lavengro-第3章

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in　the　early　stages　of　their　union。　　Yet　even　at　the　present　day；　

now　that　years　threescore　and　ten　have　passed　over　her　head；　

attended　with　sorrow　and　troubles　manifold；　poorly　chequered　with　

scanty　joys；　can　I　look　on　that　countenance　and　doubt　that　at　one　

time　beauty　decked　it　as　with　a　glorious　garment？　　Hail　to　thee；　my　

parent！　as　thou　sittest　there；　in　thy　widow's　weeds；　in　the　dusky　

parlour　in　the　house　overgrown　with　the　lustrous　ivy　of　the　sister　

isle；　the　solitary　house　at　the　end　of　the　retired　court　shaded　by　

lofty　poplars。　　Hail　to　thee；　dame　of　the　oval　face；　olive　

complexion；　and　Grecian　forehead；　by　thy　table　seated　with　the　

mighty　volume　of　the　good　Bishop　Hopkins　spread　out　before　thee；　

there　is　peace　in　thy　countenance；　my　mother；　it　is　not　worldly　

peace；　however；　not　the　deceitful　peace　which　lulls　to　bewitching　

slumbers；　and　from　which；　let　us　pray；　humbly　pray；　that　every　

sinner　may　be　roused　in　time　to　implore　mercy　not　in　vain！　　Thine　

is　the　peace　of　the　righteous；　my　mother；　of　those　to　whom　no　sin　

can　be　imputed；　the　score　of　whose　misdeeds　has　been　long　since　

washed　away　by　the　blood　of　atonement；　which　imputeth　righteousness　

to　those　who　trust　in　it。　　It　was　not　always　thus；　my　mother；　a　

time　was；　when　the　cares；　pomps；　and　vanities　of　this　world　

agitated　thee　too　much；　but　that　time　is　gone　by；　another　and　a　

better　has　succeeded；　there　is　peace　now　on　thy　countenance；　the　

true　peace；　peace　around　thee；　too；　in　thy　solitary　dwelling；　

sounds　of　peace；　the　cheerful　hum　of　the　kettle　and　the　purring　of　

the　immense　angola；　which　stares　up　at　thee　from　its　settle　with　

its　almost　human　eyes。



No　more　earthly　cares　and　affections　now；　my　mother！　　Yes；　one。　　

Why　dost　thou　suddenly　raise　thy　dark　and　still　brilliant　eye　from　

the　volume　with　a　somewhat　startled　glance？　　What　noise　is　that　in　

the　distant　street？　　Merely　the　noise　of　a　hoof；　a　sound　common　

enough：　　it　draws　nearer；　nearer；　and　now　it　stops　before　thy　gate。　　

Singular！　　And　now　there　is　a　pause；　a　long　pause。　　Ha！　thou　

hearest　something　…　a　footstep；　a　swift　but　heavy　footstep！　thou　

risest；　thou　tremblest；　there　is　a　hand　on　the　pin　of　the　outer　

door；　there　is　some　one　in　the　vestibule；　and　now　the　door　of　thy　

apartment　opens；　there　is　a　reflection　on　the　mirror　behind　thee；　a　

travelling　hat；　a　gray　head　and　sunburnt　face。　　My　dearest　Son！　…　

My　darling　Mother！



Yes；　mother；　thou　didst　recognise　in　the　distant　street　the　hoof…

tramp　of　the　wanderer's　horse。



I　was　not　the　only　child　of　my　parents；　I　had　a　brother　some　three　

years　older　than　myself。　　He　was　a　beautiful　child；　one　of　those　

occasionally　seen　in　England；　and　in　England　alone；　a　rosy；　angelic　

face；　blue　eyes；　and　light　chestnut　hair；　it　was　not　exactly　an　

Anglo…Saxon　countenance；　in　which；　by　the　bye；　there　is　generally　a　

cast　of　loutishness　and　stupidity；　it　partook；　to　a　certain　extent；　

of　the　Celtic　character；　particularly　in　the　fire　and　vivacity　

which　illumined　it；　his　face　was　the　mirror　of　his　mind；　perhaps　no　

disposition　more　amiable　was　ever　found　amongst　the　children　of　

Adam；　united；　however；　with　no　inconsiderable　portion　of　high　and　

dauntless　spirit。　　So　great　was　his　beauty　in　infancy；　that　people；　

especially　those　of　the　poorer　classes；　would　follow　the　nurse　who　

carried　him　about　in　order　to　look　at　and　bless　his　lovely　face。　　

At　the　age　of　three　months　an　attempt　was　made　to　snatch　him　from　

his　mother's　arms　in　the　streets　of　London；　at　the　moment　she　was　

about　to　enter　a　coach；　indeed；　his　appearance　seemed　to　operate　so　

powerfully　upon　every　person　who　beheld　him；　that　my　parents　were　

under　continual　apprehension　of　losing　him；　his　beauty；　however；　

was　perhaps　surpassed　by　the　quickness　of　his　parts。　　He　mastered　

his　letters　in　a　few　hours；　and　in　a　day　or　two　could　decipher　the　

names　of　people　on　the　doors　of　houses　and　over　the　shop…windows。



