the island pharisees-第16章
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cigarette。 〃When you've starved a few times; your eyes are opened。
'Savoir; c'est mon metier; mais remarquez ceci; monsieur': It 's not
always the intellectuals who succeed。〃
〃When you get a job;〃 said Shelton; 〃you throw it away; I suppose。〃
〃You accuse me of restlessness? Shall I explain what I think about
that? I'm restless because of ambition; I want to reconquer an
independent position。 I put all my soul into my trials; but as soon
as I see there's no future for me in that line; I give it up and go
elsewhere。 'Je ne veux pas etre rond de cuir;' breaking my back to
economise sixpence a day; and save enough after forty years to drag
out the remains of an exhausted existence。 That's not in my
character。〃 This ingenious paraphrase of the words 〃I soon get tired
of things〃 he pronounced with an air of letting Shelton into a
precious secret。
〃Yes; it must be hard;〃 agreed the latter。
Ferrand shrugged his shoulders。
〃It's not all butter;〃 he replied; 〃one is obliged to do things that
are not too delicate。 There's nothing I pride myself on but
frankness。〃
Like a good chemist; however; he administered what Shelton could
stand in a judicious way。 〃Yes; yes;〃 he seemed to say; 〃you'd like
me to think that you have a perfect knowledge of life: no morality;
no prejudices; no illusions; you'd like me to think that you feel
yourself on an equality with me; one human animal talking to another;
without any barriers of position; money; clothes; or the rest'ca
c'est un peu trop fort'! You're as good an imitation as I 've come
across in your class; notwithstanding your unfortunate education; and
I 'm grateful to you; but to tell you everything; as it passes
through my mind would damage my prospects。 You can hardly expect
that。〃
In one of Shelton's old frock…coats he was impressive; with his air
of natural; almost sensitive refinement。 The room looked as if it
were accustomed to him; and more amazing still was the sense of
familiarity that he inspired; as; though he were a part of Shelton's
soul。 It came as a shock to realise that this young foreign vagabond
had taken such a place within his thoughts。 The pose of his limbs
and head; irregular but not ungraceful; his disillusioned lips; the
rings of smoke that issued from themall signified rebellion; and
the overthrow of law and order。 His thin; lopsided nose; the rapid
glances of his goggling; prominent eyes; were subtlety itself; he
stood for discontent with the accepted。
〃How do I live when I am on the tramp?〃 he said。 〃well; there are
the consuls。 The system is not delicate; but when it's a question of
starving; much is permissible; besides; these gentlemen were created
for the purpose。 There's a coterie of German Jews in Paris living
entirely upon consuls。〃 He hesitated for the fraction of a second;
and resumed: 〃Yes; monsieur; if you have papers that fit you; you can
try six or seven consuls in a single town。 You must know a language
or two; but most of these gentlemen are not too well up in the
tongues of the country they represent。 Obtaining money under false
pretences? Well; it is。 But what's the difference at bottom between
all this honourable crowd of directors; fashionable physicians;
employers of labour; ferry…builders; military men; country priests;
and consuls themselves perhaps; who take money and give no value for
it; and poor devils who do the same at far greater risk? Necessity
makes the law。 If those gentlemen were in my position; do you think
that they would hesitate?〃
Shelton's face remaining doubtful; Ferrand went on instantly: 〃You're
right; they would; from fear; not principle。 One must be hard
pressed before committing these indelicacies。 Look deep enough; and
you will see what indelicate things are daily done by the respectable
for not half so good a reason as the want of meals。〃
Shelton also took a cigarettehis own income was derived from
property for which he gave no value in labour。
〃I can give you an instance;〃 said Ferrand; 〃of what can be done by
resolution。 One day in a German town; 'etant dans la misere'; I
decided to try the French consul。 Well; as you know; I am a Fleming;
but something had to be screwed out somewhere。 He refused to see me;
I sat down to wait。 After about two hours a voice bellowed: 'Has n't
the brute gone?' and my consul appears。 'I 've nothing for fellows
like you;' says he; 'clear out!'
〃'Monsieur;' I answered; 'I am skin and bone; I really must have
assistance。'
〃'Clear out;' he says; 'or the police shall throw you out!'
〃I don't budge。 Another hour passes; and back he comes again。
〃'Still here?' says he。 'Fetch a sergeant。'
〃The sergeant comes。
〃'Sergeant;' says the consul; 'turn this creature out。'
〃'Sergeant;' I say; 'this house is France!' Naturally; I had
calculated upon that。 In Germany they're not too fond of those who
undertake the business of the French。
〃'He is right;' says the sergeant; 'I can do nothing。'
〃'You refuse?'
〃'Absolutely。' And he went away。
〃'What do you think you'll get by staying?' says my consul。
〃'I have nothing to eat or drink; and nowhere to sleep;' says I。
〃'What will you go for?'
〃'Ten marks。'
〃'Here; then; get out!' I can tell you; monsieur; one must n't have a
thin skin if one wants to exploit consuls。〃
His yellow fingers slowly rolled the stump of his cigarette; his
ironical lips flickered。 Shelton thought of his own ignorance of
life。 He could not recollect ever having gone without a meal。
〃I suppose;〃 he said feebly; 〃you've often starved。〃 For; having
always been so well fed; the idea of starvation was attractive。
Ferrand smiled。
〃Four days is the longest;〃 said he。 〃You won't believe that story。
。 。 。 It was in Paris; and I had lost my money on the race…course。
There was some due from home which didn't come。 Four days and nights
I lived on water。 My clothes were excellent; and I had jewellery;
but I never even thought of pawning them。 I suffered most from the
notion that people might guess my state。 You don't recognise me
now?〃
〃How old were you then?〃 said Shelton。
〃Seventeen; it's curious what one's like at that age。
By a flash of insight Shelton saw the well…dressed boy; with
sensitive; smooth face; always on the move about the streets of
Paris; for fear that people should observe the condition of his
stomach。 The story was a valuable commentary。 His thoughts were
brusquely interrupted; looking in Ferrand's face; he saw to his
dismay tears rolling down his cheeks。
〃I 've suffered too much;〃 he stammered; 〃what do I care now what
becomes of me?〃
Shelton was disconcerted; he wished 'to say something sympathetic;
but; being an Englishman; could only turn away his eyes。
〃Your turn 's coming;〃 he said at last。
〃Ah! when you've lived my life;〃 broke out his visitor; 〃nothing 's
any good。 My heart's in rags。 Find me anything worth keeping; in
this menagerie。〃
Moved though he was; Shelton wriggled in his chair; a prey to racial
instinct; to an ingrained over…tenderness; perhaps; of soul that
forbade him from exposing his emotions; and recoiled from the
revelation of other people's。 He could stand it on the stage; he
could stand it in a book; but in real life he could not stand it。
When Ferrand had gone off with a portmanteau in each hand; he sat
down and told Antonia:
。 。 。 The poor chap broke down and sat crying like a child; and
instead of making me feel sorry; it turned me into stone。 The more
sympathetic I wanted to be; the gruffer I grew。 Is it fear of
ridicule; independence; or consideration; for others that prevents
one from showing one's feelings?
He went on to tell her of Ferrand's starving four days sooner than
face a pawnbroker; and; reading the letter over before addressing it;
the faces of th