lavengro-第158章

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priest　said　he　believed　I　was　drunk；　to　which　I　answered　that　I　was　

neither　so　mad　nor　drunk　but　I　could　distinguish　how　the　wind　lay。　　

Whereupon　they　left　me；　and　in　a　little　time　I　was　told　by　the　

bluff…looking　Merry…andrews　I　was　at　liberty　to　depart。　　I　believe　

the　priest；　in　order　to　please　my　governor；　interceded　for　me　in　

high　quarters。



'But　one　good　resulted　from　this　affair；　there　was　no　presentation　

of　our　family　to　the　Holy　Father；　for　old　Mumbo　was　so　frightened　

by　my　outrageous　looks　that　he　was　laid　up　for　a　week；　as　I　was　

afterwards　informed。



'I　went　home；　and　had　scarcely　been　there　half　an　hour　when　I　was　

sent　for　by　the　governor；　who　again　referred　to　the　scene　in　

church；　said　that　he　could　not　tolerate　such　scandalous　behaviour；　

and　that　unless　I　promised　to　be　more　circumspect　in　future；　he　

should　be　compelled　to　discharge　me。　　I　said　that　if　he　was　

scandalised　at　my　behaviour　in　the　church；　I　was　more　scandalised　

at　all　I　saw　going　on　in　the　family；　which　was　governed　by　two　

rascally　priests；　who；　not　content　with　plundering　him；　appeared　

bent　on　hurrying　the　souls　of　us　all　to　destruction；　and　that　with　

respect　to　discharging　me；　he　could　do　so　that　moment；　as　I　wished　

to　go。　　I　believe　his　own　reason　told　him　that　I　was　right；　for　he　

made　no　direct　answer；　but；　after　looking　on　the　ground　for　some　

time；　he　told　me　to　leave　him。　　As　he　did　not　tell　me　to　leave　the　

house；　I　went　to　my　room；　intending　to　lie　down　for　an　hour　or　two；　

but　scarcely　was　I　there　when　the　door　opened；　and　in　came　the　red…

haired　priest。　　He　showed　himself；　as　he　always　did；　perfectly　

civil；　asked　me　how　I　was；　took　a　chair　and　sat　down。　　After　a　hem　

or　two　he　entered　into　a　long　conversation　on　the　excellence　of　

what　he　called　the　Catholic　religion；　told　me　that　he　hoped　I　would　

not　set　myself　against　the　light；　and　likewise　against　my　interest；　

for　that　the　family　were　about　to　embrace　the　Catholic　religion；　

and　would　make　it　worth　my　while　to　follow　their　example。　　I　told　

him　that　the　family　might　do　what　they　pleased；　but　that　I　would　

never　forsake　the　religion　of　my　country　for　any　consideration　

whatever；　that　I　was　nothing　but　a　poor　servant；　but　I　was　not　to　

be　bought　by　base　gold。　　〃I　admire　your　honourable　feelings；〃　said　

he；　〃you　shall　have　no　gold；　and　as　I　see　you　are　a　fellow　of　

spirit；　and　do　not　like　being　a　servant；　for　which　I　commend　you；　I　

can　promise　you　something　better。　　I　have　a　good　deal　of　influence　

in　this　place；　and　if　you　will　not　set　your　face　against　the　light；　

but　embrace　the　Catholic　religion；　I　will　undertake　to　make　your　

fortune。　　You　remember　those　fine　fellows　to…day　who　took　you　into　

custody；　they　are　the　guards　of　his　Holiness。　　I　have　no　doubt　that　

I　have　interest　enough　to　procure　your　enrolment　amongst　them。〃　　

〃What；〃　said　I；　〃become　swashbuckler　to　Mumbo　Jumbo　up　here！　　May　I　

。　。　。〃　…　and　here　I　swore　…　〃if　I　do。　　The　mere　possibility　of　one　

of　their　children　being　swashbuckler　to　Mumbo　Jumbo　on　the　high　

Barbary　shore　has　always　been　a　source　of　heart…breaking　to　my　poor　

parents。　　What；　then；　would　they　not　undergo；　if　they　knew　for　

certain　that　their　other　child　was　swashbuckler　to　Mumbo　Jumbo　up　

here？〃　　Thereupon　he　asked　me；　even　as　you　did　some　time　ago；　what　

I　meant　by　Mumbo　Jumbo。　　And　I　told　him　all　I　had　heard　about　the　

Mumbo　Jumbo　of　the　high　Barbary　shore；　telling　him　that　I　had　no　

doubt　that　the　old　fellow　up　here　was　his　brother；　or　nearly　

related　to　him。　　The　man　with　the　red　hair　listened　with　the　

greatest　attention　to　all　I　said；　and　when　I　had　concluded；　he　got　

up；　nodded　to　me；　and　moved　to　the　door；　ere　he　reached　the　door　I　

saw　his　shoulders　shaking；　and　as　he　closed　it　behind　him　I　heard　

him　distinctly　laughing；　to　the　tune　of　…　he！　he！　he！



'But　now　matters　began　to　mend。　　That　same　evening　my　young　master　

