the island pharisees-第49章

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blossoms　seemed　to　be　rising　at　him　through　the　darkness；　as　though

putting　up　their　faces　to　be　kissed。　　He　straightened　himself

abruptly　and　went　in。



The　guests　were　leaving　when　Shelton；　who　was　watching；　saw　Antonia

slip　through　the　drawing…room　window。　　He　could　follow　the　white

glimmer　of　her　frock　across　the　lawn；　but　lost　it　in　the　shadow　of

the　trees；　casting　a　hasty　look　to　see　that　he　was　not　observed；　he

too　slipped　out。　　The　blackness　and　the　heat　were　stifling　he　took

great　breaths　of　it　as　if　it　were　the　purest　mountain　air；　and；

treading　softly　on　the　grass；　stole　on　towards　the　holm　oak。　　His

lips　were　dry；；his　heart　beat　painfully。　　The　mutter　of　the　distant

thunder　had　quite　ceased；　waves　of　hot　air　came　wheeling　in　his　face；

and　in　their　midst　a　sudden　rush　of　cold。　　He　thought；　〃The　storm　is

coming　now！〃　　and　stole　on　towards　the　tree。　　She　was　lying　in　the

hammock；　her　figure　a　white　blur　in；　the　heart　of　the　tree's　shadow；

rocking　gently　to　a　little　creaking　of　the　branch。　　Shelton　held　his

breath；　she　had　not　heard　him。　　He　crept　up　close　behind　the　trunk

till　he　stood　in　touch　of　her。　　〃I　mustn't　startle　her；〃　he　thought。

〃Antonia！〃



There　was　a　faint　stir　in　the　hammock；　but　no　answer。　　He　stood　over

her；　but　even　then　he　could　not　see　her　face；　he　only；　had　a　sense　of

something　breathing　and　alive　within　a　yard　of　himof　something　warm

and　soft。　　He　whispered　again；　〃Antonia！〃　but　again　there　came　no

answer；　and　a　sort　of　fear　and　frenzy　seized　on　him。　　He　could　no

longer　hear　her　breathe；　the　creaking　of　the　branch　had　ceased。　　What

was　passing　in　that　silent；　living　creature　there　so　close？　　And　then

he　heard　again　the　sound　of　breathing；　quick　and　scared；　like　the

fluttering　of　a　bird；　in　a　moment　he　was　staring　in　the　dark　at　an

empty　hammock。



He　stayed　beside　the　empty　hammock　till　he　could　bear　uncertainty　no

longer。　　But　as　he　crossed　the　lawn　the　sky　was　rent　from　end　to　end

by　jagged　lightning；　rain　spattered　him　from　head　to　foot；　and　with　a

deafening　crack　the　thunder　broke。



He　sought　the　smoking…room；　but；　recoiling　at　the　door；　went　to　his

own　room；　and　threw　himself　down　on　the　bed。　　The　thunder　groaned　and

sputtered　in　long　volleys；　the　lightning　showed　him　the　shapes　of

things　within　the　room；　with　a　weird　distinctness　that　rent　from　them

all　likeness　to　the　purpose　they　were　made　for；　bereaved　them　of

utility；　of　their　matter…of…factness；　presented　them　as　skeletons；

abstractions；　with　indecency　in　their　appearance；　like　the　naked

nerves　and　sinews　of　a　leg　preserved　in；　spirit。　　The　sound　of　the

rain　against　the　house　stunned　his　power　of　thinking；　he　rose　to　shut

his　windows；　then；　returning　to　his　bed；　threw　himself　down　again。

He　stayed　there　till　the　storm　was　over；　in　a　kind　of　stupor；　but

when　the　boom　of　the　retreating　thunder　grew　every　minute　less

distinct；　he　rose。　　Then　for　the　first　time　he　saw　something　white

close　by　the　door。



It　was　a　note：



I　have　made　a　mistake。　　Please　forgive　me；　and　go　away。ANTONIA。









CHAPTER　XXXII



WILDERNESS



When　he　had　read　this　note；　Shelton　put　it　down　beside　his　sleeve…

links　on　his　dressing　table；　stared　in　the　mirror　at　himself；　and

laughed。　But　his　lips　soon　stopped　him　laughing；　he　threw　himself

upon　his　bed　and　pressed　his　face　into　the　pillows。　　He　lay　there

half…dressed　throughout　the　night；　and　when　he　rose；　soon　after　dawn；

he　had　not　made　his　mind　up　what　to　do。　　The　only　thing　he　knew　for

certain　was　that　he　must　not　meet　Antonia。



At　last　he　penned　the　following：



I　have　had　a　sleepless　night　with　toothache；　and　think　it　best　to　run

up　to　the　dentist　at　once。　　If　a　tooth　must　come　out；　the　sooner　the

better。



He　addressed　it　to　Mrs。　Dennant；　and　left　it　on　his　table。　　After

doing　this　he　threw　himself　once　more　upon　his　bed；　and　this　time

fell　into　a　doze。



He　woke　with　a　start；　dressed；　and　let　himself　quietly　out。　　The

