the island pharisees-第39章

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Antonia　gazed　at　him　across　her　shoulder；　puzzled　and　inquiring　was

her　face。



〃I'm　not　a　bit　like　you；〃　she　said。　　〃What　will　you　have　for　your

room？〃



〃Choose！〃



〃Cornflowers　and　clove　pinks。　　Poppies　are　too　frivolous；　and　pinks

too…〃



〃White；〃　said　Shelton。



〃And　mignonette　too　hard　and…〃



〃Sweet。　　Why　cornflowers？〃



Antonia　stood　before　him　with　her　hands　against　her　sides；　her　figure

was　so　slim　and　young；　her　face　uncertain　and　so　grave。



〃Because　they're　dark　and　deep。〃



〃And　why　clove　pinks？〃



Antonia　did　not　answer。



〃And　why　clove　pinks？〃



〃Because；〃　she　said；　and；　flushing；　touched　a　bee　that　had　settled　on

her　skirt；　〃because　of　something　in　you　I　don't　understand。〃



〃Ah！　　And　what　flowers　shall　t　give　YOU？〃



She　put　her　hands　behind　her。



〃There　are　all　the　other　flowers　for　me。〃



Shelton　snatched　from　the　mass　in　front　of　him　an　Iceland　poppy　with

straight　stem　and　a　curved　neck；　white　pinks；　and　sprigs　of　hard；

sweet　mignonette；　and　held　it　out　to　her。



〃There；〃　he　said；　〃that's　you。〃　　But　Antonia　did　not　move。



〃Oh　no；　it　is　n't！〃　and　behind　her　back　her　fingers　slowly　crushed

the　petals　of　a　blood…red　poppy。　　She　shook　her　head；　smiling　a

brilliant　smile。　　The　blossoms　fell；　he　flung　his　arms　around　her；

and　kissed　her　on　the　lips。



But　his　hands　dropped；　not　fear　exactly；　nor　exactly　shame；　had　come

to　him。　　She　had　not　resisted；　but　he　had　kissed　the　smile　away；　had

kissed　a　strange；　cold；　frightened　look；　into　her　eyes。



〃She　did　n't　mean　to　tempt　me；　then；〃　he　thought；　in　surprise　and

anger。　　〃What　did　she　mean？〃　and；　like　a　scolded　dog；　he　kept　his

troubled　watch　upon　her　face。









CHAPTER　XXV



THE　RIDE



〃Where　now？〃　Antonia　asked；　wheeling　her　chestnut　mare；　as　they

turned　up　High　Street；　Oxford　City。　　〃I　won't　go　back　the　same　way；

Dick！〃



〃We　could　have　a　gallop　on　Port　Meadow；　cross　the　Upper　River　twice；

and　get　home　that　way；　but　you　'll　be　tired。〃



Antonia　shook　her　head。　　Aslant　her　cheek　the　brim　of　a　straw　hat

threw　a　curve　of　shade；　her　ear　glowed　transparent　in　the　sun。



A　difference　had　come　in　their　relations　since　that　kiss；　outwardly

she　was　the　same　good　comrade；　cool　and　quick。　　But　as　before　a

change　one　feels　the　subtle　difference　in　the　temper　of　the　wind；　so

Shelton　was　affected　by　the　inner　change　in　her。　　He　had　made　a　blot

upon　her　candour；　he　had　tried　to　rub　it　out　again；　but　there　was

left　a　mark；　and　it　was　ineffaceable。　　Antonia　belonged　to　the　most

civilised　division　of　the　race　most　civilised　in　all　the　world；　whose

creed　is　〃Let　us　love　and　hate；　let　us　work　and　marry；　but　let　us

never　give　ourselves　away；　to　give　ourselves　away　is　to　leave　a　mark；

and　that　is　past　forgive　ness。　　Let　our　lives　be　like　our　faces；　free

from　every　kind　of　wrinkle；　even　those　of　laughter；　in　this　way　alone

can　we　be　really　civilised。〃



He　felt　that　she　was　ruffled　by　a　vague　discomfort。　　That　he　should

give　himself　away　was　natural；　perhaps；　and　only　made　her　wonder；　but

that　he　should　give　her　the　feeling　that　she　had　given　herself　away

was　a　very　different　thing。



〃Do　you　mind　if　I　just　ask　at　the　Bishop's　Head　for　letters？〃　he

said；　as　they　passed　the　old　hotel。



A　dirty　and　thin　envelope　was　brought　to　him；　addressed　〃Mr。　Richard

Shelton；　Esq。；〃　in　handwriting　that　was　passionately　clear；　as　though

the　writer　had　put　his　soul　into　securing　delivery　of　the　letter。　　It

was　dated　three　days　back；　and；　as　they　rode　away；　Shelton　read　as

follows：



　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　IMPERIAL　PEACOCK　HOTEL；

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　FOLKESTONE。



MON　CHER　MONSIEUR　SHELTON；



This　is　already　the　third　time　I　have　taken　up　pen　to　write　to　you；

but；　having　nothing　but　misfortune　to　recount；　I　hesitated；　awaiting

better　days。　　Indeed；　I　have　been　so　profoundly　discouraged　that　if　I

