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第33章

speeches-literary & social-第33章

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But Mr。 Pepys; whenever he committed any slight act of remissness;

or any little peccadillo which was utterly and wholly untheatrical;

used to comfort his conscience by recording a vow that he would

abstain from the theatres for a certain time。  In the first part of

Mr。 Pepys' character I have no doubt we fully agree with him; in

the second I have no doubt we do not。



I learn this experience of Mr。 Pepys from remembrance of a passage

in his diary that I was reading the other night; from which it

appears that he was not only curious in plays; but curious in

sermons; and that one night when he happened to be walking past St。

Dunstan's Church; he turned; went in; and heard what he calls 〃a

very edifying discourse;〃 during the delivery of which discourse;

he notes in his diary … 〃I stood by a pretty young maid; whom I did

attempt to take by the hand。〃  But he adds … 〃She would not; and I

did perceive that she had pins in her pocket with which to prick me

if I should touch her again … and was glad that I spied her

design。〃  Afterwards; about the close of the same edifying

discourse; Mr。 Pepys found himself near another pretty; fair young

maid; who would seem upon the whole to have had no pins; and to

have been more impressible。



Now; the moral of this story which I wish to suggest to you is;

that we have been this evening in St。 James's much more timid than

Mr。 Pepys was in St。 Dunstan's; and that we have conducted

ourselves very much better。  As a slight recompense to us for our

highly meritorious conduct; and as a little relief to our over…

charged hearts; I beg to propose that we devote this bumper to

invoking a blessing on the ladies。  It is the privilege of this

society annually to hear a lady speak for her own sex。  Who so

competent to do this as Mrs。 Stirling?  Surely one who has so

gracefully and captivatingly; with such an exquisite mixture of

art; and fancy; and fidelity; represented her own sex in

innumerable charities; under an infinite variety of phases; cannot

fail to represent them well in her own character; especially when

it is; amidst her many triumphs; the most agreeable of all。  I beg

to propose to you 〃The Ladies;〃 and I will couple with that toast

the name of Mrs。 Stirling。







SPEECH:  LONDON; MARCH 28; 1866。







'The following speech was made by Mr。 Dickens at the Annual

Festival of the Royal General Theatrical Fund; held at the

Freemasons' Tavern; in proposing the health of the Lord Mayor (Sir

Benjamin Phillips); who occupied the chair。'



GENTLEMEN; in my childish days I remember to have had a vague but

profound admiration for a certain legendary person called the Lord

Mayor's fool。  I had the highest opinion of the intellectual

capacity of that suppositious retainer of the Mansion House; and I

really regarded him with feelings approaching to absolute

veneration; because my nurse informed me on every gastronomic

occasion that the Lord Mayor's fool liked everything that was good。

You will agree with me; I have no doubt; that if this

discriminating jester had existed at the present time he could not

fail to have liked his master very much; seeing that so good a Lord

Mayor is very rarely to be found; and that a better Lord Mayor

could not possibly be。



You have already divined; gentlemen; that I am about to propose to

you to drink the health of the right honourable gentleman in the

chair。  As one of the Trustees of the General Theatrical Fund; I

beg officially to tender him my best thanks for lending the very

powerful aid of his presence; his influence; and his personal

character to this very deserving Institution。  As his private

friends we ventured to urge upon him to do us this gracious act;

and I beg to assure you that the perfect simplicity; modesty;

cordiality; and frankness with which he assented; enhanced the gift

one thousand fold。  I think it must also be very agreeable to a

company like this to know that the President of the night is not

ceremoniously pretending; 〃positively for this night only;〃 to have

an interest in the drama; but that he has an unusual and thorough

acquaintance with it; and that he has a living and discerning

knowledge of the merits of the great old actors。  It is very

pleasant to me to remember that the Lord Mayor and I once beguiled

the tedium of a journey by exchanging our experiences upon this

subject。  I rather prided myself on being something of an old

stager; but I found the Lord Mayor so thoroughly up in all the

stock pieces; and so knowing and yet so fresh about the merits of

those who are most and best identified with them; that I readily

recognised in him what would be called in fistic language; a very

ugly customer … one; I assure you; by no means to be settled by any

novice not in thorough good theatrical training。



Gentlemen; we have all known from our earliest infancy that when

the giants in Guildhall hear the clock strike one; they come down

to dinner。  Similarly; when the City of London shall hear but one

single word in just disparagement of its present Lord Mayor;

whether as its enlightened chief magistrate; or as one of its

merchants; or as one of its true gentlemen; he will then descend

from the high personal place which he holds in the general honour

and esteem。  Until then he will remain upon his pedestal; and my

private opinion; between ourselves; is that the giants will come

down long before him。



Gentlemen; in conclusion; I would remark that when the Lord Mayor

made his truly remarkable; and truly manly; and unaffected speech;

I could not but be struck by the odd reversal of the usual

circumstances at the Mansion House; which he presented to our view;

for whereas it is a very common thing for persons to be brought

tremblingly before the Lord Mayor; the Lord Mayor presented himself

as being brought tremblingly before us。  I hope that the result may

hold still further; for whereas it is a common thing for the Lord

Mayor to say to a repentant criminal who does not seem to have much

harm in him; 〃let me never see you here again;〃 so I would propose

that we all with one accord say to the Lord Mayor; 〃Let us by all

means see you here again on the first opportunity。〃  Gentlemen; I

beg to propose to you to drink; with all the honours; 〃The health

of the right hon。 the Lord Mayor。〃







SPEECH:  LONDON; MAY 7; 1866。







'The Members of the Metropolitan Rowing Clubs dining together at

the London Tavern; on the above date; Mr。 Dickens; as President of

the Nautilus Rowing Club; occupied the chair。  The Speech that

follows was made in proposing 〃Prosperity to the Rowing Clubs of

London。〃  Mr。 Dickens said that:…'



HE could not avoid the remembrance of what very poor things the

amateur rowing clubs on the Thames were in the early days of his

noviciate; not to mention the difference in the build of the boats。

He could not get on in the beginning without being a pupil under an

anomalous creature called a 〃fireman waterman;〃 who wore an

eminently tall hat; and a perfectly unaccountable uniform; of which

it might be said that if it was less adapted for one thing than

another; that thing was fire。  He recollected that this gentleman

had on some former day won a King's prize wherry; and they used to

go about in this accursed wherry; he and a partner; doing all the

hard work; while the fireman drank all the beer。  The river was

very much clearer; freer; and cleaner in those days than these; but

he was persuaded that this philosophical old boatman could no more

have dreamt of seeing the spectacle which had taken place on

Saturday (the procession of the boats of the Metropolitan Amateur

Rowing Clubs); or of seeing these clubs matched for skill and

speed; than he (the Chairman) should dare to announce through the

usual authentic channels that he was to be heard of at the bar

below; and that he was perfectly prepared to accommodate Mr。 James

Mace if he meant busi

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