likeness　of　his　going　to　that　of　Ferrand　struck　him。　　〃Both　outcasts

now；〃　he　thought。



He　tramped　on　till　noon　without　knowing　or　caring　where　he　went；

then；　entering　a　field；　threw　himself　down　under　the　hedge；　and　fell

asleep。



He　was　awakened　by　a　whirr。　　A　covey　of　partridges；　with　wings

glistening　in　the　sun；　were　straggling　out　across　the　adjoining　field

of　mustard。　　They　soon　settled　in　the　old…maidish　way　of　partridges；

and　began　to　call　upon　each　other。



Some　cattle　had　approached　him　in　his　sleep；　and　a　beautiful　bay　cow；

with　her　head　turned　sideways；　was　snuffing　at　him　gently；　exhaling

her　peculiar　sweetness。　　She　was　as　fine　in　legs　and　coat　as　any

race…horse。　　She　dribbled　at　the　corners　of　her　black；　moist　lips；

her　eye　was　soft　and　cynical。　　Breathing　the　vague　sweetness　of　the

mustard…field；　rubbing　dry　grasp…stalks　in　his　fingers；　Shelton　had　a

moment's　happinessthe　happiness　of　sun　and　sky；　of　the　eternal

quiet；　and　untold　movements　of　the　fields。　　Why　could　not　human

beings　let　their　troubles　be　as　this　cow　left　the　flies　that　clung

about　her　eyes？　　He　dozed　again；　and　woke　up　with　a　laugh；　for　this

was　what　he　dreamed：



He　fancied　he　was　in　a　room；　at　once　the　hall　and　drawing…room　of

some　country　house。　　In　the　centre　of　this　room　a　lady　stood；　who　was

looking　in　a　hand…glass　at　her　face。　　Beyond　a　door　or　window　could

be　seen　a　garden　with　a　row　of　statues；　and　through　this　door　people

passed　without　apparent　object。



Suddenly　Shelton　saw　his　mother　advancing　to　the　lady　with　the　hand…

glass；　whom　now　he　recognised　as　Mrs。　Foliot。　　But；　as　he　looked；　his

mother　changed　to　Mrs。　Dennant；　and　began　speaking　in　a　voice　that

was　a　sort　of　abstract　of　refinement。　　〃Je　fais　de　la　philosophic；〃

it　said；　〃I　take　the　individual　for　what　she's　worth。　　I　do　not

condemn；　above　all；　one　must　have　spirit！〃　　The　lady　with　the　mirror

continued　looking　in　the　glass；　and；　though　he　could　not　see　her

face；　he　could　see　its　image…pale；　with　greenish　eyes；　and　a　smile

like　scorn　itself。　　Then；　by　a　swift　transition；　he　was　walking　in

the　garden　talking　to　Mrs。　Dennant。



It　was　from　this　talk　that　he　awoke　with　laughter。　　〃But；〃　she　had

been　saying；　〃Dick；　I've　always　been　accustomed　to　believe　what　I　was

told。　　It　was　so　unkind　of　her　to　scorn　me　just　because　I　happen　to

be　second…hand。〃　　And　her　voice　awakened　Shelton's　pity；　it　was　like

a　frightened　child's。　　〃I　don't　know　what　I　shall　do　if　I　have　to

form　opinions　for　myself。　　I　was　n't　brought　up　to　it。　　I　've　always

had　them　nice　and　secondhand。　　How　am　I　to　go　to　work？　　One　must

believe　what　other　people　do；　not　that　I　think　much　of　other　people；

but；　you　do　know　what　it　isone　feels　so　much　more　comfortable；〃　and

her　skirts　rustled。　　〃But；　Dick；　whatever　happens〃her　voice

entreated〃do　let　Antonia　get　her　judgments　secondhand。　　Never　mind

for　meif　I　must　form　opinions　for　myself；　I　mustbut　don't　let

her；　any　old　opinions　so　long　as　they　are　old。　　It　's　dreadful　to

have　to　think　out　new　ones　for　oneself。〃　　And　he　awoke。　　His　dream

had　had　in　it　the　element　called　Art；　for；　in　its　gross　absurdity；

Mrs。　Dennant　had　said　things　that　showed　her　soul　more　fully　than

anything　she　would　have　said　in　life。



〃No；〃　said　a　voice　quite　close；　behind　the　hedge；　〃not　many

Frenchmen；　thank　the　Lord！　　A　few　coveys　of　Hungarians　over　from　the

Duke's。　　Sir　James；　some　pie？〃



Shelton　raised　himself　with　drowsy　curiositystill　half　asleepand

applied　his　face　to　a　gap　in　the　high；　thick　osiers　of　the　hedge。

Four　men　were　seated　on　camp…stools　round　a　folding…table；　on　which

was　a　pie　and　other　things　to　eat。　　A　game…cart；　well…adorned　with

birds　and　hares；　stood　at　a　short　distance；　the　tails　of　some　dogs

were　seen　moving　humbly；　and　a　valet　opening　bottles。　　Shelton　had

forgotten　that　it　was　〃the　first。〃　　The　host　was　a　soldierly　and

freckled　man；　an　older　man　sat　next　him；　square…jawed；　with　an

absent…looking　eye　and　sharpen