three men on the bummel-第19章
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cause merriment； so much the more is he esteemed by his employers。
The class naturally regards him as an animated joke。 The two to
four hours a week that are deliberately wasted on this ancient
farce； are looked forward to by the boys as a merry interlude in an
otherwise monotonous existence。 And then； when the proud parent
takes his son and heir to Dieppe merely to discover that the lad
does not know enough to call a cab； he abuses not the system； but
its innocent victim。
I confine my remarks to French； because that is the only language
we attempt to teach our youth。 An English boy who could speak
German would be looked down upon as unpatriotic。 Why we waste time
in teaching even French according to this method I have never been
able to understand。 A perfect unacquaintance with a language is
respectable。 But putting aside comic journalists and lady
novelists； for whom it is a business necessity； this smattering of
French which we are so proud to possess only serves to render us
ridiculous。
In the German school the method is somewhat different。 One hour
every day is devoted to the same language。 The idea is not to give
the lad time between each lesson to forget what he learned at the
last； the idea is for him to get on。 There is no comic foreigner
provided for his amusement。 The desired language is taught by a
German school…master who knows it inside and out as thoroughly as
he knows his own。 Maybe this system does not provide the German
youth with that perfection of foreign accent for which the British
tourist is in every land remarkable； but it has other advantages。
The boy does not call his master 〃froggy；〃 or 〃sausage；〃 nor
prepare for the French or English hour any exhibition of homely wit
whatever。 He just sits there； and for his own sake tries to learn
that foreign tongue with as little trouble to everybody concerned
as possible。 When he has left school he can talk； not about
penknives and gardeners and aunts merely； but about European
politics； history； Shakespeare； or the musical glasses； according
to the turn the conversation may take。
Viewing the German people from an Anglo…Saxon standpoint； it may be
that in this book I shall find occasion to criticise them： but on
the other hand there is much that we might learn from them； and in
the matter of common sense； as applied to education； they can give
us ninety…nine in a hundred and beat us with one hand。
The beautiful wood of the Eilenriede bounds Hanover on the south
and west； and here occurred a sad drama in which Harris took a
prominent part。
We were riding our machines through this wood on the Monday
afternoon in the company of many other cyclists； for it is a
favourite resort with the Hanoverians on a sunny afternoon； and its
shady pathways are then filled with happy； thoughtless folk。 Among
them rode a young and beautiful girl on a machine that was new。
She was evidently a novice on the bicycle。 One felt instinctively
that there would come a moment when she would require help； and
Harris； with his accustomed chivalry； suggested we should keep near
her。 Harris； as he occasionally explains to George and to myself；
has daughters of his own； or； to speak more correctly； a daughter；
who as the years progress will no doubt cease practising catherine
wheels in the front garden； and will grow up into a beautiful and
respectable young lady。 This naturally gives Harris an interest in
all beautiful girls up to the age of thirty…five or thereabouts；
they remind him； so he says； of home。
We had ridden for about two miles； when we noticed； a little ahead
of us in a space where five ways met； a man with a hose； watering
the roads。 The pipe； supported at each joint by a pair of tiny
wheels； writhed after him as he moved； suggesting a gigantic…worm；
from whose open neck； as the man； gripping it firmly in both hands；
pointing it now this way； and now that； now elevating it； now
depressing it； poured a strong stream of water at the rate of about
a gallon a second。
〃What a much better method than ours；〃 observed Harris；
enthusiastically。 Harris is inclined to be chronically severe on
all British institutions。 〃How much simpler； quicker； and more
economical！ You see； one man by this method can in five minutes
water a stretch of road that would take us with our clumsy
lumbering cart half an hour to cover。〃
George； who was riding behind me on the tandem； said； 〃Yes； and it
is also a method by which with a little carelessness a man could
cover a good many people in a good deal less time than they could
get out of the way。〃
George； the opposite to Harris； is British to the core。 I remember
George quite patriotically indignant with Harris once for
suggesting the introduction of the guillotine into England。
〃It is so much neater；〃 said Harris。
〃I don't care if it is；〃 said George； 〃I'm an Englishman； hanging
is good enough for me。〃
〃Our water…cart may have its disadvantages；〃 continued George； 〃but
it can only make you uncomfortable about the legs； and you can
avoid it。 This is the sort of machine with which a man can follow
you round the corner and upstairs。〃
〃It fascinates me to watch them；〃 said Harris。 〃They are so
skilful。 I have seen a man from the corner of a crowded square in
Strassburg cover every inch of ground； and not so much as wet an
apron string。 It is marvellous how they judge their distance。
They will send the water up to your toes； and then bring it over
your head so that it falls around your heels。 They can〃
〃Ease up a minute；〃 said George。 I said： 〃Why？〃
He said： 〃I am going to get off and watch the rest of this show
from behind a tree。 There may be great performers in this line； as
Harris says； this particular artist appears to me to lack
something。 He has just soused a dog； and now he's busy watering a
sign…post。 I am going to wait till he has finished。〃
〃Nonsense；〃 said Harris； 〃he won't wet you。〃
〃That is precisely what I am going to make sure of；〃 answered
George； saying which he jumped off； and； taking up a position
behind a remarkably fine elm； pulled out and commenced filling his
pipe。
I did not care to take the tandem on by myself； so I stepped off
and joined him； leaving the machine against a tree。 Harris shouted
something or other about our being a disgrace to the land that gave
us birth； and rode on。
The next moment I heard a woman's cry of distress。 Glancing round
the stem of the tree； I perceived that it proceeded from the young
and elegant lady before mentioned； whom； in our interest concerning
the road…waterer； we had forgotten。 She was riding her machine
steadily and straightly through a drenching shower of water from
the hose。 She appeared to be too paralysed either to get off or
turn her wheel aside。 Every instant she was becoming wetter； while
the man with the hose； who was either drunk or blind； continued to
pour water upon her with utter indifference。 A dozen voices yelled
imprecations upon him； but he took no heed whatever。
Harris； his fatherly nature stirred to its depths； did at this
point what； under the circumstances； was quite the right and proper
thing to do。 Had he acted throughout with the same coolness and
judgment he then displayed； he would have emerged from that
incident the hero of the hour； instead of； as happened； riding away
followed by insult and threat。 Without a moment's hesitation he
spurted at the man； sprang to the ground； and； seizing the hose by
the nozzle； attempted to wrest it away。
What he ought to have done； what any man retaining his common sense
would have done the moment he got his hands upon the thing； was to
turn off the tap。 Then he might have played foot…ball with the
man； or battledore and shuttlecock as he pleased； and the twenty or
thirty people who had rushed forward to assist would have only
applauded。 His idea； however； as he explained to us afterwards；
was to take away the hose from the man； and； for punishment； turn
it upon the fool himself。 The waterman's idea appeared to be the
same； namely； to retain the hose as a weapon with which to soak
Harris。 Of course； the result was that； between them；
