little novels-第43章

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r　heart　and　soul；　for　the　first　time　in　her　life？　I　only　tell　the　truth　（in　however　unfavorable　a　light　it　may　place　me）　when　I　declare　that　my　confusion　was　entirely　due　to　the　discovery　that　I　was　in　love。　I　was　not　ashamed　of　myself　for　being　in　love　with　the　groom。　I　had　given　my　heart　to　the　man。　What　did　the　accident　of　his　position　matter？　Put　money　into　his　pocket　and　a　title　before　his　nameby　another　accident：　in　speech；　manners；　and　attainments；　he　would　he　a　gentleman　worthy　of　his　wealth　and　worthy　of　his　rank。

Even　the　natural　dread　of　what　my　relations　and　friends　might　say；　if　they　discovered　my　secret；　seemed　to　be　a　sensation　so　unworthy　of　me　and　of　him；　that　I　looked　round；　and　called　to　him　to　speak　to　me；　and　asked　him　questions　about　himself　which　kept　him　riding　nearly　side　by　side　with　me。　Ah；　how　I　enjoyed　the　gentle　deference　and　respect　of　his　manner　as　he　answered　me！　He　was　hardly　bold　enough　to　raise　his　eyes　to　mine；　when　I　looked　at　him。　Absorbed　in　the　Paradise　of　my　own　making；　I　rode　on　slowly；　and　was　only　aware　that　friends　had　passed　and　had　recognized　me；　by　seeing　him　touch　his　hat。　I　looked　round　and　discovered　the　women　smiling　ironically　as　they　rode　by。　That　one　circumstance　roused　me　rudely　from　my　dream。　I　let　Michael　fall　back　again　to　his　proper　place；　and　quickened　my　horse's　pace；　angry　with　myself；　angry　with　the　world　in　general；　then　suddenly　changing；　and　being　fool　enough　and　child　enough　to　feel　ready　to　cry。　How　long　these　varying　moods　lasted；　I　don't　know。　On　returning；　I　slipped　off　my　horse　without　waiting　for　Michael　to　help　me；　and　ran　into　the　house　without　even　wishing　him　〃Good…day。〃

VIII。

AFTER　taking　off　my　riding…habit；　and　cooling　my　hot　face　with　eaude…cologne　and　water；　I　went　down　to　the　room　which　we　called　the　morning…room。　The　piano　there　was　my　favorite　instrument　and　I　had　the　idea　of　trying　what　music　would　　do　toward　helping　me　to　compo　se　myself。

As　I　sat　down　before　the　piano；　I　heard　the　opening　of　the　door　of　the　breakfast…room　（separated　from　me　by　a　curtained　archway）；　and　the　voice　of　Lady　Claudia　asking　if　Michael　had　returned　to　the　stable。　On　the　servant's　reply　in　the　affirmative；　she　desired　that　he　might　be　sent　to　her　immediately。

No　doubt；　I　ought　either　to　have　left　the　morning…room；　or　to　have　let　my　aunt　know　of　my　presence　there。　I　did　neither　the　one　nor　the　other。　Her　first　dislike　of　Michael　had；　to　all　appearance；　subsided。　She　had　once　or　twice　actually　taken　opportunities　of　speaking　to　him　kindly。　I　believed　this　was　due　to　the　caprice　of　the　moment。　The　tone　of　her　voice　too　suggested；　on　this　occasion；　that　she　had　some　spiteful　object　in　view；　in　sending　for　him。　I　knew　it　was　unworthy　of　meand　yet；　I　deliberately　waited　to　hear　what　passed　between　them。

Lady　Claudia　began。

〃You　were　out　riding　to…day　with　Miss　Mina？〃

〃Yes；　my　lady。〃

〃Turn　to　the　light。　I　wish　to　see　people　when　I　speak　to　them。　You　were　observed　by　some　friends　of　mine；　your　conduct　excited　remark。　Do　you　know　your　business　as　a　lady's　groom？〃

〃I　have　had　seven　years'　experience；　my　lady。〃

〃Your　business　is　to　ride　at　a　certain　distance　behind　your　mistress。　Has　your　experience　taught　you　that？〃

〃Yes；　my　lady。〃

〃You　were　not　riding　behind　Miss　Minayour　horse　was　almost　side　by　side　with　hers。　Do　you　deny　it？〃

〃No；　my　lady。〃

〃You　behaved　with　the　greatest　improprietyyou　were　seen　talking　to　Miss　Mina。　Do　you　deny　that？〃

〃No；　my　lady。〃

〃Leave　the　room。　No！　come　back。　Have　you　any　excuse　to　make？〃

〃None；　my　lady。〃

〃Your　insolence　is　intolerable！　I　shall　speak　to　the　General。〃

The　sound　of　the　closing　door　followed。

I　knew　now　what　the　smiles　meant　on　the　false　faces　of　those　women…friends　of　mine　who　had　met　me　in　the　park。　An　ordinary　man；　in　Michael's　place；　would　have　mentioned　my　own　encouragement　of　him　as　a　sufficient　excuse。　_He_；　with　the　inbred　delicacy　and　reticence　of　a　gentleman；　had　taken　all　the　blame　on　himself。　Indignant　and　ashamed；　I　advanced　to　the　breakfast…room；　bent　on　instantly　justifying　him。　Drawing　aside　the　curtain；　I　was　startled　by　a　sound　as　of　a　person　sobbing。　I　cautiously　looked　in。　Lady　Claudia　was　prostrate　on　the　sofa；　hiding　her　face　in　her　hands；　in　a　passion　of　tears。

