little novels-第40章

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y；　I　had　found　no　one　who　could　hold　this　position　toward　me。　In　the　midst　of　society　I　was；　unconsciously；　a　lonely　woman。

As　I　remember　them；　my　hours　of　happiness　were　the　hours　when　I　took　refuge　in　my　music　and　my　books。　Out　of　the　house；　my　one　diversion；　always　welcome　and　always　fresh；　was　riding。　Without；　any　false　modesty；　I　may　mention　that　I　had　lovers　as　well　as　admirers；　but　not　one　of　them　produced　an　impression　on　my　heart。　In　all　that　related　to　the　tender　passion；　as　it　is　called；　I　was　an　undeveloped　being。　The　influence　that　men　have　on　women；　_because_　they　are　men；　was　really　and　truly　a　mystery　to　me。　I　was　ashamed　of　my　own　coldnessI　tried；　honestly　tried；　to　copy　other　girls；　to　feel　my　heart　beating　in　the　presence　of　the　one　chosen　man。　It　was　not　to　be　done。　When　a　man　pressed　my　hand；　I　felt　it　in　my　rings；　instead　of　my　heart。

These　confessions　made；　I　have　done　with　the　past；　and　may　now　relate　the　events　which　my　enemies；　among　the　ladies；　have　described　as　presenting　a　shocking　story。

III。

WE　were　in　London　for　the　season。　One　morning；　I　went　out　riding　with　my　uncle；　as　usual；　in　Hyde　Park。

The　General's　service　in　the　army　had　been　in　a　cavalry　regiment　service　distinguished　by　merits　which　justified　his　rapid　rise　to　the　high　places　in　his　profession。　In　the　hunting…field；　he　was　noted　as　one　of　the　most　daring　and　most　accomplished　riders　in　our　county。　He　had　always　delighted　in　riding　young　and　high…spirited　horses；　and　the　habit　remained　with　him　after　he　had　quitted　the　active　duties　of　his　profession　in　later　life。　From　first　to　last　he　had　met　with　no　accident　worth　remembering；　until　the　unlucky　morning　when　he　went　out　with　me。

His　horse；　a　fiery　chestnut；　ran　away　with　him；　in　that　part　of　the　Park…ride　call　ed　Rotten　Row。　With　the　purpose　of　keeping　clear　of　other　riders；　he　spurred　his　runaway　horse　at　the　rail　which　divides　the　Row　from　the　grassy　inclosure　at　its　side。　The　terrified　animal　swerved　in　taking　the　leap；　and　dashed　him　against　a　tree。　He　was　dreadfully　shaken　and　injured；　but　his　strong　constitution　carried　him　through　to　recoverywith　the　serious　drawback　of　an　incurable　lameness　in　one　leg。

The　doctors；　on　taking　leave　of　their　patient；　united　in　warning　him　（at　his　age；　and　bearing　in　mind　his　weakened　leg）　to　ride　no　more　restive　horses。　〃A　quiet　cob；　General；〃　they　all　suggested。　My　uncle　was　sorely　mortified　and　offended。　〃If　I　am　fit　for　nothing　but　a　quiet　cob；〃　he　said；　bitterly；　〃I　will　ride　no　more。〃　He　kept　his　word。　No　one　ever　saw　the　General　on　horseback　again。

Under　these　sad　circumstances　（and　my　aunt　being　no　horsewoman）；　I　had　apparently　no　other　choice　than　to　give　up　riding　also。　But　my　kind…hearted　uncle　was　not　the　man　to　let　me　be　sacrificed　to　his　own　disappointment。　His　riding…groom　had　been　one　of　his　soldier…servants　in　the　cavalry　regimenta　quaint　sour　tempered　old　man；　not　at　all　the　sort　of　person　to　attend　on　a　young　lady　taking　her　riding…exercise　alone。　〃We　must　find　a　smart　fellow　who　can　be　trusted；〃　said　the　General。　〃I　shall　inquire　at　the　club。〃

For　a　week　afterward；　a　succession　of　grooms；　recommended　by　friends；　applied　for　the　vacant　place。

The　General　found　insurmountable　objections　to　all　of　them。　〃I'll　tell　you　what　I　have　done；〃　he　announced　one　day；　with　the　air　of　a　man　who　had　hit　on　a　grand　discovery；　〃I　have　advertised　in　the　papers。〃

Lady　Claudia　looked　up　from　her　embroidery　with　the　placid　smile　that　was　peculiar　to　her。　〃I　don't　quite　like　advertising　for　a　servant；？she　said。　〃You　are　at　the　mercy　of　a　stranger；　you　don't　know　that　you　are　not　engaging　a　drunkard　or　a　thief。〃

〃Or　you　may　be　deceived　by　a　false　character；〃　I　added　on　my　side。　I　seldom　ventured；　at　domestic　consultations；　on　giving　my　opinion　unaskedbut　the　new　groom　represented　a　subject　in　which　I　felt　a　strong　personal　interest。　In　a　certain　sense；　he　was　to　be　_my_　groom。

〃I'm　much　obliged　to　you　both　for　warning　me　that　I　am　so　easy　to　deceive；〃　the　General　remarked　satirically。　〃Unfortunately；　the　mischief　is　done。　Three　men　have　answered　my　advertisement　already。　I　expect　them　here　tomorrow　to　be　examined　for　the　place。〃

