the moscow census-第13章

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I　remember　the　strange　and　painful　impression　produced　on　me　by　these
alarmed　night…lodgers：　　ragged；　half…dressed；　they　all　seemed　tall　to
me　by　the　light　of　the　lantern　and　the　gloom　of　the　court…yard。
Frightened　and　terrifying　in　their　alarm；　they　stood　in　a　group
around　the　foul…smelling　out…house；　and　listened　to　our　assurances；
but　they　did　not　believe　us；　and　were　evidently　prepared　for　any
thing；　like　hunted　wild　beasts；　provided　only　that　they　could　escape
from　us。　　Gentlemen　in　divers　shapesas　policemen；　both　city　and
rural；　and　as　examining　judges；　and　judgeshunt　them　all　their
lives；　in　town　and　country；　on　the　highway　and　in　the　streets；　and　in
the　taverns；　and　in　night…lodging　houses；　and　now；　all　of　a　sudden；
these　gentlemen　had　come　and　locked　the　gates；　merely　in　order　to
count　them：　　it　was　as　difficult　for　them　to　believe　this；　as　for
hares　to　believe　that　dogs　have　come；　not　to　chase　but　to　count　them。
But　the　gates　were　locked；　and　the　startled　lodgers　returned：　　and
we；　breaking　up　into　groups；　entered　also。　　With　me　were　the　two
society　men　and　two　students。　　In　front　of　us；　in　the　dark；　went
Vanya；　in　his　coat　and　white　trousers；　with　a　lantern；　and　we
followed。　　We　went　to　quarters　with　which　I　was　familiar。　　I　knew　all
the　establishments；　and　some　of　the　people；　but　the　majority　of　the
people　were　new；　and　the　spectacle　was　new；　and　more　dreadful　than
the　one　which　I　had　witnessed　in　the　Lyapinsky　house。　　All　the
lodgings　were　full；　all　the　bunks　were　occupied；　not　by　one　person
only；　but　often　by　two。　　The　sight　was　terrible　in　that　narrow　space
into　which　the　people　were　huddled；　and　men　and　women　were　mixed
together。　　All　the　women　who　were　not　dead　drunk　slept　with　men；　and
women　with　two　children　did　the　same。　　The　sight　was　terrible；　on
account　of　the　poverty；　dirt；　rags；　and　terror　of　the　people。　　And　it
was　chiefly　dreadful　on　account　of　the　vast　numbers　of　people　who
were　in　this　situation。　　One　lodging；　and　then　a　second　like　it；　and
a　third；　and　a　tenth；　and　a　twentieth；　and　still　there　was　no　end　to
them。　　And　everywhere　there　was　the　same　foul　odor；　the　same　close
atmosphere；　the　same　crowding；　the　same　mingling　of　the　sexes；　the
same　men　and　women　intoxicated　to　stupidity；　and　the　same　terror；
submission　and　guilt　on　all　faces；　and　again　I　was　overwhelmed　with
shame　and　pain；　as　in　the　Lyapinsky　house；　and　I　understood　that　what
I　had　undertaken　was　abominable　and　foolish　and　therefore
impracticable。　　And　I　no　longer　took　notes　of　anybody；　and　I　asked　no
questions；　knowing　that　nothing　would　come　of　this。

I　was　deeply　pained。　　In　the　Lyapinsky　house　I　had　been　like　a　man
who　has　seen　a　fearful　wound；　by　chance；　on　the　body　of　another　man。
He　is　sorry　for　the　other　man；　he　is　ashamed　that　he　has　not　pitied
the　man　before；　and　he　can　still　rise　to　the　succor　of　the　sufferer。
But　now　I　was　like　a　physician；　who　has　come　with　his　medicine　to　the
sick　man；　has　uncovered　his　sore；　and　examined　it；　and　who　must
confess　to　himself　that　every　thing　that　he　has　done　has　been　in
vain；　and　that　his　remedy　is　good　for　nothing。



CHAPTER　XI。



This　visit　dealt　the　final　blow　to　my　self…delusion。　　It　now　appeared
indisputable　to　me；　that　what　I　had　undertaken　was　not　only　foolish
but　loathsome。

But；　in　spite　of　the　fact　that　I　was　aware　of　this；　it　seemed　to　me
that　I　could　not　abandon　the　whole　thing　on　the　spot。　　It　seemed　to
me　that　I　was　bound　to　carry　out　this　enterprise；　in　the　first　place；
because　by　my　article；　by　my　visits　and　promises；　I　had　aroused　the
expectations　of　the　poor；　in　the　second；　because　by　my　article　also；
and　by　my　talk；　I　had　aroused　the　sympathies　of　benevolent　persons；
many　of　whom　had　promised　me　their　co…operation　both　in　personal
labor　and　in　money。　　And　I　expected　that　both　sets　of　people　would
turn　to　me　for　an　answer　to　this。

