worldly ways and byways-第25章

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board　war　to　a　close。　　If　a　woman　is　attractive；　she　will　be　asked　

out　all　the　same；　never　fear！　　If　she　is　not　popular；　the　few　dozen　

of　〃egg…shell　extra〃　that　she　can　manage　to　slip　in　at　the　front　

doors　of　her　acquaintances　will　not　help　her　much。



If　this　matter　is；　however；　so　vastly　important　in　women's　eyes；　

why　not　adopt　the　continental　and　diplomatic　custom　and　send　cards　

by　post　or　otherwise？　　There；　if　a　new…comer　dines　out　and　meets　

twenty…five　people　for　the　first　time；　cards　must　be　left　the　next　

day　at　their　twenty…five　respective　residences。　　How　the　cards　get　

there　is　of　no　importance。　　It　is　a　diplomatic　fiction　that　the　new　

acquaintance　has　called　in　person；　and　the　call　will　be　returned　

within　twenty…four　hours。　　Think　of　the　saving　of　time　and　

strength！　　In　Paris；　on　New　Year's　Day；　people　send　cards　by　post　

to　everybody　they　wish　to　keep　up。　　That　does　for　a　year；　and　no　

more　is　thought　about　it。　　All　the　time　thus　gained　can　be　given　to　

culture　or　recreation。



I　have　often　wondered　why　one　sees　so　few　women　one　knows　at　our　

picture　exhibitions　or　flower　shows。　　It　is　no　longer　a　mystery　to　

me。　　They　are　all　busy　trotting　up　and　down　our　long　side　streets　

leaving　cards。　　Hideous　vision！　　Should　Dante　by　any　chance　

reincarnate；　he　would　find　here　the　material　ready　made　to　his　hand　

for　an　eighth　circle　in　his　INFERNO。









CHAPTER　21　…　〃Like　Master　Like　Man。〃





A　FREQUENT　and　naive　complaint　one　hears；　is　of　the　

unsatisfactoriness　of　servants　generally；　and　their　ingratitude　and　

astonishing　lack　of　affection　for　their　masters；　in　particular。　　

〃After　all　I　have　done　for　them；〃　is　pretty　sure　to　sum　up　the　long　

tale　of　a　housewife's　griefs。　　Of　all　the　delightful　

inconsistencies　that　grace　the　female　mind；　this　latter　point　of　

view　always　strikes　me　as　being　the　most　complete。　　I　artfully　lead　

my　fair　friend　on　to　tell　me　all　about　her　woes；　and　she　is　sure　to　

be　exquisitely　one…sided　and　quite　unconscious　of　her　position。　　

〃They　are　so　extravagant；　take　so　little　interest　in　my　things；　and　

leave　me　at　a　moment's　notice；　if　they　get　an　idea　I　am　going　to　

break　up。　　Horrid　things！　　I　wish　I　could　do　without　them！　　They　

cause　me　endless　worry　and　annoyance。〃　　My　friend　is　very　nearly　

right；　…　but　with　whom　lies　the　fault？



The　conditions　were　bad　enough　years　ago；　when　servants　were　kept　

for　decades　in　the　same　family；　descending　like　heirlooms　from　

father　to　son；　often　（abroad）　being　the　foster　sisters　or　brothers　

of　their　masters；　and　bound　to　the　household　by　an　hundred　ties　of　

sympathy　and　tradition。　　But　in　our　day；　and　in　America；　where　

there　is　rarely　even　a　common　language　or　nationality　to　form　a　

bond；　and　where　households　are　broken　up　with　such　facility；　the　

relation　between　master　and　servant　is　often　so　strained　and　so　

unpleasant　that　we　risk　becoming　（what　foreigners　reproach　us　with　

being）；　a　nation　of　hotel…dwellers。　　Nor　is　this　class…feeling　

greatly　to　be　wondered　at。　　The　contrary　would　be　astonishing。　　

From　the　primitive　household；　where　a　poor　neighbor　comes　in　as　

〃help；〃　to　the　〃great〃　establishment　where　the　butler　and　

housekeeper　eat　apart；　and　a　group　of　plush…clad　flunkies　imported　

from　England　adorn　the　entrance…hall；　nothing　could　be　better　

contrived　to　set　one　class　against　another　than　domestic　service。



Proverbs　have　grown　out　of　it　in　every　language。　　〃No　man　is　a　hero　

to　his　valet；〃　and　〃familiarity　breeds　contempt；〃　are　clear　enough。　　

Our　comic　papers　are　full　of　the　misunderstandings　and　absurdities　

of　the　situation；　while　one　rarely　sees　a　joke　made　about　the　other　

ways　that　the　poor　earn　their　living。　　Think　of　it　for　a　moment！　　

To　be　obliged　to　attend　people　at　the　times　of　day　when　they　are　

least　attractive；　when　from　fatigue　or　temper　they　drop　the　mask　

that　society　glues　to　their　faces　so　many　hours　in　the　twenty…four；　

