils; but his means allow of little beyond necessities。  The 

temptation must be great when everything that he appreciates most 

(and cannot afford) is urged upon him。  We should not pose as too 

stern moralists; and throw stones at him; for there may enter more 

〃best French plate〃 into the composition of our own houses than we 

imagine。



It is here our epoch shows its improvement over earlier and cruder 

days。  At present no toad…eating is connected with the acceptance 

of hospitality; or; if occasionally a small 〃batrachian〃 is 

offered; it is so well disguised by an accomplished CHEF; and 

served on such exquisite old Dresden; that it slips down with very 

little effort。  Even this rarely occurs; unless the guest has 

allowed himself to become the inmate of a residence or yacht。  Then 

he takes his chance with other members of the household; and if the 

host or hostess happens to have a bad temper as a set…off to their 

good table; it is apt to fare ill with our friend。



So far; I have spoken of this class in the masculine; which is an 

error; as the art is successfully practised by the weaker sex; with 

this shade of difference。  As an unmarried woman is in less general 

demand; she is apt to attach herself to one dear friend; always 

sure to be a lady in possession of fine country and city houses and 

other appurtenances of wealth; often of inferior social standing; 

so that there is give and take; the guest rendering real service to 

an ambitious hostess。  The feminine aspirant need not be handsome。  

On the contrary; an agreeable plainness is much more acceptable; 

serving as a foil。  But she must be excellent in all games; from 

golf to piquet; and willing to play as often and as long as 

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