little novels-第63章

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forgetting　my　own　youth。

As　the　evening　closed　in；　I　was　sorry　to　notice　a　certain　change　in　our　guest　for　the　worse。　He　showed　signs　of　fatiguefalling　asleep　at　intervals　in　his　chair；　and　waking　up　and　shivering。　The　spare　room　was　now　well　aired；　having　had　a　roaring　fire　in　it　all　day。

I　begged　him　not　to　stand　on　ceremony；　and　to　betake　himself　at　once　to　his　bed。　Felicia　（having　learned　the　accomplishment　from　her　excellent　mother）　made　him　a　warm　sleeping…draught　of　eggs；　sugar；　nutmeg；　and　spirits；　delicious　alike　to　the　senses　of　smell　and　taste。　Sister　Judith　waited　until　he　had　closed　the　door　behind　him；　and　then　favored　me　with　one　of　her　dismal　predictions。　〃You'll　rue　the　day；　brother；　when　you　let　him　into　the　house。　He　is　going　to　fall　ill　on　our　hands。〃

II。

November　28th。God　be　praised　for　all　His　mercies！　This　day；　our　guest；　Marmaduke　Falmer；　joined　us　downstairs　in　the　sitting…room　for　the　first　time　since　his　illness。

He　is　sadly　deteriorated；　in　a　bodily　sense；　by　the　wasting　rheumatic　fever　that　brought　him　nigh　to　death；　but　he　is　still　young；　and　the　doctor　（humanly　speaking）　has　no　doubt　of　his　speedy　and　complete　recovery。　My　sister　takes　the　opposite　view。　She　remarked；　in　his　hearing；　that　nobody　ever　thoroughly　got　over　a　rheumatic　fever。　Oh；　Judith！　Judith！　it's　well　for　humanity　that　you're　a　single　person！　If　haply；　there　had　been　any　man　desperate　enough　to　tackle　such　a　woman　in　the　bonds　of　marriage；　what　a　pessimist　progeny　must　have　proceeded　from　you！

Looking　back　over　my　Diary　for　the　last　two　months　and　more；　I　see　one　monotonous　record　of　the　poor　fellow's　sufferings；　cheered　and　varied；　I　am　pleased　to　add；　by　the　devoted　services　of　my　daughter　at　the　sick　man's　bedside。　With　some　help　from　her　aunt　（most　readily　given　when　he　was　nearest　to　the　point　of　death）；　and　with　needful　services　performed　in　turn　by　two　of　our　aged　women　in　Cauldkirk；　Felicia　could　not　have　nursed　him　more　assiduously　if　he　had　been　her　own　brother。　Half　the　credit　of　bringing　him　through　it　belonged　（as　the　doctor　himself　confessed）　to　the　discreet　young　nurse；　always　ready　through　the　worst　of　the　illness；　and　always　cheerful　through　the　long　convalescence　that　followed。　I　must　also　record　to　the　credit　of　Marmaduke　that　he　was　indeed　duly　grateful。　When　I　led　him　into　the　parlor；　and　he　saw　Felicia　waiting　by　the　armchair；　smiling　and　patting　the　pillows　for　him；　he　took　her　by　the　hand；　and　burst　out　crying。　Weakness；　in　part；　no　doubtbut　sincere　gratitude　at　the　bottom　of　it；　I　am　equally　sure。



November　29th。However；　there　are　limits　even　to　sincere　gratitude。　Of　this　truth　Mr。　Marmaduke　seems　to　be　insufficiently　aware。　Entering　the　sitting…room　soon　after　noon　today；　I　found　our　convalescen　t　guest　and　his　nurse　alone。　His　head　was　resting　on　her　shoulder；　his　arm　was　round　her　waistand　（the　truth　before　everything）　Felicia　was　kissing　him。

A　man　may　be　of　a　liberal　turn　of　mind；　and　may　yet　consistently　object　to　freedom　when　it　takes　the　form　of　unlicensed　embracing　and　kissing；　the　person　being　his　own　daughter；　and　the　place　his　own　house。　I　signed　to　my　girl　to　leave　us；　and　I　advanced　to　Mr。　Marmaduke；　with　my　opinion　of　his　conduct　just　rising　in　words　to　my　lipswhen　he　staggered　me　with　amazement　by　asking　for　Felicia's　hand　in　marriage。

〃You　need　feel　no　doubt　of　my　being　able　to　offer　to　your　daughter　a　position　of　comfort　and　respectability；〃　he　said。　〃I　have　a　settled　income　of　eight　hundred　pounds　a　year。〃

His　raptures　over　Felicia；　his　protestations　that　she　was　the　first　woman　he　had　ever　really　loved；　his　profane　declaration　that　he　preferred　to　die；　if　I　refused　to　let　him　be　her　husbandall　these　flourishes；　as　I　may　call　them；　passed　in　at　one　of　my　ears　and　out　at　the　other。　But　eight　hundred　pounds　sterling　per　annum；　descending　as　it　were　in　a　golden　avalanche　on　the　mind　of　a　Scottish　minister　（accustomed　to　thirty　years'　annual　contemplation　of　seventy…four　pounds）eight　hundred　a　year；　in　one　young　man's　pocket；　I　say；　completely　overpowered　me。　I　just　managed　to　answer；　〃Wait　till　tomorrow〃　and　hurried　out　of　doors　to　recover　my　self…respect；　if　the　thing　was　to　be　anywise　done。　I　took　my　way　through　the　valley。　The　sun　was　shining；　for　a　wonder。　When　I　saw　my　shadow　on　the　hillside；　I　saw　the　Golden　Calf　as　an　integral　part　of　me；　bearing　this　inscription　in　letters　of　flame〃Here's　another　of　them！〃