As　he　grew　up；　his　personal　appearance　became　less　prepossessing；　

his　quickness　and　cleverness；　however；　rather　increased；　and　I　may　

say　of　him；　that　with　respect　to　everything　which　he　took　in　hand　

he　did　it　better　and　more　speedily　than　any　other　person。　　Perhaps　

it　will　be　asked　here；　what　became　of　him？　　Alas！　alas！　his　was　an　

early　and　a　foreign　grave。　　As　I　have　said　before；　the　race　is　not　

always　for　the　swift；　nor　the　battle　for　the　strong。



And　now；　doubtless；　after　the　above　portrait　of　my　brother；　painted　

in　the　very　best　style　of　Rubens；　the　reader　will　conceive　himself　

justified　in　expecting　a　full…length　one　of　myself；　as　a　child；　for　

as　to　my　present　appearance；　I　suppose　he　will　be　tolerably　content　

with　that　flitting　glimpse　in　the　mirror。　　But　he　must　excuse　me；　I　

have　no　intention　of　drawing　a　portrait　of　myself　in　childhood；　

indeed　it　would　be　difficult；　for　at　that　time　I　never　looked　into　

mirrors。　　No　attempts；　however；　were　ever　made　to　steal　me　in　my　

infancy；　and　I　never　heard　that　my　parents　entertained　the　

slightest　apprehension　of　losing　me　by　the　hands　of　kidnappers；　

though　I　remember　perfectly　well　that　people　were　in　the　habit　of　

standing　still　to　look　at　me；　ay；　more　than　at　my　brother；　from　

which　premisses　the　reader　may　form　any　conclusion　with　respect　to　

my　appearance　which　seemeth　good　unto　him　and　reasonable。　　Should　

he；　being　a　good…natured　person；　and　always　inclined　to　adopt　the　

charitable　side　in　any　doubtful　point；　be　willing　to　suppose　that　

I；　too；　was　eminently　endowed　by　nature　with　personal　graces；　I　

tell　him　frankly　that　I　have　no　objection　whatever　to　his　

entertaining　that　idea；　moreover；　that　I　heartily　thank　him；　and　

shall　at　all　times　be　disposed；　under　similar　circumstances；　to　

exercise　the　same　species　of　charity　towards　himself。



With　respect　to　my　mind　and　its　qualities　I　shall　be　more　explicit；　

for；　were　I　to　maintain　much　reserve　on　this　point；　many　things　

which　appear　in　these　memoirs　would　be　highly　mysterious　to　the　

reader；　indeed　incomprehensible。　　Perhaps　no　two　individuals　were　

ever　more　unlike　in　mind　and　disposition　than　my　brother　and　

myself：　　as　light　is　opposed　to　darkness；　so　was　that　happy；　

brilliant；　cheerful　child　to　the　sad　and　melancholy　being　who　

sprang　from　the　same　stock　as　himself；　and　was　nurtured　by　the　same　

milk。



Once；　when　travelling　in　an　Alpine　country；　I　arrived　at　a　

considerable　elevation；　I　saw　in　the　distance；　far　below；　a　

beautiful　stream　hastening　to　the　ocean；　its　rapid　waters　here　

sparkling　in　the　sunshine；　and　there　tumbling　merrily　in　cascades。　　

On　its　banks　were　vineyards　and　cheerful　villages；　close　to　where　I　

stood；　in　a　granite　basin　with　steep　and　precipitous　sides；　

slumbered　a　deep；　dark　lagoon；　shaded　by　black　pines；　cypresses；　

and　yews。　　It　was　a　wild；　savage　spot；　strange　and　singular；　ravens　

hovered　above　the　pines；　filling　the　air　with　their　uncouth　notes；　

pies　chattered；　and　I　heard　the　cry　of　an　eagle　from　a　neighbouring　

peak；　there　lay　the　lake；　the　dark；　solitary；　and　almost　

inaccessible　lake；　gloomy　shadows　were　upon　it；　which；　strangely　

modified；　as　gusts　of　wind　agitated　the　surface；　occasionally　

assumed　the　shape　of　monsters。　　So　I　stood　on　the　Alpine　elevation；　

and　looked　now　on　the　gay　distant　river；　and　now　at　the　dark　

granite…encircled　lake　close　beside　me　in　the　lone　solitude；　and　I　

thought　of　my　brother　and　myself。　　I　am　no　moraliser；　but　the　gay　

and　rapid　river；　and　the　dark　and　silent　lake；　were；　of　a　verity；　

no　had　emblems　of　us　two。



So　far　from　being　quick　and　clever　like　my　brother；　and　able　to　

rival　the　literary　feat　which　I　have　recorded　of　him；　many　years　

elapsed　before　I　was　able　to　understand　the　nature　of　letters；　or　

to　connect　them。　　A　lover　of　nooks　and　retired　corners；　I　was　as　a　

child　in　the　habit　of　fleeing　from　society；　and　of　sitting　for　

hours　together　with　my　head　on　my　breast。　　What　I　was　thinking　

a