hard times(艰难时世)-第76章
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immoral as need be。 At the same time； in bringing any distress
upon the lady who is the subject of the present conversation； or in
unfortunately compromising her in any way； or in committing
myself by any expression of sentiments towards her； not perfectly
reconcilable with—in fact with—the domestic hearth； or in taking
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any advantage of her father’s being a machine； or of her brother’s
being a whelp； or of her husband’s being a bear； I beg to be
allowed to assure you that I have had no particularly evil
intentions； but have glided on from one step to another with a
smoothness so perfectly diabolical； that I had not the slightest idea
the catalogue was half so long until I began to turn it over。
Whereas I find；” said Mr James Harthouse； in conclusion； “that it
is really in several volumes。”
Though he said all this in his frivolous way； the way seemed； for
that once； a conscious polishing of but an ugly surface。 He was
silent for a moment； and then proceeded with a more self…
possessed air； though with traces of vexation and disappointment
that would not be polished out。
“After what has been just now represented to me； in a manner I
find it impossible to doubt—I know of hardly any other source
from which I could have accepted it so readily—I feel bound to say
to you； in whom the confidence you have mentioned has been
reposed； that I cannot refuse to contemplate the possibility
（however unexpected） of my seeing the lady no more。 I am solely
to blame for the thing having come to this—and—and； I cannot
say；” he added； rather hard up for a general peroration； “that I
have any sanguine expectation of ever becoming a moral sort of
fellow； or that I have any belief in any moral sort of fellow
whatever。”
Sissy’s face sufficiently showed that her appeal to him was not
finished。
“You spoke；” he resumed； as she raised her eyes to him again；
“of your first object。 I may assume that there is a second to be
mentioned？”
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“Yes。”
“Will you oblige me by confiding it？”
“Mr Harthouse；” returned Sissy； with a blending of gentleness
and steadiness that quite defeated him； and with a simple
confidence in his being bound to do what she required； that held
him at a singular disadvantage； “the only reparation that remains
with you； is to leave here immediately and finally。 I am quite sure
that you can mitigate in no other way the wrong and harm you
have done。 I am quite sure that it is the only compensation you
have left it in your power to make。 I do not say that it is much； or
that it is enough； but it is something； and it is necessary。
Therefore； though without any other authority than I have given
you； and even without the knowledge of any other person than
yourself and myself； I ask you to depart from this place tonight；
under an obligation never to return to it。”
If she had asserted any influence over him beyond her plain
faith in the truth and right of what she said； if she had concealed
the least doubt or irresolution； or had harboured for the best
purpose any reserve or pretence； if she had shown； or felt； the
lightest trace of any sensitiveness to his ridicule or his
astonishment； or any remonstrance he might offer； he would have
carried it against her at this point。 But he could as easily have
changed a clear sky by looking at it in surprise； as affect her。
“But do you know；” he asked； quite at a loss； “the extent of
what you ask？ You probably are not aware that I am here on a
public kind of business； preposterous enough in itself； but which I
have gone in for； and sworn by； and am supposed to be devoted to
in quite a desperate manner？ You probably are not aware of that；
but I assure you it’s the fact。
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“It had no effect on Sissy； fact or no fact。
“Besides which；” said Mr Harthouse； taking a turn or two
across the room； dubiously； “it’s so alarmingly absurd。 It would
make a man so ridiculous； after going in for these fellows； to back
out in such an incomprehensible way。”
“I am quite sure；” repeated Sissy； “that it is the only reparation
in your power； sir。 I am quite sure； or I would not have come here。
He glanced at her face； and walked about again。 “Upon my soul；
I don’t know what to say。 So immensely absurd！”
It fell to his lot； now； to stipulate for secrecy。
“If I were to do such a very ridiculous thing；” he said； stopping
again presently； and leaning against the chimney…piece； “it could
only be in the most inviolable confidence。”
“I will trust to you； sir；” returned Sissy； “and you will trust to
me。”
His leaning against the chimney…piece reminded him of the
night with the whelp。 It was the self…same chimney…piece； and
somehow he felt as if he were the whelp tonight。 He could make no
way at all。
“I suppose a man never was placed in a more ridiculous
position；” he said； after looking down； and looking up； and
laughing； and frowning； and walking off； and walking back again。
“But I see no way out of it。 What will be； will be。 This will be； I
suppose。 I must take off myself； I imagine—in short； I engage to do
it。”
Sissy rose。 She was not surprised by the result； but she was
happy in it； and her face beamed brightly。
“You will permit me to say；” continued Mr James Harthouse；
“that I doubt if any other ambassador； or ambassadress； could
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have addressed me with the same success。 I must not only regard
myself as being in a very ridiculous position； but as being
vanquished at all points。 Will you allow me the privilege of
remembering my enemy’s name？”
“My name？” said the ambassadress。
“The only name I could possibly care to know； tonight。”
“Sissy Jupe。”
“Pardon my curiosity at parting。 Related to the family？”
“I am only a poor girl；” returned Sissy。 “I was separated from
my father—he was only a stroller—and taken pity on by Mr
Gradgrind。 I have lived in the house ever since。”
She was gone。
“It wanted this to complete the defeat；” said Mr James