unexpectedly　arrived。　　I　believe　he　soon　perceived　that　something　

extraordinary　had　been　going　on　in　the　family。　　He　was　for　some　

time　closeted　with　the　governor；　with　whom；　I　believe；　he　had　a　

dispute；　for　my　fellow…servant；　the　lady's　maid；　informed　me　that　

she　heard　high　words。



'Rather　late　at　night　the　young　gentleman　sent　for　me　into　his　

room；　and　asked　me　various　questions　with　respect　to　what　had　been　

going　on；　and　my　behaviour　in　the　church；　of　which　he　had　heard　

something。　　I　told　him　all　I　knew　with　respect　to　the　intrigues　of　

the　two　priests　in　the　family；　and　gave　him　a　circumstantial　

account　of　all　that　had　occurred　in　the　church；　adding　that；　under　

similar　circumstances；　I　was　ready　to　play　the　same　part　over　

again。　　Instead　of　blaming　me；　he　commended　my　behaviour；　told　me　I　

was　a　fine　fellow；　and　said　he　hoped　that；　if　he　wanted　my　

assistance；　I　would　stand　by　him：　　this　I　promised　to　do。　　Before　I　

left　him；　he　entreated　me　to　inform　him　the　very　next　time　I　saw　

the　priests　entering　the　house。



'The　next　morning；　as　I　was　in　the　courtyard；　where　I　had　placed　

myself　to　watch；　I　saw　the　two　enter　and　make　their　way　up　a　

private　stair　to　the　young　ladies'　apartment；　they　were　attended　by　

a　man　dressed　something　like　a　priest；　who　bore　a　large　box；　I　

instantly　ran　to　relate　what　I　had　seen　to　my　young　master。　　I　

found　him　shaving。　　〃I　will　just　finish　what　I　am　about；〃　said　he；　

〃and　then　wait　upon　these　gentlemen。〃　　He　finished　what　he　was　

about　with　great　deliberation；　then　taking　a　horsewhip；　and　bidding　

me　follow　him；　he　proceeded　at　once　to　the　door　of　his　sisters'　

apartment：　　finding　it　fastened；　he　burst　it　open　at　once　with　his　

foot　and　entered；　followed　by　myself。　　There　we　beheld　the　two　

unfortunate　young　ladies　down　on　their　knees　before　a　large　female　

doll；　dressed　up；　as　usual；　in　rags　and　tinsel；　the　two　priests　

were　standing　near；　one　on　either　side；　with　their　hands　uplifted；　

whilst　the　fellow　who　brought　the　trumpery　stood　a　little　way　down　

the　private　stair；　the　door　of　which　stood　open；　without　a　moment's　

hesitation；　my　young　master　rushed　forward；　gave　the　image　a　cut　or　

two　with　his　horsewhip　…　then　flying　at　the　priests；　he　gave　them　a　

sound　flogging；　kicked　them　down　the　private　stair；　and　spurned　the　

man；　box　and　image　after　them　…　then　locking　the　door；　he　gave　his　

sisters　a　fine　sermon；　in　which　he　represented　to　them　their　folly　

in　worshipping　a　silly　wooden　graven　image；　which；　though　it　had　

eyes；　could　see　not；　though　it　had　ears；　could　hear　not；　though　it　

had　hands；　could　not　help　itself；　and　though　it　had　feet；　could　not　

move　about　unless　it　were　carried。　　Oh；　it　was　a　fine　sermon　that　

my　young　master　preached；　and　sorry　I　am　that　the　Father　of　the　

Fetish；　old　Mumbo；　did　not　hear　it。　　The　elder　sister　looked　

ashamed；　but　the　youngest；　who　was　very　weak；　did　nothing　but　wring　

her　hands；　weep　and　bewail　the　injury　which　had　been　done　to　the　

dear　image。　　The　young　man；　however；　without　paying　much　regard　to　

either　of　them；　went　to　his　father；　with　whom　he　had　a　long　

conversation；　which　terminated　in　the　old　governor　giving　orders　

for　preparations　to　be　made　for　the　family's　leaving　Rome　and　

returning　to　England。　　I　believe　that　the　old　governor　was　glad　of　

his　son's　arrival；　and　rejoiced　at　the　idea　of　getting　away　from　

Italy；　where　he　had　been　so　plundered　and　imposed　upon。　　The　

priests；　however；　made　another　attempt　upon　the　poor　young　ladies。　　

By　the　connivance　of　the　female　servant　who　was　in　their　interest　

they　found　their　way　once　more　into　their　apartment；　bringing　with　

them　the　fetish　image；　whose　body　they　partly　stripped；　exhibiting　

upon　it　certain　sanguine　marks　which　they　had　daubed　upon　it　with　

red　paint；　but　which　they　said　were　the　result　of　the　lashes　which　

it　had　received　from　the　horsewhip。　　The　youngest　girl　believed　all　

they　said；　and　kissed　and　embraced　the　dear　image；　but　the　eldest；　

whose　eyes　had　been　opened　by　her　brother；