had　not　thought　it　my　duty　to　let　you　know　of　my　fortunes　I　know　not

even　now　if　I　should　have　found　the　necessary　spirit。　　'Les　choses

vont　de　mal　en　mal'。　　From　what　I　hear　there　has　never　been　so　bad　a

season　here。　　Nothing　going　on。　　All　the　same；　I　am　tormented　by　a

mob　of　little　matters　which　bring　me　not　sufficient　to　support　my

life。　　I　know　not　what　to　do；　one　thing　is　certain；　in　no　case　shall

I　return　here　another　year。　　The　patron　of　this　hotel；　my　good

employer；　is　one　of　those　innumerable　specimens　who　do　not　forge　or

steal　because　they　have　no　need；　and　if　they　had　would　lack　the

courage；　who　observe　the　marriage　laws　because　they　have　been　brought

up　to　believe　in　them；　and　know　that　breaking　them　brings　risk　and

loss　of　reputation；　who　do　not　gamble　because　they　dare　not；　do　not

drink　because　it　disagrees　with　them；　go　to　church　because　their

neighbours　go；　and　to　procure　an　appetite　for　the　mid…day　meal；

commit　no　murder　because；　not　transgressing　in　any　other　fashion；

they　are　not　obliged。　　What　is　there　to　respect　in　persons　of　this

sort？　　Yet　they　are　highly　esteemed；　and　form　three　quarters　of

Society。　　The　rule　with　these　good　gentlemen　is　to　shut　their　eyes；

never　use　their　thinking　powers；　and　close　the　door　on　all　the　dogs

of　life　for　fear　they　should　get　bitten。



Shelton　paused；　conscious　of　Antonia's　eyes　fixed　on　him　with　the

inquiring　look　that　he　had　come　to　dread。　　In　that　chilly　questioning

she　seemed　to　say：　〃I　am　waiting。　　I　am　prepared　to　be　told　things

that　is；　useful　thingsthings　that　help　one　to　believe　without　the

risk　of　too　much　thinking。〃



〃It's　from　that　young　foreigner；〃　he　said；　and　went　on　reading　to

himself。



I　have　eyes；　and　here　I　am；　I　have　a　nose　'pour；　flairer　le　humbug'。

I　see　that　amongst　the　value　of　things　nothing　is　the　equal　of　〃free

thought。〃　　Everything　else　they　can　take　from　me；　'on　ne　pent　pas

m'oter　cela'！　　I　see　no　future　for　me　here；　and　certainly　should　have

departed　long　ago　if　I　had　had　the　money；　but；　as　I　have　already　told

you；　all　that　I　can　do　barely　suffices　to　procure　me　'de　quoi　vivre'。

'Je　me　sens　ecceuye'。　　Do　not　pay　too　much　attention　to　my　Jeremiads；

you　know　what　a　pessimist　I　am。　　'Je　ne　perds　pas　courage'。



Hoping　that　you　are　well；　and　in　the　cordial　pressing　of　your　hand；　I

subscribe　myself；



　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Your　very　devoted



　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　LOUIS　FERRAND。





He　rode　with　the　letter　open　in　his　hand；　frowning　at　the　curious

turmoil　which　Ferrand　excited　in　his　heart。　　It　was　as　though　this

foreign　vagrant　twanged　within　him　a　neglected　string；　which　gave

forth　moans　of　a　mutiny。



〃What　does　he　say？〃　Antonia　asked。



Should　he　show　it　to　her？　　If　he　might　not；　what　should　he　do　when

they　were　married？



〃I　don't　quite　know；〃　he　said　at　last；　〃it　's　not　particularly

cheering。〃'



〃What　is　he　like；　DickI　mean；　to　look　at？　　Like　a　gentleman；　or

what？〃



Shelton　stifled　a　desire　to　laugh。



〃He　looks　very　well　in　a　frock…coat；〃　he　replied；　〃his　father　was　a

wine　merchant。〃



Antonia　flicked　her　whip　against　her　skirt。



〃Of　course；〃　she　murmured；　〃I　don't　want　to　hear　if　there's　anything

I　ought　not。〃



But　instead　of　soothing　Shelton；　these　words　had　just　the　opposite

effect。　　His　conception　of　the　ideal　wife　was　not　that　of　one　from

whom　the　half　of　life　must　be　excluded。



〃It's　only；〃　he　stammered　again；　〃that　it's　not　cheerful。〃



〃Oh；　all　right！〃　　she　cried；　and；　touching　her　horse；　flew　off　in

front。　　〃I　hate　dismal　things。〃



Shelton　bit　his　lips。　　It　was　not　his　fault　that　half　the　world　was

dark。　　He　knew　her　words　were　loosed　against　himself；　and；　as　always

at　a　sign　of　her　displeasure；　was　afraid。　　He　galloped　after　her　on

the　scorched　turf。



〃　What　is　it？〃　he　said。　　〃You　're　angry　with　me！〃



〃Oh　no！〃



〃Darling；　I　can't　help　it　if　things　are　n't　cheerful。　　We　have　eyes；〃

he　added；　quoting　from　the　letter。



Antonia　did　not　l