three men on the bummel-第33章
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to look happy； perhaps； occasionally to back…pedal a little when
the machine in its youthful buoyancy loses its head for a moment
and dashes on too swiftly。
You tired young men； sitting dejectedly on milestones； too spent to
heed the steady rain that soaks you through； you weary maidens；
with the straight； damp hair； anxious about the time； longing to
swear； not knowing how； you stout bald men； vanishing visibly as
you pant and grunt along the endless road； you purple； dejected
matrons； plying with pain the slow unwilling wheel； why did you not
see to it that you bought a 〃Britain's Best〃 or a 〃Camberwell
Eureka〃？ Why are these bicycles of inferior make so prevalent
throughout the land
Or is it with bicycling as with all other things： does Life at no
point realise the Poster？
The one thing in Germany that never fails to charm and fascinate me
is the German dog。 In England one grows tired of the old breeds；
one knows them all so well： the mastiff； the plum…pudding dog； the
terrier （black； white or rough…haired； as the case may be； but
always quarrelsome）； the collie； the bulldog； never anything new。
Now in Germany you get variety。 You come across dogs the like of
which you have never seen before： that until you hear them bark
you do not know are dogs。 It is all so fresh； so interesting。
George stopped a dog in Sigmaringen and drew our attention to it。
It suggested a cross between a codfish and a poodle。 I would not
like to be positive it was NOT a cross between a codfish and a
poodle。 Harris tried to photograph it； but it ran up a fence and
disappeared through some bushes。
I do not know what the German breeder's idea is； at present he
retains his secret。 George suggests he is aiming at a griffin。
There is much to bear out this theory； and indeed in one or two
cases I have come across success on these lines would seem to have
been almost achieved。 Yet I cannot bring myself to believe that
such are anything more than mere accidents。 The German is
practical； and I fail to see the object of a griffin。 If mere
quaintness of design be desired； is there not already the
Dachshund！ What more is needed？ Besides； about a house； a griffin
would be so inconvenient： people would be continually treading on
its tail。 My own idea is that what the Germans are trying for is a
mermaid； which they will then train to catch fish。
For your German does not encourage laziness in any living thing。
He likes to see his dogs work； and the German dog loves work； of
that there can be no doubt。 The life of the English dog must be a
misery to him。 Imagine a strong； active； and intelligent being； of
exceptionally energetic temperament； condemned to spend twenty…four
hours a day in absolute idleness！ How would you like it yourself？
No wonder he feels misunderstood； yearns for the unattainable； and
gets himself into trouble generally。
Now the German dog； on the other hand； has plenty to occupy his
mind。 He is busy and important。 Watch him as he walks along
harnessed to his milk cart。 No churchwarden at collection time
could feel or look more pleased with himself。 He does not do any
real work； the human being does the pushing； he does the barking；
that is his idea of division of labour。 What he says to himself
is：
〃The old man can't bark； but he can shove。 Very well。〃
The interest and the pride he takes in the business is quite
beautiful to see。 Another dog passing by makes； maybe； some
jeering remark； casting discredit upon the creaminess of the milk。
He stops suddenly； quite regardless of the traffic。
〃I beg your pardon； what was that you said about our milk？〃
〃I said nothing about your milk；〃 retorts the other dog； in a tone
of gentle innocence。 〃I merely said it was a fine day； and asked
the price of chalk。〃
〃Oh； you asked the price of chalk； did you？ Would you like to
know？〃
〃Yes； thanks； somehow I thought you would be able to tell me。〃
〃You are quite right； I can。 It's worth〃
〃Oh； do come along！〃 says the old lady； who is tired and hot； and
anxious to finish her round。
〃Yes； but hang it all； did you hear what he hinted about our milk？〃
〃Oh； never mind him！ There's a tram coming round the corner： we
shall all get run over。〃
〃Yes； but I do mind him； one has one's proper pride。 He asked the
price of chalk； and he's going to know it！ It's worth just twenty
times as much〃
〃You'll have the whole thing over； I know you will；〃 cries the old
lady； pathetically； struggling with all her feeble strength to haul
him back。 〃Oh dear； oh dear！ I do wish I had left you at home。〃
The tram is bearing down upon them； a cab…driver is shouting at
them； another huge brute； hoping to be in time to take a hand； is
dragging a bread cart； followed by a screaming child； across the
road from the opposite side； a small crowd is collecting； and a
policeman is hastening to the scene。
〃It's worth；〃 says the milk dog； 〃just twenty…times as much as
you'll be worth before I've done with you。〃
〃Oh； you think so； do you？〃
〃Yes； I do； you grandson of a French poodle； you cabbage…eating〃
〃There！ I knew you'd have it over；〃 says the poor milk…woman。 〃I
told him he'd have it over。〃
But he is busy； and heeds her not。 Five minutes later； when the
traffic is renewed； when the bread girl has collected her muddy
rolls； and the policeman has gone off with the name and address of
everybody in the street； he consents to look behind him。
〃It IS a bit of an upset；〃 he admits。 Then shaking himself free of
care； he adds； cheerfully； 〃But I guess I taught him the price of
chalk。 He won't interfere with us again； I'm thinking。〃
〃I'm sure I hope not；〃 says the old lady； regarding dejectedly the
milky road。
But his favourite sport is to wait at the top of the hill for
another dog； and then race down。 On these occasions the chief
occupation of the other fellow is to run about behind； picking up
the scattered articles； loaves； cabbages； or shirts； as they are
jerked out。 At the bottom of the hill； he stops and waits for his
friend。
〃Good race； wasn't it？〃 he remarks； panting； as the Human comes up；
laden to the chin。 〃I believe I'd have won it； too； if it hadn't
been for that fool of a small boy。 He was right in my way just as
I turned the corner。 YOU NOTICED HIM？ Wish I had； beastly brat！
What's he yelling like that for？ BECAUSE I KNOCKED HIM DOWN AND
RAN OVER HIM？ Well； why didn't he get out of the way？ It's
disgraceful； the way people leave their children about for other
people to tumble over。 Halloa！ did all those things come out？ You
couldn't have packed them very carefully； you should see to a thing
like that。 YOU DID NOT DREAM OF MY TEARING DOWN THE HILL TWENTY
MILES AN HOUR？ Surely； you knew me better than to expect I'd let
that old Schneider's dog pass me without an effort。 But there； you
never think。 You're sure you've got them all？ YOU BELIEVE SO？ I
shouldn't 'believe' if I were you； I should run back up the hill
again and make sure。 YOU FEEL TOO TIRED？ Oh； all right！ don't
blame me if anything is missing； that's all。〃
He is so self…willed。 He is cock…sure that the correct turning is
the second on the right； and nothing will persuade him that it is
the third。 He is positive he can get across the road in time； and
will not be convinced until he sees the cart smashed up。 Then he
is very apologetic； it is true。 But of what use is that？ As he is
usually of the size and strength of a young bull； and his human
companion is generally a weak…kneed old man or woman； or a small
child； he has his way。 The greatest punishment his proprietor can
inflict upon him is to leave him at home； and take the cart out
alone。 But your German is too kind…hearted to do this often。
That he is harnessed to the cart for anybody's pleasure but his own
it is impossible to believe； and I am confident that the German
peasant plans the tiny harness and fashions the little cart purely
with the hope of gratifying his dog。 In other countriesin
Belgium； Holland and FranceI have seen these draught dogs ill…
treated and over…worked； but in Germany； never。 Germans abuse
animals shockingly。 I ha