What　happened　to　me；　so　far　as　the　appeal　of　the　needy　to　me　is
concerned；　was　as　follows：　　By　letter　and　personal　application　I
received　more　than　a　hundred；　these　applications　were　all　from　the
wealthy…poor；　if　I　may　so　express　myself。　　I　went　to　see　some　of
them；　and　some　of　them　received　no　answer。　　Nowhere　did　I　succeed　in
doing　any　thing。　　All　applications　to　me　were　from　persons　who　had
once　occupied　privileged　positions　（I　thus　designate　those　in　which
people　receive　more　from　others　than　they　give）；　who　had　lost　them；
and　who　wished　to　occupy　them　again。　　To　one；　two　hundred　rubles　were
indispensable；　in　order　that　he　might　prop　up　a　failing　business；　and
complete　the　education　of　his　children　which　had　been　begun；　another
wanted　a　photographic　outfit；　a　third　wanted　his　debts　paid；　and
respectable　clothing　purchased　for　him；　a　fourth　needed　a　piano；　in
order　to　perfect　himself　and　support　his　family　by　giving　lessons。
But　the　majority　did　not　stipulate　for　any　given　sum　of　money；　and
simply　asked　for　assistance；　and　when　I　came　to　examine　into　what　was
required；　it　turned　out　that　their　demands　grew　in　proportion　to　the
aid；　and　that　there　was　not　and　could　not　be　any　way　of　satisfying
them。　　I　repeat；　that　it　is　very　possible　that　this　arose　from　the
fact　that　I　did　not　understand　how；　but　I　did　not　help　any　one；
although　I　sometimes　endeavored　to　do　so。

A　very　strange　and　unexpected　thing　happened　to　me　as　regards　the　co…
operation　of　the　benevolently　disposed。　　Out　of　all　the　persons　who
had　promised　me　financial　aid；　and　who　had　even　stated　the　number　of
rubles；　not　a　single　one　handed　to　me　for　distribution　among　the　poor
one　solitary　ruble。　　But　according　to　the　pledges　which　had　been
given　me；　I　could　reckon　on　about　three　thousand　rubles；　and　out　of
all　these　people；　not　one　remembered　our　former　discussions；　or　gave
me　a　single　kopek。　　Only　the　students　gave　the　money　which　had　been
assigned　to　them　for　their　work　on　the　census；　twelve　rubles；　I
think。　　So　my　whole　scheme；　which　was　to　have　been　expressed　by　tens
of　thousands　of　rubles　contributed　by　the　wealthy；　for　hundreds　and
thousands　of　poor　people　who　were　to　be　rescued　from　poverty　and
vice；　dwindled　down　to　this；　that　I　gave　away；　haphazard；　a　few
scores　of　rubles　to　those　people　who　asked　me　for　them；　and　that
there　remained　in　my　hands　twelve　rubies　contributed　by　the　students；
and　twenty…five　sent　to　me　by　the　City　Council　for　my　labor　as　a
superintendent；　and　I　absolutely　did　not　know　to　whom　to　give　them。

The　whole　matter　came　to　an　end。　　And　then；　before　my　departure　for
the　country；　on　the　Sunday　before　carnival；　I　went　to　the　Rzhanoff
house　in　the　morning；　in　order　to　get　rid　of　those　thirty…seven
rubles　before　I　should　leave　Moscow；　and　to　distribute　them　to　the
poor。　　I　made　the　round　of　the　quarters　with　which　I　was　familiar；
and　in　them　found　only　one　sick　man；　to　whom　I　gave　five　rubles。
There　was　no　one　else　there　to　give　any　to。　　Of　course　many　began　to
beg　of　me。　　But　as　I　had　not　known　them　at　first；　so　I　did　not　know
them　now；　and　I　made　up　my　mind　to　take　counsel　with　Ivan　Fedotitch；
the　landlord　of　the　tavern；　as　to　the　persons　upon　whom　it　would　be
proper　to　bestow　the　remaining　thirty…two　rubies。

It　was　the　first　day　of　the　carnival。　　Everybody　was　dressed　up；　and
everybody　was　full…fed；　and　many　were　already　intoxicated。　　In　the
court…yard；　close　to　the　house；　stood　an　old　man；　a　rag…picker；　in　a
tattered　smock　and　bast　shoes；　sorting　over　the　booty　in　his　basket；
tossing　out　leather；　iron；　and　other　stuff　in　piles；　and　breaking
into　a　merry　song；　with　a　fine；　powerful　voice。　　I　entered　into
conversation　with　him。　　He　was　seventy　years　old；　he　was　alone　in　the
world；　and　supported　himself　by　his　calling　of　a　rag…picker；　and　not
only　did　he　utter　no　complaints；　but　he　said　that　he　had　plenty　to
eat　and　drink。　　I　inquired　of　him　as　to　especially　needy　persons。　　He
flew　into　a　rage；　and　said　plainly　that　there　were　no　needy　people；
except　drunkards　and　lazy　men；　but；　on　learning　my　object；　he　asked
me　for　a　five…kopek　piece　to　buy　a　drink；　and　ran　off　to　the　tavern。
I　too　entered　the　tavern　to　see　Ivan　Fedotitch；　and　commission　him　to
distribute　the　money　which　I　had　left。　　The　tavern　was　full；　gayly…
dressed；　intox