_November　30th。_I　have　made　amends　for　yesterday's　backsliding；　I　have　acted　as　becomes　my　parental　dignity　and　my　sacred　calling。

The　temptation　to　do　otherwise；　has　not　been　wanting。　Here　is　sister　Judith's　advice：　〃Make　sure　that　he　has　got　the　money　first；　and；　for　Heaven's　sake；　nail　him！〃　Here　is　Mr。　Marmaduke's　proposal：　〃Make　any　conditions　you　please；　so　long　as　you　give　me　your　daughter。〃　And；　lastly；　here　is　Felicia's　confession：　〃Father；　my　heart　is　set　on　him。　Oh；　don't　be　unkind　to　me　for　the　first　time　in　your　life！〃

But　I　have　stood　firm。　I　have　refused　to　hear　any　more　words　on　the　subject　from　any　one　of　them；　for　the　next　six　months　to　come。

〃So　serious　a　venture　as　the　venture　of　marriage；〃　I　said；　〃is　not　to　be　undertaken　on　impulse。　As　soon　as　Mr。　Marmaduke　can　travel；　I　request　him　to　leave　us；　and　not　to　return　again　for　six　months。　If；　after　that　interval；　he　is　still　of　the　same　mind；　and　my　daughter　is　still　of　the　same　mind；　let　him　return　to　Cauldkirk；　and　（premising　that　I　am　in　all　other　respects　satisfied）　let　him　ask　me　for　his　wife。〃

There　were　tears；　there　were　protestations；　I　remained　immovable。　A　week　later；　Mr。　Marmaduke　left　us；　on　his　way　by　easy　stages　to　the　south。　I　am　not　a　hard　man。　I　rewarded　the　lovers　for　their　obedience　by　keeping　sister　Judith　out　of　the　way；　and　letting　them　say　their　farewell　words　（accompaniments　included）　in　private。

III。

May　28th。A　letter　from　Mr。　Marmaduke；　informing　me　that　I　may　expect　him　at　Cauldkirk；　exactly　at　the　expiration　of　the　six　months'　intervalviz。；　on　June　the　seventh。

Writing　to　this　effect；　he　added　a　timely　word　on　the　subject　of　his　family。　Both　his　parents　were　dead；　his　only　brother　held　a　civil　appointment　in　India；　the　place　being　named。　His　uncle　（his　father's　brother）　was　a　merchant　resident　in　London；　and　to　this　near　relative　he　referred　me；　if　I　wished　to　make　inquiries　about　him。　The　names　of　his　bankers；　authorized　to　give　me　every　information　in　respect　to　his　pecuniary　affairs；　followed。　Nothing　could　be　more　plain　and　straightforward。　I　wrote　to　his　uncle；　and　I　wrote　to　his　bankers。　In　both　cases　the　replies　were　perfectly　satisfactorynothing　in　the　slightest　degree　doubtful；　no　prevarications；　no　mysteries。　In　a　word；　Mr。　Marmaduke　himself　was　thoroughly　well　vouched　for；　and　Mr。　Marmaduke's　income　was　invested　in　securities　beyond　fear　and　beyond　reproach。　Even　sister　Judith；　bent　on　picking　a　hole　in　the　record　somewhere；　tried　hard；　and　could　make　nothing　of　it。

The　last　sentence　in　Mr。　Marmaduke's　letter　was　the　only　part　of　it　which　I　failed　to　read　with　pleasure。

He　left　it　to　me　to　fix　the　day　for　the　marriage；　and　he　entreated　that　I　would　make　it　as　early　a　day　as　possible。　I　had　a　touch　of　the　heartache　when　I　thought　of　parting　with　Felicia；　and　being　left　at　home　with　nobody　but　Judith。　However；　I　got　over　it　for　that　time；　and；　after　consulting　my　daughter；　we　decided　on　naming　a　fortnight　after　Mr。　Marmaduke's　arrivalthat　is　to　say；　the　twenty…first　of　June。　This　gave　Felicia　time　for　her　preparations；　besides　offering　to　me　the　opportunity　of　becoming　better　acquainted　with　my　son…in…law's　disposition。　The　happiest　marriage　does　indubitably　make　its　demands　on　human　forbearance；　and　I　was　anxious；　among　other　things；　to　assure　myself　of　Mr。　Marmaduke's　good　temper。

IV。

June　22d。The　happy　change　in　my　daughter's　life　（let　me　say　nothing　of　the　change　in　_my_　life）　has　come：　they　were　married　yesterday。　The　manse　is　a　desert；　and　sister　Judith　was　never　so　uncongenial　a　companion　to　me　as　I　feel　her　to　be　now。　Her　last　words　to　the　married　pair；　when　they　drove　away；　were：　〃Lord　help　you　both；　you　have　all　your　troubles　before　you！〃

I　had　no　heart　to　write　yesterday's　record；　yesterday　evening