burlesques-第112章

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followers；　Mr。　Stubbs；　only　that　gentleman　made　way　for　him；　and

when　we　took　up　the　bailiff；　and　brought　him　round　by　the　aid　of　a

little　brandy…and…water；　he　told　us　all。　　〃I　had　a　writ　againsht

him；　Mishter　Coxsh；　but　I　didn't　vant　to　shpoil　shport；　and；

beshidesh；　I　didn't　know　him　until　dey　knocked　off　his　shteel　cap！〃



　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。



Here　was　a　pretty　business！





OVER…BOARDED　AND　UNDER…LODGED。





We　had　no　great　reason　to　brag　of　our　tournament　at　Tuggeridgeville：

but；　after　all；　it　was　better　than　the　turn…out　at　Kilblazes；　where

poor　Lord　Heydownderry　went　about　in　a　black　velvet　dressing…gown；

and　the　Emperor　Napoleon　Bonypart　appeared　in　a　suit　of　armor　and

silk　stockings；　like　Mr。　Pell's　friend　in　Pickwick；　we；　having

employed　the　gentlemen　from　Astley's　Antitheatre；　had　some　decent

sport　for　our　money。



We　never　heard　a　word　from　the　Baron；　who　had　so　distinguished

himself　by　his　horsemanship；　and　had　knocked　down　（and　very　justly）

Mr。　Nabb；　the　bailiff；　and　Mr。　Stubbs；　his　man；　who　came　to　lay

hands　upon　him。　　My　sweet　Jemmy　seemed　to　be　very　low　in　spirits

after　his　departure；　and　a　sad　thing　it　is　to　see　her　in　low

spirits：　on　days　of　illness　she　no　more　minds　giving　Jemimarann　a

box　on　the　ear；　or　sending　a　plate　of　muffins　across　a　table　at

poor　me；　than　she　does　taking　her　tea。



Jemmy；　I　say；　was　very　low　in　spirits；　but；　one　day　（I　remember　it

was　the　day　after　Captain　Higgins　called；　and　said　he　had　seen　the

Baron　at　Boulogne）；　she　vowed　that　nothing　but　change　of　air　would

do　her　good；　and　declared　that　she　should　die　unless　she　went　to

the　seaside　in　France。　　I　knew　what　this　meant；　and　that　I　might　as

well　attempt　to　resist　her　as　to　resist　her　Gracious　Majesty　in

Parliament　assembled；　so　I　told　the　people　to　pack　up　the　things；

and　took　four　places　on　board　the　〃Grand　Turk〃　steamer　for　Boulogne。



The　travelling…carriage；　which；　with　Jemmy's　thirty…seven　boxes　and

my　carpet…bag；　was　pretty　well　loaded；　was　sent　on　board　the　night

before；　and　we；　after　breakfasting　in　Portland　Place　（little　did　I

think　it　was　thebut；　poh！　never　mind）；　went　down　to　the　Custom

House　in　the　other　carriage；　followed　by　a　hackney…coach　and　a　cab；

with　the　servants；　and　fourteen　bandboxes　and　trunks　more；　which

were　to　be　wanted　by　my　dear　girl　in　the　journey。



The　road　down　Cheapside　and　Thames　Street　need　not　be　described：　we

saw　the　Monument；　a　memento　of　the　wicked　Popish　massacre　of　St。

Bartholomew；why　erected　here　I　can't　think；　as　St。　Bartholomew　is

in　Smithfield；we　had　a　glimpse　of　Billingsgate；　and　of　the

Mansion　House；　where　we　saw　the　two…and…twenty…shilling…coal　smoke

coming　out　of　the　chimneys；　and　were　landed　at　the　Custom　House　in

safety。　　I　felt　melancholy；　for　we　were　going　among　a　people　of

swindlers；　as　all　Frenchmen　are　thought　to　be；　and；　besides　not

being　able　to　speak　the　language；　leaving　our　own　dear　country　and

honest　countrymen。



Fourteen　porters　came　out；　and　each　took　a　package　with　the

greatest　civility；　calling　Jemmy　her　ladyship；　and　me　your　honor；

ay；　and　your　honoring　and　my　ladyshipping　even　my　man　and　the　maid

in　the　cab。　　I　somehow　felt　all　over　quite　melancholy　at　going

away。　　〃Here；　my　fine　fellow；〃　says　I　to　the　coachman；　who　was

standing　very　respectful；　holding　his　hat　in　one　hand　and　Jemmy's

jewel…case　in　the　other〃Here；　my　fine　chap；〃　says　I；　〃here's　six

shillings　for　you；〃　for　I　did　not　care　for　the　money。



〃Six　what？〃　says　he。



〃Six　shillings；　fellow；〃　shrieks　Jemmy；　〃and　twice　as　much　as　your

fare。〃



〃Feller；　marm！〃　says　this　insolent　coachman。　　〃Feller　yourself；

marm：　do　you　think　I'm　a…going　to　kill　my　horses；　and　break　my

precious　back；　and　bust　my　carriage；　and　carry　you；　and　your　kids；

and　your　traps　for　six　hog？〃　　And　with　this　the　monster　dropped　his

hat；　with　my　money　in　it；　and　doubling　his　fist　put　it　so　very　near

