worldly ways and byways-第40章
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They must be presented; nothing else will content them。 If you are
chatting with a friend you feel a pull at your sleeve; and in an
audible aside; they ask for an introduction。 The aspirant will
then bring up and present the members of his family who happen to
be near。 After that he seems to be at ease; and having absolutely
nothing to say will soon drift off。 Our public men suffer terribly
from promiscuous introductions; it is a part of a political career;
a good memory for names and faces and a cordial manner under fire
have often gone a long way in floating a statesman on to success。
Demand; we are told; creates supply。 During a short stay in a
Florida hotel last winter; I noticed a curious little man who
looked like a cross between a waiter and a musician。 As he spoke
to me several times and seemed very officious; I asked who he was。
The answer was so grotesque that I could not believe my ears。 I
was told that he held the position of official 〃introducer;〃 or
master of ceremonies; and that the guests under his guidance became
known to each other; danced; rode; and married to their own and
doubtless to his satisfaction。 The further west one goes the more
pronounced this mania becomes。 Everybody is introduced to
everybody on all imaginable occasions。 If a man asks you to take a
drink; he presents you to the bar…tender。 If he takes you for a
drive; the cab…driver is introduced。 〃Boots〃 makes you acquainted
with the chambermaid; and the hotel proprietor unites you in the
bonds of friendship with the clerk at the desk。 Intercourse with
one's fellows becomes one long debauch of introduction。 In this
country where every liberty is respected; it is a curious fact that
we should be denied the most important of all rights; that of
choosing our acquaintances。
CHAPTER 34 … A Question and an Answer
DEAR IDLER:
I HAVE been reading your articles in The Evening Post。 They are
really most amusing! You do know such a lot about people and
things; that I am tempted to write and ask you a question on a
subject that is puzzling me。 What is it that is necessary to
succeed … socially? There! It is out! Please do not laugh at me。
Such funny people get on and such clever; agreeable ones fail; that
I am all at sea。 Now do be nice and answer me; and you will have a
very grateful
ADMIRER。
The above note; in a rather juvenile feminine hand; and breathing a
faint perfume of VIOLETTE DE PARME; was part of the morning's mail
that I found lying on my desk a few days ago; in delightful
contrast to the bills and advertisements which formed the bulk of
my correspondence。 It would suppose a stoicism greater than I
possess; not to have felt a thrill of satisfaction in its perusal。
There was; then; some one who read with pleasure what I wrote; and
who had been moved to consult me on a question (evidently to her)
of importance。 I instantly decided to do my best for the
edification of my fair correspondent (for no doubt entered my head
that she was both young and fair); the more readily because that
very question had frequently presented itself to my own mind on
observing the very capricious choice of Dame 〃Fashion〃 in the
distribution of her favors。
That there are people who succeed brilliantly and move from success
to success; amid an applauding crowd of friends and admirers; while
others; apparently their superiors in every way; are distanced in
the race; is an undeniable fact。 You have but to glance around the
circle of your acquaintances and relations to be convinced of this
anomaly。 To a reflecting mind the question immediately presents
itself; Why is this? General society is certainly cultivated
enough to appreciate intelligence and superior endowments。 How
then does it happen that the social favorites are so often lacking
in the qualities which at a first glance would seem indispensable
to success?
Before going any further let us stop a moment; and look at the
subject from another side; for it is more serious than appears to
be on the surface。 To be loved by those around us; to stand well
in the world; is certainly the most legitimate as well as the most
common of ambitions; as well as the incentive to most of the
industry and perseverance in life。 Aside from science; which is
sometimes followed for itself alone; and virtue; which we are told
looks for no other reward; the hope which inspires a great deal of
the persistent efforts we see; is generally that of raising one's
self and those one loves by one's efforts into a sphere higher than
where cruel fate had placed them; that they; too; may take their
place in the sunshine and enjoy the good things of life。 This
ambition is often purely disinterested; a life of hardest toil is
cheerfully borne; with the hope (for sole consolation) that dear
ones will profit later by all the work; and live in a circle the
patient toiler never dreams of entering。 Surely he is a stern
moralist who would deny this satisfaction to the breadwinner of a
family。
There are doubtless many higher motives in life; more elevated
goals toward which struggling humanity should strive。 If you
examine the average mind; however; you will be pretty sure to find
that success is the touchstone by which we judge our fellows and
what; in our hearts; we admire the most。 That is not to be
wondered at; either; for we have done all we can to implant it
there。 From a child's first opening thought; it is impressed upon
him that the great object of existence is to succeed。 Did a parent
ever tell a child to try and stand last in his class? And yet
humility is a virtue we admire in the abstract。 Are any of us
willing to step aside and see our inferiors pass us in the race?
That is too much to ask of poor humanity。 Were other and higher
standards to be accepted; the structure of civilization as it
exists to…day would crumble away and the great machine run down。
In returning to my correspondent and her perfectly legitimate
desire to know the road to success; we must realize that to a large
part of the world social success is the only kind they understand。
The great inventors and benefactors of mankind live too far away on
a plane by themselves to be the object of jealousy to any but a
very small circle; on the other hand; in these days of equality;
especially in this country where caste has never existed; the
social world seems to hold out alluring and tangible gifts to him
who can enter its enchanted portals。 Even politics; to judge by
the actions of some of our legislators; of late; would seem to be
only a stepping…stone to its door!
〃But my question;〃 I hear my fair interlocutor saying。 〃You are
not answering it!〃
All in good time; my dear。 I am just about to do so。 Did you ever
hear of Darwin and his theory of 〃selection?〃 It would be a slight
to your intelligence not to take it for granted that you had。
Well; my observations in the world lead me to believe that we
follow there unconsciously; the same rules that guide the wild
beasts in the forest。 Certain individuals are endowed by nature
with temperaments which make them take naturally to a social life
and shine there。 In it they find their natural element。 They
develop freely just where others shrivel up and disappear。 There
is continually going on unseen a 〃natural selection;〃 the
discarding of unfit material; the assimilation of new and congenial
elements from outside; with the logical result of a survival of the
fittest。 Aside from this; you will find in 〃the world;〃 as
anywhere else; that the person who succeeds is generally he who has
been willing to give the most of his strength and mind to that one
object; and has not allowed the flowers on the hillside to distract
him from his path; remembering also