the essays of montaigne, v13-第13章
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if the mind plays its part well： if the body find itself relieved by
complaining let it complain： if agitation ease it； let it tumble and toss
at pleasure； if it seem to find the disease evaporate （as some physicians
hold that it helps women in delivery） in making loud outcries； or if this
do but divert its torments； let it roar as it will。 Let us not command
this voice to sally； but stop it not。 Epicurus； not only forgives his
sage for crying out in torments； but advises him to it：
〃Pugiles etiam； quum feriunt； in jactandis caestibus
ingemiscunt； quia profundenda voce omne corpus intenditur；
venitque plaga vehementior。〃
＇〃Boxers also； when they strike； groan in the act； because with the
strength of voice the whole body is carried； and the blow comes with
the greater vehemence。〃Cicero； Tusc。 Quaes。； ii。 23。＇
We have enough to do to deal with the disease； without troubling
ourselves with these superfluous rules。
Which I say in excuse of those whom we ordinarily see impatient in the
assaults of this malady； for as to what concerns myself； I have passed it
over hitherto with a little better countenance； and contented myself with
groaning without roaring out； not； nevertheless； that I put any great
constraint upon myself to maintain this exterior decorum； for I make
little account of such an advantage： I allow herein as much as the pain
requires； but either my pains are not so excessive； or I have more than
ordinary patience。 I complain； I confess； and am a little impatient in a
very sharp fit； but I do not arrive to such a degree of despair as he who
with：
〃Ejulatu； questu； gemitu； fremitibus
Resonando； multum flebiles voces refert：〃
＇〃Howling； roaring； groaning with a thousand noises； expressing his
torment in a dismal voice。〃 （Or：） 〃Wailing； complaining； groaning；
murmuring much avail lugubrious sounds。〃Verses of Attius； in his
Phaloctetes； quoted by Cicero； De Finib。； ii。 29； Tusc。 Quaes。；
ii。 14。＇
I try myself in the depth of my suffering； and have always found that I
was in a capacity to speak； think； and give a rational answer as well as
at any other time； but not so firmly； being troubled and interrupted by
the pain。 When I am looked upon by my visitors to be in the greatest
torment； and that they therefore forbear to trouble me； I often essay my
own strength； and myself set some discourse on foot； the most remote I
can contrive from my present condition。 I can do anything upon a sudden
endeavour； but it must not continue long。 Oh； what pity 'tis I have not
the faculty of that dreamer in Cicero； who dreaming he was lying with a
wench； found he had discharged his stone in the sheets。 My pains
strangely deaden my appetite that way。 In the intervals from this
excessive torment； when my ureters only languish without any great dolor；
I presently feel myself in my wonted state； forasmuch as my soul takes no
other alarm but what is sensible and corporal； which I certainly owe to
the care I have had of preparing myself by meditation against such
accidents：
〃Laborum；
Nulla mihi nova nunc facies inopinave surgit；
Omnia praecepi； atque animo mecum ante peregi。〃
＇〃No new shape of suffering can arise new or unexpected； I have
anticipated all； and acted them over beforehand in my mind。〃
AEneid； vi。 103。＇
I am； however； a little roughly handled for an apprentice； and with a
sudden and sharp alteration； being fallen in an instant from a very easy
and happy condition of life into the most uneasy and painful that can be
imagined。 For besides that it is a disease very much to be feared in
itself； it begins with me after a more sharp and severe manner than it is
used to do with other men。 My fits come so thick upon me that I am
scarcely ever at ease； yet I have hitherto kept my mind so upright that；
provided I can still continue it； I find myself in a much better
condition of life than a thousand others； who have no fewer nor other
disease but what they create to themselves for want of meditation。
There is a certain sort of crafty humility that springs from presumption；
as this； for example； that we confess our ignorance in many things； and
are so courteous as to acknowledge that there are in the works of nature
some qualities and conditions that are imperceptible to us； and of which
our understanding cannot discover the means and causes； by this so honest
and conscientious declaration we hope to obtain that people shall also
believe us as to those that we say we do understand。 We need not trouble
ourselves to seek out foreign miracles and difficulties； methinks；
amongst the things that we ordinarily see； there are such
incomprehensible wonders as surpass all difficulties of miracles。 What a
wonderful thing it is that the drop of seed from which we are produced
should carry in itself the impression not only of the bodily form； but
even of the thoughts and inclinations of our fathers！ Where can that
drop of fluid matter contain that infinite number of forms？ and how can
they carry on these resemblances with so precarious and irregular a
process that the son shall be like his great…grandfather； the nephew like
his uncle？ In the family of Lepidus at Rome there were three； not
successively but by intervals； who were born with the same eye covered
with a cartilage。 At Thebes there was a race that carried from their
mother's womb the form of the head of a lance； and he who was not born so
was looked upon as illegitimate。 And Aristotle says that in a certain
nation； where the women were in common； they assigned the children to
their fathers by their resemblance。
'Tis to be believed that I derive this infirmity from my father； for he
died wonderfully tormented with a great stone in his bladder； he was
never sensible of his disease till the sixty…seventh year of his age； and
before that had never felt any menace or symptoms of it； either in his
reins； sides； or any other part； and had lived； till then； in a happy；
vigorous state of health； little subject to infirmities； and he continued
seven years after in this disease； dragging on a very painful end of
life。 I was born about five…and…twenty years before his disease seized
him； and in the time of his most flourishing and healthful state of body；
his third child in order of birth： where could his propension to this
malady lie lurking all that while？ And he being then so far from the
infirmity； how could that small part of his substance wherewith he made
me； carry away so great an impression for its share？ and how so
concealed； that till five…and…forty years after； I did not begin to be
sensible of it？ being the only one to this hour； amongst so many
brothers and sisters； and all by one mother； that was ever troubled with
it。 He that can satisfy me in this point； I will believe him in as many
other miracles as he pleases； always provided that； as their manner is；
he do not give me a doctrine much more intricate and fantastic than the
thing itself for current pay。
Let the physicians a little excuse the liberty I take； for by this same
infusion and fatal insinuation it is that I have received a hatred and
contempt of their doctrine； the antipathy I have against their art is
hereditary。 My father lived three…score and fourteen years； my
grandfather sixty…nine； my great…grandfather almost fourscore years；
without ever tasting any sort of physic； and； with them； whatever was not
ordinary diet； was instead of a drug。 Physic is grounded upon experience
and examples： so is my opinion。 And is not this an express and very
advantageous experience。 I do not know that they can find me in all
their records three that were born； bred； and died under the same roof；
who have lived so long by their conduct。 They must here of necessity
confess； that if reason be not； fortune at least is on my side； and with
physicians fortune goes a great deal further than reason。 Let them not
take me now at a disadvantage； let them not threaten me in the subdued
condition wherein I now am； that