I　withdrew；　completely　bewildered。　The　extraordinary　contradictions　in　my　aunt's　conduct　were　not　at　an　end　yet。　Later　in　the　day；　I　went　to　my　uncle；　resolved　to　set　Michael　right　in　_his_　estimation；　and　to　leave　him　to　speak　to　Lady　Claudia。　The　General　was　in　the　lowest　spirits；　he　shook　his　head　ominously　the　moment。　I　mentioned　the　groom's　name。　〃I　dare　say　the　man　meant　no　harmbut　the　thing　has　been　observed。　I　can't　have　you　made　the　subject　of　scandal；　Mina。　My　wife　makes　a　point　of　itMichael　must　go。

〃You　don't　mean　to　say　that　she　has　insisted　on　your　sending　Michael　away？〃

Before　he　could　answer　me；　a　footman　appeared　with　a　message。　〃My　lady　wishes　to　see　you；　sir。〃

The　General　rose　directly。　My　curiosity　had　got；　by　this　time；　beyond　all　restraint。　I　was　actually　indelicate　enough　to　ask　if　I　might　go　with　him！　He　stared　at　me；　as　well　he　might。　I　persisted；　I　said　I　particularly　wished　to　see　Lady　Claudia。　My　uncle's　punctilious　good　breeding　still　resisted　me。　〃Your　aunt　may　wish　to　speak　to　me　in　private；〃　he　said。　〃Wait　a　moment；　and　I　will　send　for　you。〃

I　was　incapable　of　waiting：　my　obstinacy　was　something　superhuman。　The　bare　idea　that　Michael　might　lose　his　place；　through　my　fault；　made　me　desperate；　I　suppose。　〃I　won't　trouble　you　to　send　for　me；〃　I　persisted；　〃I　will　go　with　you　at　once　as　far　as　the　door；　and　wait　to　hear　if　I　may　come　in。〃　The　footman　was　still　present；　holding　the　door　open；　the　General　gave　way。　I　kept　so　close　behind　him　that　my　aunt　saw　me　as　her　husband　entered　the　room。　〃Come　in；　Mina；〃　she　said；　speaking　and　looking　like　the　charming　Lady　Claudia　of　everyday　life。　Was　this　the　woman　whom　I　had　seen　crying　her　heart　out　on　the　sofa　hardly　an　hour　ago？

〃On　second　thoughts；〃　she　continued；　turning　to　the　General；　〃I　fear　I　may　have　been　a　little　hasty。　Pardon　me　for　troubling　you　about　it　againhave　you　spoken　to　Michael　yet？　No？　Then　let　us　err　on　the　side　of　kindness；　let　us　look　over　his　misconduct　this　time。〃

My　uncle　was　evidently　relieved。　I　seized　the　opportunity　of　making　my　confession；　and　taking　the　whole　blame　on　myself。　Lady　Claudia　stopped　me　with　the　perfect　grace　of　which　she　was　mistress。

〃My　good　child；　don't　distress　yourself！　don't　make　mountains　out　of　molehills！〃　She　patted　me　on　the　cheek　with　two　plump　white　fingers　which　felt　deadly　cold。　〃I　was　not　always　prudent；　Mina；　when　I　was　your　age。　Besides；　your　curiosity　is　naturally　excited　about　a　servant　who　iswhat　shall　I　call　him？a　foundling。〃

She　paused　and　fixed　her　eyes　on　me　attentively。　〃What　did　he　tell　you？〃　she　asked。　〃Is　it　a　very　romantic　story？〃

The　General　began　to　fidget　in　his　chair。　If　I　had　kept　my　attention　on　him；　I　should　have　seen　in　his　face　a　warning　to　me　to　be　silent。　But　my　interest　at　the　moment　was　absorbed　in　my　aunt。　Encouraged　by　her　amiable　reception；　I　was　not　merely　unsuspicious　of　the　trap　that　she　had　set　for　meI　was　actually　foolish　enough　to　think　that　I　could　improve　Michael's　position　in　her　estimation　（remember　that　I　was　in　love　with　him！）　by　telling　his　story　exactly　as　I　have　already　told　it　in　these　pages。　I　spoke　with　fervor。　Will　you　believe　it？her　humor　positively　changed　again！　She　flew　into　a　passion　with　me　for　the　first　time　in　her　life。

〃Lies！〃　she　cried。　〃Impudent　lies　on　the　face　of　theminvented　to　appeal　to　your　interest。　How　dare　you　repeat　them？　General！　if　Mina　had　not　brought　it　on　herself；　this　man's　audacity　would　justify　you　in　instantly　dismissing　him。　Don't　you　agree　with　me？〃

The　General's　sense　of　fair　play　roused　him　for　once　into　openly　opposing　his　wife。

〃You　are　completely　mistaken；〃　he　said。　〃Mina　and　I　have　both　had　the　shawl　and　the　letter　in　our　handsand　（what　was　there　besides？）　ah；　yes；　the　very　linen　the　child　was　wrapped　in。〃

What　there　was　in　those　words　to　check　Lady　Claudia's　anger　in　its　full　flow　I　was　quite　unable　to　understand。　If　her　husband　had　put　a　pis