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第18章

the double-dealer-第18章

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SIR PAUL。  Madam; sister; my lady sister; did you see my lady my

wife?



LADY TOUCH。  Oh!  Torture!



SIR PAUL。  Gads…bud; I can't find her high nor low; where can she

be; think you?



LADY TOUCH。  Where she's serving you; as all your sex ought to be

served; making you a beast。  Don't you know you're a fool; brother?



SIR PAUL。  A fool; he; he; he; you're merry。  No; no; not I; I know

no such matter。



LADY TOUCH。  Why; then; you don't know half your happiness。



SIR PAUL。  That's a jest with all my heart; faith and troth。  But

harkee; my lord told me something of a revolution of things; I don't

know what to make on't。  Gads…bud; I must consult my wife:… he talks

of disinheriting his nephew; and I don't know what。  Look you;

sister; I must know what my girl has to trust to; or not a syllable

of a wedding; gads…bud!to show you that I am not a fool。



LADY TOUCH。  Hear me:  consent to the breaking off this marriage;

and the promoting any other without consulting me; and I'll renounce

all blood; all relation and concern with you for ever; nay; I'll be

your enemy; and pursue you to destruction:  I'll tear your eyes out;

and tread you under my feet。



SIR PAUL。  Why; what's the matter now?  Good Lord; what's all this

for?  Pooh; here's a joke indeed。  Why; where's my wife?



LADY TOUCH。  With Careless; in the close arbour; he may want you by

this time; as much as you want her。



SIR PAUL。  Oh; if she be with Mr。 Careless; 'tis well enough。



LADY TOUCH。  Fool; sot; insensible ox!  But remember what I said to

you; or you had better eat your own horns; by this light you had。



SIR PAUL。  You're a passionate woman; gads…bud!  But to say truth

all our family are choleric; I am the only peaceable person amongst

'em。





SCENE IX。





MELLEFONT; MASKWELL; and CYNTHIA。



MEL。  I know no other way but this he has proposed:  if you have

love enough to run the venture。



CYNT。  I don't know whether I have love enough; but I find I have

obstinacy enough to pursue whatever I have once resolved; and a true

female courage to oppose anything that resists my will; though

'twere reason itself。



MASK。  That's right。  Well; I'll secure the writings and run the

hazard along with you。



CYNT。  But how can the coach and six horses be got ready without

suspicion?



MASK。  Leave it to my care; that shall be so far from being

suspected; that it shall be got ready by my lord's own order。



MEL。  How?



MASK。  Why; I intend to tell my lord the whole matter of our

contrivance; that's my way。



MEL。  I don't understand you。



MASK。  Why; I'll tell my lord I laid this plot with you on purpose

to betray you; and that which put me upon it; was the finding it

impossible to gain the lady any other way; but in the hopes of her

marrying you。



MEL。  So。



MASK。  So; why so; while you're busied in making yourself ready;

I'll wheedle her into the coach; and instead of you; borrow my

lord's chaplain; and so run away with her myself。



MEL。  Oh; I conceive you; you'll tell him so。



MASK。  Tell him so! ay; why; you don't think I mean to do so?



MEL。  No; no; ha; ha; I dare swear thou wilt not。



MASK。  Therefore; for our farther security; I would have you

disguised like a parson; that if my lord should have curiosity to

peep; he may not discover you in the coach; but think the cheat is

carried on as he would have it。



MEL。  Excellent Maskwell!  Thou wert certainly meant for a statesman

or a Jesuit; but thou art too honest for one; and too pious for the

other。



MASK。  Well; get yourself ready; and meet me in half…an…hour; yonder

in my lady's dressing…room; go by the back stairs; and so we may

slip down without being observed。  I'll send the chaplain to you

with his robes:  I have made him my own; and ordered him to meet us

to…morrow morning at St。 Albans; there we will sum up this account;

to all our satisfactions。



MEL。  Should I begin to thank or praise thee; I should waste the

little time we have。





SCENE X。





CYNTHIA; MASKWELL



MASK。  Madam; you will be ready?