Lady　Claudia　looked　up　from　her　embroidery　again。　〃Are　you　going　to　see　them　yourself？〃　she　asked　softly。　〃I　thought　the　steward〃

〃I　have　hitherto　considered　myself　a　better　judge　of　a　groom　than　my　steward；〃　the　General　interposed。　〃However；　don't　be　alarmed；　I　won't　act　on　my　own　sole　responsibility；　after　the　hint　you　have　given　me。　You　and　Mina　shall　lend　me　your　valuable　assistance；　and　discover　whether　they　are　thieves；　drunkards；　and　what　not；　before　I　feel　the　smallest　suspicion　of　it；　myself。〃

IV。

WE　naturally　supposed　that　the　General　was　joking。　No。　This　was　one　of　those　rare　occasions　on　which　Lady　Claudia's　tactinfallible　in　matters　of　importanceproved　to　be　at　fault　in　a　trifle。　My　uncle's　self…esteem　had　been　touched　in　a　tender　place；　and　he　had　resolved　to　make　us　feel　it。　The　next　morning　a　polite　message　came；　requesting　our　presence　in　the　library；　to　see　the　grooms。　My　aunt　（always　ready　with　her　smile；　but　rarely　tempted　into　laughing　outright）　did　for　once　laugh　heartily。　〃It　is　really　too　ridiculous！〃　she　said。　However；　she　pursued　her　policy　of　always　yielding；　in　the　first　instance。　We　went　together　to　the　library

The　three　grooms　were　received　in　the　order　in　which　they　presented　themselves　for　approval。　Two　of　them　bore　the　ineffaceable　mark　of　the　public…house　so　plainly　written　on　their　villainous　faces；　that　even　I　could　see　it。　My　uncle　ironically　asked　us　to　favor　him　with　our　opinions。　Lady　Claudia　answered　with　her　sweetest　smile：　〃Pardon　me；　Generalwe　are　here　to　learn。〃　The　words　were　nothing；　but　the　manner　in　which　they　were　spoken　was　perfect。　Few　men　could　have　resisted　that　gentle　influenceand　the　General　was　not　one　of　the　few。　He　stroked　his　mustache；　and　returned　to　his　petticoat　government。　The　two　grooms　were　dismissed。

The　entry　of　the　third　and　last　man　took　me　completely　by　surprise。

If　the　stranger's　short　coat　and　light　trousers　had　not　proclaimed　his　vocation　in　life；　I　should　have　taken　it　for　granted　that　there　had　been　some　mistake；　and　that　we　were　favored　with　a　visit　from　a　gentleman　unknown。　He　was　between　dark　and　light　in　complexion；　with　frank　clear　blue　eyes；　quiet　and　intelligent；　if　appearances　were　to　be　trusted；　easy　in　his　movements；　respectful　in　his　manner；　but　perfectly　free　from　servility。　〃I　say！〃　the　General　blurted　out；　addressing　my　aunt　confidentially；　〃_he_　looks　as　if　he　would　do；　doesn't　he？〃

The　appearance　of　the　new　man　seemed　to　have　had　the　same　effect　on　Lady　Claudia　which　it　had　produced　on　me。　But　she　got　over　her　first　feeling　of　surprise　sooner　than　I　did。　〃You　know　best；〃　she　answered；　with　the　air　of　a　woman　who　declined　to　trouble　herself　by　giving　an　opinion。

〃Step　forward；　my　man；〃　said　the　General。　The　groom　advanced　from　the　door；　bowed；　and　stopped　at　the　foot　of　the　tablemy　uncle　sitting　at　the　head；　with　my　aunt　and　myself　on　either　side　of　him。　The　inevitable　questions　began。

〃What　is　your　name？〃

〃Michael　Bloomfield。〃

〃Your　age？〃

〃Twenty…six。〃

My　aunt's　want　of　interest　in　the　proceedings　expressed　itself　by　a　little　weary　sigh。　She　leaned　back　resignedly　in　her　chair。

The　General　went　on　with　his　questions：　〃What　experience　have　you　had　as　a　groom？〃

〃I　began　learning　my　work；　sir；　before　I　was　twelve　years　old。〃

〃Yes！　yes！　I　mean　what　private　families　have　you　served　in？〃

〃Two；　sir。〃

〃How　long　have　you　been　in　your　two　situations？〃

〃Four　years　in　the　first；　and　three　in　the　second。〃

The　General　looked　agreeably　surprised。　〃Seven　years　in　only　two　situations　is　a　good　character　in　itself；〃　he　remarked。　〃Who　are　your　references？〃

The　groom　laid　two　papers　on　the　table。

〃I　don't　take　written　references；〃　said　the　General。

〃Be　pleased　to　read　my　papers；　sir；〃　answered　the　groom。

My　uncle　looked　sharply　across　the　table。　The　groom　sustained　the　look　with　respectful　but　unshaken　composure。　The　General　took　up　the　papers；　and　seemed　to　be　once　more　favorably　impressed　as　he　read　them。　〃Personal　references　in　each　case　if　requi