cressy-第35章

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invincible　and　complacent　simplicity　stung　him　like　the　most

exquisite　irony。　　For　an　instant　he　was　almost　goaded　into　the　fury

of　declaring　that　he　had　broken　off　from　the　writer　of　the　letters

forever；　but　its　inconsistency　with　the　chivalrous　attitude　he　had

just　taken　occurred　to　him　in　time　to　prevent　him　from　becoming

doubly　absurd。　　His　rage　with　Seth　Davis　seemed　to　him　the　only

feeling　left　that　was　genuine　and　rational；　and　yet；　now　that　Uncle

Ben　had　gone；　even　that　had　a　spurious　ring。　　It　was　necessary　for

him　to　lash　himself　into　a　fury　over　the　hypothesis　that　the

letters　MIGHT　have　been　Cressy's；　and　desecrated　by　that　scoundrel's

touch。　　Perhaps　he　had　read　them　and　left　them　to　be　picked　up　by

others。　　He　looked　over　them　carefully　to　see　if　their　meaning

would；　to　the　ordinary　reader；　appear　obvious　and　compromising。

His　eye　fell　on　the　first　paragraph。



〃I　should　not　be　quite　fair　with　you；　Jack；　if　I　affected　to

disbelieve　in　your　faith　in　your　love　for　me　and　its　endurance；　but

I　should　be　still　more　unfair　if　I　didn't　tell　you　what　I　honestly

believe；　that　at　your　age　you　are　apt　to　deceive　yourself；　and；

without　knowing　it；　to　deceive　others。　　You　confess　you　have　not

yet　decided　upon　your　career；　and　you　are　always　looking　forward　so

hopefully；　dear　Jack；　for　a　change　in　the　future；　but　you　are

willing　to　believe　that　far　more　serious　things　than　that　will

suffer　no　change　in　the　mean　time。　　If　we　continued　as　we　were；　I；

who　am　older　than　you　and　have　more　experience；　might　learn　the

misery　of　seeing　you　change　towards　ME　as　I　have　changed　towards

another；　and　for　the　same　reason。　　If　I　were　sure　I　could　keep　pace

with　you　in　your　dreams　and　your　ambition；　if　I　were　sure　that　I

always　knew　WHAT　they　were；　we　might　still　be　happybut　I　am　not

sure；　and　I　dare　not　again　risk　my　happiness　on　an　uncertainty。　　In

coming　to　my　present　resolution　I　do　not　look　for　happiness；　but　at

least　I　know　I　shall　not　suffer　disappointment；　nor　involve　others

in　it。　　I　confess　I　am　growing　too　old　not　to　feel　the　value　to　a

womana　necessity　to　her　in　this　countryof　security　in　her

present　and　future　position。　　Another　can　give　me　that。　　And

although　you　may　call　this　a　selfish　view　of　our　relations；　I

believe　that　you　will　soonif　you　do　not；　even　as　you　read　this

nowfeel　the　justice　of　it；　and　thank　me　for　taking　it。〃



With　a　smile　of　scorn　he　tore　up　the　letter；　in　what　he　fondly

believed　was　the　bitterness　of　an　outraged　trustful　nature；

forgetting　that　for　many　weeks　he　had　scarcely　thought　of　its

writer；　and　that　he　himself　in　his　conduct　had　already　anticipated

its　truths。





CHAPTER　XII。





The　master　awoke　the　next　morning；　albeit　after　a　restless　night；

with　that　clarity　of　conscience　and　perception　which　it　is　to　be

feared　is　more　often　the　consequence　of　youth　and　a　perfect

circulation　than　of　any　moral　conviction　or　integrity。　　He　argued

with　himself　that　as　the　only　party　really　aggrieved　in　the

incident　of　the　previous　night；　the　right　of　remedy　remained　with

him　solely；　and　under　the　benign　influence　of　an　early　breakfast

and　the　fresh　morning　air　he　was　inclined　to　feel　less　sternly　even

towards　Seth　Davis。　　In　any　event；　he　must　first　carefully　weigh

the　evidence　against　him；　and　examine　the　scene　of　the　outrage

closely。　　For　this　purpose；　he　had　started　for　the　school…house

fully　an　hour　before　his　usual　time。　　He　was　even　light…hearted

enough　to　recognize　the　humorous　aspect　of　Uncle　Ben's　appeal　to

him；　and　his　own　ludicrously　paradoxical　attitude；　and　as　he　at

last　passed　from　the　dreary　flat　into　the　fringe　of　upland　pines；

he　was　smiling。　　Well　for　him；　perhaps；　that　he　was　no　more

affected　by　any　premonition　of　the　day　before　him　than　the　lately

awakened　birds　that　lightly　cut　the　still　sleeping　woods　around　him

in　their　long　flashing　sabre…curves　of　flight。　　A　yellow…throat；

