lavengro-第94章

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else　could　it　have　been　but　the　yew　…　the　sacred　yew　which　our　

ancestors　were　in　the　habit　of　planting　in　their　churchyards？　　

Moreover；　I　affirm　it　to　have　been　the　yew　for　the　honour　of　the　

tree；　for　I　love　the　yew；　and　had　I　home　and　land；　I　would　have　one　

growing　before　my　front　windows。'



'You　would　do　right；　the　yew　is　indeed　a　venerable　tree；　but　it　is　

not　about　the　yew。'



'The　star　Jupiter；　perhaps？'



'Nor　the　star　Jupiter；　nor　its　moons；　an　observation　which　escaped　

you　at　the　inn　has　made　a　considerable　impression　upon　me。'



'But　I　really　must　take　my　departure；'　said　I；　'the　dark　hour　is　at　

hand。'



And　as　I　uttered　these　latter　words　the　stranger　touched　rapidly　

something　which　lay　near　him　…　I　forget　what　it　was。　　It　was　the　

first　action　of　the　kind　which　I　had　observed　on　his　part　since　we　

sat　down　to　table。



'You　allude　to　the　evil　chance；'　said　I；　'but　it　is　getting　both　

dark　and　late。'



'I　believe　we　are　going　to　have　a　storm；'　said　my　friend；　'but　I　

really　hope　that　you　will　give　me　your　company　for　a　day　or　two；　I　

have；　as　I　said　before；　much　to　talk　to　you　about。'



'Well；'　said　I；　'I　shall　be　most　happy　to　be　your　guest　for　this　

night；　I　am　ignorant　of　the　country；　and　it　is　not　pleasant　to　

travel　unknown　paths　by　night　…　dear　me；　what　a　flash　of　

lightning。'



It　had　become　very　dark；　suddenly　a　blaze　of　sheet　lightning　

illumed　the　room。　　By　the　momentary　light　I　distinctly　saw　my　host　

touch　another　object　upon　the　table。



'Will　you　allow　me　to　ask　you　a　question　or　two？'　said　he　at　last。



'As　many　as　you　please；'　said　I；　'but　shall　we　not　have　lights？'



'Not　unless　you　particularly　wish　it；'　said　my　entertainer；　'I　

rather　like　the　dark；　and　though　a　storm　is　evidently　at　hand；　

neither　thunder　nor　lightning　has　any　terrors　for　me。　　It　is　other　

things　I　quake　at　…　I　should　rather　say　ideas。　　Now　permit　me　to　

ask　you　…　'



And　then　my　entertainer　asked　me　various　questions；　to　all　of　which　

I　answered　unreservedly；　he　was　then　silent　for　some　time；　at　last　

he　exclaimed；　'I　should　wish　to　tell　you　the　history　of　my　life　…　

though　not　an　adventurous　one；　I　think　it　contains　some　things　

which　will　interest　you。'



