the moscow census-第10章

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were　filled　with　women；　whom　he　called　prostitutes；　and　that　I　felt
compassion　for　this　woman；　and　that　I　gave　expression　to　both
feelings。　　No　sooner　had　I　spoken　thus；　than　the　boards　of　the　bed　in
the　next　compartment；　whence　the　laugh　had　proceeded；　began　to　creak；
and　above　the　partition；　which　did　not　reach　to　the　ceiling；　there
appeared　a　woman's　curly　and　dishevelled　head；　with　small；　swollen
eyes；　and　a　shining；　red　face；　followed　by　a　second；　and　then　by　a
third。　　They　were　evidently　standing　on　their　beds；　and　all　three
were　craning　their　necks；　and　holding　their　breath　with　strained
attention；　and　gazing　silently　at　us。

A　troubled　pause　ensued。　　The　student；　who　had　been　smiling　up　to
this　time；　became　serious；　the　landlord　grew　confused　and　dropped　his
eyes。　　All　the　women　held　their　breath；　stared　at　me；　and　waited。　　I
was　more　embarrassed　than　any　of　them。　　I　had　not；　in　the　least；
anticipated　that　a　chance　remark　would　produce　such　an　effect。　　Like
Ezekiel's　field　of　death；　strewn　with　dead　men's　bones；　there　was　a
quiver　at　the　touch　of　the　spirit；　and　the　dead　bones　stirred。　　I　had
uttered　an　unpremeditated　word　of　love　and　sympathy；　and　this　word
had　acted　on　all　as　though　they　had　only　been　waiting　for　this　very
remark；　in　order　that　they　might　cease　to　be　corpses　and　might　live。
They　all　stared　at　me；　and　waited　for　what　would　come　next。　　They
waited　for　me　to　utter　those　words；　and　to　perform　those　actions　by
reason　of　which　these　bones　might　draw　together；　clothe　themselves
with　flesh；　and　spring　into　life。　　But　I　felt　that　I　had　no　such
words；　no　such　actions；　by　means　of　which　I　could　continue　what　I　had
begun；　I　was　conscious；　in　the　depths　of　my　soul；　that　I　had　lied
＇that　I　was　just　like　them＇；　｛9｝　and　there　was　nothing　further　for　me
to　say；　and　I　began　to　inscribe　on　the　cards　the　names　and　callings
of　all　the　persons　in　this　set　of　apartments。

This　incident　led　me　into　a　fresh　dilemma；　to　the　thought　of　how
these　unfortunates　also　might　be　helped。　　In　my　self…delusion；　I
fancied　that　this　would　be　very　easy。　　I　said　to　myself：　　〃Here；　we
will　make　a　note　of　all　these　women　also；　and　LATER　ON　when　we　＇I　did
not　specify　to　myself　who　〃we〃　were＇　write　every　thing　out；　we　will
attend　to　these　persons　too。〃　　I　imagined　that　we；　the　very　ones　who
have　brought　and　have　been　bringing　these　women　to　this　condition　for
several　generations；　would　take　thought　some　fine　day　and　reform　all
this。　　But；　in　the　mean　time；　if　I　had　only　recalled　my　conversation
with　the　disreputable　woman　who　had　been　rocking　the　baby　of　the
fever…stricken　patient；　I　might　have　comprehended　the　full　extent　of
the　folly　of　such　a　supposition。

When　we　saw　this　woman　with　the　baby；　we　thought　that　it　was　her
child。　　To　the　question；　〃Who　was　she？〃　she　had　replied　in　a
straightforward　way　that　she　was　unmarried。　　She　did　not　saya
prostitute。　　Only　the　master　of　the　apartment　made　use　of　that
frightful　word。　　The　supposition　that　she　had　a　child　suggested　to　me
the　idea　of　removing　her　from　her　position。　　I　inquired：

〃Is　this　your　child？〃

〃No；　it　belongs　to　that　woman　yonder。〃

〃Why　are　you　taking　care　of　it？〃

〃Because　she　asked　me；　she　is　dying。〃

Although　my　supposition　proved　to　be　erroneous；　I　continued　my
conversation　with　her　in　the　same　spirit。　　I　began　to　question　her　as
to　who　she　was；　and　how　she　had　come　to　such　a　state。　　She　related
her　history　very　readily　and　simply。　　She　was　a　Moscow　myeshchanka；
the　daughter　of　a　factory　hand。　　She　had　been　left　an　orphan；　and　had
been　adopted　by　an　aunt。　　From　her　aunt's　she　had　begun　to　frequent
the　taverns。　　The　aunt　was　now　dead。　　When　I　asked　her　whether　she
did　not　wish　to　alter　her　mode　of　life；　my　question；　evidently；　did
not　even　arouse　her　interest。　　How　can　one　take　an　interest　in　the
proposition　of　a　man；　in　regard　to　something　absolutely　impossible？
She　laughed；　and　said：　　〃And　who　would　take　me　in　with　my　yellow
ticket？〃

