16-is shakespeare dead-第4章

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He　lived　five　or　six　yearstill　1616in　the　joy　of　these

elevated　pursuits。　　Then　he　made　a　will；　and　signed　each　of　its

three　pages　with　his　name。



A　thoroughgoing　business　man's　will。　　It　named　in　minute

detail　every　item　of　property　he　owned　in　the　worldhouses；

lands；　sword；　silver…gilt　bowl；　and　so　onall　the　way　down　to

his　〃second…best　bed〃　and　its　furniture。



It　carefully　and　calculatingly　distributed　his　riches　among

the　members　of　his　family；　overlooking　no　individual　of　it。　　Not

even　his　wife：　　the　wife　he　had　been　enabled　to　marry　in　a　hurry

by　urgent　grace　of　a　special　dispensation　before　he　was　nineteen；

the　wife　whom　he　had　left　husbandless　so　many　years；　the　wife　who

had　had　to　borrow　forty…one　shillings　in　her　need；　and　which　the

lender　was　never　able　to　collect　of　the　prosperous　husband；　but

died　at　last　with　the　money　still　lacking。　　No；　even　this　wife

was　remembered　in　Shakespeare's　will。



He　left　her　that　〃second…best　bed。〃



And　NOT　ANOTHER　THING；　not　even　a　penny　to　bless　her　lucky

widowhood　with。



It　was　eminently　and　conspicuously　a　business　man's　will；

not　a　poet's。



It　mentioned　NOT　A　SINGLE　BOOK。



Books　were　much　more　precious　than　swords　and　silver…gilt

bowls　and　second…best　beds　in　those　days；　and　when　a　departing

person　owned　one　he　gave　it　a　high　place　in　his　will。



The　will　mentioned　NOT　A　PLAY；　NOT　A　POEM；　NOT　AN　UNFINISHED

LITERARY　WORK；　NOT　A　SCRAP　OF　MANUSCRIPT　OF　ANY　KIND。



Many　poets　have　died　poor；　but　this　is　the　only　one　in

history　that　has　died　THIS　poor；　the　others　all　left　literary

remains　behind。　　Also　a　book。　　Maybe　two。



If　Shakespeare　had　owned　a　dogbut　we　not　go　into　that：　　we

know　he　would　have　mentioned　it　in　his　will。　　If　a　good　dog；

Susanna　would　have　got　it；　if　an　inferior　one　his　wife　would　have

got　a　downer　interest　in　it。　　I　wish　he　had　had　a　dog；　just　so　we

could　see　how　painstakingly　he　would　have　divided　that　dog　among

the　family；　in　his　careful　business　way。



He　signed　the　will　in　three　places。



In　earlier　years　he　signed　two　other　official　documents。



These　five　signatures　still　exist。



There　are　NO　OTHER　SPECIMENS　OF　HIS　PENMANSHIP　IN　EXISTENCE。

Not　a　line。



Was　he　prejudiced　against　the　art？　　His　granddaughter；　whom

he　loved；　was　eight　years　old　when　he　died；　yet　she　had　had　no

teaching；　he　left　no　provision　for　her　education；　although　he　was

rich；　and　in　her　mature　womanhood　she　couldn't　write　and　couldn't

tell　her　husband's　manuscript　from　anybody　else'sshe　thought　it

was　Shakespeare's。



When　Shakespeare　died　in　Stratford；　IT　WAS　NOT　AN　EVENT。　　It

made　no　more　stir　in　England　than　the　death　of　any　other

forgotten　theater…actor　would　have　made。　　Nobody　came　down　from

London；　there　were　no　lamenting　poems；　no　eulogies；　no　national

tearsthere　was　merely　silence；　and　nothing　more。　　A　striking

contrast　with　what　happened　when　Ben　Jonson；　and　Francis　Bacon；

and　Spenser；　and　Raleigh；　and　the　other　distinguished　literary

folk　of　Shakespeare's　time　passed　from　life！　　No　praiseful　voice

was　lifted　for　the　lost　Bard　of　Avon；　even　Ben　Jonson　waited

seven　years　before　he　lifted　his。



SO　FAR　AS　ANYBODY　ACTUALLY　KNOWS　AND　CAN　PROVE；　Shakespeare

of　Stratford…on…Avon　never　wrote　a　play　in　his　life。





SO　FAR　AS　ANY　ONE　KNOWS；　HE　RECEIVED　ONLY　ONE　LETTER

DURING　HIS　LIFE。



So　far　as　any　one　KNOWS　AND　CAN　PROVE；　Shakespeare　of

Stratford　wrote　only　one　poem　during　his　life。　　This　one　is

authentic。　　He　did　write　that　onea　fact　which　stands

undisputed；　he　wrote　the　whole　of　it；　he　wrote　the　whole　of　it

out　of　his　own　head。　　He　commanded　that　this　work　of　art　be

engraved　upon　his　tomb；　and　he　was　obeyed。　　There　it　abides　to

this　day。　　This　is　it：





Good　friend　for　Iesus　sake　forbeare

To　digg　the　dust　encloased　heare：

Blest　be　ye　man　yt　spares　thes　stones

And　curst　be　he　yt　moves　my　bones。





In　the　list　as　above　set　down　will　be　found　EVERY　POSITIVELY

