the island pharisees-第44章

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never　tired　of　doing　things　for　his　young　protege；　as　though　she　too

had　set　her　heart　on　his　salvation；　but；　watching　her　eyes　when　they

rested　on　the　vagabond；　Shelton　was　perpetually　reminded　of　her

saying　on　the　first　day　of　his　visit　to　Holm　Oaks；　〃I　suppose　he　's

really　goodI　mean　all　these　things　you　told　me　about　were　only。。。。〃



Curiosity　never　left　her　glance；　nor　did　that　story　of　his　four　days'

starving　leave　her　mind；　a　sentimental　picturesqueness　clung　about

that　incident　more　valuable　by　far　than　this　mere　human　being　with

whom　she　had　so　strangely　come　in　contact。　　She　watched　Ferrand；　and

Shelton　watched　her。　　If　he　had　been　told　that　he　was　watching　her；

he　would　have　denied　it　in　good　faith；　but　he　was　bound　to　watch　her；

to　find　out　with　what　eyes　she　viewed　this　visitor　who　embodied　all

the　rebellious　under…side　of　life；　all　that　was　absent　in　herself。



〃Dick；〃　she　said　to　him　one　day；　〃you　never　talk　to　me　of　Monsieur

Ferrand。〃



〃Do　you　want　to　talk　of　him？〃



〃Don't　you　think　that　he's　improved？〃



〃He's　fatter。〃



Antonia　looked　grave。



〃No；　but　really？〃



〃I　don't　know；〃　said　Shelton；　〃I　can't　judge　him。〃



Antonia　turned　her　face　away；　and　something　in　her　attitude　alarmed

him。



〃He　was　once　a　sort　of　gentleman；〃　she　said；　〃why　shouldn't　he　become

one　again？〃



Sitting　on　the　low　wall　of　the　kitchen…garden；　her　head　was　framed　by

golden　plums。　　The　sun　lay　barred　behind　the　foliage　of　the　holm　oak；

but　a　little　patch　filtering　through　a　gap　had　rested　in　the　plum…

tree's　heart。　　It　crowned　the　girl。　　Her　raiment；　the　dark　leaves；

the　red　wall；　the　golden　plums；　were　woven　by　the　passing　glow　to　a

block　of　pagan　colour。　　And　her　face　above　it；　chaste；　serene；　was

like　the　scentless　summer　evening。　　A　bird　amongst　the　currant　bushes

kept　a　little　chant　vibrating；　and　all　the　plum…tree's　shape　and

colour　seemed　alive。



〃Perhaps　he　does　n't　want　to　be　a　gentleman；〃　said　Shelton。



Antonia　swung　her　foot。



〃How　can　he　help　wanting　to？〃



〃He　may　have　a　different　philosophy　of　life。〃



Antonia　was　slow　to　answer。



〃I　know　nothing　about　philosophies　of　life；〃　she　said　at　last。



Shelton　answered　coldly；



〃No　two　people　have　the　same。〃



With　the　falling　sun…glow　the　charm　passed　off　the　tree。　　Chilled　and

harder；　yet　less　deep；　it　was　no　more　a　block　of　woven　colour；　warm

and　impassive；　like　a　southern　goddess；　it　was　now　a　northern　tree；

with　a　grey　light　through　its　leaves。



〃I　don't　understand　you　in　the　least；〃　she　said；　〃everyone　wishes　to

be　good。〃



〃And　safe？〃　asked　Shelton　gently。



Antonia　stared。



〃Suppose；〃　he　said〃I　don't　pretend　to　know；　I　only　supposewhat

Ferrand　really　cares　for　is　doing　things　differently　from　other

people？　　If　you　were　to　load　him　with　a　character　and　give　him　money

on　condition　that　he　acted　as　we　all　act；　do　you　think　he　would

accept　it？〃



〃Why　not？〃



〃Why　are　n't　cats　dogs；　or　pagans　Christians？〃



Antonia　slid　down　from　the　wall。



〃You　don't　seem　to　think　there　's　any　use　in　trying；〃　she　said；　and

turned　away。



Shelton　made　a　movement　as　if　he　would　go　after　her；　and　then　stood

still；　watching　her　figure　slowly　pass；　her　head　outlined　above　the

wall；　her　hands　turned　back　across　her　narrow　hips。　　She　halted　at

the　bend；　looked　back；　then；　with　an　impatient　gesture；　disappeared。



Antonia　was　slipping　from　him！



A　moment's　vision　from　without　himself　would　have　shown　him　that　it

was　he　who　moved　and　she　who　was　standing　still；　like　the　figure　of

one　watching　the　passage　of　a　stream　with　clear；　direct；　and　sullen

eyes。









CHAPTER　XXVIII



THE　RIVER



One　day　towards　the　end　of　August　Shelton　took　Antonia　on　the　river

the　river　that；　like　soft　music；　soothes　the　land；　the　river　of　the

reeds　and　poplars；　the　silver　swan…sails；　sun　and　moon；　woods；　and