〃Well；　but　if　a　place　could　be　found　somewhere　as　cook？〃　said　I。

This　thought　occurred　to　me　because　she　was　a　stout；　ruddy　woman；
with　a　kindly；　round；　and　rather　stupid　face。　　Cooks　are　often　like
that。　　My　words　evidently　did　not　please　her。　　She　repeated：

〃A　cookbut　I　don't　know　how　to　make　bread；〃　said　she；　and　she
laughed。　　She　said　that　she　did　not　know　how；　but　I　saw　from　the
expression　of　her　countenance　that　she　did　not　wish　to　become　a　cook；
that　she　regarded　the　position　and　calling　of　a　cook　as　low。

This　woman；　who　in　the　simplest　possible　manner　was　sacrificing　every
thing　that　she　had　for　the　sick　woman；　like　the　widow　in　the　Gospels；
at　the　same　time；　like　many　of　her　companions；　regarded　the　position
of　a　person　who　works　as　low　and　deserving　of　scorn。　　She　had　been
brought　up　to　live　not　by　work；　but　by　this　life　which　was　considered
the　natural　one　for　her　by　those　about　her。　　In　that　lay　her
misfortune。　　And　she　fell　in　with　this　misfortune　and　clung　to　her
position。　　This　led　her　to　frequent　the　taverns。　　Which　of　usman　or
womanwill　correct　her　false　view　of　life？　　Where　among　us　are　the
people　to　be　found　who　are　convinced　that　every　laborious　life　is
more　worthy　of　respect　than　an　idle　life；who　are　convinced　of　this；
and　who　live　in　conformity　with　this　belief；　and　who　in　conformity
with　this　conviction　value　and　respect　people？　　If　I　had　thought　of
this；　I　might　have　understood　that　neither　I；　nor　any　other　person
among　my　acquaintances；　could　heal　this　complaint。

I　might　have　understood　that　these　amazed　and　affected　heads　thrust
over　the　partition　indicated　only　surprise　at　the　sympathy　expressed
for　them；　but　not　in　the　least　a　hope　of　reclamation　from　their
dissolute　life。　　They　do　not　perceive　the　immorality　of　their　life。
They　see　that　they　are　despised　and　cursed；　but　for　what　they　are
thus　despised　they　cannot　comprehend。　　Their　life；　from　childhood；
has　been　spent　among　just　such　women；　who；　as　they　very　well　know；
always　have　existed；　and　are　indispensable　to　society；　and　so
indispensable　that　there　are　governmental　officials　to　attend　to
their　legal　existence。　　Moreover；　they　know　that　they　have　power　over
men；　and　can　bring　them　into　subjection；　and　rule　them　often　more
than　other　women。　　They　see　that　their　position　in　society　is
recognized　by　women　and　men　and　the　authorities；　in　spite　of　their
continual　curses；　and　therefore；　they　cannot　understand　why　they
should　reform。

In　the　course　of　one　of　the　tours；　one　of　the　students　told　me　that
in　a　certain　lodging；　there　was　a　woman　who　was　bargaining　for　her
thirteen…year…old　daughter。　　Being　desirous　of　rescuing　this　girl；　I
made　a　trip　to　that　lodging　expressly。　　Mother　and　daughter　were
living　in　the　greatest　poverty。　　The　mother；　a　small；　dark…
complexioned；　dissolute　woman　of　forty；　was　not　only　homely；　but
repulsively　homely。　　The　daughter　was　equally　disagreeable。　　To　all
my　pointed　questions　about　their　life；　the　mother　responded　curtly；
suspiciously；　and　in　a　hostile　way；　evidently　feeling　that　I　was　an
enemy；　with　evil　intentions；　the　daughter　made　no　reply；　did　not　look
at　her　mother；　and　evidently　trusted　the　latter　fully。　　They　inspired
me　with　no　sincere　pity；　but　rather　with　disgust。　　But　I　made　up　my
mind　that　the　daughter　must　be　rescued；　and　that　I　would　interest
ladies　who　pitied　the　sad　condition　of　these　women；　and　send　them
hither。　　But　if　I　had　reflected　on　the　mother's　long　life　in　the
past；　of　how　she　had　given　birth　to；　nursed　and　reared　this　daughter
in　her　situation；　assuredly　without　the　slightest　assistance　from
outsiders；　and　with　heavy　sacrificesif　I　had　reflected　on　the　view
of　life　which　this　woman　had　formed；　I　should　have　understood　that
there　was；　decidedly；　nothing　bad　or　immoral　in　the　mother's　act：
she　had　done　and　was　doing　for　her　daughter　all　that　she　could；　that
is　to　say；　what　she　considered　the　best　for　herself。　　This　daughter
could　be　forcibly　removed　from　her　mother；　but　it　would　be　impossible
to　convince　the　mother　that　she　was　doing　wrong；　in　selling　her
daughter。　　If　any　one　was　to　be　saved；　then　it　must　be　this　woman
the　mother　ought　to　have　been　saved；　＇and　that　long　before；　fr