destined　to　become　the　breakfast　of　a　lazy　hawk　still　swinging

above　the　river；　was　especially　moved　to　such　a　causeless　and

idiotic　roulade　of　mirth　that　the　master　listening　to　the　foolish

bird　was　fain　to　whistle　too。　　He　presently　stopped；　however；　with

a　slight　embarrassment。　　For　a　few　paces　before　him　Cressy　had

unexpectedly　appeared。



She　had　evidently　been　watching　for　him。　　But　not　with　her　usual

indolent　confidence。　　There　was　a　strained　look　of　the　muscles　of

her　mouth；　as　of　some　past　repression；　and　a　shaded　hollow　under

her　temples　beneath　the　blonde　rings　of　her　shorter　hair。　　Her

habitually　slow；　steady　eye　was　troubled；　and　she　cast　a　furtive

glance　around　her　before　she　searched　him　with　her　glance。　　Without

knowing　why；　yet　vaguely　fearing　that　he　did；　he　became　still　more

embarrassed；　and　in　the　very　egotism　of　awkwardness；　stammered

without　a　further　salutation：　〃A　disgraceful　thing　has　happened

last　night；　and　I'm　up　early　to　find　the　perpetrator。　　My　desk　was

broken　into；　and〃



〃I　know　it；〃　she　interrupted；　with　a　half…impatient；　half　uneasy

putting　away　of　the　subject　with　her　little　hand〃theredon't　go

all　over　it　again。　　Paw　and　Maw　have　been　at　me　about　it　all　night

ever　since　those　Harrisons　in　their　anxiousness　to　make　up　their

quarrel；　rushed　over　with　the　news。　　I'm　tired　of　it！〃



For　an　instant　he　was　staggered。　　How　much　had　she　learned！　　With

the　same　awkward　indirectness；　he　said　vaguely；　〃But　it　might　have

been　YOUR　letters；　you　know？〃



〃But　it　wasn't；〃　she　said；　simply。　　〃It　OUGHT　to　have　been。　　I　wish

it　had〃　　She　stopped；　and　again　regarded　him　with　a　strange

expression。　　〃Well；〃　she　said　slowly；　〃what　are　you　going　to　do？〃



〃To　find　out　the　scoundrel　who　has　done　this；〃　he　said　firmly；　〃and

punish　him　as　he　deserves。〃



The　almost　imperceptible　shrug　that　had　raised　her　shoulders　gave

way　as　she　regarded　him　with　a　look　of　wearied　compassion。



〃No；〃　she　said；　gravely；　〃you　cannot。　　They're　too　many　for　you。

You　must　go　away；　at　once。〃



〃Never；〃　he　said　indignantly。　　〃Even　if　it　were　not　a　cowardice。

It　would　be　morea　confession！〃



〃Not　more　than　they　already　know；〃　she　said　wearily。　　〃But；　I　tell

you；　you　MUST　go。　　I　have　sneaked　out　of　the　house　and　run　here　all

the　way　to　warn　you。　　If　youyou　care　for　me；　Jackyou　will　go。〃



〃I　should　be　a　traitor　to　you　if　I　did；〃　he　said　quickly。　　〃I　shall

stay。〃



〃But　ififJackif〃she　drew　nearer　him　with　a　new…found

timidity；　and　then　suddenly　placed　her　two　hands　upon　his

shoulders：　〃IfifJackI　were　to　go　with　you？〃



The　old　rapt；　eager　look　of　possession　had　come　back　to　her　face

now；　her　lips　were　softly　parted。　　Yet　even　then　she　seemed　to　be

waiting　some　reply　more　potent　than　that　syllabled　on　the　lips　of

the　man　before　her。



Howbeit　that　was　the　only　response。　　〃Darling；〃　he　said　kissing

her；　〃but　wouldn't　that　justify　them〃



〃Stop；〃　she　said　suddenly。　　Then　putting　her　hand　over　his　mouth；

she　continued　with　the　same　half…weary　expression：　〃Don't　let　us　go

over　all　that　again　either。　　It　is　SO　tiresome。　　Listen；　dear。

You'll　do　one　or　two　little　things　for　mewon't　you；　dandy　boy？

Don't　linger　long　at　the　school…house　after　lessons。　　Go　right

home！　　Don't　look　after　these　men　TO…DAYto…morrow；　Saturday；　is

your　holidayyou　knowand　you'll　have　more　time。　　Keep　to

yourself　to…day　as　much　as　you　can；　dear；　for　twelve　hoursuntil

untilyou　hear　from　me；　you　know。　　It　will　be　all　right　then；〃　she

added；　lifting　her　eyelids　with　a　sudden　odd　resemblance　to　her

father's　look　of　drowsy　pain；　which　Ford　had　never　noticed　before。

〃Promise　me　that；　dear；　won't　you？〃



With　a　mental　reservation　he　promised　hurriedlypreoccupied　in　his

wonder　why　she　seemed　to　avoid　his　explanation；　in　his　desire　to

know　what　had　happened；　in　the　pride　that　had　kept　him　from　asking

more　or　volunteering　a　defence；　and　in　his　still　haunting　sense　of

having　been　wronged。　　Yet　he　could　not　help　saying　as　he　caught　and

held　her　hand：



〃YOU　have　n