the　white　slumbrous　clouds；　where　cuckoos；　and　the　wind；　the　pigeons；

and　the　weirs　are　always　singing；　and　in　the　flash　of　naked　bodies；

the　play　of　waterlily　leaves；　queer　goblin　stumps；　and　the　twilight

faces　of　the　twisted　tree…roots；　Pan　lives　once　more。



The　reach　which　Shelton　chose　was　innocent　of　launches；　champagne

bottles　and　loud　laughter；　it　was　uncivilised；　and　seldom　troubled　by

these　humanising　influences。　　He　paddled　slowly；　silent　and　absorbed；

watching　Antonia。　　An　unaccustomed　languor　clung　about　her；　her　eyes

had　shadows；　as　though　she　had　not　slept；　colour　glowed　softly　in　her

cheeks；　her　frock　seemed　all　alight　with　golden　radiance。　　She　made

Shelton　pull　into　the　reeds；　and　plucked　two　rounded　lilies　sailing

like　ships　against　slow…moving　water。



〃Pull　into　the　shade；　please；〃　she　said；　it's　too　hot　out　here。〃



The　brim　of　her　linen　hat　kept　the　sun　from　her　face；　but　her　head

was　drooping　like　a　flower's　head　at　noon。



Shelton　saw　that　the　heat　was　really　harming　her；　as　too　hot　a　day

will　dim　the　icy　freshness　of　a　northern　plant。　　He　dipped　his

sculls；　the　ripples　started　out　and　swam　in　grave　diminuendo　till

they　touched　the　banks。



He　shot　the　boat　into　a　cleft；　and　caught　the　branches　of　an

overhanging　tree。　　The　skiff　rested；　balancing　with　mutinous

vibration；　like　a　living　thing。



〃I　should　hate　to　live　in　London；〃　said　Antonia　suddenly；〃　the　slums

must　be　so　awful。　　What　a　pity；　when　there　are　places　like　this！　　But

it's　no　good　thinking。〃



〃No；〃　answered　Shelton　slowly！　　〃I　suppose　it　is　no　good。〃



〃There　are　some　bad　cottages　at　the　lower　end　of　Cross　Eaton。　　I　went

them　one　day　with　Miss　Truecote。　　The　people　won't　help　themselves。

It's　so　discouraging　to　help　people　who　won't　help　themselves。〃



She　was　leaning　her　elbows　on　her　knees；　and；　with　her　chin　resting

on　her　hands；　gazed　up　at　Shelton。　　All　around　them　hung　a　tent　of

soft；　thick　leaves；　and；　below；　the　water　was　deep…dyed　with　green

refraction。　　Willow　boughs；　swaying　above　the　boat；　caressed

Antonia's　arms　and　shoulders；　her　face　and　hair　alone　were　free。



〃So　discouraging；〃　she　said　again。



A　silence　fell。。。。　　Antonia　seemed　thinking　deeply。



〃Doubts　don't　help　you；〃　she　said　suddenly；　〃how　can　you　get　any　good

from　doubts？　　The　thing　is　to　win　victories。〃



〃Victories？〃　said　Shelton。　　〃I　'd　rather　understand　than　conquer！〃



He　had　risen　to　his　feet；　and　grasped　stunted　branch；　canting　the

boat　towards　the　bank。



〃How　can　you　let　things　slide　like　that；　Dick？　　It's　like　Ferrand。〃



〃Have　you　such　a　bad　opinion　of　him；　then？〃　asked　Shelton。　　He　felt

on　the　verge　of　some；　discovery。



She　buried　her　chin　deeper　in　her　hands。



〃I　liked　him　at　first；〃　she　said；　〃I　thought　that　he　was　different。

I　thought　he　couldn't　really　be…〃



〃Really　be　what？〃



Antonia　did　not　answer。



〃I　don't　know；〃　she　said　at　last。　　〃I　can't　explain。　　I　thought…〃



Shelton　still　stood；　holding　to　the　branch；　and　the　oscillation　of

the　boat　freed　an　infinity　of　tiny　ripples。



〃You　thoughtwhat？〃　he　said。



He　ought　to　have　seen　her　face　grow　younger；　more　childish；　even

timid。　　She　said　in　a　voice　smooth；　round；　and　young：



〃You　know；　Dick；　I　do　think　we　ought　to　try。　　I　know　I　don't　try　half

hard　enough。　　It　does　n't　do　any　good　to　think；　when　you　think；

everything　seems　so　mixed；　as　if　there　were　nothing　to　lay　hold　of。

I　do　so　hate　to　feel　like　that。　　It　is　n't　as　if　we　didn't　know

what's　right。　　Sometimes　I　think；　and　think；　and　it　's　all　no　good；

only　a　waste　of　time；　and　you　feel　at　the　end　as　if　you　had　been

doing　wrong。〃



Shelton　frowned。



〃What　has　n't　been　through　fire's　no　good；〃　he　said；　and；　letting　go

the　branch；　sat　down。　　Freed　from　restraint；　the　boat　edged　out

towards　the　current。　　〃But　what　about　Ferrand？〃



〃I　lay　awake　last　night　wondering　what　makes　you　like　him　so。　　He's

so　bitter；　he　makes　me　feel　unhappy。　　He　never　seems　content　with

anything。　　And　he　desp