burlesques-第111章

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〃THE　PASSAGE　OF　ARMS　AT　TUGGERIDGEVIILLE！



〃The　days　of　chivalry　are　NOT　past。　　The　fair　Castellane　of

T…gg…r…dgeville；　whose　splendid　entertainments　have　so　often　been

alluded　to　in　this　paper；　has　determined　to　give　one；　which　shall

exceed　in　splendor　even　the　magnificence　of　the　Middle　Ages。　　We　are

not　at　liberty　to　say　more；　but　a　tournament；　at　which　His　Ex…l…ncy

B…r…n　de　P…nt…r　and　Thomas　T…gr…g；　Esq。；　eldest　son　of　Sir　Ths

T…gr…g；　are　to　be　the　knights…defendants　against　all　comers；　a　QUEEN

OF　BEAUTY；　of　whose　loveliness　every　frequenter　of　fashion　has　felt

the　power；　a　banquet；　unexampled　in　the　annals　of　Gunter；　and　a

ball；　in　which　the　recollections　of　ancient　chivalry　will　blend

sweetly　with　the　soft　tones　of　Weippert　and　Collinet；　are　among　the

entertainments　which　the　Ladye　of　T…gg…ridgeville　has　prepared　for

her　distinguished　guests。〃





The　Baron　was　the　life　of　the　scheme；　he　longed　to　be　on　horseback；

and　in　the　field　at　Tuggeridgeville；　where　he；　Tagrag；　and　a　number

of　our　friends　practised：　he　was　the　very　best　tilter　present；　he

vaulted　over　his　horse；　and　played　such　wonderful　antics；　as　never

were　done　except　at　Ducrow's。



And　nowoh　that　I　had　twenty　pages；　instead　of　this　short　chapter；

to　describe　the　wonders　of　the　day！Twenty…four　knights　came　from

Ashley's　at　two　guineas　a　head。　　We　were　in　hopes　to　have　had　Miss

Woolford　in　the　character　of　Joan　of　Arc；　but　that　lady　did　not

appear。　　We　had　a　tent　for　the　challengers；　at　each　side　of　which

hung　what　they　called　ESCOACHINGS；　（like　hatchments；　which　they　put

up　when　people　die；）　and　underneath　sat　their　pages；　holding　their

helmets　for　the　tournament。　　Tagrag　was　in　brass　armor　（my　City

connections　got　him　that　famous　suit）；　his　Excellency　in　polished

steel。　　My　wife　wore　a　coronet；　modelled　exactly　after　that　of

Queen　Catharine；　in　〃Henry　V。；〃　a　tight　gilt　jacket；　which　set　off

dear　Jemmy's　figure　wonderfully；　and　a　train　of　at　least　forty

feet。　　Dear　Jemimarann　was　in　white；　her　hair　braided　with　pearls。

Madame　de　Flicflac　appeared　as　Queen　Elizabeth；　and　Lady　Blanche

Bluenose　as　a　Turkish　princess。　　An　alderman　of　London　and　his

lady；　two　magistrates　of　the　county；　and　the　very　pink　of　Croydon；

several　Polish　noblemen；　two　Italian　counts　（besides　our　Count）；

one　hundred　and　ten　young　officers；　from　Addiscombe　College；　in

full　uniform；　commanded　by　Major…General　Sir　Miles　Mulligatawney；

K。C。B。；　and　his　lady；　the　Misses　Pimminy's　Finishing　Establishment；

and　fourteen　young　ladies；　all　in　white：　the　Reverend　Doctor

Wapshot；　and　forty…nine　young　gentlemen；　of　the　first　families；

under　his　chargewere　SOME　only　of　the　company。　　I　leave　you　to

fancy　that；　if　my　Jemmy　did　seek　for　fashion；　she　had　enough　of　it

on　this　occasion。　　They　wanted　me　to　have　mounted　again；　but　my

hunting…day　had　been　sufficient；　besides；　I　ain't　big　enough

for　a　real　knight：　so；　as　Mrs。　Coxe　insisted　on　my　opening　the

Tournamentand　I　knew　it　was　in　vain　to　resistthe　Baron　and

Tagrag　had　undertaken　to　arrange　so　that　I　might　come　off　with

safety；　if　I　came　off　at　all。　　They　had　procured　from　the　Strand

Theatre　a　famous　stud　of　hobby…horses；　which　they　told　me　had　been

trained　for　the　use　of　the　great　Lord　Bateman。　　I　did　not　know

exactly　what　they　were　till　they　arrived；　but　as　they　had　belonged

to　a　lord；　I　thought　it　was　all　right；　and　consented；　and　I　found

it　the　best　sort　of　riding；　after　all；　to　appear　to　be　on　horseback

and　walk　safely　a…foot　at　the　same　time；　and　it　was　impossible　to

come　down　as　long　as　I　kept　on　my　own　legs：　besides；　I　could　cuff

and　pull　my　steed　about　as　much　as　I　liked；　without　fear　of　his

biting　or　kicking　in　return。　　As　Lord　of　the　Tournament；　they

placed　in　my　hands　a　lance；　ornamented　spirally；　in　blue　and　gold：

I　thought　of　the　pole　over　my　old　shop　door；　and　almost　wished

myself　there　again；　as　I　capered　up　to　the　battle　in　my　helmet　and

