speeches-literary & social-第54章

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LADIES　AND　GENTLEMEN；　…　You　receive　me　with　so　much　cordiality　that

I　fear　you　believe　that　I　really　did　once　sit　in　a　Lord　Mayor's

state　coach。　　Permit　me　to　assure　you；　in　spite　of　the　information

received　from　Mr。　Alderman　Cotton；　that　I　never　had　that　honour。

Furthermore；　I　beg　to　assure　you　that　I　never　witnessed　a　Lord

Mayor's　show　except　from　the　point　of　view　obtained　by　the　other

vagabonds　upon　the　pavement。　　Now；　ladies　and　gentlemen；　in　spite

of　this　great　cordiality　of　yours；　I　doubt　if　you　fully　know　yet

what　a　blessing　it　is　to　you　that　I　occupy　this　chair　to…night；

because；　having　filled　it　on　several　previous　occasions　for　the

society　on　whose　behalf　we　are　assembled；　and　having　said

everything　that　I　could　think　of　to　say　about　it；　and　being；

moreover；　the　president　of　the　institution　itself；　I　am　placed　to…

night　in　the　modest　position　of　a　host　who　is　not　so　much　to

display　himself　as　to　call　out　his　guests　…　perhaps　even　to　try　to

induce　some　among　them　to　occupy　his　place　on　another　occasion。

And；　therefore；　you　may　be　safely　sure　that；　like　Falstaff；　but

with　a　modification　almost　as　large　as　himself；　I　shall　try　rather

to　be　the　cause　of　speaking　in　others　than　to　speak　myself　to…

night。　　Much　in　this　manner　they　exhibit　at　the　door　of　a　snuff

shop　the　effigy　of　a　Highlander　with　an　empty　mull　in　his　hand；

who；　having　apparently　taken　all　the　snuff　he　can　carry；　and

discharged　all　the　sneezes　of　which　he　is　capable；　politely　invites

his　friends　and　patrons　to　step　in　and　try　what　they　can　do　in　the

same　line。



It　is　an　appropriate　instance　of　the　universality　of　the　newsman's

calling　that　no　toast　we　have　drunk　to…night　…　and　no　toast　we

shall　drink　to…night　…　and　no　toast　we　might；　could；　should；　or

would　drink　to…night；　is　separable　for　a　moment　from　that　great

inclusion　of　all　possible　subjects　of　human　interest　which　he

delivers　at　our　doors　every　day。　　Further；　it　may　be　worthy　the

consideration　of　everybody　here　who　has　talked　cheerfully　to　his　or

her　neighbour　since　we　have　sat　down　at　the　table；　what　in　the　name

of　Heaven　should　we　have　talked　about；　and　how　on　earth　could　we

have　possibly　got　on；　if　our　newsman　had　only　for　one　single　day

forgotten　us。　　Now；　ladies　and　gentlemen；　as　our　newsman　is　not　by

any　means　in　the　habit　of　forgetting　us；　let　us　try　to　form　a

little　habit　of　not　forgetting　our　newsman。　　Let　us　remember　that

his　work　is　very　arduous；　that　it　occupies　him　early　and　late；　that

the　profits　he　derives　from　us　are　at　the　best　very　small；　that　the

services　he　renders　to　us　are　very　great；　that　if　he　be　a　master；

his　little　capital　is　exposed　to　all　sorts　of　mischances；

anxieties；　and　hazards；　and　if　he　be　a　journeyman；　he　himself　is

exposed　to　all　manner　of　weathers；　of　tempers；　and　of　difficult　and

unreasonable　requirements。



Let　me　illustrate　this。　　I　was　once　present　at　a　social　discussion；

which　originated　by　chance。　　The　subject　was；　What　was　the　most

absorbing　and　longest…lived　passion　in　the　human　breast？　　What　was

the　passion　so　powerful　that　it　would　almost　induce　the　generous　to

be　mean；　the　careless　to　be　cautious；　the　guileless　to　be　deeply

designing；　and　the　dove　to　emulate　the　serpent？　　A　daily　editor　of

vast　experience　and　great　acuteness；　who　was　one　of　the　company；

considerably　surprised　us　by　saying　with　the　greatest　confidence

that　the　passion　in　question　was　the　passion　of　getting　orders　for

the　play。



There　had　recently　been　a　terrible　shipwreck；　and　very　few　of　the

surviving　sailors　had　escaped　in　an　open　boat。　　One　of　these　on

making　land　came　straight　to　London；　and　straight　to　the　newspaper

office；　with　his　story　of　how　he　had　seen　the　ship　go　down　before

his　eyes。　　That　young　man　had　witnessed　the　most　terrible

contention　between　the　powers　of　fire　and　water　for　the　destruction

of　that　ship　and　of　every　one　on　board。　　He　had　rowed　away　among