my　nose　that　I　really　thought　he　would　have　made　it　bleed。　　〃My

fare's　heighteen　shillings；〃　says　he；　〃hain't　it？hask　hany　of

these　gentlemen。〃



〃Why；　it　ain't　more　than　seventeen…and…six；〃　says　one　of　the

fourteen　porters；　〃but　if　the　gen'l'man　IS　a　gen'l'man；　he　can't

give　no　less　than　a　suffering　anyhow。〃



I　wanted　to　resist；　and　Jemmy　screamed　like　a　Turk；　but；　〃Holloa！〃

says　one。　　〃What's　the　row？〃　says　another。　　〃Come；　dub　up！〃　roars　a

third。　　And　I　don't　mind　telling　you；　in　confidence；　that　I　was　so

frightened　that　I　took　out　the　sovereign　and　gave　it。　　My　man　and

Jemmy's　maid　had　disappeared　by　this　time：　they　always　do　when

there's　a　robbery　or　a　row　going　on。



I　was　going　after　them。　　〃Stop；　Mr。　Ferguson；〃　pipes　a　young

gentleman　of　about　thirteen；　with　a　red　livery　waistcoat　that

reached　to　his　ankles；　and　every　variety　of　button；　pin；　string；　to

keep　it　together。　　〃Stop；　Mr。　Heff；〃　says　he；　taking　a　small　pipe

out　of　his　mouth；　〃and　don't　forgit　the　cabman。〃



〃What's　your　fare；　my　lad？〃　says　I。



〃Why；　let's　seeyesho！my　fare's　seven…and…thirty　and　eightpence

eggsacly。〃



The　fourteen　gentlemen　holding　the　luggage；　here　burst　out　and

laughed　very　rudely　indeed；　and　the　only　person　who　seemed

disappointed　was；　I　thought；　the　hackney…coachman。　　〃Why；　YOU

rascal！〃　says　Jemmy；　laying　hold　of　the　boy；　〃do　you　want　more　than

the　coachman？〃



〃Don't　rascal　ME；　marm！〃　shrieks　the　little　chap　in　return。

〃What's　the　coach　to　me？　　Vy；　you　may　go　in　an　omlibus　for　sixpence

if　you　like；　vy　don't　you　go　and　buss　it；　marm？　　Vy　did　you　call　my

cab；　marm？　　Vy　am　I　to　come　forty　mile；　from　Scarlot　Street；

Po'tl'nd　Street；　Po'tl'nd　Place；　and　not　git　my　fare；　marm？　　Come；

give　me　a　suffering　and　a　half；　and　don't　keep　my　hoss　avaiting　all

day。〃　　This　speech；　which　takes　some　time　to　write　down；　was　made

in　about　the　fifth　part　of　a　second；　and；　at　the　end　of　it；　the

young　gentleman　hurled　down　his　pipe；　and；　advancing　towards　Jemmy；

doubled　his　fist；　and　seemed　to　challenge　her　to　fight。



My　dearest　girl　now　turned　from　red　to　be　as　pale　as　white　Windsor；

and　fell　into　my　arms。　　What　was　I　to　do？　　I　called　〃Policeman！〃

but　a　policeman　won't　interfere　in　Thames　Street；　robbery　is

licensed　there。　　What　was　I　to　do？　　Oh！　my　heart　beats　with

paternal　gratitude　when　I　think　of　what　my　Tug　did！



As　soon　as　this　young　cab…chap　put　himself　into　a　fighting

attitude；　Master　Tuggeridge　Coxewho　had　been　standing　by　laughing

very　rudely；　I　thoughtMaster　Tuggeridge　Coxe；　I　say；　flung　his

jacket　suddenly　into　his　mamma's　face　（the　brass　buttons　made　her

start　and　recovered　her　a　little）；　and；　before　we　could　say　a　word

was　in　the　ring　in　which　we　stood　（formed　by　the　porters；　nine

orangemen　and　women；　I　don't　know　how　many　newspaper…boys；　hotel…

cads；　and　old…clothesmen）；　and；　whirling　about　two　little　white

fists　in　the　face　of　the　gentleman　in　the　red　waistcoat；　who

brought　up　a　great　pair　of　black　ones　to　bear　on　the　enemy；　was

engaged　in　an　instant。



But　la　bless　you！　　Tug　hadn't　been　at　Richmond　School　for　nothing；

and　MILLED　away　one；　two；　right　and　leftlike　a　little　hero　as　he

is；　with　all　his　dear　mother's　spirit　in　him。　　First　came　a　crack

which　sent　a　long　dusky　white　hatthat　looked　damp　and　deep　like　a

well；　and　had　a　long　black　crape…rag　twisted　round　itfirst　came　a

crack　which　sent　this　white　hat　spinning　over　the　gentleman's　cab

and　scattered　among　the　crowd　a　vast　number　of　things　which　the

cabman　kept　in　it；such　as　a　ball　of　string；　a　piece　of　candle；　a

comb；　a　whip…lash；　a　little　warbler；　a　slice　of　bacon；　&c。　&c。



The　cabman　seemed　sadly　ashamed　of　this　display；　but　Tug　gave　him

no　time：　another　blow　was　planted　on　his　cheekbone；　and　a　third；

which　hit　him　straight　on　the　nose；　sent　this　rude　cabman　straight

down　to　the　ground。



〃Brayvo；　my　lord！〃　shouted　all　the　people　around。



〃I　won't　have　no　more；　thank　yer；〃　said　the　little　cabman；

gathering　himself　up。　　〃Give　us　over