to　see　always　the　seamy　side　of　life；　the　small　expedients；　the　

aids　to　nature；　to　stand　behind　a　chair　and　hear　an　acquaintance　of　

your　master's　ridiculed；　who　has　just　been　warmly　praised　to　his　

face；　to　see　a　hostess　who　has　been　graciously　urging　her　guests　

〃not　to　go　so　soon；〃　blurt　out　all　her　boredom　and　thankfulness　

〃that　those　tiresome　So…and…So's〃　are　〃paid　off　at　last；〃　as　soon　

as　the　door　is　closed　behind　them；　must　needs　give　a　curious　bent　

to　a　servant's　mind。　　They　see　their　employers　insincere；　and　copy　

them。　　Many　a　mistress　who　has　been　smilingly　assured　by　her　maid　

how　much　her　dress　becomes　her；　and　how　young　she　is　looking；　would　

be　thunderstruck　to　hear　herself　laughed　at　and　criticised　（none　

too　delicately）　five　minutes　later　in　that　servant's　talk。



Servants　are　trained　from　their　youth　up　to　conceal　their　true　

feelings。　　A　domestic　who　said　what　she　thought　would　quickly　lose　

her　place。　　Frankly；　is　it　not　asking　a　good　deal　to　expect　a　maid　

to　be　very　fond　of　a　lady　who　makes　her　sit　up　night　after　night　

until　the　small　hours　to　unlace　her　bodice　or　take　down　her　hair；　

or　imagine　a　valet　can　be　devoted　to　a　master　he　has　to　get　into　

bed　as　best　he　can　because　he　is　too　tipsy　to　get　there　unaided？　　

Immortal　〃Figaro〃　is　the　type！　　Supple；　liar；　corrupt；　intelligent；　

…　he　aids　his　master　and　laughs　at　him；　feathering　his　own　nest　the　

while。　　There　is　a　saying　that　〃horses　corrupt　whoever　lives　with　

them。〃　　It　would　be　more　correct　to　say　that　domestic　service　

demoralizes　alike　both　master　and　man。



Already　we　are　obliged　to　depend　on　immigration　for　our　servants　

because　an　American　revolts　from　the　false　position；　though　he　

willingly　accepts　longer　hours　or　harder　work　where　he　has　no　one　

around　him　but　his　equals。　　It　is　the　old　story　of　the　free；　hungry　

wolf；　and　the　well…fed；　but　chained；　house…dog。　　The　foreigners　

that　immigration　now　brings　us；　from　countries　where　great　class　

distinctions　exist；　find　it　natural　to　〃serve。〃　　With　the　increase　

in　education　and　consequent　self…respect；　the　difficulty　of　getting　

efficient　and　contented　servants　will　increase　with　us。　　It　has　

already　become　a　great　social　problem　in　England。　　The　trouble　lies　

beneath　the　surface。　　If　a　superior　class　accept　service　at　all；　it　

is　with　the　intention　of　quickly　getting　money　enough　to　do　

something　better。　　With　them　service　is　merely　the　means　to　an　end。　　

A　first　step　on　the　ladder！



Bad　masters　are　the　cause　of　so　much　suffering；　that　to　protect　

themselves；　the　great　brother…hood　of　servants　have　imagined　a　

system　of　keeping　run　of　〃places；〃　and　giving　them　a　〃character〃　

which　an　aspirant　can　find　out　with　little　trouble。　　This　

organization　is　so　complete；　and　so　well　carried　out；　that　a　

household　where　the　lady　has　a　〃temper；〃　where　the　food　is　poor；　or　

which　breaks　up　often；　can　rarely　get　a　first…class　domestic。　　The　

〃place〃　has　been　boycotted；　a　good　servant　will　sooner　remain　idle　

than　enter　it。　　If　circumstances　are　too　much　for　him　and　he　

accepts　the　situation；　it　is　with　his　eyes　open；　knowing　infinitely　

more　about　his　new　employers　and　their　failings　than　they　dream　of；　

or　than　they　could　possibly　find　out　about　him。



One　thing　never　can　be　sufficiently　impressed　on　people；　viz。：　that　

we　are　forced　to　live　with　detectives；　always　behind　us　in　caps　or　

dress…suits；　ready　to　note　every　careless　word；　every　incautious　

criticism　of　friend　or　acquaintance　…　their　money　matters　or　their　

love　affairs　…　and　who　have　nothing　more　interesting　to　do　than　to　

repeat　what　they　have　heard；　with　embroideries　and　additions　of　

their　own。　　Considering　this；　and　that　nine　people　out　of　ten　talk　

quite　oblivious　of　their　servants'　presence；　it　is　to　be　wondered　

at　that　so　little　（and　not　that　so　much）　trouble　is　made。



It　always　amuses　me　when　I　ask　a　friend　if　she　is　going　abroad　in　

the　spring；　to　have　her　say　〃Hush！〃　with　a　frightened　glance　

towards　the　doo