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第11章

the double-dealer-第11章

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SIR PAUL。  Why; I have; I thank heaven; a very plentiful fortune; a

good estate in the country; some houses in town; and some money; a

pretty tolerable personal estate; and it is a great grief to me;

indeed it is; Mr。 Careless; that I have not a son to inherit this。

'Tis true I have a daughter; and a fine dutiful child she is; though

I say it; blessed be providence I may say; for indeed; Mr。 Careless;

I am mightily beholden to providence。  A poor unworthy sinner。  But

if I had a son!  Ah; that's my affliction; and my only affliction;

indeed I cannot refrain tears when it comes in my mind。  'Cries。'



CARE。  Why; methinks that might be easily remediedmy lady's a fine

likely woman …



SIR PAUL。  Oh; a fine likely woman as you shall see in a summer's

day。  Indeed she is; Mr。 Careless; in all respects。



CARE。  And I should not have taken you to have been so old …



SIR PAUL。  Alas; that's not it; Mr。 Careless; ah! that's not it; no;

no; you shoot wide of the mark a mile; indeed you do; that's not it;

Mr。 Careless; no; no; that's not it。



CARE。  No?  What can be the matter then?



SIR PAUL。  You'll scarcely believe me when I shall tell youmy lady

is so nice。  It's very strange; but it's true; too trueshe's so

very nice; that I don't believe she would touch a man for the world。

At least not above once a year; I'm sure I have found it so; and;

alas; what's once a year to an old man; who would do good in his

generation?  Indeed it's true; Mr。 Careless; it breaks my heart。  I

am her husband; as I may say; though far unworthy of that honour;

yet I am her husband; but alas…a…day; I have no more familiarity

with her personas to that matterthan with my own motherno

indeed。



CARE。  Alas…a…day; this is a lamentable story。  My lady must be told

on't。  She must i'faith; Sir Paul; 'tis an injury to the world。



SIR PAUL。  Ah! would to heaven you would; Mr。 Careless; you are

mightily in her favour。



CARE。  I warrant you; what! we must have a son some way or other。



SIR PAUL。  Indeed I should be mightily bound to you if you could

bring it about; Mr。 Careless。



LADY PLYANT。  Here; Sir Paul; it's from your steward。  Here's a

return of 600 pounds; you may take fifty of it for the next half

year。  'Gives him the letter。'





SCENE IX。





'To them' LORD FROTH; CYNTHIA。



SIR PAUL。  How does my girl?  Come hither to thy father; poor lamb:

thou'rt melancholic。



LORD FROTH。  Heaven; Sir Paul; you amaze me; of all things in the

world。  You are never pleased but when we are all upon the broad

grin:  all laugh and no company; ah; then 'tis such a sight to see

some teeth。  Sure you're a great admirer of my Lady Whifler; Mr。

Sneer; and Sir Laurence Loud; and that gang。



SIR PAUL。  I vow and swear she's a very merry woman; but I think she

laughs a little too much。



LORD FROTH。  Merry!  O Lord; what a character that is of a woman of

quality。  You have been at my Lady Whifler's upon her day; madam?



CYNT。  Yes; my lord。  I must humour this fool。  'Aside。'



LORD FROTH。  Well; and how? hee!  What is your sense of the

conversation?



CYNT。  Oh; most ridiculous; a perpetual comfort of laughing without

any harmony; for sure; my lord; to laugh out of time; is as

disagreeable as to sing out of time or out of tune。



LORD FROTH。  Hee; hee; hee; right; and then; my Lady Whifler is so

readyshe always comes in three bars too soon。  And then; what do

they laugh at?  For you know laughing without a jest is as

impertinent; hee! as; as …



CYNT。  As dancing without a fiddle。



LORD FROTH。  Just i'faith; that was at my tongue's end。



CYNT。  But that cannot be properly said of them; for I think they

are all in good nature with the world; and only laugh at one

another; and you must allow they have all jests in their persons;

though they have none in their conversation。



LORD FROTH。  True; as I'm a person of honour。  For heaven's sake let

us sacrifice 'em to mirth a little。  'Enter BOY and whispers SIR

PAUL。'