KNOWN　fact　of　Shakespeare's　life；　lean　and　meager　as　the　invoice

is。　　Beyond　these　details　we　know　NOT　A　THING　about　him。　　All　the

rest　of　his　vast　history；　as　furnished　by　the　biographers；　is

built　up；　course　upon　course；　of　guesses；　inferences；　theories；

conjecturesan　Eiffel　Tower　of　artificialities　rising　sky…high

from　a　very　flat　and　very　thin　foundation　of　inconsequential

facts。





IV



Conjectures



The　historians　〃suppose〃　that　Shakespeare　attended　the　Free

School　in　Stratford　from　the　time　he　was　seven　years　old　till　he

was　thirteen。　　There　is　no　EVIDENCE　in　existence　that　he　ever

went　to　school　at　all。



The　historians　〃infer〃　that　he　got　his　Latin　in　that　school

the　school　which　they　〃suppose〃　he　attended。



They　〃suppose〃　his　father's　declining　fortunes　made　it

necessary　for　him　to　leave　the　school　they　supposed　he　attended；

and　get　to　work　and　help　support　his　parents　and　their　ten

children。　　But　there　is　no　evidence　that　he　ever　entered　or

returned　from　the　school　they　suppose　he　attended。



They　〃suppose〃　he　assisted　his　father　in　the　butchering

business；　and　that；　being　only　a　boy；　he　didn't　have　to　do　full…

grown　butchering；　but　only　slaughtering　calves。　　Also；　that

whenever　he　killed　a　calf　he　made　a　high…flown　speech　over　it。

This　supposition　rests　upon　the　testimony　of　a　man　who　wasn't

there　at　the　time；　a　man　who　got　it　from　a　man　who　could　have

been　there；　but　did　not　say　whether　he　was　nor　not；　and　neither

of　them　thought　to　mention　it　for　decades；　and　decades；　and

decades；　and　two　more　decades　after　Shakespeare's　death　（until

old　age　and　mental　decay　had　refreshed　and　vivified　their

memories）。　　They　hadn't　two　facts　in　stock　about　the　long…dead

distinguished　citizen；　but　only　just　the　one：　　he　slaughtered

calves　and　broke　into　oratory　while　he　was　at　it。　　Curious。　　They

had　only　one　fact；　yet　the　distinguished　citizen　had　spent

twenty…six　years　in　that　little　townjust　half　his　lifetime。

However；　rightly　viewed；　it　was　the　most　important　fact；　indeed

almost　the　only　important　fact；　of　Shakespeare's　life　in

Stratford。　　Rightly　viewed。　　For　experience　is　an　author's　most

valuable　asset；　experience　is　the　thing　that　puts　the　muscle　and

the　breath　and　the　warm　blood　into　the　book　he　writes。　　Rightly

viewed；　calf…butchering　accounts　for　〃Titus　Andronicus；〃　the　only

playain't　it？that　the　Stratford　Shakespeare　ever　wrote；　and

yet　it　is　the　only　one　everybody　tried　to　chouse　him　out　of；　the

Baconians　included。



The　historians　find　themselves　〃justified　in　believing〃　that

the　young　Shakespeare　poached　upon　Sir　Thomas　Lucy's　deer　preserves

and　got　haled　before　that　magistrate　for　it。　　But　there　is　no　shred

of　respectworthy　evidence　that　anything　of　the　kind　happened。



The　historians；　having　argued　the　thing　that　MIGHT　have

happened　into　the　thing　that　DID　happen；　found　no　trouble　in

turning　Sir　Thomas　Lucy　into　Mr。　Justice　Shallow。　　They　have　long

ago　convinced　the　worldon　surmise　and　without　trustworthy

evidencethat　Shallow　IS　Sir　Thomas。



The　next　addition　to　the　young　Shakespeare's　Stratford

history　comes　easy。　　The　historian　builds　it　out　of　the　surmised

deer…steeling；　and　the　surmised　trial　before　the　magistrate；　and

the　surmised　vengeance…prompted　satire　upon　the　magistrate　in　the

play：　　result；　the　young　Shakespeare　was　a　wild；　wild；　wild；　oh；

SUCH　a　wild　young　scamp；　and　that　gratuitous　slander　is

established　for　all　time！　　It　is　the　very　way　Professor　Osborn

and　I　built　the　colossal　skeleton　brontosaur　that　stands　fifty…

seven　feet　long　and　sixteen　feet　high　in　the　Natural　History

Museum；　the　awe　and　admiration　of　all　the　world；　the　stateliest

skeleton　that　exists　on　the　planet。　　We　had　nine　bones；　and　we

built　the　rest　of　him　out　of　plaster　of　Paris。　　We　ran　short　of

plaster　of　Paris；　or　we'd　have　built　a　brontosaur　that　could　sit

down　beside　the　Stratford　Shakespeare　and　none　but　an　expert

could　tell　which　was　biggest