burlesques-第33章

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no　moneyit's　not　MY　fault　if　that　old　screw　Lady　Bareacres

cabbidged　three　hundred　yards　of　lace；　and　kep　back　4　of　the

biggest　diminds　and　seven　of　the　largist　Injar　Shawlsit's　not　MY

fault　if　the　tradespeople　didn　git　their　goods　back；　and　that　Lady

B。　declared　they　were　LOST。　　I　began　the　world　afresh　with　the

close　on　my　back；　and　thirteen　and　six　in　money；　concealing

nothink；　giving　up　heverythink；　Onist　and　undismayed；　and　though

beat；　with　pluck　in　me　still；　and　ready　to　begin　agin。



〃Wellit　was　the　day　before　that　apinted　for　my　Unium。　　The

'Ringdove'　steamer　was　lying　at　Dover　ready　to　carry　us　hoff。　　The

Bridle　apartmince　had　been　hordered　at　Salt　Hill；　and　subsquintly

at　Balong　sur　Marethe　very　table　cloth　was　laid　for　the　weddn

brexfst　in　Ill　Street；　and　the　Bride's　Right　Reverend　Huncle；　the

Lord　Bishop　of　Bullocksmithy；　had　arrived　to　sellabrayt　our　unium。

All　the　papers　were　full　of　it。　　Crowds　of　the　fashnable　world　went

to　see　the　trooso；　and　admire　the　Carridges　in　Long　Hacre。　　Our

travleng　charrat　（light　bloo　lined　with　pink　satting；　and

vermillium　and　goold　weals）　was　the　hadmaration　of　all　for　quiet

ellygns。　　We　were　to　travel　only　4；　viz。　me；　my　lady；　my　vally；　and

Mary　Hann　as　famdyshamber　to　my　Hangelina。　　Far　from　oposing　our

match；　this　worthy　gal　had　quite　givn　into　it　of　late；　and　laught

and　joakt；　and　enjoyd　our　plans　for　the　fewter　igseedinkly。



〃I'd　left　my　lovely　Bride　very　gay　the　night　beforeaving　a

multachewd　of　bisniss　on；　and　Stockbrokers'　and　bankers'　accounts

to　settle：　atsettrey　atsettrey。　　It　was　layt　before　I　got　these　in

horder：　my　sleap　was　feavrish；　as　most　mens　is　when　they　are　going

to　be　marrid　or　to　be　hanged。　　I　took　my　chocklit　in　bed　about　one：

tride　on　my　wedding　close；　and　found　as　ushle　that　they　became　me

exeedingly。



〃One　thing　distubbed　my　mindtwo　weskts　had　been　sent　home。　　A

blush…white　satting　and　gold；　and　a　kinary　colored　tabbinet

imbridered　in　silver：　which　should　I　wear　on　the　hospicious　day？

This　hadgitated　and　perplext　me　a　good　deal。　　I　detummined　to　go

down　to　Hill　Street　and　cumsult　the　Lady　whose　wishis　were

henceforth　to　be　my　HALLINALL；　and　wear　whichever　SHE　phixt　on。



〃There　was　a　great　bussel　and　distubbans　in　the　Hall　in　Ill　Street：

which　I　etribyouted　to　the　eproaching　event。　　The　old　porter　stared

meost　uncommon　when　I　kem　inthe　footman　who　was　to　enounce　me

laft　I　thoughtI　was　going　up　stairs



〃'Her　ladyship's　notnot　at　HOME；'　says　the　man；　'and　my　lady's

hill　in　bed。'



〃'Git　lunch；'　says　I；　'I'll　wait　till　Lady　Hangelina　returns。'



〃At　this　the　feller　loox　at　me　for　a　momint　with　his　cheex　blown

out　like　a　bladder；　and　then　busts　out　in　a　reglar　guffau！　the

porter　jined　in　it；　the　impident　old　raskle：　and　Thomas　says；

slapping　his　and　on　his　thy；　without　the　least　respectI　say；

Huffy；　old　boy！　ISN'T　this　a　good　un？'



〃'Wadyermean；　you　infunnle　scoundrel；'　says　I；　'hollaring　and

laffing　at　me？'



