three men on the bummel-第43章
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〃Drei！〃 The glasses strike the table with a single crash； and we
are in our seats again。
The sport at the Kneipe is for two students to insult each other
（in play； of course）； and to then challenge each other to a
drinking duel。 An umpire is appointed； two huge glasses are
filled； and the men sit opposite each other with their hands upon
the handles； all eyes fixed upon them。 The umpire gives the word
to go； and in an instant the beer is gurgling down their throats。
The man who bangs his perfectly finished glass upon the table first
is victor。
Strangers who are going through a Kneipe； and who wish to do the
thing in German style； will do well； before commencing proceedings；
to pin their name and address upon their coats。 The German student
is courtesy itself； and whatever his own state may be； he will see
to it that； by some means or another； his guest gets safely home
before the morning。 But； of course； he cannot be expected to
remember addresses。
A story was told me of three guests to a Berlin Kneipe which might
have had tragic results。 The strangers determined to do the thing
thoroughly。 They explained their intention； and were applauded；
and each proceeded to write his address upon his card； and pin it
to the tablecloth in front of him。 That was the mistake they made。
They should； as I have advised； have pinned it carefully to their
coats。 A man may change his place at a table； quite unconsciously
he may come out the other side of it； but wherever he goes he takes
his coat with him。
Some time in the small hours； the chairman suggested that to make
things more comfortable for those still upright； all the gentlemen
unable to keep their heads off the table should be sent home。
Among those to whom the proceedings had become uninteresting were
the three Englishmen。 It was decided to put them into a cab in
charge of a comparatively speaking sober student； and return them。
Had they retained their original seats throughout the evening all
would have been well； but； unfortunately； they had gone walking
about； and which gentleman belonged to which card nobody knew
least of all the guests themselves。 In the then state of general
cheerfulness； this did not to anybody appear to much matter。 There
were three gentlemen and three addresses。 I suppose the idea was
that even if a mistake were made； the parties could be sorted out
in the morning。 Anyhow； the three gentlemen were put into a cab；
the comparatively speaking sober student took the three cards in
his hand； and the party started amid the cheers and good wishes of
the company。
There is this advantage about German beer： it does not make a man
drunk as the word drunk is understood in England。 There is nothing
objectionable about him； he is simply tired。 He does not want to
talk； he wants to be let alone； to go to sleep； it does not matter
whereanywhere。
The conductor of the party stopped his cab at the nearest address。
He took out his worst case； it was a natural instinct to get rid of
that first。 He and the cabman carried it upstairs； and rang the
bell of the Pension。 A sleepy porter answered it。 They carried
their burden in； and looked for a place to drop it。 A bedroom door
happened to be open； the room was empty； could anything be better？…
…they took it in there。 They relieved it of such things as came
off easily； and laid it in the bed。 This done； both men； pleased
with themselves； returned to the cab。
At the next address they stopped again。 This time； in answer to
their summons； a lady appeared； dressed in a tea gown； with a book
in her hand。 The German student looked at the top one of two cards
remaining in his hand； and enquired if he had the pleasure of
addressing Frau Y。 It happened that he had； though so far as any
pleasure was concerned that appeared to be entirely on his side。
He explained to Frau Y。 that the gentleman at that moment asleep
against the wall was her husband。 The reunion moved her to no
enthusiasm； she simply opened the bedroom door； and then walked
away。 The cabman and the student took him in； and laid him on the
bed。 They did not trouble to undress him； they were feeling tired！
They did not see the lady of the house again； and retired therefore
without adieus。
The last card was that of a bachelor stopping at an hotel。 They
took their last man； therefore； to that hotel； passed him over to
the night porter； and left him。
To return to the address at which the first delivery was made； what
had happened there was this。 Some eight hours previously had said
Mr。 X。 to Mrs。 X。： 〃I think I told you； my dear； that I had an
invitation for this evening to what； I believe； is called a
Kneipe？〃
〃You did mention something of the sort；〃 replied Mrs。 X。 〃What is
a Kneipe？〃
〃Well； it's a sort of bachelor party； my dear； where the students
meet to sing and talk andand smoke； and all that sort of thing；
you know。〃
〃Oh； well； I hope you will enjoy yourself！〃 said Mrs。 X。； who was a
nice woman and sensible。
〃It will be interesting；〃 observed Mr。 X。 〃I have often had a
curiosity to see one。 I may；〃 continued Mr。 X。；〃I mean it is
possible； that I may be home a little late。〃
〃What do you call late？〃 asked Mrs。 X。
〃It is somewhat difficult to say；〃 returned Mr。 X。 〃You see these
students； they are a wild lot； and when they get togetherAnd
then； I believe； a good many toasts are drunk。 I don't know how it
will affect me。 If I can see an opportunity I shall come away
early； that is if I can do so without giving offence； but if not〃
Said Mrs。 X。； who； as I remarked before； was a sensible woman：
〃You had better get the people here to lend you a latchkey。 I
shall sleep with Dolly； and then you won't disturb me whatever time
it may be。〃
〃I think that an excellent idea of yours；〃 agreed Mr。 X。 〃I should
hate disturbing you。 I shall just come in quietly； and slip into
bed。〃
Some time in the middle of the night； or maybe towards the early
morning； Dolly； who was Mrs。 X。's sister； sat up in bed and
listened。
〃Jenny；〃 said Dolly； 〃are you awake？〃
〃Yes； dear；〃 answered Mrs。 X。 〃It's all right。 You go to sleep
again。〃
〃But whatever is it？〃 asked Dolly。 〃Do you think it's fire？〃
〃I expect；〃 replied Mrs。 X。； 〃that it's Percy。 Very possibly he
has stumbled over something in the dark。 Don't you worry； dear；
you go to sleep。〃
But so soon as Dolly had dozed off again； Mrs。 X。； who was a good
wife； thought she would steal off softly and see to it that Percy
was all right。 So； putting on a dressing…gown and slippers； she
crept along the passage and into her own room。 To awake the
gentleman on the bed would have required an earthquake。 She lit a
candle and stole over to the bedside。
It was not Percy； it was not anyone like Percy。 She felt it was
not the man that ever could have been her husband； under any
circumstances。 In his present condition her sentiment towards him
was that of positive dislike。 Her only desire was to get rid of
him。
But something there was about him which seemed familiar to her。
She went nearer； and took a closer view。 Then she remembered。
Surely it was Mr。 Y。； a gentleman at whose flat she and Percy had
dined the day they first arrived in Berlin。
But what was he doing here？ She put the candle on the table； and
taking her head between her hands sat down to think。 The
explanation of the thing came to her with a rush。 It was with this
Mr。 Y。 that Percy had gone to the Kneipe。 A mistake had been made。
Mr。 Y。 had been brought back to Percy's address。 Percy at this
very moment …
The terrible possibilities of the situation swam before her。
Returning to Dolly's room； she dressed herself hastily； and
silently crept downstairs。 Finding； fortunately； a passing night…
cab； she drove to the address of Mrs。 Y。 Telling the man to wait；
she flew upstairs and rang persistently at the bell。 It was opened
as before by Mrs。 Y。； still in her tea…gown； and with her book
still in her hand。
〃Mrs。 X。！〃 exclaimed Mrs。 Y。 〃Whatever brings you here？〃
〃My husband！〃 was all poor Mrs。 X。 could think to say at the
moment； 〃is he here？〃
〃Mrs。 X。；〃 returned Mrs