breastplate；　with　all　the　trumpets　blowing　and　drums　beating　at　the

time。　　Captain　Tagrag　was　my　opponent；　and　preciously　we　poked　each

other；　till；　prancing　about；　I　put　my　foot　on　my　horse's　petticoat

behind；　and　down　I　came；　getting　a　thrust　from　the　Captain；　at　the

same　time；　that　almost　broke　my　shoulder…bone。　　〃This　was

sufficient；〃　they　said；　〃for　the　laws　of　chivalry；〃　and　I　was　glad

to　get　off　so。



After　that　the　gentlemen　riders；　of　whom　there　were　no　less　than

seven；　in　complete　armor；　and　the　professionals；　now　ran　at　the

ring；　and　the　Baron　was　far；　far　the　most　skilful。



〃How　sweetly　the　dear　Baron　rides；〃　said　my　wife；　who　was　always

ogling　at　him；　smirking；　smiling；　and　waving　her　handkerchief　to

him。　　〃I　say；　Sam；〃　says　a　professional　to　one　of　his　friends；　as；

after　their　course；　they　came　cantering　up；　and　ranged　under

Jemmy's　bower；　as　she　called　it：〃I　say；　Sam；　I'm　blowed　if　that

chap　in　harmer　mustn't　have　been　one　of　hus。〃　　And　this　only　made

Jemmy　the　more　pleased；　for　the　fact　is；　the　Baron　had　chosen　the

best　way　of　winning　Jemimarann　by　courting　her　mother。



The　Baron　was　declared　conqueror　at　the　ring；　and　Jemmy　awarded　him

the　prize；　a　wreath　of　white　roses；　which　she　placed　on　his　lance；

he　receiving　it　gracefully；　and　bowing；　until　the　plumes　of　his

helmet　mingled　with　the　mane　of　his　charger；　which　backed　to　the

other　end　of　the　lists；　then　galloping　back　to　the　place　where

Jemimarann　was　seated；　he　begged　her　to　place　it　on　his　helmet。

The　poor　girl　blushed　very　much；　and　did　so。　　As　all　the　people

were　applauding；　Tagrag　rushed　up；　and；　laying　his　hand　on　the

Baron's　shoulder；　whispered　something　in　his　ear；　which　made　the

other　very　angry；　I　suppose；　for　he　shook　him　off　violently。

〃Chacun　pour　soi；〃　says　he；　〃Monsieur　de　Taguerague；〃which　means；

I　am　told；　〃Every　man　for　himself。〃　　And　then　he　rode　away；

throwing　his　lance　in　the　air；　catching　it；　and　making　his　horse

caper　and　prance；　to　the　admiration　of　all　beholders。



After　this　came　the　〃Passage　of　Arms。〃　　Tagrag　and　the　Baron　ran

courses　against　the　other　champions；　ay；　and　unhorsed　two　apiece；

whereupon　the　other　three　refused　to　turn　out；　and　preciously　we

laughed　at　them；　to　be　sure！



〃Now；　it's　OUR　turn；　Mr。　CHICOT；〃　says　Tagrag；　shaking　his　fist　at

the　Baron：　〃look　to　yourself；　you　infernal　mountebank；　for；　by

Jupiter；　I'll　do　my　best！〃　　And　before　Jemmy　and　the　rest　of　us；

who　were　quite　bewildered；　could　say　a　word；　these　two　friends　were

charging　away；　spears　in　hand；　ready　to　kill　each　other。　　In　vain

Jemmy　screamed；　in　vain　I　threw　down　my　truncheon：　they　had　broken

two　poles　before　I　could　say　〃Jack　Robinson；〃　and　were　driving　at

each　other　with　the　two　new　ones。　　The　Baron　had　the　worst　of　the

first　course；　for　he　had　almost　been　carried　out　of　his　saddle。

〃Hark　you；　Chicot！〃　screamed　out　Tagrag；　〃next　time　look　to　your

head！〃　　And　next　time；　sure　enough；　each　aimed　at　the　head　of　the

other。



Tagrag's　spear　hit　the　right　place；　for　it　carried　off　the　Baron's

helmet；　plume；　rose…wreath　and　all；　but　his　Excellency　hit　truer

stillhis　lance　took　Tagrag　on　the　neck；　and　sent　him　to　the

ground　like　a　stone。



〃He's　won！　he's　won！〃　says　Jemmy；　waving　her　handkerchief；

Jemimarann　fainted；　Lady　Blanche　screamed；　and　I　felt　so　sick　that

I　thought　I　should　drop。　　All　the　company　were　in　an　uproar：　only

the　Baron　looked　calm；　and　bowed　very　gracefully；　and　kissed　his

hand　to　Jemmy；　when；　all　of　a　sudden；　a　Jewish…looking　man

springing　over　the　barrier；　and　followed　by　three　more；　rushed

towards　the　Baron。　　〃Keep　the　gate；　Bob！〃　he　holloas　out。　　〃Baron；

I　arrest　you；　at　the　suit　of　Samuel　Levison；　for〃



But　he　never　said　for　what；　shouting　out；　〃Aha！〃　and　〃Sapprrrristie！〃

and　I　don't　know　what；　his　Excellency　drew　his　sword；　dug　his　spurs

into　his　horse；　and　was　over　the　poor　bailiff；　and　off　before

another　word。　　He　had　threatened　to　run　through　one　of　the　bailiff's

followers；　Mr。　Stubbs；　only　that　gentleman　made　way