Without　waiting　for　my　reply　he　began。　　Amidst　darkness　and　gloom；　

occasionally　broken　by　flashes　of　lightning；　the　stranger　related　

to　me；　as　we　sat　at　table　in　the　library；　his　truly　touching　

history。



'Before　proceeding　to　relate　the　events　of　my　life；　it　will　not　be　

amiss　to　give　you　some　account　of　my　ancestors。　　My　great…

grandfather　on　the　male　side　was　a　silk　mercer；　in　Cheapside；　who；　

when　he　died；　left　his　son；　who　was　his　only　child；　a　fortune　of　

one　hundred　thousand　pounds　and　a　splendid　business；　the　son；　

however；　had　no　inclination　for　trade；　the　summit　of　his　ambition　

was　to　be　a　country　gentleman；　to　found　a　family；　and　to　pass　the　

remainder　of　his　days　in　rural　ease　and　dignity；　and　all　this　he　

managed　to　accomplish；　he　disposed　of　his　business；　purchased　a　

beautiful　and　extensive　estate　for　fourscore　thousand　pounds；　built　

upon　it　the　mansion　to　which　I　had　the　honour　of　welcoming　you　to…

day；　married　the　daughter　of　a　neighbouring　squire；　who　brought　him　

a　fortune　of　five　thousand　pounds；　became　a　magistrate；　and　only　

wanted　a　son　and　heir　to　make　him　completely　happy；　this　blessing；　

it　is　true；　was　for　a　long　time　denied　him；　it　came；　however；　at　

last；　as　is　usual；　when　least　expected。　　His　lady　was　brought　to　

bed　of　my　father；　and　then　who　so　happy　a　man　as　my　grandsire；　he　

gave　away　two　thousand　pounds　in　charities；　and　in　the　joy　of　his　

heart　made　a　speech　at　the　next　quarter　sessions；　the　rest　of　his　

life　was　spent　in　ease；　tranquillity；　and　rural　dignity；　he　died　of　

apoplexy　on　the　day　that　my　father　came　of　age；　perhaps　it　would　be　

difficult　to　mention　a　man　who　in　all　respects　was　so　fortunate　as　

my　grandfather：　　his　death　was　sudden　it　is　true；　but　I　am　not　one　

of　those　who　pray　to　be　delivered　from　a　sudden　death。



'I　should　not　call　my　father　a　fortunate　man；　it　is　true　that　he　

had　the　advantage　of　a　first…rate　education；　that　he　made　the　grand　

tour　with　a　private　tutor；　as　was　the　fashion　at　that　time；　that　he　

came　to　a　splendid　fortune　on　the　very　day　that　he　came　of　age；　

that　for　many　years　he　tasted　all　the　diversions　of　the　capital　

that；　at　last　determined　to　settle；　he　married　the　sister　of　a　

baronet；　an　amiable　and　accomplished　lady；　with　a　large　fortune；　

that　he　had　the　best　stud　of　hunters　in　the　county；　on　which；　

during　the　season；　he　followed　the　fox　gallantly；　had　he　been　a　

fortunate　man　he　would　never　have　cursed　his　fate；　as　he　was　

frequently　known　to　do；　ten　months　after　his　marriage　his　horse　

fell　upon　him；　and　so　injured　him；　that　he　expired　in　a　few　days　in　

great　agony。　　My　grandfather　was；　indeed；　a　fortunate　man；　when　he　

died　he　was　followed　to　the　grave　by　the　tears　of　the　poor　…　my　

father　was　not。



'Two　remarkable　circumstances　are　connected　with　my　birth　…　I　am　a　

posthumous　child；　and　came　into　the　world　some　weeks　before　the　

usual　time；　the　shock　which　my　mother　experienced　at　my　father's　

death　having　brought　on　the　pangs　of　premature　labour；　both　my　

mother's　life　and　my　own　were　at　first　despaired　of；　we　both；　

however；　survived　the　crisis。　　My　mother　loved　me　with　the　most　

passionate　fondness；　and　I　was　brought　up　in　this　house　under　her　

own　eye　…　I　was　never　sent　to　school。



'I　have　already　told　you　that　mine　is　not　a　tale　of　adventure；　my　

life　has　not　been　one　of　action；　but　of　wild　imaginings　and　strange　

sensations；　I　was　born　with　excessive　sensibility；　and　that　has　

been　my　bane。　　I　have　not　been　a　fortunate　man。



'No　one　is　fortunate　unless　he　is　happy；　and　it　is　impossible　for　a　

being　constructed　like　myself　to　be　happy　for　an　hour；　or　even　

enjoy　peace　and　tranquillity；　most　of　our　pleasures　and　pains　are　

the　effects　of　imagination；　and　wherever　the　sensibility　is　great；　

the　imagination　is　great　also。　　No　sooner　has　my　imagination　raised　

up　an　image　of　pleasure；　than　it　is　sure　to　conjure　up　one　of　

distress　and　gloom；　these　two　antagonist　ideas　instantly　commence　a　

struggle　in　my　mind；　and　the　gloomy　one　generally；　I　may　say　

invariably；　prevails。　　How　is　it　possible　that　I　should　be　a　happy　

man？



'It　has　invariably　been　so　with　me　from　the　earliest　period　that　I　

can　remember；　the　first　playthings　that　were　given　me　caused　me　for　

a　few　minutes　excessive　pleasure：　　they　were　pretty　and　glittering；　

presently；　however；　I　became　anxious　and　perplexed；　I　wished　to　

know　their　history；　how　they　were　made；　and　what　of　…　were　the　

materials　precious？　　I　was　not　satisfied　with　their　outward　

appearance。　　In　less　than　an　hour　I　had　broken　the　playthings　in　an　

attempt　to　discover　what　they　were　made　of。



'When　I　was　eight　years　of　age　my　uncle　the　baronet；　who　was　also　

my　godfather；　sent　me　a　pair　of　Norway　hawks；　with　directions　for　

managing　them；　he　was　a　great　fowler。　　Oh；　how　rejoiced　was　I　with　

the　present　which　had　been　made　me；　my　joy　lasted　for　at　least　five　

minutes；　I　would　let　them　breed；　I　would　have　a　house　of　hawks；　

yes；　that　I　would　…　but　…　and　here　came　the　unpleasant　idea　…　

suppose　they　were　to　flyaway；　how　very　annoying！　　Ah；　but；　said　

hope；　there's　little　fear　of　that；　feed　them　well　and　they　will　

never　fly　away；　or　if　they　do　they　will　come　back；　my　uncle　says　

so；　so　sunshine　triumphed　for　a　little　time。　　Then　the　strangest　of　

all　doubts　came　into　my　head；　I　doubted　the　legality　of　my　tenure　

of　these　hawks；　how　did　I　come　by　them？　why；　my　uncle　gave　them　to　

me；　but　how　did　they　come　into　his　possession？　what　right　had　he　to　

them？　after　all；　they　might　not　be　his　to　give。　　I　passed　a　

sleepless　night。　　The　next　morning　I　found　that　the　man　who　brought　

the　hawks　had　not　departed。　　〃How　came　my　uncle　by　these　hawk