the love affairs of a bibliomaniac-第22章

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Judge　Methuen　has　been　a　victim　（a　pleasant　victim）　to　the　catalogue　habit　for　the　last　forty　years；　and　he　has　declared　that　if　all　the　catalogues　sent　to　and　read　by　him　in　that　space　of　time　were　gathered　together　in　a　heap　they　would　make　a　pile　bigger　than　Pike's　Peak；　and　a　thousandfold　more　interesting。　　I　myself　have　been　a　famous　reader　of　catalogues；　and　I　can　testify　that　the　habit　has　possessed　me　of　remarkable　delusions；　the　most　conspicuous　of　which　is　that　which　produces　within　me　the　conviction　that　a　book　is　as　good　as　mine　as　soon　as　I　have　met　with　its　title　in　a　catalogue；　and　set　an　X　over　against　it　in　pencil。

I　recall　that　on　one　occasion　I　was　discussing　with　Judge　Methuen　and　Dr。　O'Rell　the　attempted　escapes　of　Charles　I。　from　Carisbrooke　Castle；　a　point　of　difference　having　arisen；　I　said：　　‘‘Gentlemen；　I　will　refer　to　Hillier's　‘Narrative；'　and　I　doubt　not　that　my　argument　will　be　sustained　by　that　authority。''

It　was　vastly　easier；　however；　to　cite　Hillier　than　it　was　to　find　him。　　For　three　days　I　searched　in　my　library；　and　tumbled　my　books　about　in　that　confusion　which　results　from　undue　eagerness；　't　was　all　in　vain；　neither　hide　nor　hair　of　the　desired　volume　could　I　discover。　　It　finally　occurred　to　me　that　I　must　have　lent　the　book　to　somebody；　and　then　again　I　felt　sure　that　it　had　been　stolen。

No　tidings　of　the　missing　volume　came　to　me；　and　I　had　almost　forgotten　the　incident　when　one　evening　（it　was　fully　two　years　after　my　discussion　with　my　cronies）　I　came　upon；　in　one　of　the　drawers　of　my　oak　chest；　a　Sotheran　catalogue　of　May；　1871。　　By　the　merest　chance　I　opened　it；　and　as　luck　would　have　it；　I　opened　it　at　the　very　page　upon　which　appeared　this　item：

‘‘Hillier　（G。）　‘Narrative　of　the　Attempted　Escapes　of　Charles　the　First　from　Carisbrooke　Castle'；　cr。　　8vo；　1852；　cloth；　3/6。''

Against　this　item　appeared　a　cross　in　my　chirography；　and　I　saw　at　a　glance　that　this　was　my　long…lost　Hillier！　I　had　meant　to　buy　it；　and　had　marked　it　for　purchase；　but　with　the　determination　and　that　pencilled　cross　the　transaction　had　ended。　　Yet；　having　resolved　to　buy　it　had　served　me　almost　as　effectively　as　though　I　had　actually　bought　it；　I　thoughtaye；　I　could　have　sworn　I　HAD　bought　it；　simply　because　I　MEANT　to　buy　it。

‘‘The　experience　is　not　unique；''　said　Judge　Methuen；　when　I　narrated　it　to　him　at　our　next　meeting。　　‘‘Speaking　for　myself；　I　can　say　that　it　is　a　confirmed　habit　with　me　to　mark　certain　items　in　catalogues　which　I　read；　and　then　to　go　my　way　in　the　pleasing　conviction　that　they　are　actually　mine。''

‘‘I　meet　with　cases　of　this　character　continually；''　said　Dr。　O'Rell。　　‘‘The　hallucination　is　one　that　is　recognized　as　a　specific　one　by　pathologists；　its　cure　is　quickest　effected　by　means　of　hypnotism。　　Within　the　last　year　a　lady　of　beauty　and　refinement　came　to　me　in　serious　distress。　　She　confided　to　me　amid　a　copious　effusion　of　tears　that　her　husband　was　upon　the　verge　of　insanity。　　Her　testimony　was　to　the　effect　that　the　unfortunate　man　believed　himself　to　be　possessed　of　a　large　library；　the　fact　being　that　the　number　of　his　books　was　limited　to　three　hundred　or　thereabouts。

‘‘Upon　inquiry　I　learned　that　N。　M。　（for　so　I　will　call　the　victim　of　this　delusion）　made　a　practice　of　reading　and　of　marking　booksellers'　catalogues；　further　investigation　developed　that　N。　M。's　great…uncle　on　his　mother's　side　had　invented　a　flying…machine　　that　would　not　fly；　and　that　a　half…brother　of　his　was　the　author　of　a　pamphlet　entitled　‘16　to　1；　or　the　Poor　Man's　Vade…Mecum。'

‘‘　‘Madam；'　said　I；　‘it　is　clear　to　me　that　your　husband　is　afflicted　with　catalogitis。'

‘‘At　this　the　poor　woman　went　into　hysterics；　bewailing　that　she　should　have　lived　to　see　the　object　of　her　affection　the　victim　of　a　malady　so　grievous　as　to　require　a　Greek　name。　　When　she　became　calmer　I　explained　to　her　that　the　malady　was　by　no　means　fatal；　and　that　it　yielded　readily　to　treatment。''

‘‘What；　in　plain　terms；''　asked　Judge　Methuen；　‘‘is　catalogitis？''