〃'Oh；　here's　Miss　Mary　Hann　coming　up；'　says　Thomas；　'ask　HER'and

indeed　there　came　my　little　Mary　Hann　tripping　down　the　stairsher

&s　in　her　pockits；　and　when　she　saw　me；　SHE　began　to　blush　and　look

hod　&　then　to　grin　too。



〃'In　the　name　of　Imperence；'　says　I；　rushing　on　Thomas；　and

collaring　him　fit　to　throttle　him'no　raskle　of　a　flunky　shall

insult　ME；'　and　I　sent　him　staggerin　up　aginst　the　porter；　and　both

of　'em　into　the　hall…chair　with　a　floppwhen　Mary　Hann；　jumping

down；　says；　'O　James！　　O　Mr。　Plush！　read　this'and　she　pulled　out

a　billy　doo。



〃I　reckanized　the　and…writing　of　Hangelina。〃





〃Deseatful　Hangelina's　billy　ran　as　follows：



〃'I　had　all　along　hoped　that　you　would　have　relinquished

pretensions　which　you　must　have　seen　were　so　disagreeable　to　me；

and　have　spared　me　the　painful　necessity　of　the　step　which　I　am

compelled　to　take。　　For　a　long　time　I　could　not　believe　my　parents

were　serious　in　wishing　to　sacrifice　me；　but　have　in　vain　entreated

them　to　spare　me。　　I　cannot　undergo　the　shame　and　misery　of　a　union

with　you。　　To　the　very　last　hour　I　remonstrated　in　vain；　and　only

now　anticipate　by　a　few　hours；　my　departure　from　a　home　from　which

they　themselves　were　about　to　expel　me。



〃'When　you　receive　this；　I　shall　be　united　to　the　person　to　whom；

as　you　are　aware；　my　heart　was　given　long　ago。　　My　parents　are

already　informed　of　the　step　I　have　taken。　　And　I　have　my　own　honor

to　consult；　even　before　their　benefit：　they　will　forgive　me；　I　hope

and　feel；　before　long。



〃'As　for　yourself；　may　I　not　hope　that　time　will　calm　your

exquisite　feelings　too？　　I　leave　Mary　Ann　behind　me　to　console　you。

She　admires　you　as　you　deserve　to　be　admired；　and　with　a　constancy

which　I　entreat　you　to　try　and　imitate。　　Do；　my　dear　Mr。　Plush；

tryfor　the　sake　of　your　sincere　friend　and　admirer；　A。



〃'P。S。　　I　leave　the　wedding…dresses　behind　for　her：　the　diamonds

are　beautiful；　and　will　become　Mrs。　Plush　admirably。'





〃This　was　hall！Confewshn！　　And　there　stood　the　footmen　sniggerin；

and　that　hojus　Mary　Hann　half　a　cryin；　half　a　laffing　at　me！　　'Who

has　she　gone　hoff　with？'　rors　I；　and　Mary　Hann　（smiling　with　one

hi）　just　touched　the　top　of　one　of　the　Johns'　canes　who　was　goin

out　with　the　noats　to　put　hoff　the　brekfst。　　It　was　Silvertop　then！



〃I　bust　out　of　the　house　in　a　stayt　of　diamoniacal　igsitement！



〃The　stoary　of　that　ilorpmint　I　have　no　art　to　tell。　　Here　it　is

from　the　Morning　Tatler　newspaper：





〃ELOPEMENT　IN　HIGH　LIFE。



〃THE　ONLY　AUTHENTIC　ACCOUNT。



〃The　neighborhood　of　Berkeley　Square；　and　the　whole　fashionable

world；　has　been　thrown　into　a　state　of　the　most　painful　excitement

by　an　event　which　has　just　placed　a　noble　family　in　great

perplexity　and　affliction。



〃It　has　long　been　known　among　the　select　nobility　and　gentry　that　a

marriage　was　on　the　tapis　between　the　only　daughter　of　a　Noble

Earl；　and　a　Gentleman　whose　rapid　fortunes　in　the　railway　world

have　been　the　theme　of　general　remark。　　Yesterday's　paper；　it　was

supposed；　in　all　human　probability　would　have　contained　an　account

of　the　marriage　of　James　De　la　Pl…che；　Esq。；　and　the　Lady　Angelina

；　daughter　of　the　Right　honorable　the　Earl　of　B…re…cres。　　The

preparations　for　this　ceremony　were　complete：　we　had　the　pleasure

of　inspecting　the　rich　trousseau　（prepared　by　Miss　Twiddler；　of

Pall　Mall）；　the　magnificent　jewels　from　the　establishment　of

Messrs。　Storr　and　Mortimer；　the　elegant　marriage　cake；　which；

already　cut　up　and　portioned；　is；　alas！　not　destined　to　be　eaten　by

the　friends　of　Mr。　De　la　Pl…che；　the　superb　carriages；　and

magnificent　liveries；　which　had　been　provided　in　a　style　of　the

most　lavish　yet　tasteful　sumptuosity。　　The　Right　Reverend　the　Lord

Bishop　of　Bullocksmithy　had　arrived　in　town　to　celebrate　the

nuptials；　and　is　staying　at　Mivart's。　　What　must　have　been　the

feelings　of　that　venerable　prelate；　what　those　of　the　agonized　and

noble　parents　of　the　Lady　Angelinawhen　it　was　discovered；　on　the

day　previous　to　the　wedding；　that　her　Ladyship　had　fled　the

paternal　mansion！　　To　the　venerable　Bishop　the　news　of　his　noble

niece's　departure　might　have　been　fatal：　we　have　it　from　the

waiters　of　Mivart's　that　his　Lordship　was　about　to　indulge　in　the

refreshment　of　turtle　soup　when　the　news　was　brought　to　him；

immediate　apoplexy　was　apprehended；　but　Mr。　Macann；　the　celebrated

surgeon　of　Westminster；　was　luckily　passing　through　Bond　Street　at

the　time；　and　being　promptly　called　in；　bled　and　relieved　the

exemplary　patient。　　His　Lordship　will　return　to　the　Palace；

Bullocksmithy；　tomorrow。



〃The　frantic　agonies　of　the　Right　Honorable　the　Earl　of　Bareacres

can　be　imagined　by　every　paternal　heart。　　Far　be　it　from　us　to

disturbimpossible　is　it　for　us　to　describe　their　noble　sorrow。

Our　reporters　have　made　inquiries　every　ten　minutes　at　the　Earl's

mansion　in　Hill　Street；　regarding　the　health　of　the　Noble　Peer　and

his　incomparable　Countess。　　They　have　be