burlesques-第32章

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THAT　in　your　ladyship's　pipe　and　smoke　it。'



〃And　so　I　left　her；　and　nex　day　a　serting　fashnable　paper　enounced



〃'MARRIAGE　IN　HIGH　LIFE。We　hear　that　a　matrimonial　union　is　on

the　tapis　between　a　gentleman　who　has　made　a　colossal　fortune　in

the　Railway　World；　and　the　only　daughter　of　a　noble　earl；　whose

estates　are　situated　in　D…ddles…x。　　An　early　day　is　fixed　for　this

interesting　event。'〃





〃Contry　to　my　expigtations　（but　when　or　ow　can　we　reckn　upon　the

fealinx　of　wimming？）　Mary　Hann　didn't　seem　to　be　much　efected　by

the　hideer　of　my　marridge　with　Hangelinar。　　I　was　rayther

disapinted　peraps　that　the　fickle　young　gal　reckumsiled　herself　so

easy　to　give　me　hup；　for　we　Gents　are　creechers　of　vannaty　after

all；　as　well　as　those　of　the　hopsit　secks；　and　betwigst　you　and　me

there　WAS　mominx；　when　I　almost　wisht　that　I'd　been　borne　a

Myommidn　or　Turk；　when　the　Lor　would　have　permitted　me　to　marry

both　these　sweet　beinx；　wherehas　I　was　now　condemd　to　be　appy　with

ony　one。



〃Meanwild　everythink　went　on　very　agreeable　betwigst　me　and　my

defianced　bride。　　When　we　came　back　to　town　I　kemishnd　Mr。　Showery

the　great　Hoctionear　to　look　out　for　a　town　maushing　sootable　for　a

gent　of　my　qualaty。　　I　got　from　the　Erald　Hoffis　（not　the　Mawning

Eraldno；　no；　I'm　not　such　a　Mough　as　to　go　THERE　for　ackrit

infamation）　an　account　of　my　famly；　my　harms　and　pedigry。



〃I　hordered　in　Long　Hacre；　three　splendid　equipidges；　on　which　my

arms　and　my　adord　wife's　was　drawn　&　quartered；　and　I　got　portricks

of　me　and　her　paynted　by　the　sellabrated　Mr。　Shalloon；　being

resolved　to　be　the　gentleman　in　all　things；　and　knowing　that　my

character　as　a　man　of　fashn　wasn't　compleat　unless　I　sat　to　that

dixtinguished　Hartist。　　My　likenis　I　presented　to　Hangelina。　　It's

not　considered　flattringand　though　SHE　parted　with　it；　as　you

will　hear；　mighty　willingly；　there's　ONE　young　lady　（a　thousand

times　handsomer）　that　values　it　as　the　happle　of　her　hi。



〃Would　any　man　beleave　that　this　picture　was　soald　at　my　sale　for

about　a　twenty…fifth　part　of　what　it　cost　me？　　It　was　bought　in　by

Maryhann；　though：　'O　dear　Jeames；'　says　she；　often　（kissing　of　it　&

pressing　it　to　her　art）；　'it　isn't　ansum　enough　for　you；　and　hasn't

got　your　angellick　smile　and　the　igspreshn　of　your　dear　dear　i's。'