‘‘I　will　explain　briefly；''　answered　the　doctor。　　‘‘You　must　know　first　that　every　perfect　human　being　is　provided　with　two　sets　of　bowels；　he　has　physical　bowels　and　intellectual　bowels；　the　brain　being　the　latter。　　Hippocrates　（since　whose　time　the　science　of　medicine　has　not　advanced　even　the　two　stadia；　five　parasangs　of　Xenophon）　Hippocrates；　I　say；　discovered　that　the　brain　is　subject　to　those　very　same　diseases　to　which　the　other　and　inferior　bowels　are　liable。　

‘‘Galen　confirmed　this　discovery　and　he　records　a　case　（Lib。　xi。；　p。　318）　wherein　there　were　exhibited　in　the　intellectual　bowels　symptoms　similar　to　those　we　find　in　appendicitis。　　The　brain　is　wrought　into　certain　convolutions；　just　as　the　alimentary　canal　is；　the　fourth　layer；　so　called；　contains　elongated　groups　of　small　cells　or　nuclei；　radiating　at　right　angles　to　its　plane；　which　groups　present　a　distinctly　fanlike　structure。　　Catalogitis　is　a　stoppage　of　this　fourth　layer；　whereby　the　functions　of　the　fanlike　structure　are　suffered　no　longer　to　cool　the　brain；　and　whereby　also　continuity　of　thought　is　interrupted；　just　as　continuity　of　digestion　is　prevented　by　stoppage　of　the　vermiform　appendix。

‘‘The　learned　Professor　Biersteintrinken；''　continued　Dr。　O'Rell；　‘‘has　advanced　in　his　scholarly　work　on　‘Raderinderkopf'　the　interesting　theory　that　catalogitis　is　produced　by　the　presence　in　the　brain　of　a　germ　which　has　its　origin　in　the　cheap　paper　used　by　booksellers　for　catalogue　purposes；　and　this　theory　seems　to　have　the　approval　of　M。　Marie…Tonsard；　the　most　famous　of　authorities　on　inebriety；　in　his　celebrated　classic　entitled　‘Un　Trait　sur　Jacques…Jacques。'　''

‘‘Did　you　effect　a　cure　in　the　case　of　N。　M。？''　I　asked。

‘‘With　the　greatest　of　ease；''　answered　the　doctor。　　‘‘By　means　of　hypnotism　I　purged　his　intellectuals　of　their　hallucination；　relieving　them　of　their　perception　of　objects　which　have　no　reality　and　ridding　them　of　sensations　which　have　no　corresponding　external　cause。　　The　patient　made　a　rapid　recovery；　and；　although　three　months　have　elapsed　since　his　discharge；　he　has　had　no　return　of　the　disease。''

As　a　class　booksellers　do　not　encourage　the　reading　of　other　booksellers'　catalogues；　this　is；　presumably；　because　they　do　not　care　to　encourage　buyers　to　buy　of　other　sellers。　　My　bookseller；　who　in　all　virtues　of　head　and　heart　excels　all　other　booksellers　I　ever　met　with；　makes　a　scrupulous　practice　of　destroying　the　catalogues　that　come　to　his　shop；　lest　some　stray　copy　may　fall　into　the　hands　of　a　mousing　book…lover　and　divert　his　attention　to　other　hunting…grounds。　　It　is　indeed　remarkable　to　what　excess　the　　catalogue　habit　will　carry　its　victim；　the　author　of　‘‘Will　Shakespeare；　a　Comedy；''　has　frequently　confessed　to　me　that　it　mattered　not　to　him　whether　a　catalogue　was　twenty　years　oldso　long　as　it　was　a　catalogue　of　books　he　found　the　keenest　delight　in　its　perusal；　I　have　often　heard　Mr。　Hamlin；　the　theatre　manager；　say　that　he　preferred　old　catalogues　to　new；　for　the　reason　that　the　bargains　to　be　met　with　in　old　catalogues　expired　long　ago　under　the　statute　of　limitations。

Judge　Methuen；　who　is　a　married　man　and　has　therefore　had　an　excellent　opportunity　to　study　the　sex；　tells　me　that　the　wives　of　bibliomaniacs　regard　catalogues　as　the　most　mischievous　temptations　that　can　be　thrown　in　the　way　of　their　husbands。　　I　once　committed　the　imprudence　of　mentioning　the　subject　in　Mrs。　Methuen's　presence：　that　estimable　lady　gave　it　as　her　opinion　that　there　were　plenty　of　ways　of　spending　money　foolishly　without　having　recourse　to　a　book…catalogue　for　suggestion。　　I　wonder　whether　Captivity　would　have　had　this　opinion；　had　Providence　ordained　that　　we　should　walk　together　the　quiet　pathway　of　New　England　life；　would　Yseult　always　have　retained　the　exuberance　and　sweetness　of　her　youth；　had　she　and　I　realized　what　might　have　been？　　Would　Fanchonette　always　have　sympathized　with　the　whims　and　vagaries　of　the　restless　yet　loyal　soul　that　hung　enraptured　on　her　singing　in　the　Quartier　Latin　so　long　ago　that　the　memory　of　that　song　is　like　the　memory　of　a　ghostly　echo　now？

Away　with　such　reflections！　　Bring　in　the　candles；　good　s