SIR PAUL。  Gads so。Wife; wife; my Lady Plyant; I have a word。



LADY PLYANT。  I'm busy; Sir Paul; I wonder at your impertinence。



CARE。  Sir Paul; harkee; I'm reasoning the matter you know。  Madam;

if your ladyship please; we'll discourse of this in the next room。



SIR PAUL。  O ho; I wish you good success; I wish you good success。

Boy; tell my lady; when she has done; I would speak with her below。





SCENE X。





CYNTHIA; LORD FROTH; LADY FROTH; BRISK。



LADY FROTH。  Then you think that episode between Susan; the dairy…

maid; and our coachman is not amiss; you know; I may suppose the

dairy in town; as well as in the country。



BRISK。  Incomparable; let me perish。  But then; being an heroic

poem; had you not better call him a charioteer?  Charioteer sounds

great; besides; your ladyship's coachman having a red face; and you

comparing him to the sunand you know the sun is called Heaven's

charioteer。



LADY FROTH。  Oh; infinitely better; I'm extremely beholden to you

for the hint; stay; we'll read over those half a score lines again。

'Pulls out a paper。'  Let me see here; you know what goes before;

the comparison; you know。  'Reads。'





For as the sun shines ev'ry day;

So of our coachman I may say。





BRISK。  I'm afraid that simile won't do in wet weather; because you

say the sun shines every day。



LADY FROTH。  No; for the sun it won't; but it will do for the

coachman; for you know there's most occasion for a coach in wet

weather。



BRISK。  Right; right; that saves all。



LADY FROTH。  Then I don't say the sun shines all the day; but that

he peeps now and then; yet he does shine all the day too; you know;

though we don't see him。



BRISK。  Right; but the vulgar will never comprehend that。



LADY FROTH。  Well; you shall hear。  Let me see。  'Reads。'





For as the sun shines ev'ry day;

So of our coachman I may say;

He shows his drunken fiery face;

Just as the sun does; more or less。





BRISK。  That's right; all's well; all's well。  'More or less。'



LADY FROTH reads:





And when at night his labour's done;

Then too; like Heav'n's charioteer the sun:





Ay; charioteer does better。





Into the dairy he descends;

And there his whipping and his driving ends;

There he's secure from danger of a bilk;

His fare is paid him; and he sets in milk。





For Susan you know; is Thetis; and so …



BRISK。  Incomparable well and proper; egadbut I have one exception

to makedon't you think bilk(I know it's good rhyme)but don't

you think BILK and FARE too like a hackney coachman?



LADY FROTH。  I swear and vow I'm afraid so。  And yet our Jehu was a

hackney coachman; when my lord took him。



BRISK。  Was he?  I'm answered; if Jehu was a hackney coachman。  You

may put that in the marginal notes though; to prevent criticism

only mark it with a small asterism; and say; 'Jehu was formerly a

hackney coachman。'



LADY FROTH。  I will。  You'd oblige me extremely to write notes to

the whole poem。



BRISK。  With all my heart and soul; and proud of the vast honour;

let me perish。



LORD FROTH。  Hee; hee; hee; my dear; have you done? won't you join

with us?  We were laughing at my Lady Whifler and Mr。 Sneer。



LADY FROTH。  Ay; my dear; were you?  Oh; filthy Mr。 Sneer; he's a

nauseous figure; a most fulsamic fop; foh!  He spent two days

together in going about Covent Garden to suit the lining of his

coach with his complexion。



LORD FROTH。  O silly! yet his aunt is as fond of him as if she had

brought the ape into the world herself。



BRISK。  Who; my Lady Toothless?  Oh; she's a mortifying spectacle;

she's always chewing the cud like an old ewe。



CYNT。  Fie; Mr。 Brisk; eringo's for her cough。



LADY FROTH。  I have seen her take 'em half chewed out of her mouth;

to laugh; and then put 'em in again。  Foh!



LORD FROTH。  Foh!



L

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