three men on the bummel-第36章

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a　case　on　all　fours　with　that　Prague　statue。　　Possibly；　the
authorities　hereabout　have　had　made　some　life…sized　models　of　that
village；　and　have　stuck　them　about　the　Forest　to　see　where　the
thing　would　look　best。　　Anyhow；　which　way　do　we　go　now？〃

〃I　don't　know；〃　said　Harris；　〃and　I　don't　care。　　I　have　done　my
best；　you've　done　nothing　but　grumble；　and　confuse　me。〃

〃I　may　have　been　critical；〃　admitted　George　〃but　look　at　the　thing
from　my　point　of　view。　　One　of　you　says　he's　got　an　instinct；　and
leads　me　to　a　wasps'　nest　in　the　middle　of　a　wood。〃

〃I　can't　help　wasps　building　in　a　wood；〃　I　replied。

〃I　don't　say　you　can；〃　answered　George。　　〃I　am　not　arguing；　I　am
merely　stating　incontrovertible　facts。　　The　other　one；　who　leads　me
up　and　down　hill　for　hours　on　scientific　principles；　doesn't　know
the　north　from　the　south；　and　is　never　quite　sure　whether　he's
turned　round　or　whether　he　hasn't。　　Personally；　I　profess　to　no
instincts　beyond　the　ordinary；　nor　am　I　a　scientist。　　But　two
fields　off　I　can　see　a　man。　　I　am　going　to　offer　him　the　worth　of
the　hay　he　is　cutting；　which　I　estimate　at　one　mark　fifty　pfennig；
to　leave　his　work；　and　lead　me　to　within　sight　of　Todtmoos。　　If　you
two　fellows　like　to　follow；　you　can。　　If　not；　you　can　start　another
system　and　work　it　out　by　yourselves。〃

George's　plan　lacked　both　originality　and　aplomb；　but　at　the　moment
it　appealed　to　us。　　Fortunately；　we　had　worked　round　to　a　very
short　distance　away　from　the　spot　where　we　had　originally　gone
wrong；　with　the　result　that；　aided　by　the　gentleman　of　the　scythe；
we　recovered　the　road；　and　reached　Todtmoos　four　hours　later　than
we　had　calculated　to　reach　it；　with　an　appetite　that　took　forty…
five　minutes'　steady　work　in　silence　to　abate。

From　Todtmoos　we　had　intended　to　walk　down　to　the　Rhine；　but　having
regard　to　our　extra　exertions　of　the　morning；　we　decided　to
promenade　in　a　carriage；　as　the　French　would　say：　　and　for　this
purpose　hired　a　picturesque…looking　vehicle；　drawn　by　a　horse　that
I　should　have　called　barrel…bodied　but　for　contrast　with　his
driver；　in　comparison　with　whom　he　was　angular。　　In　Germany　every
vehicle　is　arranged　for　a　pair　of　horses；　but　drawn　generally　by
one。　　This　gives　to　the　equipage　a　lop…sided　appearance；　according
to　our　notions；　but　it　is　held　here　to　indicate　style。　　The　idea　to
be　conveyed　is　that　you　usually　drive　a　pair　of　horses；　but　that
for　the　moment　you　have　mislaid　the　other　one。　　The　German　driver
is　not　what　we　should　call　a　first…class　whip。　　He　is　at　his　best
when　he　is　asleep。　　Then；　at　all　events；　he　is　harmless；　and　the
horse　being；　generally　speaking；　intelligent　and　experienced；
progress　under　these　conditions　is　comparatively　safe。　　If　in
Germany　they　could　only　train　the　horse　to　collect　the　money　at　the
end　of　the　journey；　there　would　be　no　need　for　a　coachman　at　all。
This　would　be　a　distinct　relief　to　the　passenger；　for　when　the
German　coachman　is　awake　and　not　cracking　his　whip　he　is　generally
occupied　in　getting　himself　into　trouble　or　out　of　it。　　He　is
better　at　the　former。　　Once　I　recollect　driving　down　a　steep　Black
Forest　hill　with　a　couple　of　ladies。　　It　was　one　of　those　roads
winding　corkscrew…wise　down　the　slope。　　The　hill　rose　at　an　angle
of　seventy…five　on　the　off…side；　and　fell　away　at　an　angle　of
seventy…five　on　the　near…side。　　We　were　proceeding　very
comfortably；　the　driver；　we　were　happy　to　notice；　with　his　eyes
shut；　when　suddenly　something；　a　bad　dream　or　indigestion；　awoke
him。　　He　seized　the　reins；　and；　by　an　adroit　movement；　pulled　the
near…side　horse　over　the　edge；　where　it　clung；　half　supported　by
the　traces。　　Our　driver　did　not　appear　in　the　least　annoyed　or
surprised；　both　horses；　I　also；　noticed；　seemed　equally　used　to　the
situation。　　We　got　out；　and　he　got　down。　　He　took　from　under　the
seat　a　huge　clasp…knife；　evidently　kept　there　for　the　purpose；　and
deftly　cut　the　traces。　　The　horse；　thus　released；　rolled　over　and
over　until　he　struck　the　road　again　some　fifty　feet　below。　　There
he　regained　his　feet　and　stood　waiting　for　us。　　We　re…entered　the
carriage　and　descended　with　the　single　horse　until　we　came　to　him。
There；　with　the　help　of　some　bits　of　string；　our　driver　harnessed
him　again；　and　we　continued　on　our　way。　　What　impressed　me　was　the
evident　accustomedness　of　both　driver　and　horses　to　this　method　of
working　down　a　hill。