CYNT。  I will be punctual to the minute。  'Going。'



MASK。  Stay; I have a doubt。  Upon second thoughts; we had better

meet in the chaplain's chamber here; the corner chamber at this end

of the gallery; there is a back way into it; so that you need not

come through this door; and a pair of private stairs leading down to

the stables。  It will be more convenient。



CYNT。  I am guided by you; but Mellefont will mistake。



MASK。  No; no; I'll after him immediately; and tell him。



CYNT。  I will not fail。





SCENE XI。





MASKWELL alone。



MASK。  Why; QUI VULT DECIPI DECIPIATUR。'Tis no fault of mine:  I

have told 'em in plain terms how easy 'tis for me to cheat 'em; and

if they will not hear the serpent's hiss; they must be stung into

experience and future caution。  Now to prepare my lord to consent to

this。  But first I must instruct my little Levite; there is no plot;

public or private; that can expect to prosper without one of them

has a finger in't:  he promised me to be within at this hour;Mr。

Saygrace; Mr。 Saygrace!  'Goes to the chamber door and knocks。'





SCENE XII。





MASKWELL; SAYGRACE。



SAYGRACE 'looking out。'  Sweet sir; I will but pen the last line of

an acrostic; and be with you in the twinkling of an ejaculation; in

the pronouncing of an Amen; or before you can …



MASK。  Nay; good Mr。 Saygrace; do not prolong the time by describing

to me the shortness of your stay; rather if you please; defer the

finishing of your wit; and let us talk about our business; it shall

be tithes in your way。



SAYGRACE。  'Enters。'  You shall prevail:  I would break off in the

middle of a sermon to do you a pleasure。



MASK。  You could not do me a greater;except the business in hand。

Have you provided a habit for Mellefont?



SAYGRACE。  I have; they are ready in my chamber; together with a

clean starched band and cuffs。



MASK。  Good; let them be carried to him; have you stitched the gown

sleeve; that he may be puzzled; and waste time in putting it on?



SAYGRACE。  I have:  the gown will not be indued without perplexity。



MASK。  Meet me in half…an…hour; here in your own chamber。  When

Cynthia comes; let there be no light; and do not speak; that she may

not distinguish you from Mellefont。  I'll urge haste to excuse your

silence。



SAYGRACE。  You have no more commands?



MASK。  None:  your text is short。



SAYGRACE。  But pithy:  and I will handle it with discretion。



MASK。  It will be the first you have so served。





SCENE XIII。





LORD TOUCHWOOD; MASKWELL。



LORD TOUCH。  Sure I was born to be controlled by those I should

command。  My very slaves will shortly give me rules how I shall

govern them。



MASK。  I am concerned to see your lordship discomposed。



LORD TOUCH。  Have you seen my wife lately; or disobliged her?



MASK。  No; my lord。  What can this mean?  'Aside。'



LORD TOUCH。  Then Mellefont has urged somebody to incense her。

Something she has heard of you which carries her beyond the bounds

of patience。



MASK。  This I feared。  'Aside。'  Did not your lordship tell her of

the honours you designed me?



LORD TOUCH。  Yes。



MASK。  'Tis that; you know my lady has a high spirit; she thinks I

am unworthy。



LORD TOUCH。  Unworthy!  'Tis an ignorant pride in her to think so。

Honesty to me is true nobility。  However; 'tis my will it shall be

so; and that should be convincing to her as much as reason。  By

Heaven; I'll not be wife…ridden; were it possible; it should be done

this night。



MASK。  By Heaven; he meets my wishes!  'Aside。'  Few things are

impossible to willing minds。



LORD TOUCH。  Instruct me how this may be done; you shall see I want

no inclination。



MASK。  I had laid a small design for to…morrow (as 

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