little novels-第14章
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shelter of my fan。 His appearance was greatly improved by evening dress。 He discovered me in my corner; and seemed doubtful whether to approach me or not。 I was reminded of our first odd meeting; and I could not help smiling as I called it to mind。 Did he presume to think that I was encouraging him? Before I could decide that question; he took the vacant place on the sofa。 In any other manafter what had passed in the morningthis would have been an audacious proceeding。 _He_ looked so painfully embarrassed; that i t became a species of Christian duty to pity him。
〃Won't you shake hands?〃 he said; just as he had said it at Sandwich。
I peeped round the corner of my fan at Miss Melbury。 She was looking at us。 I shook hands with Mr。 Sax。
〃What sort of sensation is it;〃 he asked; 〃when you shake hands with a man whom you hate?〃
〃I really can't tell you;〃 I answered innocently; 〃I have never done such a thing。〃
〃You would not lunch with me at Sandwich;〃 he protested; 〃and; after the humblest apology on my part; you won't forgive me for what I did this morning。 Do you expect me to believe that I am not the special object of your antipathy? I wish I had never met with you! At my age; a man gets angry when he is treated cruelly and doesn't deserve it。 You don't understand that; I dare say。〃
〃Oh; yes; I do。 I heard what you said about me to Mrs。 Fosdyke; and I heard you bang the door when you got out of my way。〃
He received this reply with every appearance of satisfaction。 〃So you listened; did you? I'm glad to hear that。〃
〃Why?〃
〃It shows you take some interest in me; after all。〃
Throughout this frivolous talk (I only venture to report it because it shows that I bore no malice on my side) Miss Melbury was looking at us like the basilisk of the ancients。 She owned to being on the wrong side of thirty; and she had a little moneybut these were surely no reasons why she should glare at a poor governess。 Had some secret understanding of the tender sort been already established between Mr。 Sax and herself? She provoked me into trying to find outespecially as the last words he had said offered me the opportunity。
〃I can prove that I feel a sincere interest in you;〃 I resumed。 〃I can resign you to a lady who has a far better claim to your attention than mine。 You are neglecting her shamefully。〃
He stared at me with an appearance of bewilderment; which seemed to imply that the attachment was on the lady's side; so far。 It was of course impossible to mention names; I merely turned my eyes in the right direction。 He looked where I lookedand his shyness revealed itself; in spite of his resolution to conceal it。 His face flushed; he looked mortified and surprised。 Miss Melbury could endure it no longer。 She rose; took a song from the music…stand; and approached us。
〃I am going to sing;〃 she said; handing the music to him。 〃Please turn over for me; Mr。 Sax。〃
I think he hesitatedbut I cannot feel sure that I observed him correctly。 It matters little。 With or without hesitation; he followed her to the piano。
Miss Melbury sangwith perfect self…possession; and an immense compass of voice。 A gentleman near me said she ought to be on the stage。 I thought so too。 Big as it was; our drawing…room was not large enough for her。 The gentleman sang next。 No voice at allbut so sweet; such true feeling! I turned over the leaves for him。 A dear old lady; sitting near the piano; entered into conversation with me。 She spoke of the great singers at the beginning of the present century。 Mr。 Sax hovered about; with Miss Melbury's eye on him。 I was so entranced by the anecdotes of my venerable friend; that I could take no notice of Mr。 Sax。 Later; when the dinner…party was over; and we were retiring for the night; he still hovered about; and ended in offering me a bedroom candle。 I immediately handed it to Miss Melbury。 Really a most enjoyable evening!
VI。
THE next morning we were startled by an extraordinary proceeding on the part of one of the guests。 Mr。 Sax had left Carsham Hall by the first trainnobody knew why。
Nature has laidso; at least; philosophers saysome heavy burdens upon women。 Do those learned persons include in their list the burden of hysterics? If so; I cordially agree with them。 It is hardly worth speaking of in my casea constitutional outbreak in the solitude of my own room; treated with eau…de…cologne and water; and quite forgotten afterward in the absorbing employment of education。 My favorite pupil; Freddy; had been up earlier than the rest of usbreathing the morning air in the fruit…garden。 He had seen Mr。 Sax and had asked him when he was coming back again。 And Mr。 Sax had said; 〃I shall be back again next month。〃 (Dear little Freddy!)
In the meanwhile we; in the schoolroom; had the prospect before us of a dull time in an empty house。 The remaining guests were to go away at the end of the week; their hostess being engaged to pay a visit to some old friends in Scotland。
During the next three or four days; though I was often alone with Mrs。 Fosdyke; she never said one word on the subject of Mr。 Sax。 Once or twice I caught her looking at me with that unendurably significant smile of hers。 Miss Melbury was equally unpleasant in another way。 When we accidentally met on the stairs; her black eyes shot at me passing glances of hatred and scorn。 Did these two ladies presume to think?
No; I abstained from completing that inquiry at the time; and I abstain from completing it here。
The end of the week came; and I and the children were left alone at Carsham Hall。
I took advantage of the leisure hours at my disposal to write to Sir Gervase; respectfully inquiring after his health; and informing him that I had been again most fortunate in my engagement as a governess。 By return of post an answer arrived。 I eagerly opened it。 The first lines informed me of Sir Gervase Damian's death。
The letter dropped from my hand。 I looked at my little enameled cross。 It is not for me to say what I felt。 Think of all that I owed to him; and remember how lonely my lot was in the world。 I gave the children a holiday; it was only the truth to tell them that I was not well。
How long an interval passed before I could call to mind that I had only read the first lines of the letter; I am not able to say。 When I did take it up I was surprised to see that the writing covered two pages。 Beginning again where I had left off; my head; in a moment more; began to swim。 A horrid fear overpowered me that I might not be in my right mind; after I had read the first three sentences。 Here they are; to answer for me that I exaggerate nothing:
〃The will of our deceased client is not yet proved。 But; with the sanction of the executors; I inform you confidentially that you are the person chiefly interested in it。 Sir Gervase Damian bequeaths to you; absolutely; the whole of his personal property; amounting to the sum of seventy thousand pounds。〃
If the letter had ended there; I really cannot imagine what extravagances I might not have committed。 But the writer {head partner in the firm of Sir Gervase's lawyers) had something more to say on his own behalf。 The manner in which he said it strung up my nerves in an instant。 I can not; and will not; copy the words here。 It is quite revolting enough to give the substance of them。
The man's object was evidently to let me perceive that he disapproved of the will。 So far I do not complain of himhe had; no doubt; good reason for the view he took。 But; in expressing his surprise 〃at this extraordinary proof of the testator's interest in a perfect stranger to the family;〃 he hinted his suspicion of an influence; on my part; exercised over Sir Gervase; so utterly shameful; that I cannot dwell on the subject。 The language; I should add; was cunningly guarded。 Even I could see that it would bear more than one interpretation; and would thus put me in the wrong if I openly resented it。 But the meaning was plain; and part at least of the motive came out in the following sentences:
〃The present Sir Gervase; as you are doubtless aware; is not seriously affected by his father's will。 He is already more liberally provided for; as heir under the entail to the whole of the landed property。 But;