the　floating；　dying；　and　the　sinking　dead。　　He　had　floated　by　day；

and　he　had　frozen　by　night；　with　no　shelter　and　no　food；　and；　as　he

told　his　dismal　tale；　he　rolled　his　haggard　eyes　about　the　room。

When　he　had　finished；　and　the　tale　had　been　noted　down　from　his

lips；　he　was　cheered　and　refreshed；　and　soothed；　and　asked　if

anything　could　be　done　for　him。　　Even　within　him　that　master

passion　was　so　strong　that　he　immediately　replied　he　should　like　an

order　for　the　play。　　My　friend　the　editor　certainly　thought　that

was　rather　a　strong　case；　but　he　said　that　during　his　many　years　of

experience　he　had　witnessed　an　incurable　amount　of　self…prostration

and　abasement　having　no　outer　object；　and　that　almost　invariably　on

the　part　of　people　who　could　well　afford　to　pay。



This　made　a　great　impression　on　my　mind；　and　I　really　lived　in　this

faith　until　some　years　ago　it　happened　upon　a　stormy　night　I　was

kindly　escorted　from　a　bleak　railway　station　to　the　little　out…of…

the…way　town　it　represented　by　a　sprightly　and　vivacious　newsman；

to　whom　I　propounded；　as　we　went　along　under　my　umbrella　…　he　being

most　excellent　company　…　this　old　question；　what　was　the　one　all…

absorbing　passion　of　the　human　soul？　　He　replied；　without　the

slightest　hesitation；　that　it　certainly　was　the　passion　for　getting

your　newspaper　in　advance　of　your　fellow…creatures；　also；　if　you

only　hired　it；　to　get　it　delivered　at　your　own　door　at　exactly　the

same　time　as　another　man　who　hired　the　same　copy　four　miles　off；

and；　finally；　the　invincible　determination　on　the　part　of　both　men

not　to　believe　the　time　was　up　when　the　boy　called。



Ladies　and　gentlemen；　I　have　not　had　an　opportunity　of　verifying

this　experience　with　my　friends　of　the　managing　committee；　but　I

have　no　doubt　from　its　reception　tonight　that　my　friend　the　newsman

was　perfectly　right。　　Well；　as　a　sort　of　beacon　in　a　sufficiently

dark　life；　and　as　an　assurance　that　among　a　little　body　of　working

men　there　is　a　feeling　of　brotherhood　and　sympathy　…　which　is　worth

much　to　all　men；　or　they　would　herd　with　wolves　…　the　newsvendors

once　upon　a　time　established　the　Benevolent　and　Provident

Institution；　and　here　it　is。　　Under　the　Provident　head；　certain

small　annuities　are　granted　to　old　and　hard…working　subscribers。

Under　the　Benevolent　head；　relief　is　afforded　to　temporary　and

proved　distress。　　Under　both　heads；　I　am　bound　to　say　the　help

rendered　is　very　humble　and　very　sparing；　but　if　you　like　it　to　be

handsomer　you　have　it　in　your　power　to　make　it　so。　　Such　as　it　is；

it　is　most　gratefully　received；　and　does　a　deal　of　good。　　Such　as

it　is；　it　is　most　discreetly　and　feelingly　administered；　and　it　is

encumbered　with　no　wasteful　charges　for　management　or　patronage。



You　know　upon　an　old　authority；　that　you　may　believe　anything

except　facts　and　figures；　but　you　really　may　believe　that　during

the　last　year　we　have　granted　100　pounds　in　pensions；　and　some　70

pounds　in　temporary　relief；　and　we　have　invested　in　Government

securities　some　400　pounds。　　But；　touching　this　matter　of

investments；　it　was　suggested　at　the　anniversary　dinner；　on　the

high　and　kind　authority　of　Sir　Benjamin　Phillips　that　we　might

grant　more　pensions　and　invest　less　money。　　We　urged；　on　the　other

hand；　that　we　wished　our　pensions　to　be　certain　and　unchangeable　…

which　of　course　they　must　be　if　they　are　always　paid　out　of　our

Government　interest　and　never　out　of　our　capital。　　However；　so

amiable　is　our　nature；　that　we　profess　our　desire　to　grant　more

pensions　and　to　invest　more　money　too。　　The　more　you　give　us　to…

night　again；　so　amiable　is　our　nature；　the　more　we　promise　to　do　in

both　departments。　　That　the　newsman's　work　has　greatly　increased；

and　that　it　is　far　more　wearing　and　tearing　than　it　used　to　be；　you

may　infer　from　one　fact；　not　to　mention　that　we　live　in　railway

times。　　It　is　stated　in　Mitchell's　〃Newspaper　Press　Directory；〃

that　during　the　last　quarter　of　a　century　the　number　of　newspapers

which　appeared　in　London　had　more　than　doubled；　while