cranford(克兰弗德)-第57章
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with a glass of cowslip wine before I could check the crying which had
been repressed for the last two or three days。 The worst was； all the
ladies cried in concert。 Even Miss Pole cried； who had said a hundred
times that to betray emotion before any one was a sign of weakness and
want of self…control。 She recovered herself into a slight degree of
impatient anger； directed against me； as having set them all off； and；
moreover； I think she was vexed that I could not make a speech back in
return for hers； and if I had known beforehand what was to be said； and
had a card on which to express the probable feelings that would rise in
my heart； I would have tried to gratify her。 As it was； Mrs Forrester
was the person to speak when we had recovered our composure。
〃I don't mind； among friends； stating that I … no！ I'm not poor
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exactly； but I don't think I'm what you may call rich； I wish I were； for
dear Miss Matty's sake … but； if you please； I'll write down in a sealed
paper what I can give。 I only wish it was more； my dear Mary； I do
indeed。〃
Now I saw why paper； pens； and ink were provided。 Every lady
wrote down the sum she could give annually； signed the paper； and
sealed it mysteriously。 If their proposal was acceded to； my father was
to be allowed to open the papers； under pledge of secrecy。 If not； they
were to be returned to their writers。
When the ceremony had been gone through； I rose to depart； but each
lady seemed to wish to have a private conference with me。 Miss Pole
kept me in the drawing…room to explain why； in Mrs Jamieson's absence；
she had taken the lead in this 〃movement；〃 as she was pleased to call it；
and also to inform me that she had heard from good sources that Mrs
Jamieson was coming home directly in a state of high displeasure
against her sister…in…law； who was forthwith to leave her house； and was；
she believed； to return to Edinburgh that very afternoon。 Of course this
piece of intelligence could not be communicated before Mrs Fitz…Adam；
more especially as Miss Pole was inclined to think that Lady Glenmire's
engagement to Mr Hoggins could not possibly hold against the blaze of
Mrs Jamieson's displeasure。 A few hearty inquiries after Miss Matty's
health concluded my interview with Miss Pole。
On coming downstairs I found Mrs Forrester waiting for me at the
entrance to the dining…parlour； she drew me in； and when the door was
shut； she tried two or three times to begin on some subject； which was so
unapproachable apparently； that I began to despair of our ever getting to
a clear understanding。 At last out it came； the poor old lady trembling
all the time as if it were a great crime which she was exposing to
daylight； in telling me how very； very little she had to live upon； a
confession which she was brought to make from a dread lest we should
think that the small contribution named in her paper bore any proportion
to her love and regard for Miss Matty。 And yet that sum which she so
eagerly relinquished was； in truth； more than a twentieth part of what she
had to live upon； and keep house； and a little serving…maid； all as
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became one born a Tyrrell。 And when the whole income does not
nearly amount to a hundred pounds； to give up a twentieth of it will
necessitate many careful economies； and many pieces of self… denial； small
and insignificant in the world's account； but bearing a different value in
another account…book that I have heard of。 She did so wish she was rich；
she said； and this wish she kept repeating； with no thought of herself in it；
only with a longing； yearning desire to be able to heap up Miss Matty's
measure of comforts。
It was some time before I could console her enough to leave her； and
then； on quitting the house； I was waylaid by Mrs Fitz…Adam； who had
also her confidence to make of pretty nearly the opposite description。
She had not liked to put down all that she could afford and was ready to
give。 She told me she thought she never could look Miss Matty in the
face again if she presumed to be giving her so much as she should like to
do。 〃Miss Matty！〃 continued she； 〃that I thought was such a fine young
lady when I was nothing but a country girl； coming to market with eggs
and butter and such like things。 For my father； though well…to…do；
would always make me go on as my mother had done before me； and I
had to come into Cranford every Saturday； and see after sales； and prices；
and what not。 And one day； I remember； I met Miss Matty in the lane
that leads to Combehurst； she was walking on the footpath； which； you
know； is raised a good way above the road； and a gentleman rode beside
her； and was talking to her； and she was looking down at some primroses
she had gathered； and pulling them all to pieces； and I do believe she
was crying。 But after she had passed； she turned round and ran after
me to ask … oh； so kindly … about my poor mother； who lay on her death…
bed； and when I cried she took hold of my hand to comfort me … and the
gentleman waiting for her all the time … and her poor heart very full of
something； I am sure； and I thought it such an honour to be spoken to in
that pretty way by the rector's daughter； who visited at Arley Hall。 I
have loved her ever since； though perhaps I'd no right to do it； but if you
can think of any way in which I might be allowed to give a little more
without any one knowing it； I should be so much obliged to you； my
dear。 And my brother would be delighted to doctor her for nothing …
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medicines； leeches； and all。 I know that he and her ladyship （my dear； I
little thought in the days I was telling you of that I should ever come to
be sister…in…law to a ladyship！） would do anything for her。 We all
would。〃
I told her I was quite sure of it； and promised all sorts of things in
my anxiety to get home to Miss Matty； who might well be wondering
what had become of me … absent from her two hours without being able
to account for it。 She had taken very little note of time； however； as she
had been occupied in numberless little arrangements preparatory to the
great step of giving up her house。 It was evidently a relief to her to be
doing