〃Hangelina's　pictur　was　kindly　presented　to　me　by　Countess　B。；　her

mamma；　though　of　coarse　I　paid　for　it。　　It　was　engraved　for　the

'Book　of　Bewty'　the　same　year。



〃With　such　a　perfusion　of　ringlits　I　should　scarcely　have　known

herbut　the　ands；　feat；　and　i's；　was　very　like。　　She　was　painted

in　a　gitar　supposed　to　be　singing　one　of　my　little　melladies；　and

her　brother　Southdown；　who　is　one　of　the　New　England　poits；　wrote

the　follering　stanzys　about　her：





　　　　　　　　　〃LINES　UPON　MY　SISTER'S　PORTRAIT。



　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃BY　THE　LORD　SOUTHDOWN。



〃The　castle　towers　of　Bareacres　are　fair　upon　the　lea；

Where　the　cliffs　of　bonny　Diddlesex　rise　up　from　out　the　sea：

I　stood　upon　the　donjon　keep　and　view'd　the　country　o'er；

I　saw　the　lands　of　Bareacres　for　fifty　miles　or　more。

I　stood　upon　the　donjon　keepit　is　a　sacred　place；

Where　floated　for　eight　hundred　years　the　banner　of　my　race；

Argent；　a　dexter　sinople；　and　gules　an　azure　field；

There　ne'er　was　nobler　cognizance　on　knightly　warrior's　shield。



〃The　first　time　England　saw　the　shield　'twas　round　a　Norman　neck；

On　board　a　ship　from　Valery；　King　William　was　on　deck。

A　Norman　lance　the　colors　wore；　in　Hastings'　fatal　fray

St。　Willibald　for　Bareacres！　'twas　double　gules　that　day！

O　Heaven　and　sweet　St。　Willibald！　in　many　a　battle　since

A　loyal…hearted　Bareacres　has　ridden　by　his　Prince！

At　Acre　with　Plantagenet；　with　Edward　at　Poitiers；

The　pennon　of　the　Bareacres　was　foremost　on　the　spears！



〃'Twas　pleasant　in　the　battle…shock　to　hear　our　war…cry　ringing：

O　grant　me；　sweet　St。　Willibald；　to　listen　to　such　singing！

Three　hundred　steel…clad　gentlemen；　we　drove　the　foe　before　us；

And　thirty　score　of　British　bows　kept　twanging　to　the　chorus！

O　knights；　my　noble　ancestors！　and　shall　I　never　hear

Saint　Willibald　for　Bareacres　through　battle　ringing　clear？

I'd　cut　me　off　this　strong　right　hand　a　single　hour　to　ride；

And　strike　a　blow　for　Bareacres；　my　fathers；　at　your　side！



〃Dash　down；　dash　down；　yon　Mandolin；　beloved　sister　mine！

Those　blushing　lips　may　never　sing　the　glories　of　our　line：

Our　ancient　castles　echo　to　the　clumsy　feet　of　churls；

The　spinning　Jenny　houses　in　the　mansion　of　our　Earls。

Sing　not；　sing　not；　my　Angeline！　in　days　so　base　and　vile；

'Twere　sinful　to　be　happy；　'twere　sacrilege　to　smile。

I'll　hie　me　to　my　lonely　hall；　and　by　its　cheerless　hob

I'll　muse　on　other　days；　and　wishand　wish　I　were。A　SNOB。〃





〃All　young　Hengland；　I'm　told；　considers　the　poim　bewtifle。

They're　always　writing　about　battleaxis　and　shivvlery；　these　young

chaps；　but　the　ideer　of　Southdown　in　a　shoot　of　armer；　and　his

cuttin　hoff　his　'strong　right　hand；'　is　rayther　too　good；　the

feller　is　about　5　fit　hi；as　ricketty　as　a　babby；　with　a　vaist

like　a　gal；　and　though　he　may　have　the　art　and　curridge　of　a　Bengal

tyger；　I'd　back　my　smallest　cab…boy　to　lick　him；that　is；　if　I　AD

a　cab…boy。　　But　io！　MY　cab…days　is　over。



〃Be　still　my　hagnizing　Art！　　I　now　am　about　to　hunfoald　the　dark

payges　of　the　Istry　of　my　life！〃





〃My　friends！　you've　seen　me　ither2　in　the　full　kerear　of　Fortn；

prawsprus　but　not　hover　prowd　of　my　prawsperraty；　not　dizzy　though

mounted　on　the　haypix　of　Good　Luckfeasting　hall　the　great　（like

the　Good　Old　Henglish　Gent　in　the　song；　which　he　has　been　my　moddle

and　igsample　through　life）；　but　not　forgitting　the　smallNo；　my

beayvior　to　my　granmother　at　Healing　shows　that。　　I　bot　her　a　new

donkey　cart　（what　the　French　call　a　cart…blansh）　and　a　handsome　set

of　peggs　for　anging　up　her　linning；　and　treated　Huncle　Bill　to　a

new　shoot　of　close；　which　he　ordered　in　St。　Jeames's　Street；　much

to　the　estonishment　of　my　Snyder　there；　namely　an　olliffgreen

velvyteen　jackit　and　smalclose；　and　a　crimsn　plush　weskoat　with

glas…buttns。　　These　pints　of　genarawsaty　in　my　disposishn　I　never

should　have　eluded　to；　but　to　show　that　I　am　naturally　of　a　noble

sort；　and　have　that　kind　of　galliant　carridge　which　is　equel　to

either　good　or　bad　forting。



〃What　was　the　substns　of　my　last　chapter？　　In　that　everythink　was

prepayred　for　my　marridgethe　consent　of　the　parents　of　my

Hangelina　was　gaynd；　the　lovely　gal　herself　was　ready　（as　I

thought）　to　be　led　to　Himing's　halterthe　trooso　was　horderedthe

wedding　dressis　were　being　phitted　hona　weddinkake　weighing　half

a　tunn　was　a　gettn　reddy　by　Mesurs　Gunter　of　Buckley　Square；　there

was　such　an　account　for　Shantilly　and　Honiton　laces　as　would　have

staggerd　hennyboddy　（I　know　they　did　the　Commissioner　when　I　came

hup　for　my　Stiffikit）；　and　has　for　Injar…shawls　I　bawt　a　dozen　sich

fine　ones　as　never　was　given　awayno　not　by　Hiss　Iness　the　Injan

Prins　Juggernaut　Tygore。　　The　juils　（a　pearl　and　dimind　shoot）　were

from　the　establishmint　of　Mysurs　Storr　and　Mortimer。　　The　honey…

moon　I　intended　to　pass　in　a　continentle　excussion；　and　was　in

treaty　for　the　ouse　at　Halberd…gate　（hopsit　Mr。　Hudson's）　as　my

town…house。　　I　waited　to　cumclude　the　putchis　untle　the　Share…

Markit　which　was　rayther　deprest　（oing　I　think　not　so　much　to　the

atax　of　the　misrable　Times　as　to　the　prodidjus　flams　of　the　Morning

Erald）　was　restored　to　its　elthy　toan。　　I　wasn't　goin　to　part　with

scrip　which　was　20　primmium　at　2　or　3：　and　bein　confidnt　that　the

Markit　would　rally；　had　bought　very　largely　for　the　two　or　three

new　accounts。



〃This　will　explane　to　those　unfortnight　traydsmen　to　womb　I　gayv

orders　for　a　large　igstent　ow　it　was　that　I　couldn't　pay　their

accounts。　　I　am　the　soal　of　onourbut　no　gent　can　pay　when　he　has

no　moneyit's　not　MY　fault　if　that　old　screw　Lady　Bareacres

cabbidged　three　hundred　yards　of　lace；　and　kep　back　4　of　the

big