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IS SHAKESPEARE DEAD?



(from My Autobiography)





Scattered here and there through the stacks of unpublished

manuscript which constitute this formidable Autobiography and

Diary of mine; certain chapters will in some distant future be

found which deal with 〃Claimants〃claimants historically

notorious:  Satan; Claimant; the Golden Calf; Claimant; the

Veiled Prophet of Khorassan; Claimant; Louis XVII。; Claimant;

William Shakespeare; Claimant; Arthur Orton; Claimant; Mary Baker

G。 Eddy; Claimantand the rest of them。  Eminent Claimants;

successful Claimants; defeated Claimants; royal Claimants; pleb

Claimants; showy Claimants; shabby Claimants; revered Claimants;

despised Claimants; twinkle star…like here and there and yonder

through the mists of history and legend and traditionand; oh;

all the darling tribe are clothed in mystery and romance; and we

read about them with deep interest and discuss them with loving

sympathy or with rancorous resentment; according to which side we

hitch ourselves to。  It has always been so with the human race。

There was never a Claimant that couldn't get a hearing; nor one

that couldn't accumulate a rapturous following; no matter how

flimsy and apparently unauthentic his claim might be。  Arthur

Orton's claim that he was the lost Tichborne baronet come to life

again was as flimsy as Mrs。 Eddy's that she wrote SCIENCE AND

HEALTH from the direct dictation of the Deity; yet in England

nearly forty years ago Orton had a huge army of devotees and

incorrigible adherents; many of whom remained stubbornly

unconvinced after their fat god had been proven an impostor and

jailed as a perjurer; and today Mrs。 Eddy's following is not only

immense; but is daily augmenting in numbers and enthusiasm。

Orton had many fine and educated minds among his adherents; Mrs。

Eddy has had the like among hers from the beginning。  Her Church

is as well equipped in those particulars as is any other Church。

Claimants can always count upon a following; it doesn't matter

who they are; nor what they claim; nor whether they come with

documents or without。  It was always so。  Down out of the long…

vanished past; across the abyss of the ages; if you listen; you

can still hear the believing multitudes shouting for Perkin

Warbeck and Lambert Simnel。



A friend has sent me a new book; from EnglandTHE

SHAKESPEARE PROBLEM RESTATEDwell restated and closely reasoned;

and my fifty years' interest in that matterasleep for the last

three yearsis excited once more。  It is an interest which was

born of Delia Bacon's bookaway back in the ancient day1857;

or maybe 1856。  About a year later my pilot…master; Bixby;

transferred me from his own steamboat to the PENNSYLVANIA; and

placed me under the orders and instructions of George Ealerdead

now; these many; many years。  I steered for him a good many

monthsas was the humble duty of the pilot…apprentice:  stood a

daylight watch and spun the wheel under the severe

superintendence and correction of the master。  He was a prime

chess…player and an idolater of Shakespeare。  He would play chess

with anybody; even with me; and it cost his official dignity

something to do that。  Alsoquite uninvitedhe would read

Shakespeare to me; not just casually; but by the hour; when it

was his watch and I was steering。  He read well; but not

profitably for me; because he constantly injected commands into

the text。  That broke it all up; mixed it all up; tangled it all

upto that degree; in fact; that if we were in a risky and

difficult piece of river an ignorant person couldn't have told;

sometimes; which observations were Shakespeare's and which were

Ealer's。  For instance:





What man dare; _I_ dare!



Approach thou WHAT are you laying in the leads for? what a

hell of an idea! like the rugged ease her off a little; ease her

off! rugged Russian bear; the armed rhinoceros or the THERE she

goes! meet her; meet her! didn't you KNOW she'd smell the reef if

you crowded in like that?  Hyrcan tiger; take any ship but that

and my firm nerves she'll be in the WOODS the first you know!

stop he starboard! come ahead strong on the larboard! back the

starboard! 。 。 。 NOW then; you're all right; come ahead on the

starboard; straighten up and go 'long; never tremble:  or be

alive again; and dare me to the desert DAMNATION can't you keep

away from that greasy water? pull her down! snatch her! snatch

her baldheaded! with thy sword; if trembling I inhabit then; lay

in the leads!no; only with the starboard one; leave the other

alone; protest me the baby of a girl。  Hence horrible shadow!

eight bellsthat watchman's asleep again; I reckon; go down and

call Brown yourself; unreal mockery; hence!





He certainly was a good reader; and splendidly thrilling and

stormy and tragic; but it was a damage to me; because I have

never since been able to read Shakespeare in a calm and sane way。

I cannot rid it of his explosive interlardings; they break in

everywhere with their irrelevant; 〃What in hell are you up to

NOW! pull her down! more! MORE!there now; steady as you go;〃

and the other disorganizing interruptions that were always

leaping from his mouth。  When I read Shakespeare now I can hear

them as plainly as I did in that long…departed timefifty…one

years ago。  I never regarded Ealer's readings as educational。

Indeed; they were a detriment to me。



His contributions to the text seldom improved it; but

barring that detail he was a good reader; I can say that much for

him。  He did not use the book; and did not need to; he knew his

Shakespeare as well as Euclid ever knew his multiplication table。



Did he have something to saythis Shakespeare…adoring

Mississippi pilotanent Delia Bacon's book?



Yes。  And he said it; said it all the time; for monthsin

the morning watch; the middle watch; and dog watch; and probably

kept it going in his sleep。  He bought the literature of the

dispute as fast as it appeared; and we discussed it all through

thirteen hundred miles of river four times traversed in every

thirty…five daysthe time required by that swift boat to achieve

two round trips。  We discussed; and discussed; and discussed; and

disputed and disputed and disputed; at any rate; HE did; and I

got in a word now and then when he slipped a cog and there was a

vacancy。  He did his arguing with heat; with energy; with

violence; and I did mine with the reverse and moderation of a

subordinate who does not like to be flung out of a pilot…house

and is perched forty feet above the water。  He was fiercely loyal

to Shakespeare and cordially scornful of Bacon and of all the

pretensions of the Baconians。  So was Iat first。  And at first

he was glad that that was my attitude。  There were even

indications that he admired it; indications dimmed; it is true;

by the distance that lay between the lofty boss…pilotical

altitude and my lowly one; yet perceptible to me; perceptible;

and translatable into a complimentcompliment coming down from

about the snow…line and not well thawed in the transit; and not

likely to set anything afire; not even a cub…pilot's self…

conceit; still a detectable complement; and precious。



Naturally it flattered me into being more loyal to Shakespeare

if possiblethan I was before; and more prejudiced against

Baconif possiblethat I was before。  And so we discussed

and discussed; both on the same side; and were happy。

For a while。  Only for a while。  Only for a very little while;

a very; very; very little while。  Then the atmosphere began

to change; began to cool off。



A brighter person would have seen what the trouble was;

earlier than I did; perhaps; but I saw it early enough for all

practical purposes。  You see; he was of an argumentative

disposition。  Therefore it took him but a little time to get

tired of arguing with a person who agreed with everything he said

and consequently never furnished him a provocative to flare up

and show what h

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