Evidently　to　them　it　appeared　a　short　and　convenient　cut。　　I　should
not　have　been　surprised　had　the　man　suggested　our　strapping
ourselves　in；　and　then　rolling　over　and　over；　carriage　and　all；　to
the　bottom。

Another　peculiarity　of　the　German　coachman　is　that　he　never
attempts　to　pull　in　or　to　pull　up。　　He　regulates　his　rate　of　speed；
not　by　the　pace　of　the　horse；　but　by　manipulation　of　the　brake。
For　eight　miles　an　hour　he　puts　it　on　slightly；　so　that　it　only
scrapes　the　wheel；　producing　a　continuous　sound　as　of　the
sharpening　of　a　saw；　for　four　miles　an　hour　he　screws　it　down
harder；　and　you　travel　to　an　accompaniment　of　groans　and　shrieks；
suggestive　of　a　symphony　of　dying　pigs。　　When　he　desires　to　come　to
a　full　stop；　he　puts　it　on　to　its　full。　　If　his　brake　be　a　good
one；　he　calculates　he　can　stop　his　carriage；　unless　the　horse　be　an
extra　powerful　animal；　in　less　than　twice　its　own　length。　　Neither
the　German　driver　nor　the　German　horse　knows；　apparently；　that　you
can　stop　a　carriage　by　any　other　method。　　The　German　horse
continues　to　pull　with　his　full　strength　until　he　finds　it
impossible　to　move　the　vehicle　another　inch；　then　he　rests。　　Horses
of　other　countries　are　quite　willing　to　stop　when　the　idea　is
suggested　to　them。　　I　have　known　horses　content　to　go　even　quite
slowly。　　But　your　German　horse；　seemingly；　is　built　for　one
particular　speed；　and　is　unable　to　depart　from　it。　　I　am　stating
nothing　but　the　literal；　unadorned　truth；　when　I　say　I　have　seen　a
German　coachman；　with　the　reins　lying　loose　over　the　splash…board；
working　his　brake　with　both　hands；　in　terror　lest　he　would　not　be
in　time　to　avoid　a　collision。

At　Waldshut；　one　of　those　little　sixteenth…century　towns　through
which　the　Rhine　flows　during　its　earlier　course；　we　came　across
that　exceedingly　common　object　of　the　Continent：　　the　travelling
Briton　grieved　and　surprised　at　the　unacquaintance　of　the　foreigner
with　the　subtleties　of　the　English　language。　　When　we　entered　the
station　he　was；　in　very　fair　English；　though　with　a　slight
Somersetshire　accent；　explaining　to　a　porter　for　the　tenth　time；　as
he　informed　us；　the　simple　fact　that　though　he　himself　had　a　ticket
for　Donaueschingen；　and　wanted　to　go　to　Donaueschingen；　to　see　the
source　of　the　Danube；　which　is　not　there；　though　they　tell　you　it
is；　he　wished　his　bicycle　to　be　sent　on　to　Engen　and　his　bag　to
Constance；　there　to　await　his　arrival。　　He　was　hot　and　angry　with
the　effort　of　the　thing。　　The　porter　was　a　young　man　in　years；　but
at　the　moment　looked　old　and　miserable。　　I　offered　my　services。　　I
wish　now　I　had　notthough　not　so　fervently；　I　expect；　as　he；　the
speechless　one；　came　subsequently　to　wish　this。　　All　three　routes；
so　the　porter　explained　to　us；　were　complicated；　necessitating
changing　and　re…changing。　　There　was　not　much　time　for　calm
elucidation；　as　our　own　train　was　starting　in　a　few　minutes。　　The
man　himself　was　volublealways　a　mistake　when　anything　entangled
has　to　be　made　clear；　while　the　porter　was　only　too　eager　to　get
the　job　done　with　and　so　breathe　again。　　It　dawned　upon　me　ten
minutes　later；　when　thinking　the　matter　over　in　the　train；　that
though　I　had　agreed　with　the　porter　that　it　would　be　best　for　the
bicycle　to　go　by　way　of　Immendingen；　and　had　agreed　to　his　booking
it　to　Immendingen；　I　had　neglected　to　give　instructions　for　its
departure　from　Immendingen。　　Were　I　of　a　despondent　temperament　I
should　be　worrying　myself　at　the　present　moment　with　the　reflection
that　in　all　probability　that　bicycle　is　still　at　Immendingen　to
this　day。　　But　I　regard　it　as　good　philosophy　to　endeavour　always
to　see　the　brighter　side　of　things。　　Possibly　the　porter　corrected
my　omission　on　his　own　account；　or　some　simple　miracle　may　have
happened　to　restore　that　bicycle　to　its　owner